What're You Talking About?

Oh geez, no real theme to this post. I am just shooting the breeze. Ooh, there's a theme. Shooting a breeze. Keep that in mind.

This evening, the post will be lead by Fallon.

Attention, everyone, attention.

Fallon, you may continue...

Fallon - Yeah, I have the car details on my FACEBOOK.
Me - I don't understand where you're getting at? My receptors are off.
Fallon - Anyway, yeah, she stopped me in the hallway and said sorry for my car because she keeps abreast of my issues.
I love how she fucking used that word in everyday context.
And she somehow managed to work in catalyses reaction with her car's fuel line.
Smarty pants.

As I drove Fallon to Barnes and Noble, she said I looked very attentive while driving.
I do when someone else is in the car because I cannot put my hand where I want it (the back of the passenger seat). I did and she told me it looked like we were dating.
I cannot look cool with my hand just all limp in my lap. It wants to HOLD THINGS, it wants to be USEFUL. IT WANTS A LITTLE LOVIN'.

I went to Todd's after class while I waited to get my sister.
Jaccob said something to May and she said something back that somehow deserved a high-five.
I moved his hand so she couldn't.
He tried again.
I moved it again.
He tried once more and once more I thwarted him. So he stopped me by crossing my arms and pinning them there. I looked at the little girl and said, "See, May, this is what winning looks like."
Jaccob turned to me and asked, "Really? This is what winning looks like?"
Well, she didn't give him a high-five.
Score.

Amanda just walked into my room, from the bathroom where she was giggling, and had her mouth wide open with her eyes shut.
She then started laughing and said, "It looks like a fun puppet face."
And walked straight back out where more giggling ensued in the bathroom.

She was at my door earlier after I got out of the shower and was shaking it. I told her the robe was coming off.
She stopped rattling it and said, "Here, let me hold it in for you!" And pressed it against the doorframe.
I love this girl.

To say goodnight, Amanda just said, "Night, seester. And if I die before I wake, Heather shall get nothing from this room." And then she closed the door.

This morning, in my Bio Lab, I was following the instructions with how much mLs to put in the test tubes when I turned around to the other two in my team. This is what I turned around to hear, "Yeah, Harry, get over your parents' deaths. Geez," Tanya said.
"Yeah, your parents aren't the only ones who died," Hailey said.
"Yeah, some kids' parents are still alive and raping them every night before they sleep."
When Tanya said that, the other groups around us looked at her too.

That's all I can remember about today.
It's been good actually.
I hope you all have horrible ones so I look more interesting and funny.

Reasoning Skills With Sexism

I had a great weekend.
And, for the first time, I am not being sarcastic.
(Me - I was being sarcastic, Jaccob.
Jaccob - Your sarcasm sucks.
Me - It's just because it's so dry and I'm so intelligent.)
Friday everything worked.
Saturday fucking tired.
Sunday is/was equal to Saturday.

I bought quite a few things on Friday.
Let me explain.
There was a giant book sale for the library that Jaccob, Todd, and I went to. Jaccob bought an entire box full of books.
I had ten/eleven books.
Which included some Stephen King, RL Stine, and Animorphs.
Please, stop being jealous. Actually, I wouldn't have went if it weren't for the guys, so thanks for the books.
And Jaccob loudly said that there were Twilight books over there. I said, "Oh cooooooool..."
Then some woman stopped me to tell me I was going in the wrong direction.
And some man with an eye patch handed Jaccob a book. Told him it was an awesome sci-fi. Jaccob said okay, he would try it out. Then the guy took it back, saying it was in his box. That man was pretentiously weird. He asked what genre I liked to read. I told him mostly horror. He asked if that meant vampires - like I'm some Twilight and Vampire Diaries bitch. I told him that was sissy shit, but not in those exact words - his eye patch was enough for me. He was pretty rad for it.
When we paid, however, I had to write out a check. Now, I have special ordered my checks (since I would have to pay more through my bank anyway) and they have little pigs on them. They're cute as fuck.
The woman who was ringing me up was up in my shit with, "Why would you special order checks with pigs on them?"
I showed them to her.
"Yes, they're cute, but why? It doesn't make sense."
And when I handed the check to her, she said, "And that's how you sign your name? Geez, your bank must know you."
I looked at her seriously and said, "Yes, they know me by name."

ANYWAY, on our way out I spotted some train/car 3D cardboard project. I picked up one of each and so did Jaccob.
I couldn't get the front of the train to stick, so I had to tape it. HOWEVER, I built mine first.

I had to tape the bitch down. I also tried to make it look like the train smashed into the car. Sadly, it just looks like the train is humping the sports car. Poor things.

When I set it up, I said, "Guys, you have to be as funny as this to be counted as blog material."

That's when Todd asked if the train was humping the car.

I couldn't pass them up. This is what Jaccob did with his car. Props, man, props.

Afterwards, I won shotgun in Todd's car.
I bought the No Strings Attached album. Yes, by fucking N*Sync. Don't judge me. I lost it all those years before. I'm listening to it now.
Bring da house, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon raise the roof.
Does anyone remember that movie where Lance tried to be straight.... Even Justin tried to be cool in it. I watched it for them. Excuse me, just for Justin. He was my crush in my early teen days.
Then I switched to Eminem.
Where the transition from the "prep" to the rebel happened I will never know.

Then we went back to Todd's where he showed us a movie his mom accidentally allowed him to watch as a 10-year-old boy. It's called The Toxic Avenger. Best fucking movie I've watched this year. I cannot explain how hilarious it was.
All I kept thinking was how this explained Todd as a person for me now. It was the epitome of you, Todd-ster.
If you haven't watched it, it is on Netflix, please watch.

