And I mean nothing.
I've had sex, worked, and just pretended to study.
I really have nothing exciting in my life, not even by the social definition.
So, by popular demand, I'm going to make an entry with some funny stuff recently, if I can even remember it.
Jaccob and I tried to have sex in my driveway, in his car, with my family watching TV in my house. So, I'm on bottom and we're going at it. One can hear the trunk door clapping (I like to think) and the car "a rocking" (as the kids call it).
Then he sees headlights. I ask what because he stops and is smiling while looking outside the back window. He says, "There's a car stopped in the middle of the street." It's not a street, guys. I live on a highway between two small cities. The speed limit is 55, but 65 to a native.
"What?"
"Yeah, it's just stopped there."
After a couple of seconds, the car then pulls into a driveway. We try again, but I can still see the headlights and I crane my head upward to look and the headlights are shining directly into the car. I sigh, look up at him and say, "Nope, this isn't going to happen for me."
He agrees that it wasn't for him either. "But," he says, "We can keep going for exercise, if you want."
I consider this until the car was slowly pulling out then I just shake my head.
We decided to stop, but this is a shout out to that car. To be direct: FUCK YOU, STOPPED CAR.
And, yes, don't worry ladies because we both did the Titanic joke with the hand on a fogged window.
I came home from Todd's and I'm just sitting here doing an assignment (pre-blogging, don'cha know). Then my mom comes up on my doorway, making small talk. This woman is stalling, I know this. She asks me how my day went.
I say, "It wen...."
I stop because this happened:
And then immediately did this: HHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.
My sister is behind that. She paid 40 bucks for that and I say MONEY WELL SPENT. That's fucking hilarious. If I had extra cash, it would be going toward the Cartman rendition.
In lab today, Haley and I were getting bored of the lecture. So she decided to make a Haiku about her life. This is it, guys:
"That's me everyday," Haley said.
Before she made the announcement about the Haiku, I thought she said IQ. I asked what the highest score could be, then I mimicked a person in my group saying, "Well, I don't Heather, why don't you take it so we can know."
Then Andy stepped in and said, "For the lowest."
I pointed to my heart and said, "Ouch."
In math class today there was only me and this guy in there. I spark up conversation with him because I'm fucking bored. I ask what he's majoring in and he replied, "Geology."
Now, he seems pretty stoic talking to me, so I say, "So, do you ever go to Lost River Cave to get a hard-on for all the rocks?"
He doesn't even falter when he replies, "No, I'm not big into caves. I like making things in labs, and sites."
I pause after he finishes and say, "You didn't even flinch when I said that. No smile or anything. Just straight-lined it."
Then he smiled and let out a small, but genuine chuckle.
I was in the kitchen studying the other day while my sister played Skyrim in the next room. We're talking about how we like our friends, but sometimes we want a break. And she says, "I have video game friends, Heather. They're virtual. If I don't want them to talk, I'll turn off my game. And when I turn it back on, they'll be waiting for me."
She's serious.
But that's all I got. I've been trying to think of other things.
Whatever, I play.
I genuinely don't give a shit.
Hope you all have a blessed day.
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