I would like to start from today so I can put all I remember in order... Well, backwards order.
Jaccob invited me over, despite the football game being on. Dolphins versus... Wow, some team in blue - I can't even remember their name. I studied a bit for my Japanese vocabulary test. Then the game went off. Finally thinking we had alone time, another game came on Steelers VS NY Giants.
I was internally cursing.
I wanted alone time with him.
So, I just started distracting him with kissing his neck, touching places, and pressing my body against his. Of course, he eventually caved. But we agreed if we were going to have sex, that he could turn his head and watch it whenever he wanted.
Guys, he did.
While having sex, he was watching and yelled, "TOUCH DOWN."
Then we went to Haven with Scotty, Alan, and their friends. One girl brought Cards Against Humanity. Hilarious fucking game. I want to own that game.
Christmas ideas.
Jaccob won of course. He told me I was going to hear about it all the way home.
So I did my mocking voice, "Oh, honey, do you remember when I won that game?"
A guy liked my comment because I'M FUCKING HILARIOUS.
The other night I came over and Jaccob and I were making out.
Then he started to strip me. I said, "Hold on, who said I was ready?"
He scoffed, "Whatever, I cough and you're ready."
. . .
I can't help it, Jaccob.
On Halloween night Jaccob and I got airborne (thanks to Todd for this word).
We were standing outside his window after climbing out of it for the hell of it. He said something about his room being the Love Room. Then I thought of how one might say that in Japanese.
"Ai no... What's room? Geez, would it be lovely room?"
So, when we eventually went back inside I got on google translate. It said, "愛の部屋."
I stared blankly then said, "Ai no... whatever that is."
On Halloween there was also confusion about someone not having on a condom and the other person not knowing until they stopped to put it on in the first place.
Bam.
Jaccob tried to match our noises to a song from The Lion King.
No, not Hakuna Matata, but The Lion Sleeps Tonight.
I like interrupting makeout sessions with, "Jaccob, what do you like most about me?"
He would laugh.
And I would stop again with, "I'm serious."
Every girl is now nodding and smiling.
IN OTHER NEWS....
I'm tired of Bananas being the more fragile fruit. I put it in my backpack; it gets slightly bumped and the whole fucking banana is bruised. Never met something with such an iron deficiency.
If I want that shit in my locker at work the peel is a soggy brown four hours later on lunch. Fucking metal. Fucking banana.
Saw Wreck-it Ralph! Was awesome.
I am now officially pooped out.
Ha, pooped.
Showing posts with label tv. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tv. Show all posts
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Reasoning Skills With Sexism
I had a great weekend.
And, for the first time, I am not being sarcastic.
(Me - I was being sarcastic, Jaccob.
Jaccob - Your sarcasm sucks.
Me - It's just because it's so dry and I'm so intelligent.)
Friday everything worked.
Saturday fucking tired.
Sunday is/was equal to Saturday.
I bought quite a few things on Friday.
Let me explain.
There was a giant book sale for the library that Jaccob, Todd, and I went to. Jaccob bought an entire box full of books.
I had ten/eleven books.
Which included some Stephen King, RL Stine, and Animorphs.
Please, stop being jealous. Actually, I wouldn't have went if it weren't for the guys, so thanks for the books.
And Jaccob loudly said that there were Twilight books over there. I said, "Oh cooooooool..."
Then some woman stopped me to tell me I was going in the wrong direction.
And some man with an eye patch handed Jaccob a book. Told him it was an awesome sci-fi. Jaccob said okay, he would try it out. Then the guy took it back, saying it was in his box. That man was pretentiously weird. He asked what genre I liked to read. I told him mostly horror. He asked if that meant vampires - like I'm some Twilight and Vampire Diaries bitch. I told him that was sissy shit, but not in those exact words - his eye patch was enough for me. He was pretty rad for it.
When we paid, however, I had to write out a check. Now, I have special ordered my checks (since I would have to pay more through my bank anyway) and they have little pigs on them. They're cute as fuck.
The woman who was ringing me up was up in my shit with, "Why would you special order checks with pigs on them?"
I showed them to her.
"Yes, they're cute, but why? It doesn't make sense."
And when I handed the check to her, she said, "And that's how you sign your name? Geez, your bank must know you."
I looked at her seriously and said, "Yes, they know me by name."
ANYWAY, on our way out I spotted some train/car 3D cardboard project. I picked up one of each and so did Jaccob.
I couldn't get the front of the train to stick, so I had to tape it. HOWEVER, I built mine first.
Afterwards, I won shotgun in Todd's car.
I bought the No Strings Attached album. Yes, by fucking N*Sync. Don't judge me. I lost it all those years before. I'm listening to it now.
Bring da house, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon raise the roof.
Does anyone remember that movie where Lance tried to be straight.... Even Justin tried to be cool in it. I watched it for them. Excuse me, just for Justin. He was my crush in my early teen days.
Then I switched to Eminem.
Where the transition from the "prep" to the rebel happened I will never know.
Then we went back to Todd's where he showed us a movie his mom accidentally allowed him to watch as a 10-year-old boy. It's called The Toxic Avenger. Best fucking movie I've watched this year. I cannot explain how hilarious it was.
All I kept thinking was how this explained Todd as a person for me now. It was the epitome of you, Todd-ster.
If you haven't watched it, it is on Netflix, please watch.
We did watch maybe five minutes of this awful Russian movie. I was zoning in and out of boredom with the long, over-expensive opening credz. When I came back to, I noticed the names and said, "All their names look like math equations."
The guys just nodded and soon I found out that it was just a decoration for their names and the real Russian came up. I laughed and apologized for my stupidity. In all honesty, though, that's where all the budget for the film went to.
Todd didn't like the movie Mean Girls.
I'm drinking Dunkin' Donuts pumpkin spice coffee. It's not all that. Taste more like pumpkin potpourri.
Me - If you had a chance to be a woman for the rest of your life, would you?
Scotty - See, that dips into the unknown, I would not. You can sleep with all the women in the world but you won't actually know until you are one. But, honestly, I would not be a woman because I want to be left with my reasoning skills.
Me - So you're saying that you want to be a man so you can keep your reasoning skills?
Scotty - Yes.
And, for the first time, I am not being sarcastic.
(Me - I was being sarcastic, Jaccob.
Jaccob - Your sarcasm sucks.
Me - It's just because it's so dry and I'm so intelligent.)
Friday everything worked.
Saturday fucking tired.
Sunday is/was equal to Saturday.
I bought quite a few things on Friday.
Let me explain.
There was a giant book sale for the library that Jaccob, Todd, and I went to. Jaccob bought an entire box full of books.
I had ten/eleven books.
Which included some Stephen King, RL Stine, and Animorphs.
Please, stop being jealous. Actually, I wouldn't have went if it weren't for the guys, so thanks for the books.
And Jaccob loudly said that there were Twilight books over there. I said, "Oh cooooooool..."
Then some woman stopped me to tell me I was going in the wrong direction.
And some man with an eye patch handed Jaccob a book. Told him it was an awesome sci-fi. Jaccob said okay, he would try it out. Then the guy took it back, saying it was in his box. That man was pretentiously weird. He asked what genre I liked to read. I told him mostly horror. He asked if that meant vampires - like I'm some Twilight and Vampire Diaries bitch. I told him that was sissy shit, but not in those exact words - his eye patch was enough for me. He was pretty rad for it.
When we paid, however, I had to write out a check. Now, I have special ordered my checks (since I would have to pay more through my bank anyway) and they have little pigs on them. They're cute as fuck.
The woman who was ringing me up was up in my shit with, "Why would you special order checks with pigs on them?"
I showed them to her.
"Yes, they're cute, but why? It doesn't make sense."
And when I handed the check to her, she said, "And that's how you sign your name? Geez, your bank must know you."
I looked at her seriously and said, "Yes, they know me by name."
ANYWAY, on our way out I spotted some train/car 3D cardboard project. I picked up one of each and so did Jaccob.
I couldn't get the front of the train to stick, so I had to tape it. HOWEVER, I built mine first.
I had to tape the bitch down. I also tried to make it look like the train smashed into the car. Sadly, it just looks like the train is humping the sports car. Poor things.
When I set it up, I said, "Guys, you have to be as funny as this to be counted as blog material."
That's when Todd asked if the train was humping the car.
I couldn't pass them up. This is what Jaccob did with his car. Props, man, props.
Afterwards, I won shotgun in Todd's car.
I bought the No Strings Attached album. Yes, by fucking N*Sync. Don't judge me. I lost it all those years before. I'm listening to it now.
Bring da house, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon raise the roof.
Does anyone remember that movie where Lance tried to be straight.... Even Justin tried to be cool in it. I watched it for them. Excuse me, just for Justin. He was my crush in my early teen days.
Then I switched to Eminem.
Where the transition from the "prep" to the rebel happened I will never know.
Then we went back to Todd's where he showed us a movie his mom accidentally allowed him to watch as a 10-year-old boy. It's called The Toxic Avenger. Best fucking movie I've watched this year. I cannot explain how hilarious it was.
All I kept thinking was how this explained Todd as a person for me now. It was the epitome of you, Todd-ster.
If you haven't watched it, it is on Netflix, please watch.
We did watch maybe five minutes of this awful Russian movie. I was zoning in and out of boredom with the long, over-expensive opening credz. When I came back to, I noticed the names and said, "All their names look like math equations."
The guys just nodded and soon I found out that it was just a decoration for their names and the real Russian came up. I laughed and apologized for my stupidity. In all honesty, though, that's where all the budget for the film went to.
Todd didn't like the movie Mean Girls.
I'm drinking Dunkin' Donuts pumpkin spice coffee. It's not all that. Taste more like pumpkin potpourri.
Me - If you had a chance to be a woman for the rest of your life, would you?
Scotty - See, that dips into the unknown, I would not. You can sleep with all the women in the world but you won't actually know until you are one. But, honestly, I would not be a woman because I want to be left with my reasoning skills.
Me - So you're saying that you want to be a man so you can keep your reasoning skills?
Scotty - Yes.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Walking Furniture
Let's see if I can push through the nausea to write one post that has a lot in a short amount of time.
Let's get it started... in here. (Sorry, couldn't help myself.)
I went to the movies yesterday with Todd and Jaccob. We went to see Looper (I love saying that in a french accent). It was pretty bad. Don't get me wrong, I liked a lot of aspect that I won't dive into. Of course, I called out that it would be bad since the trailer, but the guys seemed to enjoy it, the trailer I mean.. Told you so. It was such a manly movie though.
Manly, Heather? How can you even fucking say that when you, yourself, are trying to blur the lines of gender?