We did watch maybe five minutes of this awful Russian movie. I was zoning in and out of boredom with the long, over-expensive opening credz. When I came back to, I noticed the names and said, "All their names look like math equations."
The guys just nodded and soon I found out that it was just a decoration for their names and the real Russian came up. I laughed and apologized for my stupidity. In all honesty, though, that's where all the budget for the film went to.

Todd didn't like the movie Mean Girls.

I'm drinking Dunkin' Donuts pumpkin spice coffee. It's not all that. Taste more like pumpkin potpourri.

Me - If you had a chance to be a woman for the rest of your life, would you?
Scotty - See, that dips into the unknown, I would not. You can sleep with all the women in the world but you won't actually know until you are one. But, honestly, I would not be a woman because I want to be left with my reasoning skills.
Me - So you're saying that you want to be a man so you can keep your reasoning skills?
Scotty - Yes.

Shit-on-Ho

Saturday was pretty okay.

I went to work where the ad was easy (because I'm too smart for it, really).

Got off, went to run but the treadmill kept fucking with the breakers in the garage (they don't get along). So, I only got fifteen minutes in.

Let's see, what else....

I feel like I met someone at Barnes and Noble. Geeez, fuck, who was it? It was a he, but feminine. He was sort of tall and can be construed as a jack ass. He doesn't deliver punch lines well and thinks he's a punk. Oh yeah, Jaccob... I went to Barnes and Noble with Jaccob.

He was trying to find a book and I wanted to recommend one but my books are kind of on the "I'm proud a woman" side and most of them don't have slaughter or really weird ideas with horns, because that's what he bought. So, we walk around and mingle in the Christian section. He tells me what the book covers mean (mostly obedient women to their husbands) and then he comes up with, "Hey, we should buy books that we'll hate."

And we bought one for each other.

His was a great choice:

In Praise of Stay-at-Home-Moms

In case you couldn't tell, we drew on her... Although that is probably her true form. I drew the ears, cool facial hair, and the weird ears. Scotty drew the background and the horn (The Last Unicorn inspiration).

I've been highlighting and taking notes. When it's finished, I'll maybe write some down, but depends how pissed this woman makes me at the end.

Then I went to Todd's to watch them game and take notes for the "leader."

It was good -- too bad I wasn't in the game for comedic relief.

Then Jake took my phone and texted Alan with it... This is the conversation we all worked on below.

*IF YOU'RE SQUEAMISH AND EATING, DON'T FUCKING READ IT*

Upon seeing that, I exclaimed at Alan, "One out of six fucking pages?!"

(And for those who are observant, I finished the screen shots this morning -- that's why the time stamps are different.)

Then, soon after, I became so tired that I believed I was going to start hallucinating. I was actually, at one point, scared to drive home.
Then the little bit of adrenaline I had kicked in and I made it, but damn, the drive home at 230AM was very rough. Almost like I was drunk driving home -- that's what it felt like.

IN OTHER NEWS....
My stomach lining is a little bitch and can't stomach a beer anymore. FUCK YOU. That's okay though because I still have my lungs.

So, I decided I'm going to carve a fucking pumpkin. First on the list... Get a fucking pumpkin.

HALLOWEEN NEXT MONTH.
Decided that, for my costume, I'm probably going to be a 1950s housewife - create a theme for my life. Have a pin that has a book on it with a red line through it... Books make chicks think.

I think therefore I am ending this post.

YAWWWWN

So, we were all having dinner and Amanda turned to me and asked, "So, Heather, have you seen those pictures of the underwater fish?"
I give my smile, "You mean fish live underwater?"
She then goes on a rant about how some fish are mammals. I stopped listening.

Just finished playing the campaign mode in Left 4 Dead 2. That game is clever. Can't say much because I'm not an avid video game player, really, would rather do other things with my time, but I liked it.
My sister and I played split screen. A lot of fun.
Especially when I took the tongue monster out with one shot, over a fucking distance. It grabbed my sister's waist. I aimed in its general direction and shot.
I rule.
I'm happy about something that all of you have probably already done.
-HIGH FUCKING FIVE-

I did finish my book over the summer. Well, sort of. I wrote 67,299 words which equaled out to 174 pages. Now, the beginning 3 to 4 chapters sucked. No mercy there with the two girls who read it (my sister and Fallon), but they did. I'm rewriting them and hoping to add at least 20,000 more words. A whole lot of action has to happen. I don't want to give out too much information about the book, but it basically details how awesome I am.
Word count of some long stories of mine:
A Macabre Story - 85,251 (I loved this story simply because I made so many different characters and they all collaborated with each other.)
DEG VS LTFAW - 87,132 (My masterpiece in fanfiction. Too bad no one will ever read it.)
Phase 7 - 45,303 (I miss Kurushimu. I loved that character.)
Seven Relics - 67,299 (The story I was just talking about it IN CASE you couldn't make simple connections.)

I'm going to go read.
I'm reading another Dohner book. God have mercy on my soul.

Don't Ask Me

All the time I get a good, really fantastic, embarrassing moment from my friends and they immediately say, "I better not see this on your blog!"
So many good ones.
Some are dumb, but I am true to my word.
But I get to thinking about it and I'm just like, "If I don't have embarrassment, then what am I good for?"
So, Marina called me today. She hardly calls me. I thought she was dying, haha.
Anyway, she told me she bought her cousins pizza today and they had to go walk to have it. They did. So, later on, she told me to hold on. I figured they had pizza, or brought it to her. Whatev. Then I hear, "Hey, did you get it?"
I'm still cleaning the kitchen.
"Hey, are you back?"
She was speaking directly to the phone, I said, "Yeah."
"Did you get the pizza?"
I said nothing, realizing she was still talking to them.
"Tavia, do you have the pizza?"
I was still cleaning.
"Tavia, hey, Tavia. Tavia. Tavia." She was starting to sound really aggravated.
"Marina, are they supposed to be on the phone?"
She starts laughing, "I was like, 'Why isn't this girl answering me?'"
I was just laughing.
"Oh God, hahaha, man. Hold on, I'm going to call them."
I laugh in response.
"And, this better not be in your blog."
Sorry, friend, but I really wanted to remember this.

