Okay, so, I'm going to bed soon, I'm just waiting on my porn to finish downloading.
But, as I am waiting, I was poking around in my external HD. It's amazing. I found the old recordings of me and Cricket.
A couple of good ones.
I found one where me and Cricket were listening to the Pimsleur. We did that for a good five minutes. Repeating and learning.
Eigo.
Sumimasen.
Then another one where her mother was going to drive us to Hardee's.
Cricket had to put on pants (pajama freak). I was putting on my shoes and I look up to see her just putting on her pants OVER her pajama bottoms.
Me - What're you doing? Are you going to stay warm like that? Or are you just doing that because you're on your period and don't want to change in front of me?
*moment of silence*
Cricket - I forgot I had them on, sorry.
*laughter from me*
She starts to take them off and I look away through the entire situation.
Cricket - Why did you look away?
Me - I figured you didn't want me to look.
Cricket - Why aren't you looking at my vagina? *moment of silence* So?
Me - Okay.
Showing posts with label cricket. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cricket. Show all posts
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
the scenes are so graphic, IIIII can't even read them.
Watching American Psycho. Makes me think of the novel.
Love them both.
(But the novel is my favorite.)
Working on a new layout, too.
DEFINITELY still in the works.
Okay, the entire reason of this entry is because my sister told me a funny conversation and I had to post how proud of it I am:
Amanda - So, me and Tori were talking about my story and I told her than Kenny was the reason for ANYTHING. Roy interrupted and was like, "So, what's his reason for the sun coming up?"
I said, "He decided it was time for the whore to get out of his bed."
I love that girl.
I have a good one, too, but I would have to say it in person because I have to do the stance and everything.
It's about that damn Disney movie Camp Rock and some awful woman at work.
If you know me, ask me, I will be HAPPY to regale this.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRICKET
LOOOOOOVE.
Monday.
Now, I'm going to go to bed early. Resting my voice. Discovered I had laryngitis. It fucking sucks.
I miss singing, talking.
I never noticed how many conversations I had with myself a day until it hurt to talk. Tuesday, I had no voice. Interesting but lonely :(
DAMMIT, I WANT TO SING TO JOURNEY. AND/OR QUEEN.
Don't you dare judge me.
Love them both.
(But the novel is my favorite.)
Working on a new layout, too.
DEFINITELY still in the works.
Okay, the entire reason of this entry is because my sister told me a funny conversation and I had to post how proud of it I am:
Amanda - So, me and Tori were talking about my story and I told her than Kenny was the reason for ANYTHING. Roy interrupted and was like, "So, what's his reason for the sun coming up?"
I said, "He decided it was time for the whore to get out of his bed."
I love that girl.
I have a good one, too, but I would have to say it in person because I have to do the stance and everything.
It's about that damn Disney movie Camp Rock and some awful woman at work.
If you know me, ask me, I will be HAPPY to regale this.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRICKET
LOOOOOOVE.
Monday.
Now, I'm going to go to bed early. Resting my voice. Discovered I had laryngitis. It fucking sucks.
I miss singing, talking.
I never noticed how many conversations I had with myself a day until it hurt to talk. Tuesday, I had no voice. Interesting but lonely :(
DAMMIT, I WANT TO SING TO JOURNEY. AND/OR QUEEN.
Don't you dare judge me.
Monday, September 13, 2010
Why aren't we funding this?!
Totally eventful day.
Got my new driver's license. It's all snazzy and sideways. Which is depressing because it means that I'm old. No, wait. It SIGNIFIES that I'm old and will never have those days back of naive nature. Or am I overdramatizing?
Second, went to Cricket's. Woke her ass up and made her mother jealous because Cricket isn't bitchy toward me, haha. I'm awesome.
That's right.
80s slang tonight, baby.
As we were motoring to Hobby Lobby (me driving), this car suddenly hit their breaks. Although I tried doing the same, I still bumped her car.
No damage. She still took my information, though. And I hers.
My first semi-wreck. Is that even in the category 'wreck' or 'pansy bumps'?
Bought water colors for whenever we 'hang out' again.
Then we went to Target and I bought her some fuzzy halloween socks I saw and immediately thought of her. Ha.
We then ate Chinese. Cricket received the worst fortune ever ('Please come to this restaurant again.')
I received two.
A woman then told us that she brought her father to have some Chinese when he was 80 (for the first time ever in his life). When he received his fortune, he didn't have one. He then asked his daughter if he didn't have a future. She told us two months later he died.
Wow, right?
Went back to her house and sat around and watched television.
I came home, because my throat has been bothering me ever since our last visit together. So, I sucked on this awful, taste like shit, lozenge because my mother made me or told me to stop 'bitching.'
I then sat around with them, in my pajamas, and watched television.
OH, I forgot to mention, one month ago today (exactly) I went to buy my first legal bottle of alcohol. The woman didn't card me.
What was even the point?
(TO GET WASTED!)
w/e. stfu.
ps - watched the season finale of True Blood. A minute each scene. I wish it hadn't gone by so quickly and made the last episode like two hours long.
Fuck them, right, for being lazy?
Got my new driver's license. It's all snazzy and sideways. Which is depressing because it means that I'm old. No, wait. It SIGNIFIES that I'm old and will never have those days back of naive nature. Or am I overdramatizing?
Second, went to Cricket's. Woke her ass up and made her mother jealous because Cricket isn't bitchy toward me, haha. I'm awesome.
That's right.
80s slang tonight, baby.
As we were motoring to Hobby Lobby (me driving), this car suddenly hit their breaks. Although I tried doing the same, I still bumped her car.
No damage. She still took my information, though. And I hers.
My first semi-wreck. Is that even in the category 'wreck' or 'pansy bumps'?
Bought water colors for whenever we 'hang out' again.
Then we went to Target and I bought her some fuzzy halloween socks I saw and immediately thought of her. Ha.
We then ate Chinese. Cricket received the worst fortune ever ('Please come to this restaurant again.')
I received two.
A woman then told us that she brought her father to have some Chinese when he was 80 (for the first time ever in his life). When he received his fortune, he didn't have one. He then asked his daughter if he didn't have a future. She told us two months later he died.
Wow, right?
Went back to her house and sat around and watched television.
I came home, because my throat has been bothering me ever since our last visit together. So, I sucked on this awful, taste like shit, lozenge because my mother made me or told me to stop 'bitching.'
I then sat around with them, in my pajamas, and watched television.
OH, I forgot to mention, one month ago today (exactly) I went to buy my first legal bottle of alcohol. The woman didn't card me.
What was even the point?
(TO GET WASTED!)
w/e. stfu.
ps - watched the season finale of True Blood. A minute each scene. I wish it hadn't gone by so quickly and made the last episode like two hours long.
Fuck them, right, for being lazy?
Saturday, September 11, 2010
it's okay to say oops?
I'm not wearing a bra and I feel like, maybe, that was a bad idea. I feel 80 and how nothing will stay in place and has a mind of its own.
Tmi?
I painted a pretty picture.
No one laugh.
I like painting/drawing... I just SUCK at it. I'm just going to stick to writing.
SO. Cricket and I hung out yesterday night. It was nice.
She stole my phone and again and took pictures (per usual).
Isn't she beautiful? The things I would do.
Maybe that's the booze talking.
Haha.
Naw.
Just block my face from your mind. Those clothes? Everything I had was dirty, stfu.
Experienced my first road block yesterday night.
They didn't even ask if I had been drinking. Why wasn't there a reason I wasn't? I wasn't, but it's the point.
A few weeks ago, a woman brought her "service monkey" in. She said it was a service animal and I wanted to ask, "What is that monkey possibly servicing?"
Marina snapped that.
I got really tipsy a week or so ago, and took pics with my mannequin... Or, "my torso" (Cricket calls it).
Hehe, that one is my favourite.
OH OH OH.
I have conversations from last night. Hold on, I have to write them down.
Me - Yeah, my mother asks me about once a week, "heather, are you a lesbian?"
Tina - Well, are you?
Me - *offended face*
Tina - It's okay. Just tell me, are you?
Me - *offended face over to Cricket; she shrugs*
Tina - Hey, at one point I had to ask Cricket because she wasn't dating any boys.
Me - *drops offended face* That's because boys are boring and have no personality.
Tina - It's okay, Ichi, I understand.
Then we started reading random things from the guide as her father flipped through channels.
"I wanna relieve my foot pain!"
Then we started talking about hamsters. Because Zak killed one, squeezed it too hard.
Someone I can't Hear - Go play with a hamster.
Me - No. Then I can get hamster rabies. Then I turn into Hamstergirl.
Cricket & Tina - *laugh*
Me - What would my powers be?
Cricket - You could stuff a lot of stuff into your cheeks.
Me - I can run really fast!
Cricket - you could claw through almost anything.
Tina - You could bite through things---
Cricket - Yeah, you could bite through almost anything. You'd have gigantic buckteeth.
Me - I would have the cute factor to level ten.
Cricket - You would have the whiskers. You would have the ability to know if your entire body would fit through something by, you know, the whiskers.
Me - But what could I shoot out through my wrists?
Tina - Nothing.
Me - Awwwwww.
Cricket - Poop!
Tina - Little pellet poop.
Me - Oooh, nasty. I wouldn't go there, ever.
Tina - You could bend over and be like, "Pow pow pow!"
Cricket - You'd be able to eat almost anything. You would have a fascination with wheels.
Me - I could have some fun with that.
Cricket - It would be really easy to entertain yourself.
I love her. Cricket I mean, not Tina, haha.
But, isn't she cute? She realllllly got into that.
LOOOOOOOVVVEEEEE.
Tmi?
I painted a pretty picture.
No one laugh.
I like painting/drawing... I just SUCK at it. I'm just going to stick to writing.
SO. Cricket and I hung out yesterday night. It was nice.
She stole my phone and again and took pictures (per usual).
Isn't she beautiful? The things I would do.
Maybe that's the booze talking.
Haha.
Naw.
Just block my face from your mind. Those clothes? Everything I had was dirty, stfu.
Experienced my first road block yesterday night.
They didn't even ask if I had been drinking. Why wasn't there a reason I wasn't? I wasn't, but it's the point.
A few weeks ago, a woman brought her "service monkey" in. She said it was a service animal and I wanted to ask, "What is that monkey possibly servicing?"
Marina snapped that.
I got really tipsy a week or so ago, and took pics with my mannequin... Or, "my torso" (Cricket calls it).
Hehe, that one is my favourite.
OH OH OH.
I have conversations from last night. Hold on, I have to write them down.
Me - Yeah, my mother asks me about once a week, "heather, are you a lesbian?"
Tina - Well, are you?
Me - *offended face*
Tina - It's okay. Just tell me, are you?