My definition of "manly themes" are as follows:
1. Boob shots for the sake of having breasts.
2. Guns. No need to shoot of a gun sometimes, or hold one, but it's there and it's fun so why not?
3. Explosions. Hell yes. I like this one for the sake of liking it.
4. Drugs. A cool idea for drugs but I want to know if the person would eventually become blind.
5. Falling in love with that woman who lets you fuck her ass, but nurses your addict ass back to health.
6. The idea that women weren't cool enough to have simple action scenes.
7. Cool cars. The definition of cool here is loose, very loose (like the women).
8. Long, sweeping coats. Check.
9. Women stereotyping in general: very mom-esque (caring, loving, willing to stroke your hair then null the prostitution contract).
10. And one old man that all the other boys look up to because he's so calm in such a big position of power.
But the fun didn't stop there.
We went to Steak-n-Shake where the table beside us had older, late twenties, guys. One kind of did this snarling howl at a college girl walking by. There was some tension in the air, mostly because it was awkward and discomforting.
And our waiter sucked. Which was understandable because there were two and the whole restaurant was packed with sororities and fraternities (if they weren't, God shoot me down now). But, when we were all checking out I made a comment that I wasn't going to tip because he did suck. Yes, I've been a waitress, but damn. Then, as Todd walked out, Jaccob loudly said, "Heather, aren't you going to tip?!"
He said it was payback because I ruined an ending to one of his stories he had to tell Todd. Jaccob didn't get his guy time. Ha, Jaccob, ha.
Then Todd invited us back to his place.
We all talked for an hour and then Todd wanted to go crash for the night. We waited and then Jaccob turned to me and said, "Do you want to rearrange Todd's house?"
There were a few things I learned that night:
1. Jaccob can't carry furniture. He was fucking picking up the kitchen table by the legs. Holding the legs when it was upside down. Jesus, his furniture must be wobbly.
"Jaccob, pick it up from the bottom."
"Why? The legs have screws."
"They have a fucking weight limit, Jaccob."
"They're doing fine."
"Oh my god, just rest it down and pick it up from the bottom."
We put it down and then....
"Don't pick it up by the legs again!"
It was a looper moment.
2. I don't know how Todd got his couch in the den because we couldn't fit it through the doorway. We tried to wedge it but we gave up and pretty quickly too.
3. That with enough board games stacked on one another the boxes start to give.
4. Jaccob can't stack kid chairs.
5. Todd's house has a lot of shelving.
6. That I'm not really a bitch because I wouldn't rearrange DVD discs to different cases.
All in all, a very enlightening experience.
And we just ended up putting the kitchen table and chairs into the den, turning the couch around and stacking whatever you see in the picture below.
The other morning it was raining. Everyone has their windows up, so I figured I could actually listen to my radio as loud as I wanted so I wouldn't get as many stoplight comments. I was wrong. Sort of.
I was playing Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden at a stop light. Now, I pulled up making sure both the two cars on both sides of me had their windows up. They did. It was just playing and I look around to see what traffic was doing and I noticed that the van beside me had rolled down his window.
I looked at the guy and he was leaning upward to meet my stare and just nodding with the music. He started to open his mouth.
All I could do was do my side-grin and look away.
That man looked like he knew his way around a needle (I told that exact description to two people, ha).
People think it's rare, but for me, these little moments, and more, happen whenever I have my music loud. It's annoying.
Let's get it started... in here. (Sorry, couldn't help myself.)
I went to the movies yesterday with Todd and Jaccob. We went to see Looper (I love saying that in a french accent). It was pretty bad. Don't get me wrong, I liked a lot of aspect that I won't dive into. Of course, I called out that it would be bad since the trailer, but the guys seemed to enjoy it, the trailer I mean.. Told you so. It was such a manly movie though.
Manly, Heather? How can you even fucking say that when you, yourself, are trying to blur the lines of gender?
My definition of "manly themes" are as follows:
1. Boob shots for the sake of having breasts.
2. Guns. No need to shoot of a gun sometimes, or hold one, but it's there and it's fun so why not?
3. Explosions. Hell yes. I like this one for the sake of liking it.
4. Drugs. A cool idea for drugs but I want to know if the person would eventually become blind.
5. Falling in love with that woman who lets you fuck her ass, but nurses your addict ass back to health.
6. The idea that women weren't cool enough to have simple action scenes.
7. Cool cars. The definition of cool here is loose, very loose (like the women).
8. Long, sweeping coats. Check.
9. Women stereotyping in general: very mom-esque (caring, loving, willing to stroke your hair then null the prostitution contract).
10. And one old man that all the other boys look up to because he's so calm in such a big position of power.
But the fun didn't stop there.
We went to Steak-n-Shake where the table beside us had older, late twenties, guys. One kind of did this snarling howl at a college girl walking by. There was some tension in the air, mostly because it was awkward and discomforting.
And our waiter sucked. Which was understandable because there were two and the whole restaurant was packed with sororities and fraternities (if they weren't, God shoot me down now). But, when we were all checking out I made a comment that I wasn't going to tip because he did suck. Yes, I've been a waitress, but damn. Then, as Todd walked out, Jaccob loudly said, "Heather, aren't you going to tip?!"
He said it was payback because I ruined an ending to one of his stories he had to tell Todd. Jaccob didn't get his guy time. Ha, Jaccob, ha.
Then Todd invited us back to his place.
We all talked for an hour and then Todd wanted to go crash for the night. We waited and then Jaccob turned to me and said, "Do you want to rearrange Todd's house?"
There were a few things I learned that night:
1. Jaccob can't carry furniture. He was fucking picking up the kitchen table by the legs. Holding the legs when it was upside down. Jesus, his furniture must be wobbly.
"Jaccob, pick it up from the bottom."
"Why? The legs have screws."
"They have a fucking weight limit, Jaccob."
"They're doing fine."
"Oh my god, just rest it down and pick it up from the bottom."
We put it down and then....
"Don't pick it up by the legs again!"
It was a looper moment.
2. I don't know how Todd got his couch in the den because we couldn't fit it through the doorway. We tried to wedge it but we gave up and pretty quickly too.
3. That with enough board games stacked on one another the boxes start to give.
4. Jaccob can't stack kid chairs.
5. Todd's house has a lot of shelving.
6. That I'm not really a bitch because I wouldn't rearrange DVD discs to different cases.
All in all, a very enlightening experience.
And we just ended up putting the kitchen table and chairs into the den, turning the couch around and stacking whatever you see in the picture below.
Then we stood and talked. I mentioned something about running. Jaccob mentioned that I just run on a treadmill. I said, "Well, I sweat in odd places so I don't want to go outside."
There was a slightly longer pause before he said, "But if you don't have like a giant," he took his hand and made a giant circle around his crotch, "sweat stain here that looks like you're peeing..."
I cut him off, "Uh, I wasn't talking about my vagina."
"Oh."
He said something else that related to my nether-regions and I told him that wasn't the direction at all.
It ended up with him telling me to run in a tank top since the way my shirt lays, it just looks like my shoulder-blades sweat. Quite embarrassing. I do, but I have a thing for tank tops so I don't buy any that I could ruin. So I have to buy some.
The other morning it was raining. Everyone has their windows up, so I figured I could actually listen to my radio as loud as I wanted so I wouldn't get as many stoplight comments. I was wrong. Sort of.
I was playing Black Hole Sun by Soundgarden at a stop light. Now, I pulled up making sure both the two cars on both sides of me had their windows up. They did. It was just playing and I look around to see what traffic was doing and I noticed that the van beside me had rolled down his window.
I looked at the guy and he was leaning upward to meet my stare and just nodding with the music. He started to open his mouth.
All I could do was do my side-grin and look away.
That man looked like he knew his way around a needle (I told that exact description to two people, ha).
People think it's rare, but for me, these little moments, and more, happen whenever I have my music loud. It's annoying.
Her description was just funny. And that's me sick all day. My hair is awesome.
When I say sick, I mean sick of you all.
Saturday, September 22, 2012
Loopholes
So, a dorky mom was in the men's section and was looking at the "funny" graphic tees. One of them had a potato looking surprised at a thing of fries. In a bubble above the vegetable's head, it read, "Is that you, bro?"
She laughed and the son asked for an explanation.
She said, "Because the fries used to be its brother."
It took me a bit because I wondered why this woman would give more backstory to a caption that deserves no other thought. Then it hit me, like a sack of fucking potatoes: She thought "Bro" literally means brother, and no other connotations other than that - just an abbreviation for brother. I was thinking, "Damn, I don't want to be that lame."
Too bad I will be.
And too bad I can't wait to be.
Speaking of Disney....
My sister has these stickers... Now, what's funny is, I don't know how she has these stickers. So, I come home and I see Pluto's head with that note. It's still there because it's fucking adorable. She handed me Dumbo the other day, it's on a notebook beside me.
And speaking of more Disney....
I'm done and have homework.
c wut u bitches doo 2 me?
She laughed and the son asked for an explanation.
She said, "Because the fries used to be its brother."
It took me a bit because I wondered why this woman would give more backstory to a caption that deserves no other thought. Then it hit me, like a sack of fucking potatoes: She thought "Bro" literally means brother, and no other connotations other than that - just an abbreviation for brother. I was thinking, "Damn, I don't want to be that lame."
Too bad I will be.
And too bad I can't wait to be.
(Before I get to the actual background of this picture, I would like to give a conversation that happened five minutes ago for this said background:
Me - Mom! How old was I when I bought that Harry Potter wand?
Mom - Uh, 13 or 14.
Me - *pause* Uh, I wasn't that old.
Mom - *slowly smiles and then starts laughing* Oh, yes you were.
Me - I was not! No way I was that old and bought that. *starts to walk away*
Mom - Stop being in denial, you were... Because we made you a Harry Potter cake for your birthday in your Freshman year.
Me - Oh yeah! *runs back to the kitchen* And my friend was like, "Really, Heather, really?")
So the wand (see above) I bought when I was in my early teens. As I walked through Barnes and Noble the other day I noticed that they just had boxes of them sitting on the HP focal. Made me reminisce. So then I realized I had bought one, went home, asked my sister where it was - she got it. I then took a pic (see above) and here we are.
When my sister handed it to me, she gave me a story:
Amanda - I hated it. You began tapping my knee with it, saying, "Crucio!" When you realized it wasn't doing anything, you started to jab my knee and scream, "CRUCIO!"
Me - *laughs* Man, I'm awesome.
Amanda - Then I wrestled it from you and stabbed you with it while yelling, "AVADA KEDAVRA!"
Me - I'm still awesome.
Amanda - Then mom came in and yelled at both of us to stop before we hurt one another.
Ahhh, a story with double meaning at the end.
Okay, now that's out of the way....