List of productive activities I accomplished today:
1. Cleaned the kitchen
2. Gave dog bath
3. Brushed said dog
4. Took a nap
5. Read some
6. Knitted some
7. Cleaned kitchen again
8. Cooked supper
9. Cleared off kitchen table
Now, #9 may seem stupid as shit, and it is, but my mother coupons. Since last year, my parents have been in the horrendous habit of cluttering our nice kitchen table with detergents, paper towels, dish soap, newspapers, coupons, briefcase, coupon bags, and lunch boxes. My sister and I hate it. Now, the difference between Amanda and me is the fact I am proactive. I cleaned off that fucking table today, meaning, I removed about 25 bottles of dish soap and made room for them on our giant shelves. I moved the trash bags she bought, the macaroni, the newspapers, the lunch boxes, and the ramen to odd points in the house. The table is now clear.

I don't know what it is about a clean kitchen table. I honestly don't. It's just like a blank piece of paper to me - anything can happen on it and it's always there in case something needs to happen, I guess. I just want it clean because I like to do my shit activities on it. Plus, when I cook myself breakfast in the morning, then I can just sit and eat and not have to scoot tons of shit out of the way.

So, Todd commented on my Summer Reading 2012 post and then, at work, we were having a debate on whether or not Ayn Rand was pretentious. Yes, Todd, she can be pretentious, if a person was to use to her as such. She's meant to take a leisure and have you think about what it means to have an "ego" in the literal meaning, the Freud meaning, and other things, but I don't want to seem pretentious. However, bunch of young know-it-alls like to ruin that, which is cool, I get like that too.
But, he went home and got some quotes, which I found quite funny:
(Just to make this clear, Todd wrote the response to the quote, not I. Ha.)

1. To say "I love you" one must first be able to say the "I."

You will also find you have to say "I" at the beginning of any sentence that uses the word "I" at the beginning of it.  Man, I was wrong.  This bitch is fucking great.  Woman is deep.  Of course to say a woman is deep one must first be able to say "woman."

Woah.  Wait.  No.  To say "I love you" one must first have a tongue and a fundamental understanding of English to say anything related to the concept of the "I" pronoun.  Guess she's not the smart after all.

Now, I watched this movie, Paper Man, yesterday and I loved it. I wouldn't watch it again, but I did it enjoy it to the point of writing this. Had some really good actors, recognizable faces I really should say. Very creative with the symbolism, the characters, and the movement of plot. A very smart movie with its use of relationships and connections throughout. It was put into a sort of comedy section of Netflix, well, movies related to Adventureland (which sucked, I couldn't make it all the way through without skipping scenes), and yeah. The imaginary friend was a great, great idea. Plus, Ryan Reynolds looks hilarious. Kind of wish I had the vivid imagination of this to picture a person with me. Don't we all... Well, except for John Nash, he lived to tell the tale.

FUCK IT ALL I AM GETTING PIMPLES AGAIN.

And what did I say when I start talking about my acne?

That's right...

Good-bye.

Summer Reading

 A/N:
- This is an exact replica of Fallon's Post.
- They are in order in which I read them.

1. Gates of Fire by Steven Pressfield - 400

This book was given to me by a friend names Jaccob. For my review, hm, it's manly as manly can be. How else could I describe a detailed history of Spartan warfare? The only thing it truly didn't disclose, via Fallon's brain, is that the commanders had sex with the boys. Honestly, how could that be intertwined with pissing on shields, dying boys, and girls who aged severely as she was separated? I did like it, it's just that historical fiction isn't my thing. I once read The Jungle by Upton Sinclair... The only thing the book has done for me has been making me look really smart whenever a history teacher asks if someone has read it. Don't get me wrong, the twelve pages of actual information were good. The rest was like a long-ass essay about the living conditions of the immigrants. I sound heartless.

2. Sacre Bleu by Christopher Moore - 403

This book had a slow, slow start. A reader would mostly be lost within all the characters who were more energetic than I could be in 19th century France. But what swayed me over with this book is the research. This book is set within the impressionist period and it is miraculous. He made the research just wonderful prose. The book was just less Christopher Moore than I expected. Of course, I was a huge fan of his earlier works and I love the fact his books are aging with him as well. It was very creative and wonderful. I remember reading A Dirty Job and closing that book with a smile. Of course, his infamous endings were nothing to smile at, but just the thought of a book about something so cliched and then he put it to the test and won. Does that make sense? Sometimes I wonder if I should stop.



3. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath - 288

In all my years of writing I have been compared to a couple of writers that I remember: lois Lowry and Molly Harper (I was angry with this comparison). And, never, ever have I been compared to this wonderful woman. Well, I guess there's no room for comparison with her. The writing is exactly what I wanted to translate in the days I wrote poetry while having an affair with fiction. I noticed in my later years that without poetry I write less like this and I don't know if I found my style and am so swamped with envy that I forget about poetry all together. To sum it up: This book is amazing and if you like to think while you read with one-liners that are simple yet complicated, it's pretty conclusive you should read this one. Plus, trying to highlight all the little, discreet moments were the protagonist goes crazy is a fun game.

4. Anthem by Ayn Rand - 100

I had my eye on Ayn Rand for awhile. I thought she was a wonderful mind by all the talk I've read. Kyle even agreed and recommended this along with The Fountainhead. I read this one first despite his recommendation. I loved it. It was short, too short. I know it is seeded in The Fountainhead, but the whole ego theme Ms. Rand had going on was simply amazing. The collectivism she tried to convey was what I once feared in adolescence, funny to think about. It took me quite a few pages to realized what 'we' really meant. I don't know what else to say about this without giving too much away. Read it. I wish I could say more and that I loved when he found that one word, the pronoun. Bah.




