Up in Knots

Todd knows what my title is in reference to.

Okay, so what if I'm not blogging like I have no life anymore. Todd said that I'm making facebook my new blogger. Go to hell. That would never happen. Only this place gets the funniest, raunchiest stories ever.

She's got you high and you don't even know....
I have my headphones on while Jaccob plays that Odyssey game.  This game is stupid.
Aw, Kaim was poisoned in battle. He has a green orb of light emanating from his head like some cool outer shell of hair.

This is fucking awesome....
Yeah, I'm listening to Thrift Shop.

The other day Jaccob and I went to the mall. While he went in the game shop, I walked into the nearest clothing store that is reputably known for having "men's style numbers" for pant size. Ladies, we all know what I'm talking about. Anyway.
I was talking to the sales associate who just finished this really mean older lady with her nose-picking kid. She turned around, tried to help me by asking what size I wore. I told her "thirty-three by thirty-three." (That's right, I'm being the strong woman here.)
She stopped, looked back up at me from the pants and said, "Wow, I'd never think you'd be that big! Nothing over a...." She hesitated, looking at the surprise in my eyebrows I guess and finished with, "a thirty." While quickly going back to looking at the sizes.
She was a skinny, tan, pink-nailed blonde. She was nice, just no prelude to her mouth.

So, I was tinkering in the kitchen when Jaccob needed some hot water for something or another. Well, I'm tinkering and he's running the water. And running the water. And running the water. I look over and he's all knitted-brow staring at the facet.
I smiled and asked, "So, what'cha doing?"
He replied, "The water isn't turning hot."
I looked and he had it up and right. The exact and perfect way to get cold water. I told him so. He tried to act as if he knew.

My cousin dropped his iPhone 4S in a bucket of his own vomit.
That almost beats the time when he dropped it in the full Port-a-Potty.

Honesty is the best policy, Folks. Very sweet of Fallon to think of me in such light. Amen.

I asked Jaccob before we left if I should try with my hair. He said no, that it looked fine. Yeah, Todd, Malachai, and May all had something along the lines of asking me, "What's wrong with your hair?"

True story.

It's okay to squee. I do.

I have to fold three loads of clothes. I know, stop being jealous.

Also, my tongue does that painful itch that you can't stop scraping with your tongue. It's slowly driving me crazy.

Been watching Freaks and Geeks. I'm in love.

Hey, no, babe, what you wanna do? I think I could stay with you....

Name that song and I'm out.