I was watching Beauty and the Beast for the millionth time in my life the other night (right before Micheru and I began talking about it) and I had a thought...
Now, if all the servants were changed into a piece of equipment by their corresponding chore then who emptied the chamber pot?
Belle certainly didn't empty it herself.
So, I'm guessing that the poor bastard who did empty it was changed into one. Can you imagine someone shitting IN you for the entire magical lifespan?
And think about the Beast's shit. Imagine how big and frightful that must've been. Of course, he was an animal, so he probably scratched and sniffed outside. Which brings me to that Belle really must've loved him because she probably walked outside on that a couple of times. Love overcomes any hurdle, shit, a massive pile of feces that a shovel would have to get up and scoot out of the way in the yard.
Speaking of Disney....
My sister has these stickers... Now, what's funny is, I don't know how she has these stickers. So, I come home and I see Pluto's head with that note. It's still there because it's fucking adorable. She handed me Dumbo the other day, it's on a notebook beside me.
I'm done and have homework.
c wut u bitches doo 2 me?
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Ahoy, Future Ahead!
First off, have a short, short, short film (2 minutes, 15 seconds long) that a woman posted on her blog Polly-vous Francais? It's quite hilarious.
http://vimeo.com/37009237
I didn't want to post the video itself because I hate what it does to my page, so, just click the link and I swear to you that it's not porn.
Me - if they think I'm honestly angry over something then I'm not going to correct them and say, "Guys, I was being sarcastic."
Amanda - Geez, you must have an awful opinion of people. Honestly, if they think somthing incorrectly of you and then you don't correct them and knock off 10% of their intelligence. People must be idiots to you.
Me - Hey, if they don't ask and just assume I'm not. It's their fault. And besides, I do.
Amanda - Well, at least it feeds your superiority complex, right?
Secondly, Jaccob made me "lmao" the other day. That hardly ever happens, folks:
Wow, five days ago - this hardly feels like five-days-ago material. I am slacking.
So, the other night (literally this time since there's not a time stamp to prove otherwise) I had a dream that me and Fallon were held up in some elementary school. So, she decides to start teaching me Magic. Ha.
Then I woke up because I had to pee (story of my life). Afterwards, I went back to sleep and dreamed that one of the guys then began to teach me Magic.
All in all, I believe this is a premonition and that I will be taught Magic sooner or later.
I would love to be able to see in the future like that. Well, I know Angel covered that line with Doyle, and That's So Raven also covered it with mundane teen life, Supernatural covered it in an episode with that writer, and what else... Oh yeah, that stupid fucking Premonition movie with Sandra Bullock.
Me, I'd let it happen.
I saw someone lose a leg. Welp, Doctor Who says it's a fixed point in time, no way to argue with that. Unless it was MY leg, then I'd break the rules and have dinosaurs, and hot air balloons, and have Winston Churchill as the king of time-fucked land, AND have the Silence lumbering around, doing their side-head they do before they kill.
Yes, all for a leg because I'm worth that much time-gold.
Good day, sir! I said good day!
http://vimeo.com/37009237
I didn't want to post the video itself because I hate what it does to my page, so, just click the link and I swear to you that it's not porn.
Me - if they think I'm honestly angry over something then I'm not going to correct them and say, "Guys, I was being sarcastic."
Amanda - Geez, you must have an awful opinion of people. Honestly, if they think somthing incorrectly of you and then you don't correct them and knock off 10% of their intelligence. People must be idiots to you.
Me - Hey, if they don't ask and just assume I'm not. It's their fault. And besides, I do.
Amanda - Well, at least it feeds your superiority complex, right?
Secondly, Jaccob made me "lmao" the other day. That hardly ever happens, folks:
So, the other night (literally this time since there's not a time stamp to prove otherwise) I had a dream that me and Fallon were held up in some elementary school. So, she decides to start teaching me Magic. Ha.
Then I woke up because I had to pee (story of my life). Afterwards, I went back to sleep and dreamed that one of the guys then began to teach me Magic.
All in all, I believe this is a premonition and that I will be taught Magic sooner or later.
I would love to be able to see in the future like that. Well, I know Angel covered that line with Doyle, and That's So Raven also covered it with mundane teen life, Supernatural covered it in an episode with that writer, and what else... Oh yeah, that stupid fucking Premonition movie with Sandra Bullock.
Me, I'd let it happen.
I saw someone lose a leg. Welp, Doctor Who says it's a fixed point in time, no way to argue with that. Unless it was MY leg, then I'd break the rules and have dinosaurs, and hot air balloons, and have Winston Churchill as the king of time-fucked land, AND have the Silence lumbering around, doing their side-head they do before they kill.
Yes, all for a leg because I'm worth that much time-gold.
Good day, sir! I said good day!
Friday, September 7, 2012
Number One
Before we get to the action, I first have to tell you a back story.
In high school, I went by a name called, ichi. It means "one." Like the number. Just counting wise. I have been asked to be called ichi since I was 16-years-old and I am now 23-years-old.
I have fucking ichi in the hiragana tattooed on my upper back.
This blog is titled after the nickname.
So, in Japanese class my "sensei" does a little roleplay with us, individually, at random, to see how we all understand, I guess. Well, she called my name and asked, "New York wa nanji desu ka." (What time is it in New York?)
I was taken aback and was half-paying attention because we had seven minutes left in class.
I quickly looked at the time sheet. New york was 1:00AM. I quickly said, "Gozen..." then nothing. I couldn't think of the word for one. I just said, "Uh, uh..." while thinking, OMG WHAT IS THE FUCKING WORD FOR ONE?! Then it rushed out, "Ichiji desu."
And because of my stump moment, she said, "I better go through the numbers again."
Perfect.
I joined another book club. I joined one last year around this time, I think, and met Fallon. This time we're reading, "Sanctuary for the Outcasts" by Neil White. He had a book reading at Western Thursday night. Unfortunately I was at work, which sucked. OH THE FUCK WELL.
At the Biology lab today, Tanya and I were sitting beside each other. Two girls joined our group and the two guys down the table also joined.
One said something about sitting beside her then she said, "Ha, if you do... Wait, never mind. I was going to make a joke and realized it wasn't the best to make."
I said, "At least you have that moment."
"Yeah, it was a tit joke. I started it and then was like, 'Oh, this isn't a way to make friends.' "
I laughed, because it's true.
I'm watching Angel, still in the first season and all... And there's this one episode with him going back all evil. I'm sitting here thinking, "That's hot."
So, I'm not debating whether or not to watch that season of Buffy where Angel is all evil. Man oh man am I just debating it.
I am now out of things to talk about since I'm boring since the start of school. I am sure I'll get more boring as the semester progresses -- be looking forward to that.
In high school, I went by a name called, ichi. It means "one." Like the number. Just counting wise. I have been asked to be called ichi since I was 16-years-old and I am now 23-years-old.
I have fucking ichi in the hiragana tattooed on my upper back.
This blog is titled after the nickname.
So, in Japanese class my "sensei" does a little roleplay with us, individually, at random, to see how we all understand, I guess. Well, she called my name and asked, "New York wa nanji desu ka." (What time is it in New York?)
I was taken aback and was half-paying attention because we had seven minutes left in class.
I quickly looked at the time sheet. New york was 1:00AM. I quickly said, "Gozen..." then nothing. I couldn't think of the word for one. I just said, "Uh, uh..." while thinking, OMG WHAT IS THE FUCKING WORD FOR ONE?! Then it rushed out, "Ichiji desu."
And because of my stump moment, she said, "I better go through the numbers again."
Perfect.
I joined another book club. I joined one last year around this time, I think, and met Fallon. This time we're reading, "Sanctuary for the Outcasts" by Neil White. He had a book reading at Western Thursday night. Unfortunately I was at work, which sucked. OH THE FUCK WELL.
At the Biology lab today, Tanya and I were sitting beside each other. Two girls joined our group and the two guys down the table also joined.
One said something about sitting beside her then she said, "Ha, if you do... Wait, never mind. I was going to make a joke and realized it wasn't the best to make."
I said, "At least you have that moment."
"Yeah, it was a tit joke. I started it and then was like, 'Oh, this isn't a way to make friends.' "
I laughed, because it's true.
I'm watching Angel, still in the first season and all... And there's this one episode with him going back all evil. I'm sitting here thinking, "That's hot."
So, I'm not debating whether or not to watch that season of Buffy where Angel is all evil. Man oh man am I just debating it.
I am now out of things to talk about since I'm boring since the start of school. I am sure I'll get more boring as the semester progresses -- be looking forward to that.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Brother, I mean, Sisterhood
Me - *comes out wearing a towel*
Amanda - Wow, surprised you're wearing a towel.
Me - Why? Because it can finally wrap around me?!
Then we shared a laugh and I dripped my way back into the bathroom to finish brushing my teeth.
I've lost a stone now (yes I waited this long just so I can use the British term 'stone'). And everyone and my scale have noticed but me. I guess I want all or nothing, haha.
On my sister's birthday in April I executed my right to my elder-ism and took the first piece of my sister's cake. She, of course, tried to argue, but I told her I didn't care and that they'll be other birthdays. She was angry, but I forgot I had done that until my birthday and Amanda tried to be me. Didn't work. I always put her in headlocks and give her noogies.
So, today, my sister said, "I'm grabbing the last mini-milky way."
Mom said, "That's okay, I put it in there since Heather ate the last one the other day."
I looked at my sister and nodded with a smile, "That's right."
Amanda squinted, "You know, I would have gotten angry."
Sliding my head side-to-side I said, "I don't care if it's the first piece of cake or the last piece of candy, I'm getting it!"
Jaccob and I were talking about Full Metal Alchemist in the breakroom.
Me - It's too depressing.
Jaccob - But the story gets better.
Me - yes, but you have the robot brother...
Jaccob - He's a suit of armor.
Me - *pauses* yes, robot brother.
See, this is what happens to me. I used to watch the one based off its own thing (NOT Brotherhood) all the time. This is where my shitty memory comes in: I used to watch the shit out of it. Used some nerd in high school to get the entire series and movie from him all ripped and nice. So I watched the entire thing and realized that the series is completely depressing and I couldn't afford to lose one more tear drop from my eye (name that song!). Alas, my memory makes me look like a fucking idiot. No, seriously, that show made me its little bitch.
I just relayed this conversation to my sister and she wants me to watch Brotherhood because it's more awesome and nothing like what I watched.
Not to mention that I called Hank off Breaking Bad Harry a few times.
Maybe I just need to care more?
EDIT TWO HOURS LATER...
So me and my sister were talking about obsessions and I brought up to her that I had to stop playing Kingdom Hearts because my obsession got completely out of control. Now, I say this with a list of course...