5. The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane by Katherine Howe - 384

I had a lengthy review here.

I read up on the author just before finishing. She did study literature in college, so that atones for the amazing flow of the story. The plot was very well thought out - everything tied together, even to the smallest child yelling something as the protagonist walked through the town. She did so well that I am now jealous.

The research was amazing for the book. I give her credz for the amount of work she had put into this and still managed to not write it like an essay for lack of energy left OR make the history sound so boring that you think this is an assigned book for class.

6. Tiger by Laurann Dohner - 291

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
There's probably nothing to say about my mental dignity.
I discovered Laurann Dohner sometime last summer while going through some ebook sight. I thought alien and human pairings would be hilarious (and they were), but I haven't been able to stop reading her. She was literally in my reading list. I've read at least ten books of her since then and I feel so ashamed and happy. She is a writer, but it gets redundant (and I do too trying to describe her to my friends). She drops emotions like a dime. But I think she taps into that raw wanting women want from men. I think that's what I got into her. She does good fantasy writing. Mental fantasy, not the genre. Because mental fantasy is just saying, "It doesn't have to make sense to make a woman happy."

7. Ral's Woman by Laurann Dohner - 103

I did only buy this one since it was free on amazon. I didn't like the woman character too much. She was so whiny and it felt like she couldn't properly express herself without acting like a hoe-bag or a child. That's the majority of Mrs Dohner's books though -- whiny women characters who can't get their pants on for more than a page to think properly through the situation they're in. I know it's a mental fantasy, but damn, there has to be more sense built in to one woman than what this books radiates. If all women thought like this, there wouldn't have been a movement toward something better. About the plot... Boring, but I think it was the first one of he Zorn Warrior Series so there's much to say there.


8. The Vampire Armand by Anne Rice - 457

This book was just fucking wonderful. Now, mind you, I don't know if she gets paid by word or page count because there were chapters that could have literally been ripped from the book and it wouldn't have made a bit of difference. One chapter was literally about profiling all the past vampires from all the other books. A fucking catalogue about vampires I never gave a shit about anyway. Queen of the Damned sucked, people, fucking sucked. Anyway. The one reason I love Anne Rice is because of the way she expresses time in prose. The prose is mature and ambiguous (to me). I love the flow, the descriptions, the emotions felt in the writing. She's a miraculous woman and whenever I read her I cannot gather myself to write one word. She makes me that jealous.I wish I could meet her. I probably wouldn't be able to utter a word.

9. Shotgun Gravy by Chuck Wendig - 109

Todd introduced me to this book on the basis I resembled the main character because my lack of physical contact in the human world. Which is fine. And her smart mouth properly. The girl can't help it. However, it was good. It was written by a man who spews out more drama than reality TV, but it was good. I liked all his characters and that's hard to come by for me. I also like some of his crude imagery for a story that was crude and filled with dark humor (my favorite color of comedy). I would actually like the other installments. And, believe it or not, the dialogue is believable. Ooh, yeah, his action scenes aren't that bad. They actually make sense, but sometimes he wants a mean character, then has them have feelings again at the last minute - that technique never works for me. Despite the drama in every sentence and the guns in everyone's face, pay the 99 cents.

10. Burning Up Flint by Laurann Dohner - 194

I believe this is the first installment to the many great-ideas-but-not-properly-executed books. Let me tell you why they're great ideas first: Altered humans with cyborg parts. Reminded me of Cyborg from Teen Titans. great idea. Sexy idea. Men were smart but she made them where they didn't talk much and usually could shut the bitch up quickly. I read Touching Ice before any of the others here and below. It was marvelous. She could have added much more, but it had more feeling than the 'I'm gonna fuck you because I've been horny for months.' Bad: 1. The technical names were awful. 2. She said there were domes on Saturn. Wtfh, bitch, do research. Saturn is a planet of gas, which makes smog, which no human life would be sustainable. Should've said mars. Watch Stephen Hawking programs.


11. Melting Iron by Laurann Dohner - 204

This is actually under Touching Ice. I loved the feeling of it and she had better imagery than what I have ever read of her. She used more than 'Came hards.' It was refreshing. Now, Iron, in other books, was a dick and she purposely made him like that, I guess, but she always pulls back to his core character in other books than this one. She has these characters in other books, but when they have one of their own, the character turns to the same man from every single one of her other books. I am so tired of reading, "You are mine." Literally. Always said in every one of her books. It would've been fine if she then didn't make the main girl so fucking annoying you wish the cyborgs wouldn't ripped off her head. Literally. She was fine then she goes batshit. I was tired of this book 100 pages in.


12. The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty by Anne Rice - 272

I got this because a woman I was working mentioned this after discussing 50 Shades of Grey (never fear, I will never read it). I bought all three but now I don't think I can finish them. I know I've already said this, but I feel as if I have to repeat it. It's so plainly humiliating. I don't know how Anne Rice thinks of any of this. She seems to get darker within each of her books through the years. This was frighteningly scary. I wonder if she did research of experienced some of this herself. There's so much spanking going on that I can't properly read from all the flashbacks to childhood. Then it's disgusting to read in the mindset of a spiteful child. Ha. It was a spin on a fairytale, like Once Upon a Time. However, I would rather watch something like this than to be submitted to watching one more minute of Once. 



13. Stealing Coal by Laurann Dohner - 222

This one came right after the Melting Iron in the Cyborg series. See, she makes Coal's appearance in Melting Iron. I was like, "That could be a good one."

Man, I just call 'em out wrong all the time.

