Nonverbal Signals

My sister had been switching channels this morning and she came across this show I made her stop at. It was called "Today's Family" or something. Anyway, they had this parenting guru on to help this British couple find solid ground when it came to disciplining their triplets. One of the ways was to have nonverbal signals whenever the parents disagreed so they could go to different rooms and have it out without the kids feeling guilty for ruining their marriage.

So, I walked into the kitchen, telling my mom, "I think it would be funny if you and dad had nonverbal signals even at me and Amanda's age." I frantically tugged at both ears, showing her what I meant.
My mom laughed, "This one would be mine," she was starting to do the international sign for help.
I disregarded that and said the international flip off signal with my arm in the crease of my bent one. "This is mine!"
My sister was laughing, coming into the kitchen doorway, "HA! Mine would be punching him in the face."
I did the motion, and Amanda went, "We need to have a talk!" And punched the air in one swipe.

Gave the cat a bath because he was being a little bitch about everything.
"MEOW MEOW MEOW I NEEDS IN YO ROOMS."
He gets in.
"MEOW MEOW MEOW I needs attentions."
He gets in my lap.
"MEOW MEOW MEOW..." He went quiet.
Turn around and he was flossing his little teeth on my box spring.
This happened four or five times within an hour and a half.
So, I gave him a bath. Well, he had hid from us and I found him under the couch. I couldn't get him out without hurting him so my mom got the feather duster and pushed it through. I hadn't even heard her so it scared me, along with the cat. I was in shock so I didn't even catch him as he went out. Fun times. I caught the lamp as I got scared.
Perhaps it was funny from my point of view of lying on the floor, trying to coax him out. He acted like he wanted to trust me, but wasn't sure.
OH IT HURTS SO GOOD.

My sister is claiming that she remembered a year ago that she heard a cork pop out after I said wine could freeze and the cork pops out.
I told her I didn't allow idiots to be in my room.
She's now explaining her reasoning.
I'm reading this aloud as I type it for her.
She's saying, "Like an idiot."
She wants to be as cool as me, but it's not going to happen.
She's still trying while I am still reading aloud.
Ha, she came running at me and said, "Heather, we need to talk!" Punching the air.