1. I memorized scenes for fun... The scene with Riku 2 and Sora coming in and finding the comatose Kairi on the floor. He runs up to her and holds her head while saying, "Kairi, Kairi, open your eyes!"
"It's no use, she has lost her heart, she cannot wake up."
2. I saved on different numbers just to watch the scenes.
3. I've started and finished the game like ten times.
4. I downloaded as many fanvideos as possible (the old one with Easier to Run with the ending scene).
5. Shirts and more shirts. Got made fun of a lot.
6. Would title all my school papers with the katakana of Kingdom Hearts. (キングドムハーツ。) <-- I'm right, right?
7. I played Simple and Clean continuously.
8. Hated life because I wasn't a Keyblade Master.
9. Hated life because Riku wasn't real.
10. Never wrote fanfiction of it because I respected it too much.
11. Bought a gameboy advance just to get Chain of Memories...
12. Bought Chain of Memories (again) when it came out on PS2.
13. Memorized all the ages and the HP of some of the bosses.
Yeah, that's all I can remember.
I say this because I think I have to stop myself before I become completely obsessed and repeat my obsessions with something different.
My sister keeps making the troll face at me every time she makes a joke. Not only does she make a troll face, but she'll repeat my name until I look over.
You know guys, I've been trying to find blogs that relate to mine ... No such luck. I'll keep looking for no results. Shows why I never chose a detective for my career field.
Oh my God, Amanda is yelling for me to turn on Brotherhood.
See ya bitches lata.
Amanda - Wow, surprised you're wearing a towel.
Me - Why? Because it can finally wrap around me?!
Then we shared a laugh and I dripped my way back into the bathroom to finish brushing my teeth.
I've lost a stone now (yes I waited this long just so I can use the British term 'stone'). And everyone and my scale have noticed but me. I guess I want all or nothing, haha.
On my sister's birthday in April I executed my right to my elder-ism and took the first piece of my sister's cake. She, of course, tried to argue, but I told her I didn't care and that they'll be other birthdays. She was angry, but I forgot I had done that until my birthday and Amanda tried to be me. Didn't work. I always put her in headlocks and give her noogies.
So, today, my sister said, "I'm grabbing the last mini-milky way."
Mom said, "That's okay, I put it in there since Heather ate the last one the other day."
I looked at my sister and nodded with a smile, "That's right."
Amanda squinted, "You know, I would have gotten angry."
Sliding my head side-to-side I said, "I don't care if it's the first piece of cake or the last piece of candy, I'm getting it!"
Jaccob and I were talking about Full Metal Alchemist in the breakroom.
Me - It's too depressing.
Jaccob - But the story gets better.
Me - yes, but you have the robot brother...
Jaccob - He's a suit of armor.
Me - *pauses* yes, robot brother.
See, this is what happens to me. I used to watch the one based off its own thing (NOT Brotherhood) all the time. This is where my shitty memory comes in: I used to watch the shit out of it. Used some nerd in high school to get the entire series and movie from him all ripped and nice. So I watched the entire thing and realized that the series is completely depressing and I couldn't afford to lose one more tear drop from my eye (name that song!). Alas, my memory makes me look like a fucking idiot. No, seriously, that show made me its little bitch.
I just relayed this conversation to my sister and she wants me to watch Brotherhood because it's more awesome and nothing like what I watched.
Not to mention that I called Hank off Breaking Bad Harry a few times.
Maybe I just need to care more?
EDIT TWO HOURS LATER...
So me and my sister were talking about obsessions and I brought up to her that I had to stop playing Kingdom Hearts because my obsession got completely out of control. Now, I say this with a list of course...
1. I memorized scenes for fun... The scene with Riku 2 and Sora coming in and finding the comatose Kairi on the floor. He runs up to her and holds her head while saying, "Kairi, Kairi, open your eyes!"
"It's no use, she has lost her heart, she cannot wake up."
2. I saved on different numbers just to watch the scenes.
3. I've started and finished the game like ten times.
4. I downloaded as many fanvideos as possible (the old one with Easier to Run with the ending scene).
5. Shirts and more shirts. Got made fun of a lot.
6. Would title all my school papers with the katakana of Kingdom Hearts. (キングドムハーツ。) <-- I'm right, right?
7. I played Simple and Clean continuously.
8. Hated life because I wasn't a Keyblade Master.
9. Hated life because Riku wasn't real.
10. Never wrote fanfiction of it because I respected it too much.
11. Bought a gameboy advance just to get Chain of Memories...
12. Bought Chain of Memories (again) when it came out on PS2.
13. Memorized all the ages and the HP of some of the bosses.
Yeah, that's all I can remember.
I say this because I think I have to stop myself before I become completely obsessed and repeat my obsessions with something different.
My sister keeps making the troll face at me every time she makes a joke. Not only does she make a troll face, but she'll repeat my name until I look over.
You know guys, I've been trying to find blogs that relate to mine ... No such luck. I'll keep looking for no results. Shows why I never chose a detective for my career field.
Oh my God, Amanda is yelling for me to turn on Brotherhood.
See ya bitches lata.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Field Day
It's a fun field entry this evening, ladies and germs.
The weekend's end is nearly upon us and some shit happened:
Friday - Nothing.
Saturday - Work sucking, then Todd's
Sunday - Gave Fallon her purse at my knitting lessons, finished Jaccob's hat, and got a little closer with the sisters.
Now to write this entry completely backwards:
(See the awesome bobbles???)
Oh me, oh my. It only took me a good three days - and that's finishing one piece of the three piece ensemble over one day. Now, sewing it together took hours because I forgot how AND I suck at sewing. No harm in having no pride in it. She loved it. And I actually can't wait until she goes about wearing it.
I'm fantasizing about someone else's fantasy.
I realllllly need a life.
BUT, I am jealous of it, haha.
Jaccob's hat! Before you guys ask, no, he didn't want a pom pom. Please shut the jaws because I tried and he really didn't want one. So, instead of the tip being really, really pointy, I made it more round to make up for the lack of said pom pom. I'm sure there's a penis joke in there somewhere.
I really love stocking caps. They take forever to knit though. My upper back was fucking killing me. I knitted the majority of nine hours at Todd's. I really, really, really, wanted to finish it Saturday night... Sadly, I suck. I joked about it, but I was in serious pain. I could've taken aspirin, but then I wouldn't seem badass through this entry.
Then for making him a Megaman Helmet, Scotty drew me this flower with a random circle at the end of the line. I'm still trying to use my imagination, Scotty. I'm thinking wrecking ball. I almost thought of those balls in the pinball machine, but that doesn't make sense in the longer scheme of things. The lines are intricate and I do like it, Scotty. Thank you.
THE GAME IS FINALLY FINISHED.
Todd, write it the fuck up.
Ended with Hex dying and then regenerating and taking the baby that was wrapped in Kyle's bloody jacket.
Dun dun dun.
I want to say rebirth or something, but I'm not entirely sure how that works.
Oh, ran a 13:40 minute mile, finally. I'm getting there again. I remember the days when I got to a mile and a half without stopping.
I watched 50/50... That movie fucking sucked. It was another cancer movie -- the director creature added NOTHING new. It was just a long cliche.
Yesterday I was getting off my exit from the interstate. As I'm at the stop sign waiting to turn right, I see the almost passing car slow down and try to merge onto the exit ramp through my open window space. Now, instead of honking or yelling to stop, I merely shake my head no, with my eyes wide. I know they saw me because the person in the passenger seat started laughing and the driver looked at me then the GIANT "WRONG WAY" signs and backed up a little to the main road. Ha. They then chose to drive 40mph which is the exact speed to piss me off in a 55 zone.
Next entry will feature pics of my mom's stock pile. That's right. Stock pile. Fuck with that.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
Ohh, My Head
Last night, Scotty, Amanda, and I watched The Dark Knight Rises. It was really good. The first one is still better. Simply because I think that they showed more of The Joker's new mayhem, instead of having a montage of a speech. It's all understandable, but there wasn't much shown. They took easy write-ups for things they didn't, and reasonably, wanted to explain.
I love Bane. Not as much as The Joker, but Bane was amazing. He was so big and forbidden. His accent was perfection. Ha, leave it to a girl to romanticize anything.
I don't want to say much more in fear that I might give away some plot points for my other readers.
The movie did give me a hell of a headache -- one that has lasted for over 24-hours now, even with medication. It was just so fucking loud.
IN OTHER NEWS...
Today I've noticed that people no longer smile with my off-moments.
I went to get my oil changed and we all know how they check your lights. I forgot to turn off mine and at the end of it, he said, "You can turn off your lights now."
I laughed and he look very unamused.
Then.
At Subway, I mistook turkey for chicken. I worked at a deli, so I just assumed they had sliced chicken. The guy asked, "Which chicken?"
I pointed at the turkey and he asked, "So, you mean the turkey?"
I laughed but he gave the same look as the auto-mechanic.
This was their face: :|
I'm watching Pride & Prejudice now.
They're at the ball.
Ack, love it.
Mr Darcy steals my little heart that is three sizes too small.
That makes me wish it was snowing.
I miss throwing snowballs at my sister who says at the doorway, "Now, Heather, don't you dare hit me with a snowball!"
Every damn winter too.
I'm going to end this now while I am hopelessly and incandescently in love.
I love Bane. Not as much as The Joker, but Bane was amazing. He was so big and forbidden. His accent was perfection. Ha, leave it to a girl to romanticize anything.
I don't want to say much more in fear that I might give away some plot points for my other readers.
The movie did give me a hell of a headache -- one that has lasted for over 24-hours now, even with medication. It was just so fucking loud.
IN OTHER NEWS...
Today I've noticed that people no longer smile with my off-moments.
I went to get my oil changed and we all know how they check your lights. I forgot to turn off mine and at the end of it, he said, "You can turn off your lights now."
I laughed and he look very unamused.
Then.
At Subway, I mistook turkey for chicken. I worked at a deli, so I just assumed they had sliced chicken. The guy asked, "Which chicken?"
I pointed at the turkey and he asked, "So, you mean the turkey?"
I laughed but he gave the same look as the auto-mechanic.
This was their face: :|
I'm watching Pride & Prejudice now.
They're at the ball.
Ack, love it.
Mr Darcy steals my little heart that is three sizes too small.
That makes me wish it was snowing.
I miss throwing snowballs at my sister who says at the doorway, "Now, Heather, don't you dare hit me with a snowball!"
Every damn winter too.
I'm going to end this now while I am hopelessly and incandescently in love.
Tuesday, July 3, 2012
Don't Ask Me
All the time I get a good, really fantastic, embarrassing moment from my friends and they immediately say, "I better not see this on your blog!"