It was awful. She focused too much on her both emotionally abused characters to really let them get to know each other. It's sad. The dialogue in this book is extremely awful and unrealistic that I just ended up scanning most of it. It was paragraphs of one character talking about their past. So. Fucking. Annoying. No one talks like that. Do not get me started on the "That was easy" button pressed in every chapter. Oh, she also takes her evil character back five notches in this one.

14. The House of Tomorrow by Peter Bognanni - 354

FUCKING FANTASTIC. The author knows how great it was, but seriously, everyone buy a copy. You guys can read a synopsis but this the epitome of good contemporary work. His description, prose, characters, realism, fantasies, ideas, and the morphing of Buckminster's ideas and the chapters were impeccable. I continue to think of this books days after I read it and still think of scenes that had interlocked to the ending. The one true thing I did not like about this book was the sister, fuck, forgot her name already. She was annoying. I don't know if Bognanni only knows girls like that, he liked one long ago as selfish and slutty. I just couldn't stand her. I was hoping some freak radiation accident would've happened at the dome and she would've melted or something. No such luck. I don't know what else to say that hasn't been said. I wish it could be made into a movie so I could see the Dome as its finish product.

15. Slade by Laurann Dohner - 324

I had an entire review for this planned but now I can't remember half of it. Oh well, here I go on the fly... This was actually okay aside from her lack of knowledge of hillbillies, I think. It's kind of insulting when some authors just assume that the raciest nuts are southerners. Which, they have a basis, yes, but over and over and over again do I hear about only people with southern drawls are going after half beast, half man. And that's what was following Trish and Slade after wrecking their vehicle. It wouldn't have been so bad if she hadn't of purposely made them stupid in some parts - oh well. What I liked about this is there are only about four sex scenes and only half of them made sense. If I was a girl, I wouldn't have sex in the woods, after a car wreck, while inbred people are after us. Hey, I just may be the needle in the haystack. Actually an okay book.

16. Female Chauvinist Pigs: Women and the Rise of Raunch Culture by Ariel Levy - 212

I will leave a moment for the reader to give their eye roll.... .... .... All better? I bought this book because, well, I fucking wanted to read it and I did. I loved the examples she uses, as constant themes, Playboy, CAKE, ex-porn stars/strippers, and, in general, pop culture. I had to agree with Ariel Levy that pop culture is the main markerting structure to young women who never experienced the introduction to the sexual market, instead the girls were born into it - this is the only thing they knew. I feel bad for young girls today, having to constantly feel in competition with other girls - that sexiness is the only power we hold. Levy brought up a great example that we put sexiness on this pedestal. We do not know the porn stars, we do not know if they even have thoughts. All the could be are robots. We romanticized this image and we want to feel that image, the want and desire from other people. But those women, who were more than likely sexually abused in their past, are paid. They are paid and remain poor for most of their lives. They do it so they don't starve, or feel their only other quality is attractiveness on screen.

17. Women by Charles Bukowski - 304

I really like this man, simply because he's so easy to read. I think readers and writers often times mistake simple as mundane. I believe when anyone, whether age or maturity can understand a book together, that's the main point of writing it. I like Charles Bukowski because a farmer can pick him up off a shelf and understand the theme, the plot, there's no guessing. I liked women because, although the protagonist uses them, the women are very strong themselves. The only thing I did not like about the book was the early pimple-popping. I had to stop reading for awhile. Now, what I also liked was the fact that although Henry Chinaski was the text-definition of protagonist, he was the antagonist to the women. In the book he knew he was shit and it wasn't until he found good ones did he care or want to give a hint of change. It's good if you want something light to read and want to be able to relate to the male side of things - which was interesting to read. You don't get that much, however, women have their point of view on sex for an entire genre called "Romance."

18. Redeeming Zorus by Laurann Dohner - 169

I have been redundant in my reviews for Dohner's books, and I apologize, but damn, this is like reading some cheap, cliched love story. She could've done well with this. Instead she took a hateful character and made him a puppy in half a page. There are no complexeties to these characters, there's hardly back story, or emotions. It was like reading something by a teenager. Everyone is just attracted to everyone and don't mind having sex because some woman took off her shirt. She even didn't make the transition of his new personality that difficult. Zorus was literally like, "Okay, I'm nice to humans now because you're unique and you're tighter than my women." I really want a sit-down with this author. Hot damn, this book sucked. I was really looking forward to it, too. It didn't even tell of the happenings with Coal from the previous book, and it even fucking mentioned it in Coal's book! I think she was made to write this, because it had nothing else going for it. Nothing happened and the girl's always get so fucking annoying. Stay away from this.

19. Taunting Krell by Laurann Dohner - 238

I'm going to admit this almost beats the Touching Ice. She actually made a story with the main girl other than being kidnapped. Well, she kind of was, but she wanted to be, I don't know -- you'd have to know the backstory. And the backstory she gave the protagonist was amazing. She stepped it up, but that's all. She made a really great scene between Krell and Cyan in the beginning, when she was forced to stay at his place, but after that, down hill. It felt like she was forcing it again, making some human girl with D-breasts fall for the guy in charge. I admit that this was actually very well done. She connected detailed, she made an awesome story, and she had a more mature feel, until the ending. She seems to always hit the romanic side of 14-year-olds everywhere. I wish I could collect her readers and make a census on age. All the older women would love the story line, all the younger ones would like sex and the stupid fucking endings. How about some blood shed? About the two get dismembered in a fight and the only way to save them would have to combine their body parts? I'd read that. Ha, it'll be full of masturbation for love scenes.

20. Kissing Steel by Laurann Dohner - 184

This book finishes my mission to finish the Cyborg Seduction. Ha! I don't know if I should actually mark that as an accomplishment. Anyway. One could tell that this was definitely an earlier work. There wasn't much happening besides jealously and waves of orgasms. I couldn't really get into it since the guy on the front cover resembles Fabio so much. Not that that's a bad thing, but it does remind me of all those jokes and corny romances I was introduced to as a young teen. Oh my, maybe I just found my root. Ha, this book was so lack-luster that I'm rambling about my psychosis with romance novels. I just wish she had a mentor or something to guide her writing. I feel that, in the later series, she wants to branch out more of the same story line of a burly man wanting a small, defenseless woman to have countless sex with. However, if she had someone, I'm willing to bet she could branch out to young adult romance - but without the guys being hung like a horse.

