Oh fuck yes

I baby sat for the first time since the beginning of my life in the womb. Now, I know you guys know how awkward I am around kids, and if you don't then... I'm fucking awkward around kids. Todd's girl is 2-years-old. Potty trained. And a very good listener. That's right, Todd, I make her sound like a puppy.

Todd, you're my friend. If you find this distasteful I will, by all means, take it down and keep it for me, alone.

It started at 7:30PM with her having to poop. I'm like sure, I don't care, go do your business. But she's two, I need to remember this. She's only been on this earth for two years and for one year she was helpless as a legless and armless Homo sapien. She tells me to wait in the doorway.
"No, I'll wait in here. I can still see you."
"But I can't see you."
"No, you can." I was trying everything to not watch some small girl poo.
"No, come stand right here!" She leads me to the doorway to the small hallway that is less than three feet away from the bathroom. I oblige and grab a book off Alura's little library. I start to read it with my back turned and I hear her; a little while later she's done. She gets off. I tell her to wipe. She argues and I think, 'I am not looking for proof,' so she wins.
Five minutes later she has to do it again.
We have the same routine.
As I'm standing there and hear her, she suddenly giggles and says, "I made a tortilla!"
Only in my head do I ask, 'What the fuck is a tortilla? That doesn't make sense with a human's shit.'
She gets off and stands there looking at me with her shorts down. I ask, "What?"
"Wipe me."
"No, wipe yourself."
"No, you have to do it."
"No, you can do it."
She rips off one square of toilet paper and brings it to me, with her shorts still down. "Here, wipe me."
I take it, "No, little one, this isn't enough."
She then argues she's not a little girl. I tell her she's right, that she's a big girl.
I take her back to the bathroom where I get more toilet paper, an adequate amount for her toddler butt and say, "Here, stick this between your cheeks and move up."
She does so and then looks amazed that she had. I then tell her to put it in the toilet and flush, but not before I had a gander at her shit and wanted to puke. I am squeamish to poop for some reason, but not vomit. I am trying hard to not even show my signs of gagging but she's still holding the nasty toilet paper. I now understand the meaning of tortilla poop. I tell her to drop it, then I close the lid and flush. She does so. I tell her to pull up her pants and wash her hands.
"They're not pants."
"Oh, I'm sorry, shorts."
"I don't only have shorts on."
"And panties. Please pull up your shorts and panties before you go wash your hands."
She listens and then happily plays Break the Ice for the fiftieth time that night. I still had an hour a half to go.

Oh me. I asked my mother if I had done stuff like that. She said yes and I apologized. Sincerely apologized.

Other than that nothing much has happened nowadays. Finals week but it doesn't feel final -- maybe because my esteem ran out and I just don't give a shit anymore. Pun intended. I am worried over me studying French this summer.
I am going to copy Fallon and show you guys a list of things-to-do-during-the-summer:
1. STUDY THE FUCK OUT OF FRENCH.
2. Read until my eyes pop out. I think that's pretty fair. I read 14 books last summer - I want to break that record with this one.
3. Find an exercise that doesn't have my piriformis muscle rubbing against my sciatic nerve and causing me severe pains. It's real, google "Piriformis Syndrome."
4. Clean the entire house from top to bottom.
5. Finish Fallon's socks. (Which reminds me I have scarf pics to put up!)
6. Finish weaving in the ends of my sister's sweater.
That's it, nothing too big so I don't think too large and then feel really small when I don't finish anything.

This one is rather old but it's been forever since I posted so I'm assuming it's never been shared. It's for Amanda. Look at my cat, ha. And my room is now COMPLETELY different.

Only took me a day and a half. Watch Jane Eyre (2011 version) while doing so.

I love this scarf. Sadly, I couldn't wear it since it was a warm winter last/this year. Took me forever to find the time to knit it. it's taller than I.

This is just fucking cute. My sister told me to look over and that was waiting for me.

Oh, watched a romantic movie (STFU I am on my period). It is called, The Ghost and Miss Muir. I liked it, for what it was. It was funny when the ghost said he had been with three women and Miss Muir was all like, "OH HOW FUCKING GROSS - BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF, SIR!" Ha. "Blasted" and "Blazes" were curse words. Took me forever to figure that out. I couldn't figure out why she continuously told him to stop with the cursing.

That's it, my little fuckers.
Until next time...