Me - *offended face over to Cricket; she shrugs*
Tina - Hey, at one point I had to ask Cricket because she wasn't dating any boys.
Me - *drops offended face* That's because boys are boring and have no personality.
Tina - It's okay, Ichi, I understand.
Then we started reading random things from the guide as her father flipped through channels.
"I wanna relieve my foot pain!"
Then we started talking about hamsters. Because Zak killed one, squeezed it too hard.
Someone I can't Hear - Go play with a hamster.
Me - No. Then I can get hamster rabies. Then I turn into Hamstergirl.
Cricket & Tina - *laugh*
Me - What would my powers be?
Cricket - You could stuff a lot of stuff into your cheeks.
Me - I can run really fast!
Cricket - you could claw through almost anything.
Tina - You could bite through things---
Cricket - Yeah, you could bite through almost anything. You'd have gigantic buckteeth.
Me - I would have the cute factor to level ten.
Cricket - You would have the whiskers. You would have the ability to know if your entire body would fit through something by, you know, the whiskers.
Me - But what could I shoot out through my wrists?
Tina - Nothing.
Me - Awwwwww.
Cricket - Poop!
Tina - Little pellet poop.
Me - Oooh, nasty. I wouldn't go there, ever.
Tina - You could bend over and be like, "Pow pow pow!"
Cricket - You'd be able to eat almost anything. You would have a fascination with wheels.
Me - I could have some fun with that.
Cricket - It would be really easy to entertain yourself.
I love her. Cricket I mean, not Tina, haha.
But, isn't she cute? She realllllly got into that.
LOOOOOOOVVVEEEEE.
Sunday, September 5, 2010
good-bye, good-bye, goodbye... no, not that.
I'm just quoting a song. Yeah.
I'm nearly drunk.
I'm a beer away, I guess. I'm too drunk to close my eyes, extend my arms and touch my nose. Haha. I love doing it.
Okay, it has yet to be a month since I turned 21-years-old and this is a list (I compiled of all I consumed, by bottles):
3x Burnett's Cherry Vodka
3x Oliver Red Wine
12x Beers (Heineken and Michelob)
1x Green Apple Smirnoff
1x Red Wine I can't remember/pronounce
1 glass of red wine at Olive Garden
That's all in three weeks. I don't have a problem. My only problem is turning 21 and wanting to experience shit.
Am I rite or am I rite?
(When I misspell it's my gansta speech.)
Discovered Mickey Avalon.
Amazing.
Perverted but amazing.
I love Cricket but she doesn't love me and proves it by ignoring me.
Life sucks.
I want her to love me, but something I do just doesn't sit right with her. What is it? PLEASE, SOMEONE EXPLAIN.
I think about it every day and never understand--never come to a conclusion.
OSHIT. NOTORIOUS SHUFFLED ON.
Let's ride, get high, get high, get high, let's ride, let's ride.
Work remains the same.
Susan barely crammed her body into what looked like an oversized wheelbarrow before the thing chasing her sniffed the air for her scent. She held her breath, gagging, sweat pouring from every pore of her body. Her legs twitched and ached in their awkward position. Her head pounded from a migraine. Her body begged for release and all she could really think about was what was still five feet away from her, maybe, maybe less.
Footsteps, silence.
Crickets and wind.
Anonymous scream.
The girl released some of the air pressure - with it, vomit. Ziploc lips, the vomit pressed tightly upon them. Susan squeezed her eyes shut, reminding herself of the monsters. If she let it out, they, it would smell her. Discover her stuffed into some wheelbarrow with mice gnawing at her shoe and something crawling in her tangled hair.
Susan wanted to moan. Every atom of her being moaned and she wanted to release what she felt.
The anxiety.
The fright.
The thought of being twenty-years-old and dead.
She wanted to be at the party still. Drunk. Couldn’t even remember her own name. Now, her party clothes were torn, soiled and one of her brand-name shoes lost somewhere outside of her safe spot.
Susan wanted to cry, but it would give away her position.
For one brief moment she stared at the night sky and not at limitless space, vomit swishing her mouth-the taste of alcohol and rotten eggs. Susan appreciated it and wondered what constellation was which prior to noticing how still the night had gotten and the wind, there wasn’t one. The crickets, none of them played.
She wanted to ask what was there, but despite her quietness and the will to stop her body in all its endeavors to cope, Susan noticed a pair of gray hands gripping the side. When she opened her mouth to scream, the head popped over the side and smiled.
Susan, before the monster aimed for her throat, chocked to death on her vomit.
I'm nearly drunk.
I'm a beer away, I guess. I'm too drunk to close my eyes, extend my arms and touch my nose. Haha. I love doing it.
Okay, it has yet to be a month since I turned 21-years-old and this is a list (I compiled of all I consumed, by bottles):
3x Burnett's Cherry Vodka
3x Oliver Red Wine
12x Beers (Heineken and Michelob)
1x Green Apple Smirnoff
1x Red Wine I can't remember/pronounce
1 glass of red wine at Olive Garden
That's all in three weeks. I don't have a problem. My only problem is turning 21 and wanting to experience shit.
Am I rite or am I rite?
(When I misspell it's my gansta speech.)
Discovered Mickey Avalon.
Amazing.
Perverted but amazing.
I love Cricket but she doesn't love me and proves it by ignoring me.
Life sucks.
I want her to love me, but something I do just doesn't sit right with her. What is it? PLEASE, SOMEONE EXPLAIN.
I think about it every day and never understand--never come to a conclusion.
OSHIT. NOTORIOUS SHUFFLED ON.
Let's ride, get high, get high, get high, let's ride, let's ride.
Work remains the same.
Susan barely crammed her body into what looked like an oversized wheelbarrow before the thing chasing her sniffed the air for her scent. She held her breath, gagging, sweat pouring from every pore of her body. Her legs twitched and ached in their awkward position. Her head pounded from a migraine. Her body begged for release and all she could really think about was what was still five feet away from her, maybe, maybe less.
Footsteps, silence.
Crickets and wind.
Anonymous scream.
The girl released some of the air pressure - with it, vomit. Ziploc lips, the vomit pressed tightly upon them. Susan squeezed her eyes shut, reminding herself of the monsters. If she let it out, they, it would smell her. Discover her stuffed into some wheelbarrow with mice gnawing at her shoe and something crawling in her tangled hair.
Susan wanted to moan. Every atom of her being moaned and she wanted to release what she felt.
The anxiety.
The fright.
The thought of being twenty-years-old and dead.
She wanted to be at the party still. Drunk. Couldn’t even remember her own name. Now, her party clothes were torn, soiled and one of her brand-name shoes lost somewhere outside of her safe spot.
Susan wanted to cry, but it would give away her position.
For one brief moment she stared at the night sky and not at limitless space, vomit swishing her mouth-the taste of alcohol and rotten eggs. Susan appreciated it and wondered what constellation was which prior to noticing how still the night had gotten and the wind, there wasn’t one. The crickets, none of them played.
She wanted to ask what was there, but despite her quietness and the will to stop her body in all its endeavors to cope, Susan noticed a pair of gray hands gripping the side. When she opened her mouth to scream, the head popped over the side and smiled.
Susan, before the monster aimed for her throat, chocked to death on her vomit.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
ha jewsville
Me and Cricket kicked it yesterday night/early this morning. Awesome time.
We watched Sailor Moon and wondered why we even liked it as children. But it was the best to watch. The pixie boy, the piper boy, the annoying voices, the colors, the 'that's what she said,' the copying Japanese, the skipping each chapter and saying, 'Now this is what's happening.'
Good times.
Loved it.
It was a lot of fun.
Cricket - it's only half a bowl, I'll have to go get more.
Me - Okay.
Cricket - *gets up, leaves the little picture container.*
Me - *continues watching Sailor Moon* I have to be functional.
Cricket - You want more?
Me - YES! This is awesome.
*a long moment passes*
Cricket - *looks very aggravated and nearly stomping through her room* He was afraid I would drop it... *snatches the picture container and leaves*
Me - hahaha!
Oh yeah, I wanted to eat the little monsters - I thought they would taste like blueberries.
OH YEAH, we have a game now.
Take hits whenever you see something PHYSICALLY impossible while watching Bible Black.
We watched Sailor Moon and wondered why we even liked it as children. But it was the best to watch. The pixie boy, the piper boy, the annoying voices, the colors, the 'that's what she said,' the copying Japanese, the skipping each chapter and saying, 'Now this is what's happening.'
Good times.
Loved it.
It was a lot of fun.
Cricket - it's only half a bowl, I'll have to go get more.
Me - Okay.
Cricket - *gets up, leaves the little picture container.*
Me - *continues watching Sailor Moon* I have to be functional.
Cricket - You want more?
Me - YES! This is awesome.
*a long moment passes*
Cricket - *looks very aggravated and nearly stomping through her room* He was afraid I would drop it... *snatches the picture container and leaves*
Me - hahaha!
Oh yeah, I wanted to eat the little monsters - I thought they would taste like blueberries.
OH YEAH, we have a game now.
Take hits whenever you see something PHYSICALLY impossible while watching Bible Black.
Sunday, June 27, 2010
i almost yawned myself in a coma
The Karate Kid.
Holy shit, what a piece of something another.
Total crap.
That movie was only made to draw tourists to China and place random songs that have NOTHING to do with the movie. Let me lay out the (most random songs from the) soundtrack for you.
Lady GaGa - Poker Face
AC/DC - Back in Black
Flo Rida - Low
John Mayer - Say
Random, right? Those songs were placed to make money, too. Especially AC/DC... They have been so desperate recently. Anyone else notice?
Not only was the movie a waste of my time, it barely had any action scenes. Only the last twenty minutes had any interesting action. That movie is TWO HOURS and twenty minutes, fyi.
The only way I could recommend that movie is for a person who likes to see Chinese boys wrestle and get all sweaty... OH, don't forget to make angry faces at each other.
SAY WHAT.
Last night/REALLY early this morning I kicked it with Marina after work.
We had something to eat, we went to Walmart and hung out downtown sharing and shit.
While we were eating in the Southern Lanes parking lot, again, that same guy who was yelling "WOW THAT'S A LOW PRICE!" with me and Cricket, started yelling obscenities to people. haha. He had already been through the parking lot once since we had been there. They would make a circle around the block before coming back. They noticed us and yelled something. I wanted to ignore them because, well, they were a problem waiting to cause something.
Once they yelled something at us, Marina immediately stuck her head out the window and screamed, "COME AND GET IT" or something to that affect.
I was stunned.
They yelled, "FUCK YOU!"
And she yelled back, "GO TO HELL!"
I'm sitting there making :O! face.
I go to start my car after they leave and are not in my site. She asked what I was doing. I explained they were going to come back and I'm in my car. I would have to leave now so they won't follow me.