So many good ones.
Some are dumb, but I am true to my word.
But I get to thinking about it and I'm just like, "If I don't have embarrassment, then what am I good for?"
So, Marina called me today. She hardly calls me. I thought she was dying, haha.
Anyway, she told me she bought her cousins pizza today and they had to go walk to have it. They did. So, later on, she told me to hold on. I figured they had pizza, or brought it to her. Whatev. Then I hear, "Hey, did you get it?"
I'm still cleaning the kitchen.
"Hey, are you back?"
She was speaking directly to the phone, I said, "Yeah."
"Did you get the pizza?"
I said nothing, realizing she was still talking to them.
"Tavia, do you have the pizza?"
I was still cleaning.
"Tavia, hey, Tavia. Tavia. Tavia." She was starting to sound really aggravated.
"Marina, are they supposed to be on the phone?"
She starts laughing, "I was like, 'Why isn't this girl answering me?'"
I was just laughing.
"Oh God, hahaha, man. Hold on, I'm going to call them."
I laugh in response.
"And, this better not be in your blog."
Sorry, friend, but I really wanted to remember this.
List of productive activities I accomplished today:
1. Cleaned the kitchen
2. Gave dog bath
3. Brushed said dog
4. Took a nap
5. Read some
6. Knitted some
7. Cleaned kitchen again
8. Cooked supper
9. Cleared off kitchen table
Now, #9 may seem stupid as shit, and it is, but my mother coupons. Since last year, my parents have been in the horrendous habit of cluttering our nice kitchen table with detergents, paper towels, dish soap, newspapers, coupons, briefcase, coupon bags, and lunch boxes. My sister and I hate it. Now, the difference between Amanda and me is the fact I am proactive. I cleaned off that fucking table today, meaning, I removed about 25 bottles of dish soap and made room for them on our giant shelves. I moved the trash bags she bought, the macaroni, the newspapers, the lunch boxes, and the ramen to odd points in the house. The table is now clear.
I don't know what it is about a clean kitchen table. I honestly don't. It's just like a blank piece of paper to me - anything can happen on it and it's always there in case something needs to happen, I guess. I just want it clean because I like to do my shit activities on it. Plus, when I cook myself breakfast in the morning, then I can just sit and eat and not have to scoot tons of shit out of the way.
So, Todd commented on my Summer Reading 2012 post and then, at work, we were having a debate on whether or not Ayn Rand was pretentious. Yes, Todd, she can be pretentious, if a person was to use to her as such. She's meant to take a leisure and have you think about what it means to have an "ego" in the literal meaning, the Freud meaning, and other things, but I don't want to seem pretentious. However, bunch of young know-it-alls like to ruin that, which is cool, I get like that too.
But, he went home and got some quotes, which I found quite funny:
(Just to make this clear, Todd wrote the response to the quote, not I. Ha.)
1. To say "I love you" one must first be able to say the "I."
So many good ones.
Some are dumb, but I am true to my word.
But I get to thinking about it and I'm just like, "If I don't have embarrassment, then what am I good for?"
So, Marina called me today. She hardly calls me. I thought she was dying, haha.
Anyway, she told me she bought her cousins pizza today and they had to go walk to have it. They did. So, later on, she told me to hold on. I figured they had pizza, or brought it to her. Whatev. Then I hear, "Hey, did you get it?"
I'm still cleaning the kitchen.
"Hey, are you back?"
She was speaking directly to the phone, I said, "Yeah."
"Did you get the pizza?"
I said nothing, realizing she was still talking to them.
"Tavia, do you have the pizza?"
I was still cleaning.
"Tavia, hey, Tavia. Tavia. Tavia." She was starting to sound really aggravated.
"Marina, are they supposed to be on the phone?"
She starts laughing, "I was like, 'Why isn't this girl answering me?'"
I was just laughing.
"Oh God, hahaha, man. Hold on, I'm going to call them."
I laugh in response.
"And, this better not be in your blog."
Sorry, friend, but I really wanted to remember this.
List of productive activities I accomplished today:
1. Cleaned the kitchen
2. Gave dog bath
3. Brushed said dog
4. Took a nap
5. Read some
6. Knitted some
7. Cleaned kitchen again
8. Cooked supper
9. Cleared off kitchen table
Now, #9 may seem stupid as shit, and it is, but my mother coupons. Since last year, my parents have been in the horrendous habit of cluttering our nice kitchen table with detergents, paper towels, dish soap, newspapers, coupons, briefcase, coupon bags, and lunch boxes. My sister and I hate it. Now, the difference between Amanda and me is the fact I am proactive. I cleaned off that fucking table today, meaning, I removed about 25 bottles of dish soap and made room for them on our giant shelves. I moved the trash bags she bought, the macaroni, the newspapers, the lunch boxes, and the ramen to odd points in the house. The table is now clear.
I don't know what it is about a clean kitchen table. I honestly don't. It's just like a blank piece of paper to me - anything can happen on it and it's always there in case something needs to happen, I guess. I just want it clean because I like to do my shit activities on it. Plus, when I cook myself breakfast in the morning, then I can just sit and eat and not have to scoot tons of shit out of the way.
So, Todd commented on my Summer Reading 2012 post and then, at work, we were having a debate on whether or not Ayn Rand was pretentious. Yes, Todd, she can be pretentious, if a person was to use to her as such. She's meant to take a leisure and have you think about what it means to have an "ego" in the literal meaning, the Freud meaning, and other things, but I don't want to seem pretentious. However, bunch of young know-it-alls like to ruin that, which is cool, I get like that too.
But, he went home and got some quotes, which I found quite funny:
(Just to make this clear, Todd wrote the response to the quote, not I. Ha.)
1. To say "I love you" one must first be able to say the "I."
Sunday, June 24, 2012
Headstrong Peace
Yesterday I went to see Brave. Now, we all know how awfully awful I am at giving an open-minded critique, giving all the excuses in the book to turn the movie around and give it more of an understanding nod than something I went blank in toward the end.
SORT OF SPOILERS -- NO ENDING TOLD.
The first half of the movie was fantastic. Really. The part right before the pastry. Up until the pastry and its latter happenings I was enthralled and excited. Let me tell you why I was so excited to see this: I saw a preview for it, with all its NO plot points to be given and scenes that were so open-ended that one couldn't even begin a plot point. Well, the one I watched gave me the impression that Merida was going to wish her life differently and be trapped in that forest until she figured out that she loved family, or another Disney-related tale. BUT, I was very wrong.
I did not really like the twist and I know it was a child's movie, I get that, but, damn, I did not like it. Just seemed to me like Brother Bear but with girls. Even the commercials, the one replayed at Target, wasn't in the movie - no cool-as-shit scenes with her braving the fight. I wish I could like it more. I just wanted to warn in case the mass thought the movie was my version and you will be disappointed.
And they put so much emphasis on the archery which really wasn't used to her potential and that disappointed me a lot. A lot. A lot.
HOWEVER, the graphics were amazing - all the hair in the movie (excluding Merida) was exquisite. So detailed and fine. I loved it.
AND, the jokes were really, really good. A lot of adult humor.
IN OTHER NEWS, a little more about yesterday:
I went to work and had to withstand a mantra of children's cries. They were just gaining sound to become almost deafening. Just like the Max Payne games on the PS2 where the baby is crying so loudly you probably had to turn down the television. I went home in the 90-degree weather. I have no air-conditioning in the car, so I was hot coming home. I had promised my sister this day and she was excited to eat dinner and see a movie. So, she was all ready when I got home all red-faced and sweaty. I got ready, sat on the couch a bit under a fan and then headed out, once more, in the midday heat. We went to the mall with busy, pushy people to look for a purse. It was hot in there too and the people just don't know how to fucking look before the turn around so they don't bump into you. Ack.
Then the small pounding in my head started.
I bought a purse that was finally cross-body. Of course, Fossil had one that was the epitome of what I want, but it was 80 bucks with the sale and the new me cannot afford to splurge like that anymore. Poor old me, quite literally.
We went out to eat. It was good, aside from the jock server who hardly showed up.
Then the movies. Here's the story:
My sister hates sitting beside people, well, kids. Kids usually hone in on her for some reason or another and she attracts them like a magnet. So, we chose the four seats to themselves. The one I had was probably the only broken seat in the theater. It reclined without being forced to. My sister asked if I wanted to move but I began to form this headache and the reclining worked for it UNTIL.... A mom, dad, and two sons decided to sit behind us. Of course the leggy mother wanted to sit behind my seat, and the dad at the end which is a poor choice since both boys had a big gulp. They had to use the bathroom twice, which I had to sit up in my seat and one grabbed my chair and pulled me backwards. Sounds funny but I was aggravated. Twice this happened, so that means four times in all of them coming and going. Then, in the last five minutes of the movie, my alarm clock for my birch control goes off and I hear the mom groan behind me. I was literally a snap away from saying, "I have an a alarm to control what comes out of my vagina so I don't have heathens."
I honestly forgot about it. That's why I set it, ha.
When Amanda and I left, however, Fallon was there and it was a nice surprise :)
But when my sister and I went to Stakz the headache was taking me over. Even light was getting harder to adjust to. By the time I reached home I was nauseous from the migraine. It was like a laser beam was disintegrating my brain with its little bee-buzzing sound. Ack. Took two excedrin. Helped for a couple of hours then it started to come back. I immediately went to sleep.
Amanda - And it was stiff-ling in there. Stiff-ling.
Me - Wait, do you mean, stifling?
Amanda - *blank look* What?
Me - That's not how you pronounce that?
Amanda - Geez, my entire life and no one has corrected me... My entire life.
Update on the reading list!
10. Burning Up Flint - Laurann Dohner
11. Melting Iron - Laurann Dohner
12. The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty - Anne Rice
13. Stealing Coal - Laurann Dohner
So, yeah, I am going to take a break on the erotica novels. Although, I don't know if I can make it through the last two books of the Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by Anne Rice. I was reading it and getting humiliated. See, modesty isn't dead... Just very unattractive.
I am now on The House of Tomorrow by Peter Bognanani. Very promising so far, if I liked music it features.
Saturday, June 16, 2012
I Love That Movie
I just finished watching god bless america with my sister. We tried to get dad to watch it, but he didn't seem interested. Anyway.
Best fucking movie of the year.
I don't want to talk about it because it's contradicting the movie's existence, but it was soothing. It was like putting my small fires out about today's culture - because we don't really have one aside from loud-mouthed, mean, dumbass people who get paid to act like animals.
I went to put up my equipment at the fitting room the other day.
A mother came out, holding her son's hand, who looked about 1, maybe 1.5.
