Loopholes

So, a dorky mom was in the men's section and was looking at the "funny" graphic tees. One of them had a potato looking surprised at a thing of fries. In a bubble above the vegetable's head, it read, "Is that you, bro?"
She laughed and the son asked for an explanation.
She said, "Because the fries used to be its brother."
It took me a bit because I wondered why this woman would give more backstory to a caption that deserves no other thought. Then it hit me, like a sack of fucking potatoes: She thought "Bro" literally means brother, and no other connotations other than that - just an abbreviation for brother. I was thinking, "Damn, I don't want to be that lame."
Too bad I will be.
And too bad I can't wait to be.

(Before I get to the actual background of this picture, I would like to give a conversation that happened five minutes ago for this said background:

Me - Mom! How old was I when I bought that Harry Potter wand?

Mom - Uh, 13 or 14.

Me - *pause* Uh, I wasn't that old.

Mom - *slowly smiles and then starts laughing* Oh, yes you were.

Me - I was not! No way I was that old and bought that. *starts to walk away*

Mom - Stop being in denial, you were... Because we made you a Harry Potter cake for your birthday in your Freshman year.

Me - Oh yeah! *runs back to the kitchen* And my friend was like, "Really, Heather, really?")

So the wand (see above) I bought when I was in my early teens. As I walked through Barnes and Noble the other day I noticed that they just had boxes of them sitting on the HP focal. Made me reminisce. So then I realized I had bought one, went home, asked my sister where it was - she got it. I then took a pic (see above) and here we are.

When my sister handed it to me, she gave me a story:

Amanda - I hated it. You began tapping my knee with it, saying, "Crucio!" When you realized it wasn't doing anything, you started to jab my knee and scream, "CRUCIO!"

Me - *laughs* Man, I'm awesome.

Amanda - Then I wrestled it from you and stabbed you with it while yelling, "AVADA KEDAVRA!"

Me - I'm still awesome.

Amanda - Then mom came in and yelled at both of us to stop before we hurt one another.

Ahhh, a story with double meaning at the end.

Okay, now that's out of the way....

I was watching Beauty and the Beast for the millionth time in my life the other night (right before Micheru and I began talking about it) and I had a thought...

Now, if all the servants were changed into a piece of equipment by their corresponding chore then who emptied the chamber pot?

Belle certainly didn't empty it herself.

So, I'm guessing that the poor bastard who did empty it was changed into one. Can you imagine someone shitting IN you for the entire magical lifespan? 

And think about the Beast's shit. Imagine how big and frightful that must've been. Of course, he was an animal, so he probably scratched and sniffed outside. Which brings me to that Belle really must've loved him because she probably walked outside on that a couple of times. Love overcomes any hurdle, shit, a massive pile of feces that a shovel would have to get up and scoot out of the way in the yard.

Speaking of Disney....
My sister has these stickers... Now, what's funny is, I don't know how she has these stickers. So, I come home and I see Pluto's head with that note. It's still there because it's fucking adorable. She handed me Dumbo the other day, it's on a notebook beside me.

 And speaking of more Disney....

I'm done and have homework.
c wut u bitches doo 2 me?