21. Fury by Laurann Dohner - 376

Okay, so, I had to repeat to myself that this was the first book of the New Species. First book. First book. First book. So you have the typical hot, small human girl who falls in love with a burly man who just can't seem to control his erections or his protective instincts. Great, that's just required for all her books. BUT, here's the fun part, everyone hates them. Yay! I mean, I've never read a book that had so much useless drama and countless scenes where Fury had to get furious. (Everyone catch what I did there?) I mean, if some blonde hair chick caused me that much drama I'd seriously kick her ass to those hick protestors. I think this book did me in to reading more. You know kicked my habit. I was so disappointed. I was going to immediately buy Justice because I REALLY loved his character. But, amazon had some critics like me and they said STAY THE FUCK AWAY, so I'm forcing myself to unless it becomes free. I'm not paying money to read more of this shit. Next book I'll read will be something substantial.

22. Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams - 216

 Holy shit, I loved this book. It was recommended by Jaccob and I am very thankful I finally decided to read it. See, in high school everyone was batshit about this book and, on principal, I refused to read it or watch the movie. Of course, the idea of sci-fi made my external hard drive fry, but yeah. It was so funny. Nonsensical funniness that had me put down my book to laugh. There were two sentences in the book that had me bust out twice at mere thought of reading it. I will quote now, "One of Zaphod's heads looked away. The other one looked round to see what the first one was looking at, but it wasn't looking at anything very much." Now, to get down to business, the sheer creativity had me. Even his writing style was quirky. I have to say Marvin is my favorite - he reminds me of me so much. For those who haven't read it, I demand you do so. 


23. Raine on me by Laurann Dohner - 214

Oh God, another Laurann Dohner book. I swear I need to stop. I tell myself that with the ending of each book and it never, ever fucking happens. This book was as if her mentality was stuck at 15-years-old. Seriously. As if a 40-year-old woman never learned that adults don't use contracts for sex or that adults will actually talk it out if their mentality is of their age. Now, this books is about some bitch's husband that died and left her a shitton of cash. She goes to some hick town, feels sorry for her dusty vagina, and offers some semi-Native American 20,000 grand to save his ranch IF he exchanges the ultimate sex on her. OMG GAIS, he agrees. For two months, five days a week, or six, don't care, he agrees to rock her vagina. Oh no though, they fall in lusty love without knowing if he's ultimately a serial killer of old, middle-aged blondes, but likes to sex them first. No, they fall in love over penetration and shit happens that only 15-year-olds would not talk about and use the power of ass-u-m-ption to ruin  love. 

24. The Restaurant at the End of The Universe by Douglas Adams - 255

This, if I had to choose, I think is funnier than its predecessor. A lot of shit went down too, compared to the first. He went all out to give Zaphod much needed word count, and even gave Ford and Arthur a test of their friendship. Now, what I didn't like were the last thirty or so pages. Didn't seem like they fit - they were just rushed and bah, didn't like them. However, the actual restaurant part of the book was amazing. I loved his ideas for it and I loved his whole theme to it. Ack, makes me jealous of his ideas and sheer creativity for all things outer spacey. Even within the book he focused more on the Zaphod having two heads deal and it made me a happy little girl. Uh, excuse me, young woman. Trillian did not have many words dedicated to her, and neither did Arthur for the overall analysis. However, a lot more places and landmarks were used in this book to make up for the lack of Homo sapiens running around and talking.

Total Page Count: 6159

Headstrong Peace

Yesterday I went to see Brave. Now, we all know how awfully awful I am at giving an open-minded critique, giving all the excuses in the book to turn the movie around and give it more of an understanding nod than something I went blank in toward the end.

SORT OF SPOILERS -- NO ENDING TOLD.

The first half of the movie was fantastic. Really. The part right before the pastry. Up until the pastry and its latter happenings I was enthralled and excited. Let me tell you why I was so excited to see this: I saw a preview for it, with all its NO plot points to be given and scenes that were so open-ended that one couldn't even begin a plot point. Well, the one I watched gave me the impression that Merida was going to wish her life differently and be trapped in that forest until she figured out that she loved family, or another Disney-related tale. BUT, I was very wrong.

I did not really like the twist and I know it was a child's movie, I get that, but, damn, I did not like it. Just seemed to me like Brother Bear but with girls. Even the commercials, the one replayed at Target, wasn't in the movie - no cool-as-shit scenes with her braving the fight. I wish I could like it more. I just wanted to warn in case the mass thought the movie was my version and you will be disappointed.

And they put so much emphasis on the archery which really wasn't used to her potential and that disappointed me a lot. A lot. A lot.

HOWEVER, the graphics were amazing - all the hair in the movie (excluding Merida) was exquisite. So detailed and fine. I loved it.

AND, the jokes were really, really good. A lot of adult humor.

IN OTHER NEWS, a little more about yesterday:

I went to work and had to withstand a mantra of children's cries. They were just gaining sound to become almost deafening. Just like the Max Payne games on the PS2 where the baby is crying so loudly you probably had to turn down the television. I went home in the 90-degree weather. I have no air-conditioning in the car, so I was hot coming home. I had promised my sister this day and she was excited to eat dinner and see a movie. So, she was all ready when I got home all red-faced and sweaty. I got ready, sat on the couch a bit under a fan and then headed out, once more, in the midday heat. We went to the mall with busy, pushy people to look for a purse. It was hot in there too and the people just don't know how to fucking look before the turn around so they don't bump into you. Ack.

