ROAR.

NEW FUCKING HAIR.
And, for the record, I am exhausted trying to be that sweet college type. Side-swept bangs, nice clothes. I'll fucking dress like a dyke if I feel like it and leave my bangs however they are whenever I feel like it. I don't want to be someone I can't even feel comfortable in. I don't even like to look in the mirror because I'm not as pretty as other girls, or their weight. That fat gene runs in my family and I will always be fighting it. A chocolate bar can make me gain five pounds and it's extremely hard for me to even stop eating junk. I'm around it constantly, that's what my parents bring home and, sometimes, there's nothing at work or I'm so hungry after work I could eat off my own arm or Taco Bell. It fucking sucks. I'm so much better than I was, but it's hard getting there.
I'm running again and trying to fit into a realistic pant size (four down from where I am now). If I ever get there, I'll be cool with that. To get motivated to do anything other than sit on my ass is argh, can't even describe it. I'll have to take vitamins for that spurt of energy it gives me before my pee starts turning green.
And, I like my hair. It's different than most girls and that's what I love about it. My other hair wasn't me. I couldn't stand it. It just, it felt like I was wearing an uncomfortable wig.
It's not only that... The girls I like are just so elegant and pretty. I feel like an ogre, standing beside them. And, I feel like, if I don't look like them, how am I to ever get in a relationship? And, it's true. I don't want a bull-dyke who thinks working on cars is recreational. I want someone like... Hm. I don't know. I really like Drew Barrymore.
and, hahahaha, DON'T JUDGE ME ON THIS, but...
Kristin Stewart. She's hot, there, I said it.
and, no, i don't want those fucking gay ass Twilight movies
I'm going to get my ears pierced soon. I like earrings. I've had them done twice before but I stopped wearing them and my holes grew in. Plus I have this retard ear and, although hardly anyone notices, it's just the point.
(My ear doesn't have that groove, the entire thing is just smooth.)

Erica sent me a funny text on my way to work Saturday:

I felt like that when I worked at Donita's. Sad days those were.

Nashville, nice.

Okay, so, I'm going to bed soon, I'm just waiting on my porn to finish downloading.
But, as I am waiting, I was poking around in my external HD. It's amazing. I found the old recordings of me and Cricket.
A couple of good ones.

I found one where me and Cricket were listening to the Pimsleur. We did that for a good five minutes. Repeating and learning.
Eigo.
Sumimasen.
Then another one where her mother was going to drive us to Hardee's.
Cricket had to put on pants (pajama freak). I was putting on my shoes and I look up to see her just putting on her pants OVER her pajama bottoms.
Me - What're you doing? Are you going to stay warm like that? Or are you just doing that because you're on your period and don't want to change in front of me?
*moment of silence*
Cricket - I forgot I had them on, sorry.
*laughter from me*
She starts to take them off and I look away through the entire situation.
Cricket - Why did you look away?
Me - I figured you didn't want me to look.
Cricket - Why aren't you looking at my vagina? *moment of silence* So?
Me - Okay.

the scenes are so graphic, IIIII can't even read them.

Watching American Psycho. Makes me think of the novel.
Love them both.
(But the novel is my favorite.)

Working on a new layout, too.
DEFINITELY still in the works.

Okay, the entire reason of this entry is because my sister told me a funny conversation and I had to post how proud of it I am:
Amanda - So, me and Tori were talking about my story and I told her than Kenny was the reason for ANYTHING. Roy interrupted and was like, "So, what's his reason for the sun coming up?"
I said, "He decided it was time for the whore to get out of his bed."

I love that girl.

I have a good one, too, but I would have to say it in person because I have to do the stance and everything.
It's about that damn Disney movie Camp Rock and some awful woman at work.
If you know me, ask me, I will be HAPPY to regale this.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRICKET
LOOOOOOVE.
Monday.

Now, I'm going to go to bed early. Resting my voice. Discovered I had laryngitis. It fucking sucks.
I miss singing, talking.
I never noticed how many conversations I had with myself a day until it hurt to talk. Tuesday, I had no voice. Interesting but lonely :(
DAMMIT, I WANT TO SING TO JOURNEY. AND/OR QUEEN.
Don't you dare judge me.

Why aren't we funding this?!

Totally eventful day.
Got my new driver's license. It's all snazzy and sideways. Which is depressing because it means that I'm old. No, wait. It SIGNIFIES that I'm old and will never have those days back of naive nature. Or am I overdramatizing?

Second, went to Cricket's. Woke her ass up and made her mother jealous because Cricket isn't bitchy toward me, haha. I'm awesome.
That's right.
80s slang tonight, baby.
As we were motoring to Hobby Lobby (me driving), this car suddenly hit their breaks. Although I tried doing the same, I still bumped her car.
No damage. She still took my information, though. And I hers.
My first semi-wreck. Is that even in the category 'wreck' or 'pansy bumps'?

Bought water colors for whenever we 'hang out' again.
Then we went to Target and I bought her some fuzzy halloween socks I saw and immediately thought of her. Ha.

We then ate Chinese. Cricket received the worst fortune ever ('Please come to this restaurant again.')
I received two.
A woman then told us that she brought her father to have some Chinese when he was 80 (for the first time ever in his life). When he received his fortune, he didn't have one. He then asked his daughter if he didn't have a future. She told us two months later he died.
Wow, right?

Went back to her house and sat around and watched television.
I came home, because my throat has been bothering me ever since our last visit together. So, I sucked on this awful, taste like shit, lozenge because my mother made me or told me to stop 'bitching.'
I then sat around with them, in my pajamas, and watched television.

OH, I forgot to mention, one month ago today (exactly) I went to buy my first legal bottle of alcohol. The woman didn't card me.
What was even the point?
(TO GET WASTED!)
w/e. stfu.

ps - watched the season finale of True Blood. A minute each scene. I wish it hadn't gone by so quickly and made the last episode like two hours long.
Fuck them, right, for being lazy?