The Struggles of Hormones

(I got this from Scotty and I don't know where he got it from.)

I do have a great bunch of friends (which will be embellished later on in the next post because I want this separate). The downwind of Aunt Flow's visit swept over my body and created such havoc that I want to personally, and publicly, thank all the people who managed it this month. Although they are fantastic and they try to act like they understand, it's just no man can understand until they have all the hormones fall at once, almost flatline, without warning. Men get a steady stream of all their hormones, making them appear more even tempered. They have this nice line that just cradles their emotions and has their life seem more important than the overemotional female.

-insert eye roll.-

As a female, the promise of an even-tempered period is rare, almost obscene, and is usually caused by lack of triggers in their surrounding environment. But for the woman who can't walk across a room without being affected by the way sunlight hits their floor are the ones who seek help. Most of the time it's birth control.

Of course, BC isn't covered by insurance companies because of men telling women how to live their lives. (The lives they're helping are the ones they destroy -- men purge their dick everywhere they can without repercussions, the women have to incubate theirs.) OR, if they can afford BC, their bodies don't like it and it's better to remain off it and have these emotional bell curves in their lives.

That's me.

I usually handle it by cuddling with Princess, watching cheesy romance flicks, or eating my weight in chocolate (because of the serotonin in it, it tricks our body for having that moment of happy hormone). Just for the record, when the cravings hit, I will kill you for a piece (see what low serotonin can cause?).

For fun, I thought I would list the triggers that trigger me into knowing PMS (remember, that PRE MENSTRUAL SYNDROME, my period has yet to come) has hit.

1. When someone scrapes the fucking coffee mug while stirring. Just scrapping that fucking paint off with their teaspoon because they think the liquid fucking adheres to the ceramics.

2. When I'm watching a movie for background noise and a part with an uplifting part that would normally make me laugh brings tears to my eyes. "She's so supportive!" I'll say and wipe my eyes. I then stop and curse at myself.

3. When my dog trips over her own feet and I start to cry.

4. When my sister washes dishes. She washes them one at a fucking time without a sink full of water. In which case, it gets water every-fucking-where.

5. I can't stand to be around guys. Not men, boys and guys. Half the time they talk about other women, and the other half they're being guys and that somehow gets on my nerves surprisingly.

6. The people I grin and bear it with and the ones I hide from.

7. Smells. Different smells each time, but some make me want to vomit.

Yeeeaaahhh, I'll end it there because I'm pissing my own self off here.