She seems surprised I'm having this reaction and keeps exclaiming to stay because they're not coming back.
Fuck that.
We left.
I was not going to talk to, and be stuck in the middle with, some guys who were obviously not sober.
At downtown there was this obviously drunk guy walking around being followed by someone who looked old enough to be his mother.
She kept wanting to give him a ride.
Ha.
So, it was fun.
Oh, remember those hookah lounge pics I mentioned? MARINA FINALLY POSTED THEM :)
I looked trashed. I was completely sober.
Oh, earlier, I tried to take a pic of my new afghan I'm knitting, but Molly walked in....
AWWWWWWWWWW. Makes me laugh.
ps - this HUGE ASS fly is in my room. It keeps flying into my cat's face. Cat = getting pretty pissed.
Holy shit, what a piece of something another.
Total crap.
That movie was only made to draw tourists to China and place random songs that have NOTHING to do with the movie. Let me lay out the (most random songs from the) soundtrack for you.
Lady GaGa - Poker Face
AC/DC - Back in Black
Flo Rida - Low
John Mayer - Say
Random, right? Those songs were placed to make money, too. Especially AC/DC... They have been so desperate recently. Anyone else notice?
Not only was the movie a waste of my time, it barely had any action scenes. Only the last twenty minutes had any interesting action. That movie is TWO HOURS and twenty minutes, fyi.
The only way I could recommend that movie is for a person who likes to see Chinese boys wrestle and get all sweaty... OH, don't forget to make angry faces at each other.
SAY WHAT.
Last night/REALLY early this morning I kicked it with Marina after work.
We had something to eat, we went to Walmart and hung out downtown sharing and shit.
While we were eating in the Southern Lanes parking lot, again, that same guy who was yelling "WOW THAT'S A LOW PRICE!" with me and Cricket, started yelling obscenities to people. haha. He had already been through the parking lot once since we had been there. They would make a circle around the block before coming back. They noticed us and yelled something. I wanted to ignore them because, well, they were a problem waiting to cause something.
Once they yelled something at us, Marina immediately stuck her head out the window and screamed, "COME AND GET IT" or something to that affect.
I was stunned.
They yelled, "FUCK YOU!"
And she yelled back, "GO TO HELL!"
I'm sitting there making :O! face.
I go to start my car after they leave and are not in my site. She asked what I was doing. I explained they were going to come back and I'm in my car. I would have to leave now so they won't follow me.
She seems surprised I'm having this reaction and keeps exclaiming to stay because they're not coming back.
Fuck that.
We left.
I was not going to talk to, and be stuck in the middle with, some guys who were obviously not sober.
At downtown there was this obviously drunk guy walking around being followed by someone who looked old enough to be his mother.
She kept wanting to give him a ride.
Ha.
So, it was fun.
Oh, remember those hookah lounge pics I mentioned? MARINA FINALLY POSTED THEM :)
I looked trashed. I was completely sober.
Oh, earlier, I tried to take a pic of my new afghan I'm knitting, but Molly walked in....
AWWWWWWWWWW. Makes me laugh.
ps - this HUGE ASS fly is in my room. It keeps flying into my cat's face. Cat = getting pretty pissed.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
you can still hear me
Marina, Cricket and I all went to the Hookah Lounge.
Amazing.
We all had a good time and the only white guy who works there liked my purse.
I'll have more pics of us later on when I get them from Marina. In one of them, when I was positioning myself, I nearly knocked over the hookah. Marina, you screamed like a little bitch. That white guy looked over so quickly, haha.
OH MY OH MY.
Legion is one HORRIBLE movie. The only good part had to be the father and son duo. ('But Pa, I'm only retarded a little.')
That movie is possibly the worst of 2009 or whenever it fucking came out. Who in the hell thought they would make money off it? Honestly?
Cricket - I met ichi's friend today.
Me - Marina.
Cricket - Oh, I was wanting to call her Marena or something like that so I didn't.
Me - You should. Even after she corrects you just keep doing it.
(*this is just a reminder... I still want you to do that.)
Then I was getting aggravated because everyone had their own lighter and I'm not used to it so I kept trying to hand it over. Haha. Then I was raving about a system I had and how I loved that I didn't have to move my elbow on my knee. Just afterward I started drumming on my thighs. For a good two minutes, doing little tunes.
*Cricket turns to her computer to turn on Tom Petty*
Me - Press T. Just press T.
Cricket - *still going through her music*
Me - Press T. Just PRESS T.
Cricket - *presses a button that I can't see and Tom Petty starts to play*
Me - *shuts up* Did you press T?
Cricket - Nope.
Me - Why didn't you press T?
Learned that I had sung 'still doll' to them in the car one day. Don't remember that shit, but wow.
If you don't know what that is, here's a youtube link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWUxZ7LIUss
WE COLORED.
Cricket's
(click on me to be bigger!)
ichi's
(click on me to be bigger!)
ps -
http://tinypic.com/m/aooodh/2
hehehehehehe
Monday, June 21, 2010
i had my music on to begin with.
Everyone have a good father's day?
I had to work. Came home, ate dinner with the family. Napped. Hung out with Cricket.
No influence of drugs and it was still really fun.
The watermelon, the making ramen in the mini-pot.
The whole bringing up memories I had forgotten about.
Good times.
Some of them stupid as shit.
FUCK.
YESTERDAY WAS MY 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY FOR THIS BLOG.
How could I forget?
I'm not going to do a recap of the year because I'm lazy, but shit.
Hm.
LIFE IS DE BUBBLES, UNDER DA SEA.
The other night, not last, there was this kitten in the road. I didn't realize it until I drove over it... NO, I didn't run over it and murder the poor thing, but I made sure it was safely under my car as I passed it.
It looked fucking freaked.
Hilarious and sad at the same time.
I had to work. Came home, ate dinner with the family. Napped. Hung out with Cricket.
No influence of drugs and it was still really fun.
The watermelon, the making ramen in the mini-pot.
The whole bringing up memories I had forgotten about.
Good times.
Some of them stupid as shit.
FUCK.
YESTERDAY WAS MY 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY FOR THIS BLOG.
How could I forget?
I'm not going to do a recap of the year because I'm lazy, but shit.
Hm.
LIFE IS DE BUBBLES, UNDER DA SEA.
The other night, not last, there was this kitten in the road. I didn't realize it until I drove over it... NO, I didn't run over it and murder the poor thing, but I made sure it was safely under my car as I passed it.
It looked fucking freaked.
Hilarious and sad at the same time.
Friday, June 18, 2010
that shit is gayer than i am.
Yesterday/early this morning was somewhat productive.
Met up with Cricket. I don't know how to describe it. It was weird. Like nothing has changed in the past several months we didn't speak. I don't know if that's a good thing or not? I still feel as if nothing will be the same as it used to be back in the day when I was jobless. Not saying I was thinking it would be, but there was that small chance of hope.
There isn't that trust or that strong 'i want to be around her' feeling. For me, I don't think for her?
Cricket, I know you're reading this, haha.
Plus I spilled my guts out and all I can do now is act awkward, because awkward is my middle name.
(That's taken from a story of mine.... "You know the one, she's practically orgasming under my magic flageelees and, all of the sudden, weird's her middle name. I ask the number one ...." Yeah, that one.)
ANYWAY.
I had been sitting in a southern lanes parking lot, eating, watching people, ya know. I was waiting for Cricket to be off work so we could hang out wherever. She manages to get off early. I end up waiting an hour in the parking lot, by myself, ha. I was watching these group of friends yell obscenities to people until she came.
We sat in the car and chatter, right after she gave me a belated Valentine's Day present:
It's lovely and I do love it. Seriously. It's the best. I can't wait to give you my surprise.
As we were sitting in the parking lot, someone started honking which set off a chain reaction of honks. Some guys started yelling about the honking. They kept it going for a good minute/minute and a half.
And, what I believe to be the same guy, had his friend circle the parking lot so he could yell out, "WOW, THAT'S A LOW PRICE!" at the top of his lungs.
Very amusing.
On my way home around 2AM I had to stop at the Minit Mart. I was so nervous because you know the only good people are there that early in the morning.
NO ONE was there. Surprised me. I didn't even see a cashier.
So, I drove off and noticed, on the darkest part of my road, that I had left my gas tank open. Had to pull off and everything.
None of that is interesting, I know, but I'm trying to distract myself from the nausea.
Met up with Cricket. I don't know how to describe it. It was weird. Like nothing has changed in the past several months we didn't speak. I don't know if that's a good thing or not? I still feel as if nothing will be the same as it used to be back in the day when I was jobless. Not saying I was thinking it would be, but there was that small chance of hope.
There isn't that trust or that strong 'i want to be around her' feeling. For me, I don't think for her?
Cricket, I know you're reading this, haha.
Plus I spilled my guts out and all I can do now is act awkward, because awkward is my middle name.
(That's taken from a story of mine.... "You know the one, she's practically orgasming under my magic flageelees and, all of the sudden, weird's her middle name. I ask the number one ...." Yeah, that one.)
ANYWAY.
I had been sitting in a southern lanes parking lot, eating, watching people, ya know. I was waiting for Cricket to be off work so we could hang out wherever. She manages to get off early. I end up waiting an hour in the parking lot, by myself, ha. I was watching these group of friends yell obscenities to people until she came.
We sat in the car and chatter, right after she gave me a belated Valentine's Day present:
It's lovely and I do love it. Seriously. It's the best. I can't wait to give you my surprise.
As we were sitting in the parking lot, someone started honking which set off a chain reaction of honks. Some guys started yelling about the honking. They kept it going for a good minute/minute and a half.
And, what I believe to be the same guy, had his friend circle the parking lot so he could yell out, "WOW, THAT'S A LOW PRICE!" at the top of his lungs.
Very amusing.
On my way home around 2AM I had to stop at the Minit Mart. I was so nervous because you know the only good people are there that early in the morning.
NO ONE was there. Surprised me. I didn't even see a cashier.
So, I drove off and noticed, on the darkest part of my road, that I had left my gas tank open. Had to pull off and everything.
None of that is interesting, I know, but I'm trying to distract myself from the nausea.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
♪: the lonely island - i'm on a boat
Let me start off with November 2/3.
Me and Pedro kicked it in the train, so you know what we did in there *nodnodwinkwink.*
Me - I can't believe she tazed you. You must've been really pushy with her.
Pedro - Ha, it wasn't like that. Um, we all went back to, uh, these people's apartment. And these girls are really retarded drunk. Like, bitchy.
Me - Ohhh.
Pedro - Yeah. And this girl comes out and starts yelling at me. I was like, she was like, yelling at me and she had a test tomorrow. I wasn't making any noise and my brother was drunk blah blah. Yelling and stuff, and I was like, "Okay, if you stop yelling at me, I won't do anything."
