ROAR.

NEW FUCKING HAIR.
And, for the record, I am exhausted trying to be that sweet college type. Side-swept bangs, nice clothes. I'll fucking dress like a dyke if I feel like it and leave my bangs however they are whenever I feel like it. I don't want to be someone I can't even feel comfortable in. I don't even like to look in the mirror because I'm not as pretty as other girls, or their weight. That fat gene runs in my family and I will always be fighting it. A chocolate bar can make me gain five pounds and it's extremely hard for me to even stop eating junk. I'm around it constantly, that's what my parents bring home and, sometimes, there's nothing at work or I'm so hungry after work I could eat off my own arm or Taco Bell. It fucking sucks. I'm so much better than I was, but it's hard getting there.
I'm running again and trying to fit into a realistic pant size (four down from where I am now). If I ever get there, I'll be cool with that. To get motivated to do anything other than sit on my ass is argh, can't even describe it. I'll have to take vitamins for that spurt of energy it gives me before my pee starts turning green.
And, I like my hair. It's different than most girls and that's what I love about it. My other hair wasn't me. I couldn't stand it. It just, it felt like I was wearing an uncomfortable wig.
It's not only that... The girls I like are just so elegant and pretty. I feel like an ogre, standing beside them. And, I feel like, if I don't look like them, how am I to ever get in a relationship? And, it's true. I don't want a bull-dyke who thinks working on cars is recreational. I want someone like... Hm. I don't know. I really like Drew Barrymore.
and, hahahaha, DON'T JUDGE ME ON THIS, but...
Kristin Stewart. She's hot, there, I said it.
and, no, i don't want those fucking gay ass Twilight movies
I'm going to get my ears pierced soon. I like earrings. I've had them done twice before but I stopped wearing them and my holes grew in. Plus I have this retard ear and, although hardly anyone notices, it's just the point.
(My ear doesn't have that groove, the entire thing is just smooth.)

Erica sent me a funny text on my way to work Saturday:

I felt like that when I worked at Donita's. Sad days those were.