She smiled at the father who was busy with a newborn, "Guess who was crawling under the stalls? Good thing it was mommy in there."
The Dad actually looks surprised and a bit aggravated, "Boy," he said while patting the newborn's back, "that's a misdemeanor."
High-five to that Dad.
New books to add to my list:
7. Ral's Woman - Laurann Dohner
8. The Vampire Armand - Anne Rice
(I e-mailed Kyle this, but the line needs to be shared with the world: So, I'm reading The Vampire Armand, and this dude who's drunk looks at Armand and tries to get him to have sex with him. This is what he says, "I'm too soft to make my sculpture. Let me drink it from you. Have mercy on the parched.")
9. Shotgun Gravy - Chuck Wendig
Cooking and cleaning more for Father's Day tomorrow. I dusted all the furniture with wood oil. It smells like a slice of Heaven.
I ate a burger today. Acne tomorrow.
I'm nearly 23-years-old, I shouldn't be having these problems.
So, I'm talking about acne, time to close up shop.
BALLROOM BLITZ.
Best fucking movie of the year.
I don't want to talk about it because it's contradicting the movie's existence, but it was soothing. It was like putting my small fires out about today's culture - because we don't really have one aside from loud-mouthed, mean, dumbass people who get paid to act like animals.
I went to put up my equipment at the fitting room the other day.
A mother came out, holding her son's hand, who looked about 1, maybe 1.5.
She smiled at the father who was busy with a newborn, "Guess who was crawling under the stalls? Good thing it was mommy in there."
The Dad actually looks surprised and a bit aggravated, "Boy," he said while patting the newborn's back, "that's a misdemeanor."
High-five to that Dad.
New books to add to my list:
7. Ral's Woman - Laurann Dohner
8. The Vampire Armand - Anne Rice
(I e-mailed Kyle this, but the line needs to be shared with the world: So, I'm reading The Vampire Armand, and this dude who's drunk looks at Armand and tries to get him to have sex with him. This is what he says, "I'm too soft to make my sculpture. Let me drink it from you. Have mercy on the parched.")
9. Shotgun Gravy - Chuck Wendig
Cooking and cleaning more for Father's Day tomorrow. I dusted all the furniture with wood oil. It smells like a slice of Heaven.
I ate a burger today. Acne tomorrow.
I'm nearly 23-years-old, I shouldn't be having these problems.
So, I'm talking about acne, time to close up shop.
BALLROOM BLITZ.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Oh fuck yes
I baby sat for the first time since the beginning of my life in the womb. Now, I know you guys know how awkward I am around kids, and if you don't then... I'm fucking awkward around kids. Todd's girl is 2-years-old. Potty trained. And a very good listener. That's right, Todd, I make her sound like a puppy.
Todd, you're my friend. If you find this distasteful I will, by all means, take it down and keep it for me, alone.
It started at 7:30PM with her having to poop. I'm like sure, I don't care, go do your business. But she's two, I need to remember this. She's only been on this earth for two years and for one year she was helpless as a legless and armless Homo sapien. She tells me to wait in the doorway.
"No, I'll wait in here. I can still see you."
"But I can't see you."
"No, you can." I was trying everything to not watch some small girl poo.
"No, come stand right here!" She leads me to the doorway to the small hallway that is less than three feet away from the bathroom. I oblige and grab a book off Alura's little library. I start to read it with my back turned and I hear her; a little while later she's done. She gets off. I tell her to wipe. She argues and I think, 'I am not looking for proof,' so she wins.
Five minutes later she has to do it again.
We have the same routine.
As I'm standing there and hear her, she suddenly giggles and says, "I made a tortilla!"
Only in my head do I ask, 'What the fuck is a tortilla? That doesn't make sense with a human's shit.'
She gets off and stands there looking at me with her shorts down. I ask, "What?"
"Wipe me."
"No, wipe yourself."
"No, you have to do it."
"No, you can do it."
She rips off one square of toilet paper and brings it to me, with her shorts still down. "Here, wipe me."
I take it, "No, little one, this isn't enough."
She then argues she's not a little girl. I tell her she's right, that she's a big girl.
I take her back to the bathroom where I get more toilet paper, an adequate amount for her toddler butt and say, "Here, stick this between your cheeks and move up."
She does so and then looks amazed that she had. I then tell her to put it in the toilet and flush, but not before I had a gander at her shit and wanted to puke. I am squeamish to poop for some reason, but not vomit. I am trying hard to not even show my signs of gagging but she's still holding the nasty toilet paper. I now understand the meaning of tortilla poop. I tell her to drop it, then I close the lid and flush. She does so. I tell her to pull up her pants and wash her hands.
"They're not pants."
"Oh, I'm sorry, shorts."
"I don't only have shorts on."
"And panties. Please pull up your shorts and panties before you go wash your hands."
She listens and then happily plays Break the Ice for the fiftieth time that night. I still had an hour a half to go.
Oh me. I asked my mother if I had done stuff like that. She said yes and I apologized. Sincerely apologized.
Other than that nothing much has happened nowadays. Finals week but it doesn't feel final -- maybe because my esteem ran out and I just don't give a shit anymore. Pun intended. I am worried over me studying French this summer.
I am going to copy Fallon and show you guys a list of things-to-do-during-the-summer:
1. STUDY THE FUCK OUT OF FRENCH.
2. Read until my eyes pop out. I think that's pretty fair. I read 14 books last summer - I want to break that record with this one.
3. Find an exercise that doesn't have my piriformis muscle rubbing against my sciatic nerve and causing me severe pains. It's real, google "Piriformis Syndrome."
4. Clean the entire house from top to bottom.
5. Finish Fallon's socks. (Which reminds me I have scarf pics to put up!)
6. Finish weaving in the ends of my sister's sweater.
That's it, nothing too big so I don't think too large and then feel really small when I don't finish anything.
Oh, watched a romantic movie (STFU I am on my period). It is called, The Ghost and Miss Muir. I liked it, for what it was. It was funny when the ghost said he had been with three women and Miss Muir was all like, "OH HOW FUCKING GROSS - BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF, SIR!" Ha. "Blasted" and "Blazes" were curse words. Took me forever to figure that out. I couldn't figure out why she continuously told him to stop with the cursing.
That's it, my little fuckers.
Until next time...
Todd, you're my friend. If you find this distasteful I will, by all means, take it down and keep it for me, alone.
It started at 7:30PM with her having to poop. I'm like sure, I don't care, go do your business. But she's two, I need to remember this. She's only been on this earth for two years and for one year she was helpless as a legless and armless Homo sapien. She tells me to wait in the doorway.
"No, I'll wait in here. I can still see you."
"But I can't see you."
"No, you can." I was trying everything to not watch some small girl poo.
"No, come stand right here!" She leads me to the doorway to the small hallway that is less than three feet away from the bathroom. I oblige and grab a book off Alura's little library. I start to read it with my back turned and I hear her; a little while later she's done. She gets off. I tell her to wipe. She argues and I think, 'I am not looking for proof,' so she wins.
Five minutes later she has to do it again.
We have the same routine.
As I'm standing there and hear her, she suddenly giggles and says, "I made a tortilla!"
Only in my head do I ask, 'What the fuck is a tortilla? That doesn't make sense with a human's shit.'
She gets off and stands there looking at me with her shorts down. I ask, "What?"
"Wipe me."
"No, wipe yourself."
"No, you have to do it."
"No, you can do it."
She rips off one square of toilet paper and brings it to me, with her shorts still down. "Here, wipe me."
I take it, "No, little one, this isn't enough."
She then argues she's not a little girl. I tell her she's right, that she's a big girl.
I take her back to the bathroom where I get more toilet paper, an adequate amount for her toddler butt and say, "Here, stick this between your cheeks and move up."
She does so and then looks amazed that she had. I then tell her to put it in the toilet and flush, but not before I had a gander at her shit and wanted to puke. I am squeamish to poop for some reason, but not vomit. I am trying hard to not even show my signs of gagging but she's still holding the nasty toilet paper. I now understand the meaning of tortilla poop. I tell her to drop it, then I close the lid and flush. She does so. I tell her to pull up her pants and wash her hands.
"They're not pants."
"Oh, I'm sorry, shorts."
"I don't only have shorts on."
"And panties. Please pull up your shorts and panties before you go wash your hands."
She listens and then happily plays Break the Ice for the fiftieth time that night. I still had an hour a half to go.
Oh me. I asked my mother if I had done stuff like that. She said yes and I apologized. Sincerely apologized.
Other than that nothing much has happened nowadays. Finals week but it doesn't feel final -- maybe because my esteem ran out and I just don't give a shit anymore. Pun intended. I am worried over me studying French this summer.
I am going to copy Fallon and show you guys a list of things-to-do-during-the-summer:
1. STUDY THE FUCK OUT OF FRENCH.
2. Read until my eyes pop out. I think that's pretty fair. I read 14 books last summer - I want to break that record with this one.
3. Find an exercise that doesn't have my piriformis muscle rubbing against my sciatic nerve and causing me severe pains. It's real, google "Piriformis Syndrome."
4. Clean the entire house from top to bottom.
5. Finish Fallon's socks. (Which reminds me I have scarf pics to put up!)
6. Finish weaving in the ends of my sister's sweater.
That's it, nothing too big so I don't think too large and then feel really small when I don't finish anything.
This one is rather old but it's been forever since I posted so I'm assuming it's never been shared. It's for Amanda. Look at my cat, ha. And my room is now COMPLETELY different.
Only took me a day and a half. Watch Jane Eyre (2011 version) while doing so.
I love this scarf. Sadly, I couldn't wear it since it was a warm winter last/this year. Took me forever to find the time to knit it. it's taller than I.
This is just fucking cute. My sister told me to look over and that was waiting for me.
Oh, watched a romantic movie (STFU I am on my period). It is called, The Ghost and Miss Muir. I liked it, for what it was. It was funny when the ghost said he had been with three women and Miss Muir was all like, "OH HOW FUCKING GROSS - BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF, SIR!" Ha. "Blasted" and "Blazes" were curse words. Took me forever to figure that out. I couldn't figure out why she continuously told him to stop with the cursing.
That's it, my little fuckers.
Until next time...
Friday, May 4, 2012
And then she's like...
So, a couple of days ago it was Target's 50th birthday. In the break room, our HR guy put up a giant Target-sent paper with a place to put your favorite memories of working at Target. On one of the tables there were boxes and albums of just pictures, hundreds upon hundreds, of events and just random days at Target. Well, Todd comes up to me and asks, "Hey, has it been you that's been putting up random pics of me?"
(His pics are hilarious because he was no receding hairline and looks ten years younger.)
"No, wasn't me, swear."