The girl said, "I know, I know."
And this other girl, the whole night she was trying to make my brother jealous.
Me - Like what?
Pedro - I guess she likes him....
Me - She, she was with you to make your brother jealous?
Pedro - No, like...
Me - Yes.
Pedro - N--
Me - Do you mean yes?
Pedro - Really? She asked me if I knew any tips to make him jealous. And, uh, I was like, "Well, I do know a couple ways to make him jealous, you know." She was like, "How?" I said, "I'm not gonna tell you, but I'm letting you know that I know." And she, "Tell me." "I'm not going to tell you." She went to go get a taser and she said, "Tell me." And I was like, she wasn't going to taser me. So, I said no and she tasered me!
Me - So, have you seen that show?
Pedro - No, why would I?
Me - Well, it's about this one man..
Pedro - Oh God, you're not going to explain it to me, are you?
So, after all that and we go driving for a bit around SG, after Pedro sporadically throws up my emergency brake and shifting me into different gears as I'm driving, we're sitting in the parking lot across from the Library.
About 2AM, a Sheriff pulls up.
My heart lurches because I'm holding a quarter bag.
"How're you doing tonight?"
"Fine," I reply without missing a beat.
"Who's in the car with you?"
"Just me and Pedro."
Pedro perks as the cop raises his voice in a really happy, creepy way, "Hey, Pedro, how ya doin'!?" He shines his flashlight into the car, on Pedro, giving him a one over (probably to check if he's clothed).
Pedro shifts his eyes, confused, replies, "Fine."
"Anyone else in the car with you?" He shines his flashlight into the backseat.
"No."
"Have y'all been smoking dope?"
I laugh, "No."
"So, what're you doing?"
"Sitting here," I say.
"Talking and all that?"
"Yes."
"Do you have any Dope and guns?"
Pedro starts, "Lots---"
But I stop him and finalize, "Nope."
"May I see your ID?" He only asks me. And, as I'm reaching into the backseat for my wallet, the Sheriff asks, "Where do you guys live?"
"Smiths Grove," I off-handedly say.
"Oh, so, from around here?
I nod my head.
"Pedro?"
Pedro answers, "Yeah, I'm from Boulder Rock."
"Oh, yeah, then."
He looks at my license, holds it up in the air, to the streetlight, then hands it back to me and asks, "So, you're sure you don't have any guns or dope?"
Me and Pedro laugh, but I answer, "Nope, I'm positive."
And he gets in his car and leaves.
November 3/4
I kicked it with Cricket after work. She had a telescope.
So, she does have a long walk to her front porch. The walkway is covered with leaves, as is her entire yard. I park and am shuffling in my car for a bit and then start to walk to her house. I'm walking and just thinking when I believe I hear EXTRA footsteps with mine. I stop, so does the other.
At this point, I'm thinking it's an animal and I keep going, smiling to myself for believing I was in some teen horror flick.
But then the leaves start to rustle and this time, it's closer. I stop and look around the yard. There is a human figure in the darkness walking toward me with a toboggan on. I hold my breath until I realize it's just Cricket, lumbering around. Ahhh.
Not even inside the house yet, we do the dirty deed, right outside her front door.
So, after a bit more, and the joint is finished, we go inside.
We decided to play candyland.
As I'm putting my little ginger guy on the board, I look up and she's looking through the manual.
Me - Do you not remember how to play?
Cricket - Making sure.
Me - are you serious? Were you seriously looking at the instructions?
Cricket - Yeah, it's been a long time since I played.
Me - all you do is draw a -- it's from ages THREEE AND UPP. Meaning a three-year-old can look and know--
Cricket - Draw your card.
Me - Wait, what special tactic would that book tell you to do this game? *draws card* I'm purple bitch. Man, there's no dice to roll.
*after a couple of card draws*
Me - This game, so many tricks, I don't understand it. Hahahhaa, what were you seriously doing with that book?
Cricket - *smiles*
Me - You and Pedro both just love to keep me going!
I was kicking her ass. Toward the end, the single colored squares would be doubles and the doubles would be triples. I did that for like five minutes and she didn't even notice >:)
Then, as I won, Cricket says, "That was fun." And immediately puts up the game. Didn't even ask if I wanted to play it again.
I was hungry because I was hungry before I came, so we went into town.
I stopped at a green light, WHICH WAS RED AS I WAS COMING UP ON IT.
I ran a redlight, and my face, Cricket says, was fucking hilarious. I was straight horrified.
Then we went to Denny's and saw our old friend, Bonnie, working... She was our waitress. In the back, I could hear her talking to her coworkers. One conversation, I told Cricket about:
Me - She just said, 'I just ate half his fries, could you drop me more? Oh, thank you!' Can you believe that? Just eating some guy's fries.
So, she comes out and holding this burger and fries. It went to a man sitting behind Cricket and across from me.
Cricket and I start cracking up.
I made a paper airplane. I threw it at Bonnie. She wadded it up.
I was going to make her work for her tip. Meaning, I was going to wave it at her and if she could grab it, she could have it. She told me, "It's not high school anymore, Heather."
We went back to Cricket's and watched As Told By Ginger. I LOVE THAT FUCKING SHOW HIGH, IT'S AWESOME AS SHIT.
Then I left after a bit.
And here's the biggest PLOT TWIST EVER.
Cricket's road is very dark and the only turn offs are other roads that look the same as the roads before. There are only drive ways and fields. So, I'm going around this curve and this Sheriff is going the opposite way. As I'm straightening up, I notice it was the Sheriff. As he is behind me, I flash my eyes to rearview mirror and immediately notice he stopped in THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING ROAD and does a complete turn around and speeds up to catch me. At the exact moment I noticed he was turning around, I strapped on my seatbelt and gulped. I have a half joint left and my eyes were pink because the eyedrops were wearing away. Like I said, there's no where where he could pull me off. So, this Sheriff rode my ass, quite literally, for about 3-5 miles (WHICH IS FOREVER AT 45MPH).
Then, as we were coming up to my old high school parking lot, he flashes his lights. I got the whole treatment except the sirens.
I'm so fucking nervous I'm shaking.
I park in a space and he parks behind me.
In my side mirror I could see his pants and that masculine flashlight.
That's when he was standing at my window and I noticed he was THE SAME FUCKING SHERIFF FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE. It's about 230AM.
He flashes the light at my face, again.
"Oh, man, crap, you're not the one."
After the initial shock I was pulled over, I noticed he was the Sheriff from YESTERDAY NIGHT/MORNING with Pedro, I instantaneously deflate my entire person. "Really?"
"Yeah, I was in a chase with this red car and you're obviously not it. I'm sorry." He paused here, looking up at the sky. He lowered his head to me when he questioned, "Where you headed?"
I snapped out an answer, "Home."
"Where were you coming from?"
"A friend's house."
"Where does she live?"
"In Anna."
"Oh, well, okay." He goes to step away and then turns on his heels and he asked me the last question, "Have you been drinking tonight?"
"Nope." And I smiled.
"Okay, I appreciate it."
"You're welcome."
I drive off and he does too, going the opposite way.
What're the fucking odds?
ps - That was the first time I have ever been pulled over and it was because of mistaken identity.
Me and Pedro kicked it in the train, so you know what we did in there *nodnodwinkwink.*
Me - I can't believe she tazed you. You must've been really pushy with her.
Pedro - Ha, it wasn't like that. Um, we all went back to, uh, these people's apartment. And these girls are really retarded drunk. Like, bitchy.
Me - Ohhh.
Pedro - Yeah. And this girl comes out and starts yelling at me. I was like, she was like, yelling at me and she had a test tomorrow. I wasn't making any noise and my brother was drunk blah blah. Yelling and stuff, and I was like, "Okay, if you stop yelling at me, I won't do anything."
The girl said, "I know, I know."
And this other girl, the whole night she was trying to make my brother jealous.
Me - Like what?
Pedro - I guess she likes him....
Me - She, she was with you to make your brother jealous?
Pedro - No, like...
Me - Yes.
Pedro - N--
Me - Do you mean yes?
Pedro - Really? She asked me if I knew any tips to make him jealous. And, uh, I was like, "Well, I do know a couple ways to make him jealous, you know." She was like, "How?" I said, "I'm not gonna tell you, but I'm letting you know that I know." And she, "Tell me." "I'm not going to tell you." She went to go get a taser and she said, "Tell me." And I was like, she wasn't going to taser me. So, I said no and she tasered me!
Me - So, have you seen that show?
Pedro - No, why would I?
Me - Well, it's about this one man..
Pedro - Oh God, you're not going to explain it to me, are you?
So, after all that and we go driving for a bit around SG, after Pedro sporadically throws up my emergency brake and shifting me into different gears as I'm driving, we're sitting in the parking lot across from the Library.
About 2AM, a Sheriff pulls up.
My heart lurches because I'm holding a quarter bag.
"How're you doing tonight?"
"Fine," I reply without missing a beat.
"Who's in the car with you?"
"Just me and Pedro."
Pedro perks as the cop raises his voice in a really happy, creepy way, "Hey, Pedro, how ya doin'!?" He shines his flashlight into the car, on Pedro, giving him a one over (probably to check if he's clothed).
Pedro shifts his eyes, confused, replies, "Fine."
"Anyone else in the car with you?" He shines his flashlight into the backseat.
"No."
"Have y'all been smoking dope?"
I laugh, "No."
"So, what're you doing?"
"Sitting here," I say.
"Talking and all that?"
"Yes."
"Do you have any Dope and guns?"
Pedro starts, "Lots---"
But I stop him and finalize, "Nope."
"May I see your ID?" He only asks me. And, as I'm reaching into the backseat for my wallet, the Sheriff asks, "Where do you guys live?"
"Smiths Grove," I off-handedly say.
"Oh, so, from around here?
I nod my head.
"Pedro?"
Pedro answers, "Yeah, I'm from Boulder Rock."
"Oh, yeah, then."
He looks at my license, holds it up in the air, to the streetlight, then hands it back to me and asks, "So, you're sure you don't have any guns or dope?"
Me and Pedro laugh, but I answer, "Nope, I'm positive."
And he gets in his car and leaves.
November 3/4
I kicked it with Cricket after work. She had a telescope.
So, she does have a long walk to her front porch. The walkway is covered with leaves, as is her entire yard. I park and am shuffling in my car for a bit and then start to walk to her house. I'm walking and just thinking when I believe I hear EXTRA footsteps with mine. I stop, so does the other.
At this point, I'm thinking it's an animal and I keep going, smiling to myself for believing I was in some teen horror flick.