Then the small pounding in my head started.

I bought a purse that was finally cross-body. Of course, Fossil had one that was the epitome of what I want, but it was 80 bucks with the sale and the new me cannot afford to splurge like that anymore. Poor old me, quite literally.

We went out to eat. It was good, aside from the jock server who hardly showed up.

Then the movies. Here's the story:

My sister hates sitting beside people, well, kids. Kids usually hone in on her for some reason or another and she attracts them like a magnet. So, we chose the four seats to themselves. The one I had was probably the only broken seat in the theater. It reclined without being forced to. My sister asked if I wanted to move but I began to form this headache and the reclining worked for it UNTIL.... A mom, dad, and two sons decided to sit behind us. Of course the leggy mother wanted to sit behind my seat, and the dad at the end which is a poor choice since both boys had a big gulp. They had to use the bathroom twice, which I had to sit up in my seat and one grabbed my chair and pulled me backwards. Sounds funny but I was aggravated. Twice this happened, so that means four times in all of them coming and going. Then, in the last five minutes of the movie, my alarm clock for my birch control goes off and I hear the mom groan behind me. I was literally a snap away from saying, "I have an a alarm to control what comes out of my vagina so I don't have heathens."

I honestly forgot about it. That's why I set it, ha.

When Amanda and I left, however, Fallon was there and it was a nice surprise :)

But when my sister and I went to Stakz the headache was taking me over. Even light was getting harder to adjust to. By the time I reached home I was nauseous from the migraine. It was like a laser beam was disintegrating my brain with its little bee-buzzing sound. Ack. Took two excedrin. Helped for a couple of hours then it started to come back. I immediately went to sleep.

Amanda - And it was stiff-ling in there. Stiff-ling.

Me - Wait, do you mean, stifling?

Amanda - *blank look* What?

Me - That's not how you pronounce that?

Amanda - Geez, my entire life and no one has corrected me... My entire life.

Update on the reading list!

10. Burning Up Flint - Laurann Dohner

11. Melting Iron - Laurann Dohner

12. The Claiming of Sleeping Beauty - Anne Rice

13. Stealing Coal - Laurann Dohner

So, yeah, I am going to take a break on the erotica novels. Although, I don't know if I can make it through the last two books of the Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by Anne Rice. I was reading it and getting humiliated. See, modesty isn't dead... Just very unattractive.

I am now on The House of Tomorrow by Peter Bognanani. Very promising so far, if I liked music it features.

FATIGUE

Me - I love amazon. I usually, for something to do, go through and add books to my wish list.
Marina - Really? That's what you do?
Me - Yeah, I have an entire library in there.
Marina - I wish you were ready.
Me - For what?
Marina - To fly.

I did fall over laughing. She was completely serious, metaphorically, but serious. It just came out of the blue.

Books I've read so far:
1. Gates of fire by Steven Pressfield.
2. Sacre Bleu by Christopher Moore
3. The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath
4. Anthem by Ayn Rand
5. The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane
6. Tiger by Laurann Dohner (That's right, I like romance.)
(WARNING: I WILL BE UPDATING THIS. I WILL WASTE EVERYONE'S TIME.)
I'm reading The Vampire Armand as of now. I ordered the trilogy to Sleeping Beauty by Anne Rice. Her prose and that erotica are going to be exquisite. However, I am determined to read the entire Vampire Chronicles before I start on those because I'll be in such a fit of why can't I write so romantically that I would need to read those last. Did any of that make sense? I am dreadfully fatigued.

The other morning driving to work I thought of a scene in my head. I often times do:
"So, I've been having weird dreams lately."
Uninterested friend asks anyway, "What about?"
"Aliens. I've got to stop reading on them."
Friend gives weird look.
"Not fun facts. Geez. What would those be? Aliens live in outer space or Aliens can travel through fucking galaxies so they're obviously brighter."

That is all.

Nap Taste In My Mouth, Yuck

FINALLY FINISHED - HALLELUJAH. (Now I'm listening to it, ha.)
REVIEW:
The Good - I read up on the author just before finishing. She did study literature in college, so that atones for the amazing flow of the story. The plot was very well thought out - everything tied together, even to the smallest child yelling something as the protagonist walked through the town. She did so well that I am now jealous.

The research was amazing for the book. I give her credz for the amount of work she had put into this and still managed to not write it like an essay for lack of energy left OR make the history sound so boring that you think this is an assigned book for class.

The writing style took a bit to get into for me. I am more of "get to the damn point" girl. Katherine Howe is the definition of a woman writer, which isn't a bad thing - just a taste you can be born with or not. I am not. She writes beautifully but strays too much on innate detail, in my opinion.

The Bad: It was her first book. She took so many easy-way-outs when she could've stretched and made it better with the main relationship. In one scene, Connie was floating across water in the dead of night, alone with her dog. Then, she bumps into another figure and it's Sam, the boy from town. "That was easy."

The antagonist wasn't evil enough and it seemed like she was toying with the idea to the end until the end where she mashed it together.

The relationship, lover wise, wasn't great. It could have been, but they really didn't bond over anything.

The characters were overdramatic. If I had wrote it, my characters would have thought all of it was amazing, just like me.

She spends a page with the character lost in thought and making tea. This isn't Lord of the Rings... Only Tolkein can get by with having a character dancing on a table for three pages in that tiny, single-spaced font.

Overall: I'd recommend it to people. 3.5/5 stars, I guess - never gave a star rating before.