He gives be a disbelieving look, so I take him and show him the one picture that I did put up. It was of Scott Bath Tissue, haha. Then he and I were talking as he was looking through pictures. He shows me one of an old woman being strapped into an ambulance bed. Todd was like, "Haha, this is my favorite memory."
So, I tapped it up there.
When I went to take lunch my pictures were gone, haha. I believe they'll mention it in future huddles because once I made Marina a great team card that read, "To Marina for brightening up my dad :)" it was taken down later too and the HR guy said, "Guys, let's try to take great team recognition seriously."
When will people learn how much I give a shit?
Then we have a board for "Bad Hair Day" pics. Todd brought his. I don't know when it was taken, but it was hilarious - I'm voting for it. He had bushy, curly hair. I told him later that I was going to draw "GIANT NERD" with an arrow to his picture. I then told him he looked like Screech off "Saved by The Bell."
He replied, "I would love to see older pictures of you."
Me, "I just looked like a dyke - I'll own up to it."
Wow, I have nothing else.
Well, I can't get my hair to look not-fried whenever I straighten it. Hm. I may have to try different chemicals because it's making me angry.
I've taken up running again despite the protest in my lower nerve-endings in my back. They're screaming, "FUCK YOU!" However, I don't care. I miss running. I'm trying to get to running a mile and a half by August 27 - which I'm sure I could do it. I just want to before school so I could run inside their gym after classes. Two for one?
Been watching "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" while I run. I miss it. I know they tried resurrecting it recently and it sucked. So much. Do I sound like a teenager when I say things like that? I want to actually speak like a man who has a bar mustache in the 19th century.
"Cheerio, o' Chap."
(His pics are hilarious because he was no receding hairline and looks ten years younger.)
"No, wasn't me, swear."
He gives be a disbelieving look, so I take him and show him the one picture that I did put up. It was of Scott Bath Tissue, haha. Then he and I were talking as he was looking through pictures. He shows me one of an old woman being strapped into an ambulance bed. Todd was like, "Haha, this is my favorite memory."
So, I tapped it up there.
When I went to take lunch my pictures were gone, haha. I believe they'll mention it in future huddles because once I made Marina a great team card that read, "To Marina for brightening up my dad :)" it was taken down later too and the HR guy said, "Guys, let's try to take great team recognition seriously."
When will people learn how much I give a shit?
Then we have a board for "Bad Hair Day" pics. Todd brought his. I don't know when it was taken, but it was hilarious - I'm voting for it. He had bushy, curly hair. I told him later that I was going to draw "GIANT NERD" with an arrow to his picture. I then told him he looked like Screech off "Saved by The Bell."
He replied, "I would love to see older pictures of you."
Me, "I just looked like a dyke - I'll own up to it."
Wow, I have nothing else.
Well, I can't get my hair to look not-fried whenever I straighten it. Hm. I may have to try different chemicals because it's making me angry.
I've taken up running again despite the protest in my lower nerve-endings in my back. They're screaming, "FUCK YOU!" However, I don't care. I miss running. I'm trying to get to running a mile and a half by August 27 - which I'm sure I could do it. I just want to before school so I could run inside their gym after classes. Two for one?
Been watching "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" while I run. I miss it. I know they tried resurrecting it recently and it sucked. So much. Do I sound like a teenager when I say things like that? I want to actually speak like a man who has a bar mustache in the 19th century.
"Cheerio, o' Chap."
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Colors of the Rainbow
Kyle - ...I was driving around a golf course and a turtle was looking at me. His
little ovular head just straight up with his little glossy eyes just
checking out the road....
Me - I saw a turtle the other day. It was crossing the road. I wanted to save it, but traffic was heavy and he was on a hill. I would've died.
Kyle - If I see this turtle again, I'm naming him. Probably Raphael.
Me - You favor that ninja?
Kyle - Yeah, not only is he named after one of the most powerful archangels, his color is red and he uses sais. Great stuff. Just wish he wasn't a teenager. But I can look past that since he's a mutant turtle humanoid.
Me - I love that reasoning.
Kyle - He is very efficient with his fighting. He is quick, precise and very powerful. What's not to like about a turtle totin' some sais?
Me - Nothing. You're right. I am being stubborn.
Kyle - Well, I mean, if you go by colors, you may like a different turtle.
Me - No, red and green are my favorite. I would choose red over green.
Kyle - What about shredder? What's he got against mutated turtles and a mutated rat?
Me - I'm going to tell you something, I never watched Ninja Turtles - don't plan on it. Haha. I know they have famous painter names AND they're turtles. Oh, their master is a rat.
Somehow, that tickled his fancy.
I bought a shirt. It's okay to be jealous:
.JPG)
Me - I saw a turtle the other day. It was crossing the road. I wanted to save it, but traffic was heavy and he was on a hill. I would've died.
Kyle - If I see this turtle again, I'm naming him. Probably Raphael.
Me - You favor that ninja?
Kyle - Yeah, not only is he named after one of the most powerful archangels, his color is red and he uses sais. Great stuff. Just wish he wasn't a teenager. But I can look past that since he's a mutant turtle humanoid.
Me - I love that reasoning.
Kyle - He is very efficient with his fighting. He is quick, precise and very powerful. What's not to like about a turtle totin' some sais?
Me - Nothing. You're right. I am being stubborn.
Kyle - Well, I mean, if you go by colors, you may like a different turtle.
Me - No, red and green are my favorite. I would choose red over green.
Kyle - What about shredder? What's he got against mutated turtles and a mutated rat?
Me - I'm going to tell you something, I never watched Ninja Turtles - don't plan on it. Haha. I know they have famous painter names AND they're turtles. Oh, their master is a rat.
Somehow, that tickled his fancy.
I bought a shirt. It's okay to be jealous:
.JPG)
Why is this the only exciting thing to happen to me?
Sunday, April 8, 2012
That's Funny
(As I read over this I realized just how many typos/grammar mistakes I had. Try to spot them all yourself!)
I really should write down jokes as I hear them. I have the worst memory. Just today I put the cookies in the oven went to sit down and a couple minutes later I ask my mom if the stove was preheated. She said yes, so I went to go put the cookies in the over and they were already in there. I am fucking awesome.
I went to Todd's yesterday to hang out before the other two boys arrived. We watched Battle Royale. He fucking loved it, quote on quote.
There was this part where all the army went trotted to their trucks at once and I said, "Shotgun!" He didn't laugh and I felt unfunny. Dammit, I won't stand for it.
Anyway. Once the boys arrived, Todd introduced us to his neighbors apartment which had been cleared out. I was the last down the stairs and I turned off the light on the stair which I thought was the last one. I was wrong. I nearly broke my nose when I almost fell on my face. A big "OOOMMMPH" exited from me. Haaaaaa.
Anyway, Todd opened up to me about his marriage and I am very glad he did -- not that there's trouble in paradise, just how he can open up to me. I like to be approachable sometimes. Anyway, my lack of knowledge to the relationship pool is awful. I finally realized how unrequited with love I am. I need to get in the game, don't I?
Marina stopped on her way home from church to say hi. I was initially going to wait outside for her to wave as she passed, but she one-upped me. Ha, this reminds me when she and I were eating on campus the other day and I didn't "Not look at these girls she pointed at the right way." I told her, "Marina, you're best friends with a dorky white girl, gtfo it."
Ha.
She saw me in my "doing a 3,000 word research paper and I'm slouchy look." I'm surprised she didn't go blind.
Wrote another poem for class. We had to use "When the Clouds Break." I feel it's cliched for "when the clouds break" but it ended being that way. OH THE FUCK WELL, BITCHES.
I really should write down jokes as I hear them. I have the worst memory. Just today I put the cookies in the oven went to sit down and a couple minutes later I ask my mom if the stove was preheated. She said yes, so I went to go put the cookies in the over and they were already in there. I am fucking awesome.
I went to Todd's yesterday to hang out before the other two boys arrived. We watched Battle Royale. He fucking loved it, quote on quote.
There was this part where all the army went trotted to their trucks at once and I said, "Shotgun!" He didn't laugh and I felt unfunny. Dammit, I won't stand for it.
Anyway. Once the boys arrived, Todd introduced us to his neighbors apartment which had been cleared out. I was the last down the stairs and I turned off the light on the stair which I thought was the last one. I was wrong. I nearly broke my nose when I almost fell on my face. A big "OOOMMMPH" exited from me. Haaaaaa.
Anyway, Todd opened up to me about his marriage and I am very glad he did -- not that there's trouble in paradise, just how he can open up to me. I like to be approachable sometimes. Anyway, my lack of knowledge to the relationship pool is awful. I finally realized how unrequited with love I am. I need to get in the game, don't I?
Marina stopped on her way home from church to say hi. I was initially going to wait outside for her to wave as she passed, but she one-upped me. Ha, this reminds me when she and I were eating on campus the other day and I didn't "Not look at these girls she pointed at the right way." I told her, "Marina, you're best friends with a dorky white girl, gtfo it."
Ha.
She saw me in my "doing a 3,000 word research paper and I'm slouchy look." I'm surprised she didn't go blind.
Wrote another poem for class. We had to use "When the Clouds Break." I feel it's cliched for "when the clouds break" but it ended being that way. OH THE FUCK WELL, BITCHES.
When the Clouds Break
When the clouds break,
they have me in smiles
It’s the funny way
They have shapes:
Dinosaurs,
Food,
Faces,
Blobs
When the clouds break,
sometimes the mean ones
Dark and menacing,
Have the most to offer.
The more I smile
The grayer they become
When the clouds break, I
am finally able
To see the sky
The sun hidden,
Its rays like arms
Trying to push
The funny cloud away
When the clouds break,
there are shadows
Sliding under my feet
Slipping away behind me
Even with all the shapes
I find myself looking
down
When the clouds break,
there is clarity
Now and then the shapes
Glide above me
As if the clouds mimic
earth
Finding it just as funny
Sunday, October 10, 2010
why... a hamster in the ass?
I wish I wrote this down as soon as it happened, but, I was working.
So, we have this new guy, Trevor. He's buff. Like, arms the size of my head, buff. He's 6'4'' and has Andre the Giant voice. It's amazing.
Me, Alura, Chase and Tabitha were in infants with him. Somehow, hunting was brought up and I said it was a disgusting sport.
Trevor - How do you get that?
Me - Well, we have guns. If we had the same resources they do, then it wouldn't be so bad.
Trevor - Well, they have camouflage.
Me - Hardly.
Trevor - So, you're saying we need to be stripped down while we hunt?
Me - Uh, yes. Wouldn't it be something to see you running around naked in the woods?
And, that was taken as the total opposite of what I meant. Seriously. Hahaha. My face was so red I couldn't even look at any one until I cooled down, quite literally.