But then the leaves start to rustle and this time, it's closer. I stop and look around the yard. There is a human figure in the darkness walking toward me with a toboggan on. I hold my breath until I realize it's just Cricket, lumbering around. Ahhh.
Not even inside the house yet, we do the dirty deed, right outside her front door.
So, after a bit more, and the joint is finished, we go inside.
We decided to play candyland.
As I'm putting my little ginger guy on the board, I look up and she's looking through the manual.
Me - Do you not remember how to play?
Cricket - Making sure.
Me - are you serious? Were you seriously looking at the instructions?
Cricket - Yeah, it's been a long time since I played.
Me - all you do is draw a -- it's from ages THREEE AND UPP. Meaning a three-year-old can look and know--
Cricket - Draw your card.
Me - Wait, what special tactic would that book tell you to do this game? *draws card* I'm purple bitch. Man, there's no dice to roll.
*after a couple of card draws*
Me - This game, so many tricks, I don't understand it. Hahahhaa, what were you seriously doing with that book?
Cricket - *smiles*
Me - You and Pedro both just love to keep me going!
I was kicking her ass. Toward the end, the single colored squares would be doubles and the doubles would be triples. I did that for like five minutes and she didn't even notice >:)
Then, as I won, Cricket says, "That was fun." And immediately puts up the game. Didn't even ask if I wanted to play it again.
I was hungry because I was hungry before I came, so we went into town.
I stopped at a green light, WHICH WAS RED AS I WAS COMING UP ON IT.
I ran a redlight, and my face, Cricket says, was fucking hilarious. I was straight horrified.
Then we went to Denny's and saw our old friend, Bonnie, working... She was our waitress. In the back, I could hear her talking to her coworkers. One conversation, I told Cricket about:
Me - She just said, 'I just ate half his fries, could you drop me more? Oh, thank you!' Can you believe that? Just eating some guy's fries.
So, she comes out and holding this burger and fries. It went to a man sitting behind Cricket and across from me.
Cricket and I start cracking up.
I made a paper airplane. I threw it at Bonnie. She wadded it up.
I was going to make her work for her tip. Meaning, I was going to wave it at her and if she could grab it, she could have it. She told me, "It's not high school anymore, Heather."
We went back to Cricket's and watched As Told By Ginger. I LOVE THAT FUCKING SHOW HIGH, IT'S AWESOME AS SHIT.
Then I left after a bit.
And here's the biggest PLOT TWIST EVER.
Cricket's road is very dark and the only turn offs are other roads that look the same as the roads before. There are only drive ways and fields. So, I'm going around this curve and this Sheriff is going the opposite way. As I'm straightening up, I notice it was the Sheriff. As he is behind me, I flash my eyes to rearview mirror and immediately notice he stopped in THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING ROAD and does a complete turn around and speeds up to catch me. At the exact moment I noticed he was turning around, I strapped on my seatbelt and gulped. I have a half joint left and my eyes were pink because the eyedrops were wearing away. Like I said, there's no where where he could pull me off. So, this Sheriff rode my ass, quite literally, for about 3-5 miles (WHICH IS FOREVER AT 45MPH).
Then, as we were coming up to my old high school parking lot, he flashes his lights. I got the whole treatment except the sirens.
I'm so fucking nervous I'm shaking.
I park in a space and he parks behind me.
In my side mirror I could see his pants and that masculine flashlight.
That's when he was standing at my window and I noticed he was THE SAME FUCKING SHERIFF FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE. It's about 230AM.
He flashes the light at my face, again.
"Oh, man, crap, you're not the one."
After the initial shock I was pulled over, I noticed he was the Sheriff from YESTERDAY NIGHT/MORNING with Pedro, I instantaneously deflate my entire person. "Really?"
"Yeah, I was in a chase with this red car and you're obviously not it. I'm sorry." He paused here, looking up at the sky. He lowered his head to me when he questioned, "Where you headed?"
I snapped out an answer, "Home."
"Where were you coming from?"
"A friend's house."
"Where does she live?"
"In Anna."
"Oh, well, okay." He goes to step away and then turns on his heels and he asked me the last question, "Have you been drinking tonight?"
"Nope." And I smiled.
"Okay, I appreciate it."
"You're welcome."
I drive off and he does too, going the opposite way.
What're the fucking odds?
ps - That was the first time I have ever been pulled over and it was because of mistaken identity.
Monday, November 2, 2009
♪: plastic tree - パイドパイパー
October 30th
So, it's the night before Halloween and I went to Cricket's aunt's where she was, don'cha know.
I tried going through the recording (that all of the adults were against) and I can't find the EXACT conversation, but this is to my memory:
Aunt - Acid nowadays is stuff you can find under your kitchen sink!
Tina - Exactly.
Aunt - Kids, *turns to Cricket and me* don't do it. It's not straight LSD anymore.
Me - I bet bigger cities have it.
Aunt - Have what?
Me - Acid. All forms of it.
Aunt - What forms would that be?
Me - *in thought* Organic acid....
Aunt - Organic Acid, well...
Tina - *cracks up*
Cricket - *follows suit with her mother while I dip my head between me and her and laugh*
I played the Wii. Kicked Cricket's ASSSSSSSSSS.
October 31st
Went to Sean's party after work. I walked in and everyone chanted (after the devil had stood in front of the door to greet me) 'Kroger Employee!'
I grinned and shook my head, immediately changing.
After I came out, Emo Girl said I should draw a mustache on my face to be 'Evil Heather.'
I did.
A curly one I had Tamra, Cleopatra, draw for me :)
I don't have a picture now, but I will, hopefully.
Me - *sitting on the couch, holding phone up to take a picture* Hey, devil, strike a pose.
Devil - *turns head*
Me - That's your pose?
Devil - *nod*
This girl, right here, is HILARIOUS. I adore her. She's 'Emo Girl.'
She did everything emo.
The strand of hair over one eye, the bounce of the head dance. Ahhhh.
The Devil and 'Vampire Sean.'
Haha.
Then I found the dry erase board the time Emo Girl did and we drew a little somethin-somethin' on it.
AFTER THAT, me and Cricket kicked it.
Cricket was already high by the time I got there, sober. So, there's not much conversation, haha, Cricket gets quiet.
But, she sat me beside Andy who had already shitfaced himself. He was decked out as Dorothy. That's right. Dorothy from Wizard of Oz.
This man is near his 50s. And he hit on me. In that blue and white checkered dress, wig and heels. He continuously did it. Not one time and quit. He tried for 30 minutes to take his bait. I was getting aggravated and very disgusted.
Cricket was smiling, watching us.
We went back to Cricket's room, in her own house, while Andy vomited out his memory and passed out.
I was making a Mii.
lol. Looks like a penis.
November 2
I went to Crafty Hands and fucked up my sock so bad, I have to rip out my ENTIRE HEEL and redo it.
I wanted to cry, haha.
So, it's the night before Halloween and I went to Cricket's aunt's where she was, don'cha know.
I tried going through the recording (that all of the adults were against) and I can't find the EXACT conversation, but this is to my memory:
Aunt - Acid nowadays is stuff you can find under your kitchen sink!
Tina - Exactly.
Aunt - Kids, *turns to Cricket and me* don't do it. It's not straight LSD anymore.
Me - I bet bigger cities have it.
Aunt - Have what?
Me - Acid. All forms of it.
Aunt - What forms would that be?
Me - *in thought* Organic acid....
Aunt - Organic Acid, well...
Tina - *cracks up*
Cricket - *follows suit with her mother while I dip my head between me and her and laugh*
I played the Wii. Kicked Cricket's ASSSSSSSSSS.
October 31st
Went to Sean's party after work. I walked in and everyone chanted (after the devil had stood in front of the door to greet me) 'Kroger Employee!'
I grinned and shook my head, immediately changing.
After I came out, Emo Girl said I should draw a mustache on my face to be 'Evil Heather.'
I did.
A curly one I had Tamra, Cleopatra, draw for me :)
I don't have a picture now, but I will, hopefully.
Me - *sitting on the couch, holding phone up to take a picture* Hey, devil, strike a pose.
Devil - *turns head*
Me - That's your pose?
Devil - *nod*
This girl, right here, is HILARIOUS. I adore her. She's 'Emo Girl.'
She did everything emo.
The strand of hair over one eye, the bounce of the head dance. Ahhhh.
The Devil and 'Vampire Sean.'
Haha.
Then I found the dry erase board the time Emo Girl did and we drew a little somethin-somethin' on it.
AFTER THAT, me and Cricket kicked it.
Cricket was already high by the time I got there, sober. So, there's not much conversation, haha, Cricket gets quiet.
But, she sat me beside Andy who had already shitfaced himself. He was decked out as Dorothy. That's right. Dorothy from Wizard of Oz.
This man is near his 50s. And he hit on me. In that blue and white checkered dress, wig and heels. He continuously did it. Not one time and quit. He tried for 30 minutes to take his bait. I was getting aggravated and very disgusted.
Cricket was smiling, watching us.
We went back to Cricket's room, in her own house, while Andy vomited out his memory and passed out.
I was making a Mii.
lol. Looks like a penis.
November 2
I went to Crafty Hands and fucked up my sock so bad, I have to rip out my ENTIRE HEEL and redo it.
I wanted to cry, haha.
Monday, October 26, 2009
♪: puddle of mudd - she hates me
Cricket and I went to go see Paranormal Activity. What a load of crap. Scary my arse. It was like as if the producers behind A Haunting made a fucking movie. Less believable than its hardly explained plot line are the characters and how they couldn't act whatsoever. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO ACT, JUST BE YOURSELF with this type of film and they just couldn't even do that. Not even close. I merely recommend to see this movie in a crowded theater with kids half your age, because their jumps and screams would make it all worth it.
Besides.
You might even get to hear some high school kids that believe it's real and the guy trying to tell them, yes, it's fictional. And the girls are in denial.
Shoo, now that that's over with....
DUMPSTER. I know, the light ruins the picture. BUT. Behind that dumpster which is behind that theater is a new place on the list of places we have smoked. That's right.
As soon as we walked out of the movie, to the parking lot, a security cop was there. No, not for us, but in general. Which is weird.
Then we went to Wal*Mart and have ANOTHER place to add to the list. In Wal*Mart parking lot.
And I think only one carload of people saw because they drove directly by and looked directly at us by slowing down.
I NOW HAVE NAIL POLISH. Cricket has NAIL POLISH and we're all happy.
Not that color, but the picture is proof that I rarely ever, hardly ever, ever wear nail polish.
Ay caramba!
(it hangs over my bed :)!)
And I painted her toenails with my fingernail polish ;)
Then, we sneaked around in the Halloween aisle and stole a couple of skeletons. She did it, I was too paranoid. I was so paranoid and felt bad about stealing that I bought these five lunch sacks with a witch on them to take to work. Hahahahaha. No, rly.