IN OTHER NEWS...
Dad - *From his bedroom* I'm getting new maps for Battle Field 3.
Me - *From living room chair* Know what would be cool? Submarine battles. I'd play that.
Dad - Ooh, you're right.
Me - I know.
Amanda - *From kitchen table* What would be cool?
Me - Submarine board on Battlefield.
Amanda - Ooh, you're right.
Me - They're going to have a board like that.
Amanda - Ooh, serious?
Me - Yeah. *I tried to bite off my smile*
Amanda - Omg, I'm so excited. *raises voice* I'm going to be playing it!
Dad - Playing what?
Amanda - The submarine board.
Me - Yeah, I told her about the submarine board, Dad. *Then I start to really laugh.*
Amanda - *face falls*You suck.

I have done nothing but read today. I even read at work while my fatigue was slowly diminishing the little memory center I have working. Well, hippocampus and frontal cortex. Sometimes I think I don't remember damaging them. ... Anyone smiling? Anyway, clocked out of work - fixing to drive out of parking lot when I remembered I had a cart of unfolded show boxes that needed to be put back. How forgetful am I? Needless to say, I went back and fixed my time.
Wow, can't believe how boring that was.

Earlier, while reading, an ambulance passed with a high screech siren and my cat, who had been nearly asleep, immediately jumped up and ran off the bed to the middle of my room and simply stood there. He was perking his head in near circles. It was hilarious. Poor thing.

TRANSIT OF FUCKING VENUS TOMORROW.
Today was a comedy of errors because, for the second time in a month, I forgot my debit card at home and didn't realize it until I was out of my car to get gas.
Then couldn't pick up supper for my sister.
Then couldn't buy solar glasses, which I was going to hunt down today.
It's like the universe, in preparation, decided today was not plentiful in the fiscal situation.

Well, ladies and germs, time for me to retire.

Red and Purple Do Match

Today has been nothing but an onslaught of my thoughts and everything in between.

At work, I walked into a conversation with Janet (a sweet old woman) and Jose (the cleaning crew).
"...then I told them I was going to leave and talk with my husband."
"How did you find out?"
"Jack told me it was the wrong bank. Good thing I didn't get ill, otherwise I would have looked more like an idiot."
Janet then turned to me, "Hey Heather! I went to the wrong bank and demanded my money."
Bernie walked back there also, changing out batteries in her equipment.
Jose was asking, "So, do you have anymore stories?"
Janet looked up to the side then said, "Well, there was this one time I didn't know I was getting pulled over."
Bernie laughed, "I love this one!"
Jose asked, "You didn't know you were getting pulled over?"
Janet laughed, watching Bernie, "Well, no. I was just driving down 31W, from Kroger when he came up behind me and flashed his lights. I just thought he needed to go around so I slowed down and kind of pulled over to let him around me. He didn't; he just kept flashing those lights. Then he kept following me farther down, so I stuck out my hand to wave him around."
Bernie laughed, face turning red.
Janet finished, "That's when his sirens went off and I thought, 'Geez, what does he want?' Eventually though, I did pull over, after driving ALL the way down 31W."
Jose laughed and I was shaking my head.
Janet continued, "I one time paid at a drive-thru and left my food there. I once paid for gas and just drove off without it. One time at a job I got lost coming back from lunch. They called me back to work twice. After about half an hour I just left. I said, 'Forget this, I can't even find my way back!'"
Jose looked stunned, "How old were you?"
"Oh, I was teenager with that job thing."
"Oh, so this has always been an issue and not recently?"
"Oh no, I've always been like this."
Janet is Janet.

Todd and I have an ongoing tradition of harmlessly pranking one another at work. He'll come by and turn my shoe carts around when I'm actually working. Or, he'll pull my cart down one of the main aisles while I distracted in another. Or, call me at the fitting room and say something nonsensical and hang up.
Sometimes I pull his carts away, or slide things away from his grasp, or give him calls over the walkie for phone pick up when nothing is on the line.
It's on, little man.
For working in mens, when I wanted to be in shoes (that's right, Todd, I WANTED TO BE THERE), he gave me this (well, not gave, but let it flutter over my shoulder in the breakroom):

Man my legs hurt so badly. I'm sitting and they're still throbbing.

I actually organized all my French papers from past semesters and organized the ones I needed to study by the dates I wrote down in my planner. I should really be a planner because I have mad skillz.

Fallon and I hung out today at Barnes and Noble.
She had me buy a book, The Physick Book of Deliverance Dane. I will immediately read it after I finish Sacre Bleu!, which I'm going to read after this entry.

Perhaps I'll have something interesting later.
Ha, doubt it peeps.

4 Non Blondes

So, curls are out, did you guys know that? So last week. You all should see the different layers - they're not just like "here's a layer, and here's one," there's no start point - love it. I said, "70s shag." Besides, it'll never look as good as it did walking out of the salon, but that's always the case.

Christopher Moore came out with a new book. Didn't know that until I walked into Barnes and Noble. I bought it (that's why I texted you, Fallon, ha - seven dollars off with discount and 20% off). Sacre Bleu. Can't wait to read it. Two more weeks of school, well, should be saying ten days! I am so excited. I need to get started studying for my finals next week - not that hard - only two, but still. I want this fucking semester over with.

For class we had to write plays (ten-minutes). I wrote about woman liberation. Ha. Just three bitches sitting at a table. My sister said she's heard it all before about men and that made me sad. Well, I guess the theme of it all.

My father has to play his fucking games with max volume. What an ass.

Oh, we have to submit at least one poem to a publication tomorrow in creative writing. What I found with trying to find a publication is that everyone is electronic and he's making us mail it. I think young men and women everywhere should have a giant intervention for people over 40, telling them how the world has changed - more than HD and having remotes that work for every electronic in the house.

Stormed all last night. Wasn't bad because I didn't have to be up at 5AM, but lightning hit something and this loud crashing sound happened, shaking our floors. My poor dog almost died of fright haha. After that, both animals slept with me (well, dog on floor).

Anyway, I have to continue making notes on an already boring video with a bunch of white scholars talking about Hemingway. I am already tired from all this PMS. Go me.