don't even think about it, princess

My God, my cat is so fucking adorable.
I stayed up way past my bedtime. I went to bed at like four in the morning. THANKS TAYLOR.
But, I didn't have another thought to share, just something stupid I did while talking with Taylor. I've done a version of this sober, when I was around 13-years-old, so it's somewhat forgivable.
My remotes were on the other side of the desk. I was on my bed. I needed them, so, like I normally would sober, I leaned on my computer chair and extend one arm out to get them. Well, my chair swiveled and I fell straight to the floor, caught the chair and it fell right on me.
It was very embarrassing.
I guess I deserved it, haha.
When I was thirteen, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, with my back on the edge, and my legs folded on the bed. Well, Casey made me laugh (on the phone) and I tilted my head back. Well, my entire body followed. I did some type of flip off the bed and still managed to keep the phone firmly against my ear. My legs were over my head and I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.
But, good times, right?

why... a hamster in the ass?

I wish I wrote this down as soon as it happened, but, I was working.

So, we have this new guy, Trevor. He's buff. Like, arms the size of my head, buff. He's 6'4'' and has Andre the Giant voice. It's amazing.
Me, Alura, Chase and Tabitha were in infants with him. Somehow, hunting was brought up and I said it was a disgusting sport.
Trevor - How do you get that?
Me - Well, we have guns. If we had the same resources they do, then it wouldn't be so bad.
Trevor - Well, they have camouflage.
Me - Hardly.
Trevor - So, you're saying we need to be stripped down while we hunt?
Me - Uh, yes. Wouldn't it be something to see you running around naked in the woods?
And, that was taken as the total opposite of what I meant. Seriously. Hahaha. My face was so red I couldn't even look at any one until I cooled down, quite literally.
Then I told them that we could do natural cameo, like rolling in the mud, or something.

I went out for drinks with Tabitha after work.
Can we please hold the disgusted expressions. I was very responsible. I drunk one glass of water with lemon, had a salad and one and a half drinks. It was nice. We talked and talked. She isn't half bad, I think I like her.
Hold the phone, not that way, as a friend.

I'm so bored. SO bored.
Tried Black Cherry Rum and Coke.
Magnificent.
Drinking it now.
I love getting drunk and talking to friends on the phone. Sitting in the dark, drinking, talking, listening to music on shuffle. So peaceful, helps me relax. Anyone else? I'm also watching Ron White on Comedy Central. Well, it came on last night, but I recorded it and went to bed.
Love it.
He's hilarious. One of the few comedians that can make me laugh.
Him, Aaron (some british comedian), Graham Norton, Jeff Dunham, Zach Galifianakis and those are all that came to mind.
Wow. I'm hard to please, or easy, however you want to look at it.
After this is over, the show, I'm going to call Alex.

So, see-ya!

ROAR.

NEW FUCKING HAIR.
And, for the record, I am exhausted trying to be that sweet college type. Side-swept bangs, nice clothes. I'll fucking dress like a dyke if I feel like it and leave my bangs however they are whenever I feel like it. I don't want to be someone I can't even feel comfortable in. I don't even like to look in the mirror because I'm not as pretty as other girls, or their weight. That fat gene runs in my family and I will always be fighting it. A chocolate bar can make me gain five pounds and it's extremely hard for me to even stop eating junk. I'm around it constantly, that's what my parents bring home and, sometimes, there's nothing at work or I'm so hungry after work I could eat off my own arm or Taco Bell. It fucking sucks. I'm so much better than I was, but it's hard getting there.
I'm running again and trying to fit into a realistic pant size (four down from where I am now). If I ever get there, I'll be cool with that. To get motivated to do anything other than sit on my ass is argh, can't even describe it. I'll have to take vitamins for that spurt of energy it gives me before my pee starts turning green.
And, I like my hair. It's different than most girls and that's what I love about it. My other hair wasn't me. I couldn't stand it. It just, it felt like I was wearing an uncomfortable wig.
It's not only that... The girls I like are just so elegant and pretty. I feel like an ogre, standing beside them. And, I feel like, if I don't look like them, how am I to ever get in a relationship? And, it's true. I don't want a bull-dyke who thinks working on cars is recreational. I want someone like... Hm. I don't know. I really like Drew Barrymore.
and, hahahaha, DON'T JUDGE ME ON THIS, but...
Kristin Stewart. She's hot, there, I said it.
and, no, i don't want those fucking gay ass Twilight movies
I'm going to get my ears pierced soon. I like earrings. I've had them done twice before but I stopped wearing them and my holes grew in. Plus I have this retard ear and, although hardly anyone notices, it's just the point.
(My ear doesn't have that groove, the entire thing is just smooth.)

Erica sent me a funny text on my way to work Saturday:

I felt like that when I worked at Donita's. Sad days those were.

Nashville, nice.

Okay, so, I'm going to bed soon, I'm just waiting on my porn to finish downloading.
But, as I am waiting, I was poking around in my external HD. It's amazing. I found the old recordings of me and Cricket.
A couple of good ones.

I found one where me and Cricket were listening to the Pimsleur. We did that for a good five minutes. Repeating and learning.
Eigo.
Sumimasen.
Then another one where her mother was going to drive us to Hardee's.
Cricket had to put on pants (pajama freak). I was putting on my shoes and I look up to see her just putting on her pants OVER her pajama bottoms.
Me - What're you doing? Are you going to stay warm like that? Or are you just doing that because you're on your period and don't want to change in front of me?
*moment of silence*
Cricket - I forgot I had them on, sorry.
*laughter from me*
She starts to take them off and I look away through the entire situation.
Cricket - Why did you look away?
Me - I figured you didn't want me to look.
Cricket - Why aren't you looking at my vagina? *moment of silence* So?
Me - Okay.