♪: the lonely island - i'm on a boat

Let me start off with November 2/3.
Me and Pedro kicked it in the train, so you know what we did in there *nodnodwinkwink.*

Me - I can't believe she tazed you. You must've been really pushy with her.
Pedro - Ha, it wasn't like that. Um, we all went back to, uh, these people's apartment. And these girls are really retarded drunk. Like, bitchy.
Me - Ohhh.
Pedro - Yeah. And this girl comes out and starts yelling at me. I was like, she was like, yelling at me and she had a test tomorrow. I wasn't making any noise and my brother was drunk blah blah. Yelling and stuff, and I was like, "Okay, if you stop yelling at me, I won't do anything."
The girl said, "I know, I know."
And this other girl, the whole night she was trying to make my brother jealous.
Me - Like what?
Pedro - I guess she likes him....
Me - She, she was with you to make your brother jealous?
Pedro - No, like...
Me - Yes.
Pedro - N--
Me - Do you mean yes?
Pedro - Really? She asked me if I knew any tips to make him jealous. And, uh, I was like, "Well, I do know a couple ways to make him jealous, you know." She was like, "How?" I said, "I'm not gonna tell you, but I'm letting you know that I know." And she, "Tell me." "I'm not going to tell you." She went to go get a taser and she said, "Tell me." And I was like, she wasn't going to taser me. So, I said no and she tasered me!

Me - So, have you seen that show?
Pedro - No, why would I?
Me - Well, it's about this one man..
Pedro - Oh God, you're not going to explain it to me, are you?

So, after all that and we go driving for a bit around SG, after Pedro sporadically throws up my emergency brake and shifting me into different gears as I'm driving, we're sitting in the parking lot across from the Library.
About 2AM, a Sheriff pulls up.
My heart lurches because I'm holding a quarter bag.
"How're you doing tonight?"
"Fine," I reply without missing a beat.
"Who's in the car with you?"
"Just me and Pedro."
Pedro perks as the cop raises his voice in a really happy, creepy way, "Hey, Pedro, how ya doin'!?" He shines his flashlight into the car, on Pedro, giving him a one over (probably to check if he's clothed).
Pedro shifts his eyes, confused, replies, "Fine."
"Anyone else in the car with you?" He shines his flashlight into the backseat.
"No."
"Have y'all been smoking dope?"
I laugh, "No."
"So, what're you doing?"
"Sitting here," I say.
"Talking and all that?"
"Yes."
"Do you have any Dope and guns?"
Pedro starts, "Lots---"
But I stop him and finalize, "Nope."
"May I see your ID?" He only asks me. And, as I'm reaching into the backseat for my wallet, the Sheriff asks, "Where do you guys live?"
"Smiths Grove," I off-handedly say.
"Oh, so, from around here?
I nod my head.
"Pedro?"
Pedro answers, "Yeah, I'm from Boulder Rock."
"Oh, yeah, then."
He looks at my license, holds it up in the air, to the streetlight, then hands it back to me and asks, "So, you're sure you don't have any guns or dope?"
Me and Pedro laugh, but I answer, "Nope, I'm positive."
And he gets in his car and leaves.

