At the mall, with my sister, there was an individual booth with fast-talking salesman and I accidentally made eye-contact with one of them.
The guy starts walking toward me and my sister. He's holding an opened tube of hand lotion, nodding his head with this ear-to-ear smile on his face. I look behind me, back to him, beside me, back to him and ask, "You're talking to me?"
"Yes, yes I am."
"I'm not going to buy anything."
"That's all right, just come and try this lotion."
"Okay, but, really, we're not going to buy anything."
"That's fine, you don't have to. Just try the lotion."
He gives us both a squeeze. He asked to see our nails. He didn't like mine, but he loved Amanda's. They're long enough to slit someone's throat with, and, yes, they are real. He takes my middle finger, on my right hand and starts to buff it with something. I see all his little nail sets around and think, 'Oh, great.'
"Now, this will last for two weeks." He turns to my sister, "You're going to be so jealous of her nails when I'm finished." He turns to me, "She's going to be so jealous."
"I'll be the judge of that," I casually say.
After he's done, my nail is really shiny, it's a fucking miracle. "Wowwww, look," I point my middle finger to my sister.
She chuckles.
"See? What did I tell you?" He turns to my sister, "See? Let me see your nails. Ah, you have polish on, don't you? Okay, here, see how it's off now?" She nods. And he repeats everything he did to me.
He asks us if we love it. "I like it," I correct him.
"Try it with a different nail."
Then he taught me how to do it. So, I now have two, very shiny, middle fingernails. So chalantly he hands out the boxes full of the product(s) we just used. He's telling us how we have to love it, where it came from. When he pauses, I repeat, "I'm not buying it, I told you I'm not buying anything," I say this with a smile.
"Hey, not trying."
"But I have the product in my hand."
"But you love it?"
"I like it."
He even offered a discount, and if I bought one, then he'd give my sister one for free. I told him I didn't have enough money to buy it (which is the total truth).
"I don't even have 50 bucks."
"How much do you have?"
"Four in dollars."
"Debit?"
"Twenty."
All the strict truth.
"Credit?"
I scrunch my face, "I definitely don't have credit."
"Oh."
"I tell you what, if I have extra money one day, I'll buy it." I fib.
"When will that be?"
"I honestly don't know."
"But the price."
"Won't be the same tomorrow, I know, but I don't have the money."
And we handed the boxes back to him and that was it, haha.
I know, if that was the funniest part of my day, then I need to get out more. Well, we were at Barnes and Noble later and this old lady dropped a straw out of the cup and, instead of picking it up, she scooted it to the side... Not even to the side, just a centimeter away from its landing point. haaaaaa.
Oh, met another author today, Stephen Zimmer.
Yes, that's his real name, I asked. I thought it was a cool name.
He was a very, very, very nice man.
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