So, Jaccob has decided to make himself more of a man by asserting himself oddly. Here's an example:
Jaccob needed the pizza in the oven before we had sex. I told him sure, and I get out of "cuddle" mode to go turn on the stove to warm up. Then I realized I didn't know how to work his stove.
This little bitch then says, "Really? You're so retarded."
I push him back on the bed saying I'll figure it out then, by myself.
He won't take no as an answer. I keep pushing him away from his bedroom door. and he tries to do some wrestling move. I still get my body on the door to stop him.
I don't know how he did it, guys, but I somehow ended on the floor which was the worst move yet.
He grabbed my arms, while getting the door open. I was half sitting and laying down. The bastard drugged me out of the bedroom. And with my free grip I tried from his bedroom door casing and his brothers. Jaccob somehow got me to let go and he grabbed my legs and started to drag me across the living room.
We interrupted his brother doing his pushups. I yelled at Jaccob to go join him.
Then we entered the kitchen where he helped me up. It took me two tries to get up.
I WAS NOT EMBARRASSED. Just plotting my revenge.
Todd and I were talking about trust, and I said something about unreliable people in the past. He said, "Your trust muscle is atrophied."
High-five.
The guy behind me and Amanda was ancient. I think so ancient that he couldn't control his flatulence. Through the first act I kept thinking it was the guy beside me. He probably thought it was me because when he came back from the break, he sat on the other side of his daughter.
I only knew it was the old man because he left and the smell dissipated. He came back and I had to verify with Amanda that it just wasn't me smelling someone's asshole.
So Jaccob and I got airborne sometime late last week. Well, we're sitting outside and I mention if he think it's cool that a mighty oak comes from one single seed. He said he wasn't. I then asked why.
He said because we came from one cell.
Think about it, thanks to cellular division we are here. That we grew and grew, expanding our limps and maturing our looks. I explained that to him and he replied, "Shut up, you're starting to freak me out."
Ha.
Then he mentioned a fun fact with sperm. That the last sperm, the lazy one, makes it in because all the other ones broke down the shell and left a pathway.
I then said, "What do you think an egg has? Layers of traps? Like it's like some fucking pyramid in egypt with its layers of traps?"
I met up with Micheru to go to a poetry reading on Thursday night.
She surprised me with a gift:
It's the pillow pet pig!
I purposely put Princess in the picture because they're both so adorable! He's looking at my snapping fingers again....
THANK YOU, MICHERU. I seriously appreciate it. It's very thoughtful.
My sister gave me her Christmas gift early.
IT'S. A. FUCKING. DOCTOR. WHO. MUG.
When there's hot liquid inside, the Tardis disappears and appears on the other side, with all the space decorations. It amazes the shit out of me.
I was trying to be badass so I could text Jaccob that I was him and being all kinds of punk with my Kingdom Hearts tee on. It failed.
I can't stop laughing every time I look at this photo.
That's also the thinking cap I referred to at the beginning of this post.
Saw a guy at Dairy Queen the other day actually take a picture of his blizzard turned upside down.
...
Everyone remember that commercial?
That's all I have, folks.
It's disappointing and a little aggravating.
Hey, finals end soon and then I'll have shittier things to talk about.
Like how I want to paint my toenails the most awful shade of nail polish I can find.
I'll make sure to make an entire post dedicated to my decision making....
"Then there was this green that looked like the exact color of my shit after I eat a bowl of Trix cereal."
I am jealous of that mug.
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