We then got something to eat and saw four cops (rough estimate).
We then went to the park to eat and saw another cop.
So, five?
It was insane.
Me - Could we make it in the theater? I'm not as high as I was, but I'm still kind of.... Ugh, I'm so scared to go in.
Cricket - Why?
Me - dsfdsg...
Cricket - Hey, you're not as high looking as you were with that picture with the unborn, remember? And we didn't even have eye drops. They didn't say shit.
Me - *laughs hard* Yeah man, I just don't want anyone else to know sitting around us.
Cricket - Oh, they're going to know.
Me - Ack, I just don't like people knowing that high that I didn't get high with. It freaks me the fuck out, really.
Cricket - Why? Maybe we can meet someone to invite back there to get high with us?
Me - *laughs, remembering the Unborn incident* hahahaaha, we were the geeky, red-eyed geeks walking up in Great Escape Theater. And you got behind a thing to make faces. *notices Crickets eyes flickering to the side.* What're you looking at? Oh, my reflection?
Cricket - *smiles and nods*
Me - It's the same thing you know. It's not going to do anything differently.
Cricket - That would be freaky as shit. I would demand you to take me to the hospital.
Me - Who would need the hospitalization - me or you?
Cricket - Hm, you have a point.
Me - OH HO HO HO HO! I do have a point.
*Walmart parking lot*
*waiting for car to pass*
Me - *goes to take a hit, but it drops and cannot find it* Where's the roach?
Cricket - *shrugs* I dunno.
Me - *harsh sigh* Fine. *looks on her lap, everything. Then I decide to get out of the car. As soon as I open the car door,* MONEY! *starts picking up some change*
Cricket - Found it!
Me - Yes! *gets the roach, puts it in my fist and a car is driving by really slowly and I look away to put the change into the little hole for change. As the car drives away I turn to Cricket*
Cricket - Hm, kind of odd.
Me - Did they look straight into the car?
Cricket - Hahahaha, yes they did.
I have made 22 cents, fyi.
The List (revisited!) - New locations added in italics.
Western Kentucky University
Keriaskes (I murdered that spelling) Park
Covington (gazebo, parking lot, swings, and gazebo on golf course)
The Square
Sears parking lot
The park by the free clinic (parking area and picnic area)
Abandoned train caboose
WHILE driving on the square
In front of the small library
Campbell Lane
The bridge on the bypass
Great Escape 12 (dumpster)
Wal*Mart (Veterans) parking lot
ps - Cricket loves her scarf ;)
Besides.
You might even get to hear some high school kids that believe it's real and the guy trying to tell them, yes, it's fictional. And the girls are in denial.
Shoo, now that that's over with....
DUMPSTER. I know, the light ruins the picture. BUT. Behind that dumpster which is behind that theater is a new place on the list of places we have smoked. That's right.
As soon as we walked out of the movie, to the parking lot, a security cop was there. No, not for us, but in general. Which is weird.
Then we went to Wal*Mart and have ANOTHER place to add to the list. In Wal*Mart parking lot.
And I think only one carload of people saw because they drove directly by and looked directly at us by slowing down.
I NOW HAVE NAIL POLISH. Cricket has NAIL POLISH and we're all happy.
Not that color, but the picture is proof that I rarely ever, hardly ever, ever wear nail polish.
Ay caramba!
(it hangs over my bed :)!)
And I painted her toenails with my fingernail polish ;)
Then, we sneaked around in the Halloween aisle and stole a couple of skeletons. She did it, I was too paranoid. I was so paranoid and felt bad about stealing that I bought these five lunch sacks with a witch on them to take to work. Hahahahaha. No, rly.
We then got something to eat and saw four cops (rough estimate).
We then went to the park to eat and saw another cop.
So, five?
It was insane.
Me - Could we make it in the theater? I'm not as high as I was, but I'm still kind of.... Ugh, I'm so scared to go in.
Cricket - Why?
Me - dsfdsg...
Cricket - Hey, you're not as high looking as you were with that picture with the unborn, remember? And we didn't even have eye drops. They didn't say shit.
Me - *laughs hard* Yeah man, I just don't want anyone else to know sitting around us.
Cricket - Oh, they're going to know.
Me - Ack, I just don't like people knowing that high that I didn't get high with. It freaks me the fuck out, really.
Cricket - Why? Maybe we can meet someone to invite back there to get high with us?
Me - *laughs, remembering the Unborn incident* hahahaaha, we were the geeky, red-eyed geeks walking up in Great Escape Theater. And you got behind a thing to make faces. *notices Crickets eyes flickering to the side.* What're you looking at? Oh, my reflection?
Cricket - *smiles and nods*
Me - It's the same thing you know. It's not going to do anything differently.
Cricket - That would be freaky as shit. I would demand you to take me to the hospital.
Me - Who would need the hospitalization - me or you?
Cricket - Hm, you have a point.
Me - OH HO HO HO HO! I do have a point.
*Walmart parking lot*
*waiting for car to pass*
Me - *goes to take a hit, but it drops and cannot find it* Where's the roach?
Cricket - *shrugs* I dunno.
Me - *harsh sigh* Fine. *looks on her lap, everything. Then I decide to get out of the car. As soon as I open the car door,* MONEY! *starts picking up some change*
Cricket - Found it!
Me - Yes! *gets the roach, puts it in my fist and a car is driving by really slowly and I look away to put the change into the little hole for change. As the car drives away I turn to Cricket*
Cricket - Hm, kind of odd.
Me - Did they look straight into the car?
Cricket - Hahahaha, yes they did.
I have made 22 cents, fyi.
The List (revisited!) - New locations added in italics.
Western Kentucky University
Keriaskes (I murdered that spelling) Park
Covington (gazebo, parking lot, swings, and gazebo on golf course)
The Square
Sears parking lot
The park by the free clinic (parking area and picnic area)
Abandoned train caboose
WHILE driving on the square
In front of the small library
Campbell Lane
The bridge on the bypass
Great Escape 12 (dumpster)
Wal*Mart (Veterans) parking lot
ps - Cricket loves her scarf ;)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
♪: the beatles - come together
Trust me, I know I've been uninteresting since I started a job and don't really do a lot of drugs anymore. That's what a job does - conforms you and ruins the buzz.
Right now I'm wondering if I should type out the best pieces out of last week's run-in with Cricket and Alex. Not this week's. Can you believe I was hanging out with Cricket and Alex nearly four hours and didn't get high? NEW RECORRDD. I left sober and still managed to drive recklessly. Who would have thought it?
Okay, this scarf I'm knitting is pissing me the fuck off. I'm knitting such a simple pattern and still manage to fuck it over at least once, right when the scarf is beginning to take shape. I have restarted that goddamn scarf over TEN FUCKING TIMES. Tonight is the last time I restart that damned thing. I am so sick and tired of screwing things over. I'm thinking of just knitting some of it, or most of it, tomorrow at Crafty Hands so, if I do fuck up, the helpful people can aide me. What luck.
-THE BEST CONVERSATION FROM LAST WEEK...-
brought to you byyyy, Me, Alex and Cricket.
*through this entire conversation, I'm knitting*
Me - On a meter of one through ONE BILLION, how high are you?
Alex - Half a billion.
Me - Okay, you? *directing toward Cricket*
Cricket - I'm sorry, what was the level?
Me&Alex - one through ONE BILLLIIOOONNN.
Cricket - What's the number directly under one billion?
Me - 999 hundred,9...?
Cricket - That one.
Me - 9-hundred and 99 thousand....
Alex - A million!
Me - WAIT!
Alex - One million, one thousand --
Me - 9 Million.
Cricket - 99 million, 99 thousand, 99
Alex - No it's, 99 million, 99 thousand, 99 *joined by Cricket* hundred, 99.
Cricket - That's what I said.
Me - No, you forgot the hundred. *Then I explain the difference between the british way of doing it and the american, for some reason*
Alex - *starts to count again, for some reason*
Cricket - yeah, well, you know I can't spell. *talking about something british*
Me - *ignoring Alex and talking to Cricket* Yeah, well, you know what you spell wrong? 90% of the dictionary.
Cricket - *explains her way of spelling*
Alex - *plays with Mufasa, the kitty*
Cricket - I don't want anymore after you *nods head toward the joint*
Me - Well, you have to take it *nods head toward Alex* ... Okay, what about counting back from a trillion?
Cricket - NOOOOO....
Me - 999 trillion, 999 billion, 999 million, 999 hundred-thousand, right? 999 thousand, 999 hundred, 99?
Alex&Cricket - Yayyy! *claps*
Right now I'm wondering if I should type out the best pieces out of last week's run-in with Cricket and Alex. Not this week's. Can you believe I was hanging out with Cricket and Alex nearly four hours and didn't get high? NEW RECORRDD. I left sober and still managed to drive recklessly. Who would have thought it?
Okay, this scarf I'm knitting is pissing me the fuck off. I'm knitting such a simple pattern and still manage to fuck it over at least once, right when the scarf is beginning to take shape. I have restarted that goddamn scarf over TEN FUCKING TIMES. Tonight is the last time I restart that damned thing. I am so sick and tired of screwing things over. I'm thinking of just knitting some of it, or most of it, tomorrow at Crafty Hands so, if I do fuck up, the helpful people can aide me. What luck.
-THE BEST CONVERSATION FROM LAST WEEK...-
brought to you byyyy, Me, Alex and Cricket.
*through this entire conversation, I'm knitting*
Me - On a meter of one through ONE BILLION, how high are you?
Alex - Half a billion.
Me - Okay, you? *directing toward Cricket*
Cricket - I'm sorry, what was the level?
Me&Alex - one through ONE BILLLIIOOONNN.
Cricket - What's the number directly under one billion?
Me - 999 hundred,9...?
Cricket - That one.
Me - 9-hundred and 99 thousand....
Alex - A million!
Me - WAIT!
Alex - One million, one thousand --
Me - 9 Million.
Cricket - 99 million, 99 thousand, 99
Alex - No it's, 99 million, 99 thousand, 99 *joined by Cricket* hundred, 99.
Cricket - That's what I said.
Me - No, you forgot the hundred. *Then I explain the difference between the british way of doing it and the american, for some reason*
Alex - *starts to count again, for some reason*
Cricket - yeah, well, you know I can't spell. *talking about something british*
Me - *ignoring Alex and talking to Cricket* Yeah, well, you know what you spell wrong? 90% of the dictionary.
Cricket - *explains her way of spelling*
Alex - *plays with Mufasa, the kitty*
Cricket - I don't want anymore after you *nods head toward the joint*
Me - Well, you have to take it *nods head toward Alex* ... Okay, what about counting back from a trillion?
Cricket - NOOOOO....