November 3/4
I kicked it with Cricket after work. She had a telescope.
So, she does have a long walk to her front porch. The walkway is covered with leaves, as is her entire yard. I park and am shuffling in my car for a bit and then start to walk to her house. I'm walking and just thinking when I believe I hear EXTRA footsteps with mine. I stop, so does the other.
At this point, I'm thinking it's an animal and I keep going, smiling to myself for believing I was in some teen horror flick.
But then the leaves start to rustle and this time, it's closer. I stop and look around the yard. There is a human figure in the darkness walking toward me with a toboggan on. I hold my breath until I realize it's just Cricket, lumbering around. Ahhh.
Not even inside the house yet, we do the dirty deed, right outside her front door.
So, after a bit more, and the joint is finished, we go inside.
We decided to play candyland.
As I'm putting my little ginger guy on the board, I look up and she's looking through the manual.
Me - Do you not remember how to play?
Cricket - Making sure.
Me - are you serious? Were you seriously looking at the instructions?
Cricket - Yeah, it's been a long time since I played.
Me - all you do is draw a -- it's from ages THREEE AND UPP. Meaning a three-year-old can look and know--
Cricket - Draw your card.
Me - Wait, what special tactic would that book tell you to do this game? *draws card* I'm purple bitch. Man, there's no dice to roll.
*after a couple of card draws*
Me - This game, so many tricks, I don't understand it. Hahahhaa, what were you seriously doing with that book?
Cricket - *smiles*
Me - You and Pedro both just love to keep me going!
I was kicking her ass. Toward the end, the single colored squares would be doubles and the doubles would be triples. I did that for like five minutes and she didn't even notice >:)
Then, as I won, Cricket says, "That was fun." And immediately puts up the game. Didn't even ask if I wanted to play it again.

I was hungry because I was hungry before I came, so we went into town.
I stopped at a green light, WHICH WAS RED AS I WAS COMING UP ON IT.
I ran a redlight, and my face, Cricket says, was fucking hilarious. I was straight horrified.
Then we went to Denny's and saw our old friend, Bonnie, working... She was our waitress. In the back, I could hear her talking to her coworkers. One conversation, I told Cricket about:
Me - She just said, 'I just ate half his fries, could you drop me more? Oh, thank you!' Can you believe that? Just eating some guy's fries.
So, she comes out and holding this burger and fries. It went to a man sitting behind Cricket and across from me.
Cricket and I start cracking up.
I made a paper airplane. I threw it at Bonnie. She wadded it up.
I was going to make her work for her tip. Meaning, I was going to wave it at her and if she could grab it, she could have it. She told me, "It's not high school anymore, Heather."

We went back to Cricket's and watched As Told By Ginger. I LOVE THAT FUCKING SHOW HIGH, IT'S AWESOME AS SHIT.
Then I left after a bit.
And here's the biggest PLOT TWIST EVER.
Cricket's road is very dark and the only turn offs are other roads that look the same as the roads before. There are only drive ways and fields. So, I'm going around this curve and this Sheriff is going the opposite way. As I'm straightening up, I notice it was the Sheriff. As he is behind me, I flash my eyes to rearview mirror and immediately notice he stopped in THE MIDDLE OF THE FUCKING ROAD and does a complete turn around and speeds up to catch me. At the exact moment I noticed he was turning around, I strapped on my seatbelt and gulped. I have a half joint left and my eyes were pink because the eyedrops were wearing away. Like I said, there's no where where he could pull me off. So, this Sheriff rode my ass, quite literally, for about 3-5 miles (WHICH IS FOREVER AT 45MPH).
Then, as we were coming up to my old high school parking lot, he flashes his lights. I got the whole treatment except the sirens.
I'm so fucking nervous I'm shaking.
I park in a space and he parks behind me.
In my side mirror I could see his pants and that masculine flashlight.
That's when he was standing at my window and I noticed he was THE SAME FUCKING SHERIFF FROM THE NIGHT BEFORE. It's about 230AM.
He flashes the light at my face, again.
"Oh, man, crap, you're not the one."
After the initial shock I was pulled over, I noticed he was the Sheriff from YESTERDAY NIGHT/MORNING with Pedro, I instantaneously deflate my entire person. "Really?"
"Yeah, I was in a chase with this red car and you're obviously not it. I'm sorry." He paused here, looking up at the sky. He lowered his head to me when he questioned, "Where you headed?"
I snapped out an answer, "Home."
"Where were you coming from?"
"A friend's house."
"Where does she live?"
"In Anna."
"Oh, well, okay." He goes to step away and then turns on his heels and he asked me the last question, "Have you been drinking tonight?"
"Nope." And I smiled.
"Okay, I appreciate it."
"You're welcome."
I drive off and he does too, going the opposite way.

What're the fucking odds?

ps - That was the first time I have ever been pulled over and it was because of mistaken identity.