Then I told them that we could do natural cameo, like rolling in the mud, or something.
I went out for drinks with Tabitha after work.
Can we please hold the disgusted expressions. I was very responsible. I drunk one glass of water with lemon, had a salad and one and a half drinks. It was nice. We talked and talked. She isn't half bad, I think I like her.
Hold the phone, not that way, as a friend.
I'm so bored. SO bored.
Tried Black Cherry Rum and Coke.
Magnificent.
Drinking it now.
I love getting drunk and talking to friends on the phone. Sitting in the dark, drinking, talking, listening to music on shuffle. So peaceful, helps me relax. Anyone else? I'm also watching Ron White on Comedy Central. Well, it came on last night, but I recorded it and went to bed.
Love it.
He's hilarious. One of the few comedians that can make me laugh.
Him, Aaron (some british comedian), Graham Norton, Jeff Dunham, Zach Galifianakis and those are all that came to mind.
Wow. I'm hard to please, or easy, however you want to look at it.
After this is over, the show, I'm going to call Alex.
So, see-ya!
So, we have this new guy, Trevor. He's buff. Like, arms the size of my head, buff. He's 6'4'' and has Andre the Giant voice. It's amazing.
Me, Alura, Chase and Tabitha were in infants with him. Somehow, hunting was brought up and I said it was a disgusting sport.
Trevor - How do you get that?
Me - Well, we have guns. If we had the same resources they do, then it wouldn't be so bad.
Trevor - Well, they have camouflage.
Me - Hardly.
Trevor - So, you're saying we need to be stripped down while we hunt?
Me - Uh, yes. Wouldn't it be something to see you running around naked in the woods?
And, that was taken as the total opposite of what I meant. Seriously. Hahaha. My face was so red I couldn't even look at any one until I cooled down, quite literally.
Then I told them that we could do natural cameo, like rolling in the mud, or something.
I went out for drinks with Tabitha after work.
Can we please hold the disgusted expressions. I was very responsible. I drunk one glass of water with lemon, had a salad and one and a half drinks. It was nice. We talked and talked. She isn't half bad, I think I like her.
Hold the phone, not that way, as a friend.
I'm so bored. SO bored.
Tried Black Cherry Rum and Coke.
Magnificent.
Drinking it now.
I love getting drunk and talking to friends on the phone. Sitting in the dark, drinking, talking, listening to music on shuffle. So peaceful, helps me relax. Anyone else? I'm also watching Ron White on Comedy Central. Well, it came on last night, but I recorded it and went to bed.
Love it.
He's hilarious. One of the few comedians that can make me laugh.
Him, Aaron (some british comedian), Graham Norton, Jeff Dunham, Zach Galifianakis and those are all that came to mind.
Wow. I'm hard to please, or easy, however you want to look at it.
After this is over, the show, I'm going to call Alex.
So, see-ya!
Monday, September 13, 2010
Why aren't we funding this?!
Totally eventful day.
Got my new driver's license. It's all snazzy and sideways. Which is depressing because it means that I'm old. No, wait. It SIGNIFIES that I'm old and will never have those days back of naive nature. Or am I overdramatizing?
Second, went to Cricket's. Woke her ass up and made her mother jealous because Cricket isn't bitchy toward me, haha. I'm awesome.
That's right.
80s slang tonight, baby.
As we were motoring to Hobby Lobby (me driving), this car suddenly hit their breaks. Although I tried doing the same, I still bumped her car.
No damage. She still took my information, though. And I hers.
My first semi-wreck. Is that even in the category 'wreck' or 'pansy bumps'?
Bought water colors for whenever we 'hang out' again.
Then we went to Target and I bought her some fuzzy halloween socks I saw and immediately thought of her. Ha.
We then ate Chinese. Cricket received the worst fortune ever ('Please come to this restaurant again.')
I received two.
A woman then told us that she brought her father to have some Chinese when he was 80 (for the first time ever in his life). When he received his fortune, he didn't have one. He then asked his daughter if he didn't have a future. She told us two months later he died.
Wow, right?
Went back to her house and sat around and watched television.
I came home, because my throat has been bothering me ever since our last visit together. So, I sucked on this awful, taste like shit, lozenge because my mother made me or told me to stop 'bitching.'
I then sat around with them, in my pajamas, and watched television.
OH, I forgot to mention, one month ago today (exactly) I went to buy my first legal bottle of alcohol. The woman didn't card me.
What was even the point?
(TO GET WASTED!)
w/e. stfu.
ps - watched the season finale of True Blood. A minute each scene. I wish it hadn't gone by so quickly and made the last episode like two hours long.
Fuck them, right, for being lazy?
Got my new driver's license. It's all snazzy and sideways. Which is depressing because it means that I'm old. No, wait. It SIGNIFIES that I'm old and will never have those days back of naive nature. Or am I overdramatizing?
Second, went to Cricket's. Woke her ass up and made her mother jealous because Cricket isn't bitchy toward me, haha. I'm awesome.
That's right.
80s slang tonight, baby.
As we were motoring to Hobby Lobby (me driving), this car suddenly hit their breaks. Although I tried doing the same, I still bumped her car.
No damage. She still took my information, though. And I hers.
My first semi-wreck. Is that even in the category 'wreck' or 'pansy bumps'?
Bought water colors for whenever we 'hang out' again.
Then we went to Target and I bought her some fuzzy halloween socks I saw and immediately thought of her. Ha.
We then ate Chinese. Cricket received the worst fortune ever ('Please come to this restaurant again.')
I received two.
A woman then told us that she brought her father to have some Chinese when he was 80 (for the first time ever in his life). When he received his fortune, he didn't have one. He then asked his daughter if he didn't have a future. She told us two months later he died.
Wow, right?
Went back to her house and sat around and watched television.
I came home, because my throat has been bothering me ever since our last visit together. So, I sucked on this awful, taste like shit, lozenge because my mother made me or told me to stop 'bitching.'
I then sat around with them, in my pajamas, and watched television.
OH, I forgot to mention, one month ago today (exactly) I went to buy my first legal bottle of alcohol. The woman didn't card me.
What was even the point?
(TO GET WASTED!)
w/e. stfu.
ps - watched the season finale of True Blood. A minute each scene. I wish it hadn't gone by so quickly and made the last episode like two hours long.
Fuck them, right, for being lazy?
Saturday, July 10, 2010
ha, the carpet does match the drapes
Yesterday was nice.
Went to the movies with my sister to see 'Toy Story 3.'
If you liked 'Toy Story 1' then that movie would be the shit for you. However, since I'm a joyless person, I didn't really like TS3 and, therefore, will probably never watch it again.
This annoying, dirty family had to sit in front of us. Sucked. But the way they laughed and the little girl would make growling sounds sometimes was funny.
Afterward Amanda introduced me to a smoothie. IT WAS FANTASTIC. I drunk the shit out of it. Literally. Slurping it enough where I wouldn't get a freeze brain.
Wait, is that how it's said?
Anyway. I wanted to go up and down on the escalators so I led my sister to Macy's. In there, some old lady who worked there eyed me and my beloved smoothie. I was like, 'Bitch, whatever.'
So, I alone went up the escalator and up there was this table full of small trash cans and their boxes underneath. They were having a sale apparently. By the time I reached the top I was finished with my smoothie. Seeing a regular, o', found in every store and corner of the mall, trash can I stick it in there.
Not realizing, mind you, that it was only a demo for people who wanted to purchase the trash cans.
So, I just threw away my smoothie in some fake trash can.
Hilarity!
Went to get my sister an icee.
Went to Crafty Hands.
Went home.
Productive.
Went to the movies with my sister to see 'Toy Story 3.'
If you liked 'Toy Story 1' then that movie would be the shit for you. However, since I'm a joyless person, I didn't really like TS3 and, therefore, will probably never watch it again.
This annoying, dirty family had to sit in front of us. Sucked. But the way they laughed and the little girl would make growling sounds sometimes was funny.
Afterward Amanda introduced me to a smoothie. IT WAS FANTASTIC. I drunk the shit out of it. Literally. Slurping it enough where I wouldn't get a freeze brain.
Wait, is that how it's said?
Anyway. I wanted to go up and down on the escalators so I led my sister to Macy's. In there, some old lady who worked there eyed me and my beloved smoothie. I was like, 'Bitch, whatever.'
So, I alone went up the escalator and up there was this table full of small trash cans and their boxes underneath. They were having a sale apparently. By the time I reached the top I was finished with my smoothie. Seeing a regular, o', found in every store and corner of the mall, trash can I stick it in there.
Not realizing, mind you, that it was only a demo for people who wanted to purchase the trash cans.
So, I just threw away my smoothie in some fake trash can.
Hilarity!
Went to get my sister an icee.
Went to Crafty Hands.
Went home.
Productive.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
ha jewsville
Me and Cricket kicked it yesterday night/early this morning. Awesome time.
We watched Sailor Moon and wondered why we even liked it as children. But it was the best to watch. The pixie boy, the piper boy, the annoying voices, the colors, the 'that's what she said,' the copying Japanese, the skipping each chapter and saying, 'Now this is what's happening.'
Good times.
Loved it.
It was a lot of fun.
Cricket - it's only half a bowl, I'll have to go get more.
Me - Okay.
Cricket - *gets up, leaves the little picture container.*
Me - *continues watching Sailor Moon* I have to be functional.
Cricket - You want more?
Me - YES! This is awesome.
*a long moment passes*
Cricket - *looks very aggravated and nearly stomping through her room* He was afraid I would drop it... *snatches the picture container and leaves*
Me - hahaha!
Oh yeah, I wanted to eat the little monsters - I thought they would taste like blueberries.
OH YEAH, we have a game now.
Take hits whenever you see something PHYSICALLY impossible while watching Bible Black.
We watched Sailor Moon and wondered why we even liked it as children. But it was the best to watch. The pixie boy, the piper boy, the annoying voices, the colors, the 'that's what she said,' the copying Japanese, the skipping each chapter and saying, 'Now this is what's happening.'
Good times.
Loved it.
It was a lot of fun.
Cricket - it's only half a bowl, I'll have to go get more.
Me - Okay.
Cricket - *gets up, leaves the little picture container.*
Me - *continues watching Sailor Moon* I have to be functional.
Cricket - You want more?
Me - YES! This is awesome.
*a long moment passes*
Cricket - *looks very aggravated and nearly stomping through her room* He was afraid I would drop it... *snatches the picture container and leaves*
Me - hahaha!
Oh yeah, I wanted to eat the little monsters - I thought they would taste like blueberries.
OH YEAH, we have a game now.
Take hits whenever you see something PHYSICALLY impossible while watching Bible Black.
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