Me - 999 trillion, 999 billion, 999 million, 999 hundred-thousand, right? 999 thousand, 999 hundred, 99?
Alex&Cricket - Yayyy! *claps*
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
♪: Dexy's Midnight Runners - Come On Eileen
Two preachers and an apostle in training walks into Starbucks...
That actually happened today and I really wanted to make it a joke and couldn't find one funny line. FUCK IT.
Then these two girls and [what I thought to be] a gay man were sitting in the table in front of me. One, the innocent girl of the two, was talking about how someone tried to break in her apartment. She opened the door on the burglar. She even said, "I wouldn't do anything illegal, haha, because the cops will be circling my house."
Then they discussed if he had a gun.
Then they discussed if he had a gun AND armor. Then they'd be 'screwed.'
I loved listening to them and playing Sudoku.
While playing monopoly, at Cricket's, I figured out 10 ways to annoy people while playing said game.
1 - Pick anyone from a group and single them out for competition. Who can get the most properties, money and houses/hotels out there. Every time you get money, properties, etc... Look at them slyly and make a comment about your win.
2 - If you have to pay rent for anything, hand them a 500 dollar bill.
3 - Buy EVERYTHING you land on.
4 - If they want a property, always say the amount their 500/100s equal to. And never trade until they have money. Wait a couple of rounds.
5 - Barely swing the dice out of your hand so it's more of a chance to get doubles.
6 - Do not keep your money organized. Just make this big pile.
7 - Sit the farthest away from the board. Always make sure someone moves you. Do this until they figure out you haven't touched your piece for ten rounds.
8 - When handing them money, sulk and throw it toward their money. Piece by piece. (that's if their hand isn't out.)
9 - When you know they don't have the money to make exact payment, say, "I don't give change."
10 - Tuck your elbows to your sides and and reach for everything with your 'gimp' arms.
Watching guys play basketball while knitting is pretty fun.
(he was in my purse, kickin' it, and then he stepped off once I clicked.)
MUFASA. That's his name and I'll say it again. MUFASSAAA, OOOOooOOOooh.
That kitten was so boss I could hardly contain my affection.
That actually happened today and I really wanted to make it a joke and couldn't find one funny line. FUCK IT.
Then these two girls and [what I thought to be] a gay man were sitting in the table in front of me. One, the innocent girl of the two, was talking about how someone tried to break in her apartment. She opened the door on the burglar. She even said, "I wouldn't do anything illegal, haha, because the cops will be circling my house."
Then they discussed if he had a gun.
Then they discussed if he had a gun AND armor. Then they'd be 'screwed.'
I loved listening to them and playing Sudoku.
While playing monopoly, at Cricket's, I figured out 10 ways to annoy people while playing said game.
1 - Pick anyone from a group and single them out for competition. Who can get the most properties, money and houses/hotels out there. Every time you get money, properties, etc... Look at them slyly and make a comment about your win.
2 - If you have to pay rent for anything, hand them a 500 dollar bill.
3 - Buy EVERYTHING you land on.
4 - If they want a property, always say the amount their 500/100s equal to. And never trade until they have money. Wait a couple of rounds.
5 - Barely swing the dice out of your hand so it's more of a chance to get doubles.
6 - Do not keep your money organized. Just make this big pile.
7 - Sit the farthest away from the board. Always make sure someone moves you. Do this until they figure out you haven't touched your piece for ten rounds.
8 - When handing them money, sulk and throw it toward their money. Piece by piece. (that's if their hand isn't out.)
9 - When you know they don't have the money to make exact payment, say, "I don't give change."
10 - Tuck your elbows to your sides and and reach for everything with your 'gimp' arms.
Watching guys play basketball while knitting is pretty fun.
(he was in my purse, kickin' it, and then he stepped off once I clicked.)
MUFASA. That's his name and I'll say it again. MUFASSAAA, OOOOooOOOooh.
That kitten was so boss I could hardly contain my affection.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
♪: shinedown - second chance
That's right, we got Alex to do the Alien Suit (which is a teletubby). This picture is fucking hilarious. Her expression is the fucking best.
This position was more pronounced before I clicked, but doesn't he slightly resemble Java the Hut? I mean, I cracked myself up telling him that.
I am the funniest person I know.
I mean, he continued to lick his lips and staring at me over his stomach.
hahahahahahaha.
The day before last Cricket threw me her little birthday party for me. It was boss. I mean, I was sick that day, but before I went home, it was the best.
UGHHHH, I don't wannaaa go to workkkkk.
Working for my parents is literally like working for Satan. I am getting paid to work in Hell. Not many people can say that.
Monday, August 17, 2009
♪: Eddy Grant - Electric Avenue
When I went to Sean's the other day, I decided to go see Cricket at work before I went home.
As I walk into WalMart, searching for her, a person over the intercom says, "Tyler Durden to the Electronics, Tyler Druden."
Hahahahahahahaha.
Whoever did that, I want them to be my new best friend.
Cricket said they had done that at least four times.
As I walk into WalMart, searching for her, a person over the intercom says, "Tyler Durden to the Electronics, Tyler Druden."
Hahahahahahahaha.
Whoever did that, I want them to be my new best friend.
Cricket said they had done that at least four times.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
♪: Frandz Ferdinand - the fallen
Oh boy, do I have a story for you kids.
Tonight, me and Cricket have finally decided on one name for the other blog you see in my profile. 'STONARCHY.'
One boob on rotteneggs has the name, but I refuse to let some strange-stoner guy beat us to the punch. We have claimed it. And, I challenge he if he is to protest this invasion.
See below for hard work we've been with it:
Cricket did the face. I wrote 'STONEARCHY.' AS soon as we got out of the car to do this, a car pulled up with a family in it, beside the space we were decorating. ugh, right? It wasn't a buzzkill at all - added drama.
PROOF it was in the Kroger's parking lot.
ACKKKKKK.
I can't remember any of the funny conversations.
I apologize for the lack of comedy.
:(
Tonight, me and Cricket have finally decided on one name for the other blog you see in my profile. 'STONARCHY.'
One boob on rotteneggs has the name, but I refuse to let some strange-stoner guy beat us to the punch. We have claimed it. And, I challenge he if he is to protest this invasion.
See below for hard work we've been with it:
Cricket did the face. I wrote 'STONEARCHY.' AS soon as we got out of the car to do this, a car pulled up with a family in it, beside the space we were decorating. ugh, right? It wasn't a buzzkill at all - added drama.
PROOF it was in the Kroger's parking lot.
ACKKKKKK.
I can't remember any of the funny conversations.
I apologize for the lack of comedy.
:(
Monday, August 10, 2009
♪: frandz ferdinand - Do You Want To
*in the car*
Tina - *fumbling for the car light* Watch out, ya'll, it's going to be bright. *a moment later of fumbling* Cricket, where's the light?
Cricket - *reaches up, turns on the light*
Me - AHHHHHHHHH!
*talk about chilvary with Cricket and Tina*
Me - One time, when I was walking with Emily (A nearly midget girl, I'm 5'6''), a dog came up, without a leash, and started barking at our heels. I immediately, without second thought, grab Emily and put her in front.
Tina & Cricket - Hahaha, did you really?
Me - Haha, yes.
Tina - One time, when me and my brother were walking, the same thing happened and he shoved me on the ground and ran. I was 12-years-old and he was 15. He got in trouble, because he knew better.
Me - Oh, if he didn't, he would've not got in trouble?
Tina - Noooo.
*cricket and tina are upfront, I'm in the back, in the middle.*
Tina - blah blah blah.... Ichi, are you buckled?
Me - *makes wtf face* Uhhh, noooo.
Tina - OMG, get buckled! What are you doing! *immediately stops car in the middle of the fucking road, AT NIGHT mind you.*
Me - URRGGHHHH!
Tina - You could hit the dash, you could fly out the window!
Cricket - Don't worry, she'll turn my head so I don't have to watch.
(this joke was referring to THIS POST!)
*me, remembering something that reminds me of cricket*
Me - Oh, so I was reading and this guy said he started talking about something stupid with his parents 'time machine' and all related... And his friends didn't even stop him. And I was reminded of Cricket, but she never does.
*late in Kroger*
*Man walking past us with his cart... Cricket starts to mimick his walk and I'm laughing silently to myself, attempting not to make a big scene. Well, the wife starts walking TOWARD her husband and Cricket breaks away and whispers to me* Why didn't you stop me?
Me - HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA! *And have to cover my mouth and walk behind a shelf. *
*at the lunch meat section at Kroger, FINALLY after the funny walking man*
Me - Oh no, they don't have oscar meyer. Oh no. WHAT AM I GOING TO BRING HOME TO MY FAMILY?
(Kroger was so much fun, ughhh, ahhh.)
(picture, pertains for the bottom dialogue.)
*at the DQ drive thru*
Tina - Any body want anything?
Me - Cricket, you want a blizzard?
Cricket - I don't know, do YOU want a blizzard?
Me - I don't know, do you?
Cricket - I do if you do.
Me - I do if you do.
Cricket - I do if you do.
Me - Me too.
Cricket - I just said it first!
Me - Fine, it means yes.
Tina - What's, uh, the hawaiian blizzard?
Cashier - It has pineapple, bananas and coconut.
Me - *yells to the mic, from the backseat, sarcastic* So, anything tropical, right?
*more ordering*
Me - *JUST SAW A GIRL HOLDING ONTO THE PASSENGER SIDE DOOR, ROLLAR SKATES ON, CAR SLOWING DOWN AT A STOP LIGHT. I grab Cricket's shoulder.* Dude look! Dude look! *my hand is out the window, pointing*
Cricket - Hahahahaha!
*We are getting our phones out. We stick ours out the window, Cricket gets a better picture than me*
Tina - *still ordering. After she does, we're going to window and she says* there's some guy and girl hysterically laughing at you guys.
Cricket - Haha!
Me - Nu uh! *looks back, and indeed, they're laughing*
*five minutes later*
Me - Man, we have no idea what we said for them to laugh at us.
The final and the best story:
Cricket - you okay to drive?
Ichi - Yep, of course. *starts to grab purse, phone, grocery items and blizzard.*
Tina - You have a lott of stufff. Sure you don't want to make another trip?
Ichi - No! *gets out of the car and her pants are falling down. She's standing there with an armful of items and standing there, pants keep inching down.* My pants are falling down! *walks up a bit, they got worse. I'm also struggling with the round blizzard cup* Ugh, fuck that! Jesus Christ! *throws cup on ground* My pants are falling down! I can't think right now.
Tina - Well, do you need help?
Ichi - No, I'm cool. *speading legs so pants won't fall to her ankles. I panicked* No, here. *puts down purse on ground, phone on car*
Tina - That's a white purse!
Ichi - *puts the BORROWED movies on the ground and saying,* sorry! haha ha haaaa.
Tina - Are you sure you got it?
Cricket - *smiling* Oh she's got it.
Ichi - I got it. *pulls up pants, opens car door, loads everything*
Tina - Alright, don't forget your phone, it's on your car.
Ichi - *seriously worried* Oh, thank you! I thought it was in my pocket. Oh man. *pause* hahahaha, yes, I'm okay to drive.
I definitely got it.
Bye-bye little man.
Tina - *fumbling for the car light* Watch out, ya'll, it's going to be bright. *a moment later of fumbling* Cricket, where's the light?
Cricket - *reaches up, turns on the light*
Me - AHHHHHHHHH!
*talk about chilvary with Cricket and Tina*
Me - One time, when I was walking with Emily (A nearly midget girl, I'm 5'6''), a dog came up, without a leash, and started barking at our heels. I immediately, without second thought, grab Emily and put her in front.
Tina & Cricket - Hahaha, did you really?
Me - Haha, yes.
Tina - One time, when me and my brother were walking, the same thing happened and he shoved me on the ground and ran. I was 12-years-old and he was 15. He got in trouble, because he knew better.
Me - Oh, if he didn't, he would've not got in trouble?
Tina - Noooo.
*cricket and tina are upfront, I'm in the back, in the middle.*
Tina - blah blah blah.... Ichi, are you buckled?
Me - *makes wtf face* Uhhh, noooo.
Tina - OMG, get buckled! What are you doing! *immediately stops car in the middle of the fucking road, AT NIGHT mind you.*
Me - URRGGHHHH!
Tina - You could hit the dash, you could fly out the window!
Cricket - Don't worry, she'll turn my head so I don't have to watch.
(this joke was referring to THIS POST!)
*me, remembering something that reminds me of cricket*
Me - Oh, so I was reading and this guy said he started talking about something stupid with his parents 'time machine' and all related... And his friends didn't even stop him. And I was reminded of Cricket, but she never does.
*late in Kroger*
*Man walking past us with his cart... Cricket starts to mimick his walk and I'm laughing silently to myself, attempting not to make a big scene. Well, the wife starts walking TOWARD her husband and Cricket breaks away and whispers to me* Why didn't you stop me?
Me - HAHAHAHAHAAHAHA! *And have to cover my mouth and walk behind a shelf. *
*at the lunch meat section at Kroger, FINALLY after the funny walking man*
Me - Oh no, they don't have oscar meyer. Oh no. WHAT AM I GOING TO BRING HOME TO MY FAMILY?
(Kroger was so much fun, ughhh, ahhh.)
(picture, pertains for the bottom dialogue.)
*at the DQ drive thru*
Tina - Any body want anything?
Me - Cricket, you want a blizzard?
Cricket - I don't know, do YOU want a blizzard?
Me - I don't know, do you?
Cricket - I do if you do.
Me - I do if you do.
Cricket - I do if you do.
Me - Me too.
Cricket - I just said it first!
Me - Fine, it means yes.
Tina - What's, uh, the hawaiian blizzard?
Cashier - It has pineapple, bananas and coconut.
Me - *yells to the mic, from the backseat, sarcastic* So, anything tropical, right?
*more ordering*
Me - *JUST SAW A GIRL HOLDING ONTO THE PASSENGER SIDE DOOR, ROLLAR SKATES ON, CAR SLOWING DOWN AT A STOP LIGHT. I grab Cricket's shoulder.* Dude look! Dude look! *my hand is out the window, pointing*
Cricket - Hahahahaha!
*We are getting our phones out. We stick ours out the window, Cricket gets a better picture than me*
Tina - *still ordering. After she does, we're going to window and she says* there's some guy and girl hysterically laughing at you guys.
Cricket - Haha!
Me - Nu uh! *looks back, and indeed, they're laughing*
*five minutes later*
Me - Man, we have no idea what we said for them to laugh at us.
The final and the best story:
Cricket - you okay to drive?
Ichi - Yep, of course. *starts to grab purse, phone, grocery items and blizzard.*
Tina - You have a lott of stufff. Sure you don't want to make another trip?
Ichi - No! *gets out of the car and her pants are falling down. She's standing there with an armful of items and standing there, pants keep inching down.* My pants are falling down! *walks up a bit, they got worse. I'm also struggling with the round blizzard cup* Ugh, fuck that! Jesus Christ! *throws cup on ground* My pants are falling down! I can't think right now.
Tina - Well, do you need help?
Ichi - No, I'm cool. *speading legs so pants won't fall to her ankles. I panicked* No, here. *puts down purse on ground, phone on car*
Tina - That's a white purse!
Ichi - *puts the BORROWED movies on the ground and saying,* sorry! haha ha haaaa.
Tina - Are you sure you got it?
Cricket - *smiling* Oh she's got it.
Ichi - I got it. *pulls up pants, opens car door, loads everything*
Tina - Alright, don't forget your phone, it's on your car.
Ichi - *seriously worried* Oh, thank you! I thought it was in my pocket. Oh man. *pause* hahahaha, yes, I'm okay to drive.
I definitely got it.
Bye-bye little man.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
♪: sads - see a thin pink cell phone
Cricket - *pause*
Ichi - Oops! hahahahaha. *pause*
Cricket - *a moment later* okay, go on.
Ichi - Oopookle! hahahaha
Cricket - What's Oopookle?
Ichi - I was thinking of words that maybe started with the sound 'oop!' So, as soon as I thought of it, you turned to me and I was like, why not?
Cricket - That was nice.
Ichi - Soo, haha, that's a funny word. What's your funny word?
Cricket - *doesn't understand*
Ichi - I made 'Oopookle' what's yours?
Cricket - Oopsicle.
*ichi and cricket decided that spelling*
Cricket - It sounds surprising! Oopookle!
Ichi - *surprised face* OOPOOKLE!
*Cricket and Ichi small talk*
Ichi - Hahahahha, What do you think a zombie... Haha, okay, so you're sitting here and doing what you're doing now and uh all of a sudden you hear a groaning and shuffling at your front door. And you hear everyone screaming... Would ya go in there and see what it is or would you lock your door and try to get you air conditioner out the window?
Cricket - I think the second option, yeah. Like, lock the door, brace it with the bed behind it and try to get my window and wait kind of to see if the screaming continues if there's an abrupt stop I know what happens. You know this shit at happenin'. Come on, you know what would've happened.
Ichi - I would've went out there and checked. Not joking.
Cricket - No, really, if I heard the groaning and the screams, I would probably think there's a dog that got loose in our house. Like, okay, so our dogs have gone insane.
Ichi - Hahaha, I would still go out there and check. I hear them shuffling in front of my door, I just want to know, I'll probably die. With anybody, if there's gunshots inside the house, I'll still go and check. I definitely, just kinda, want to check it out.
Cricket - I'm so glad we've never had a school shooting.
Ichi - *makes gesture to look out a door*
Cricket - Ichi would be like, 'Oh, random gunshots, let's go see!'
Ichi - I bet you a million dollars no one would stop me! Unless Amanda Stidham is there. The buttkiss. 'Now, Heather, do you really think that's a smart idea?'
*small talk until we talk about getting a weed leaf tattooed on your arm, high... Wouldn't it hurt more?*
Ichi - Naw, it'll be like a Zombie bitting down on you. 'Ahhhh! WTF!'
*laughter*
Ichi - That would be my initial reaction, "Ahh, wtf!" I'll go and check and then they'll bite me. Then I'll be like, "FUCK! Now I'm going to be a Zombie.' Of course, I would have to hide so I can become a zombie without getting eaten first so I can shuffle around and eat other people. I want to sit up in a tree and turn zombie in a tree so I could just fall down. Hahahahhaa, can you imgaine just falling out of a tree. Groaning, rustling, *groan* till I fall on my face.
Cricket - If you did survive, you wouldn't be able to walk... You'd shuffle around on your stomach.
Ichi - They'll be busy with the zombies face to face.
Ichi - Oops! hahahahaha. *pause*
Cricket - *a moment later* okay, go on.
Ichi - Oopookle! hahahaha
Cricket - What's Oopookle?
Ichi - I was thinking of words that maybe started with the sound 'oop!' So, as soon as I thought of it, you turned to me and I was like, why not?
Cricket - That was nice.
Ichi - Soo, haha, that's a funny word. What's your funny word?
Cricket - *doesn't understand*
Ichi - I made 'Oopookle' what's yours?
Cricket - Oopsicle.
*ichi and cricket decided that spelling*
Cricket - It sounds surprising! Oopookle!
Ichi - *surprised face* OOPOOKLE!
*Cricket and Ichi small talk*
Ichi - Hahahahha, What do you think a zombie... Haha, okay, so you're sitting here and doing what you're doing now and uh all of a sudden you hear a groaning and shuffling at your front door. And you hear everyone screaming... Would ya go in there and see what it is or would you lock your door and try to get you air conditioner out the window?
Cricket - I think the second option, yeah. Like, lock the door, brace it with the bed behind it and try to get my window and wait kind of to see if the screaming continues if there's an abrupt stop I know what happens. You know this shit at happenin'. Come on, you know what would've happened.
Ichi - I would've went out there and checked. Not joking.
Cricket - No, really, if I heard the groaning and the screams, I would probably think there's a dog that got loose in our house. Like, okay, so our dogs have gone insane.
Ichi - Hahaha, I would still go out there and check. I hear them shuffling in front of my door, I just want to know, I'll probably die. With anybody, if there's gunshots inside the house, I'll still go and check. I definitely, just kinda, want to check it out.
Cricket - I'm so glad we've never had a school shooting.
Ichi - *makes gesture to look out a door*
Cricket - Ichi would be like, 'Oh, random gunshots, let's go see!'
Ichi - I bet you a million dollars no one would stop me! Unless Amanda Stidham is there. The buttkiss. 'Now, Heather, do you really think that's a smart idea?'
*small talk until we talk about getting a weed leaf tattooed on your arm, high... Wouldn't it hurt more?*
Ichi - Naw, it'll be like a Zombie bitting down on you. 'Ahhhh! WTF!'
*laughter*
Ichi - That would be my initial reaction, "Ahh, wtf!" I'll go and check and then they'll bite me. Then I'll be like, "FUCK! Now I'm going to be a Zombie.' Of course, I would have to hide so I can become a zombie without getting eaten first so I can shuffle around and eat other people. I want to sit up in a tree and turn zombie in a tree so I could just fall down. Hahahahhaa, can you imgaine just falling out of a tree. Groaning, rustling, *groan* till I fall on my face.
Cricket - If you did survive, you wouldn't be able to walk... You'd shuffle around on your stomach.
Ichi - They'll be busy with the zombies face to face.
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