たい焼き！

わたしはたい焼きを食べました。おいしいでしたよ！アマンダちゃんはメーガンちゃんとたい焼き尾を食べました。私は「さかなですよ！」と「たべませんか。」を書きました。アマンダちゃんは「おいしいですよ！」を書きました。

It was a cold fall day on Western's campus. All had either a coat or sweater, and the brave had on nothing. I was part of the brave -- just a sweater vest and jeans to keep my 98.6 degrees circulating. BUT, Micheru and Megan had coats to brave the harsh wind. And the wind seemed to be coming from all angels: Left, right, behind, in front of... There was no escaping our skin drying, no escaping our extremities turning red, and no escaping the goosebumps prickling up our arms.

No, we were on a mission from the great and powerful Events Notice. Events Notice is a newly long-standing tradition of informing our trio of treasures to be had around campus. Once it informs us, we have until the day of to find it.

To start the adventure I treaded to FAC to wait for my Japanese class. Micheru and Megan were already waiting, informing me that their Events Notice told them that there would be Taiyaki, fished-shaped pancakes, to be ate on campus. We all decided to find these special pancakes from the allotted time they would be available. We stopped for doubloons for said Taiyaki.

We hunted for the Taiyaki table.

We spotted one in the worst gust of wind imaginable on campus. Their table was wobbling, their dishes were threatening a windy suicide, and the people had the cold syndrome with all the symptoms. We introduced ourselves, ravishing the sign with Japanese while they set up.

The pancakes were astounding with the shape, with the crispy patterns of scales. Our eyes glowed with fascination and adoration for the skill and effort the Japanese Culture Club put in to making the Taiyaki. And the looks matched the taste, even covered in syrup. I wanted to take a picture with my Taiyaki safely on the plate, but the wind, the evil wind caught my suicidal plate. The plate tipped over, spilling syrup all over their small station. I kept apologizing while everyone awkwardly stood there trying to decide if I would clean it up or not.

BUT I AM THE BRAVE AND THE WORTHY. I sentenced myself the task of searching for the nearest restroom on the first floor of FAC. I took a deep breath full of the cold and headed inside. Behind me were the figures of Micheru and Megan standing and watching as I disappeared into the dimly lit hallways full of onlookers. The onlookers watched as I took my sticky plate through more hallways, past doorways full of humanly creatures twitching their heads at the scent of syrup. I continued walking trying to spot the circle woman in the triangle dress - the emblem of cleanliness and relief.

Nothing.

I was carefully making my way back to the set of doors where the rest of my trio waited when I had a sudden realization. I had water with me the entire time! I could've not risked my self-respect and just wetted a napkin outside and cleaned up my suicidal plate's mess. Alas, hindsight is 20/20. Nearly back, I received a text from Micheru. "Dudette, where did you go?"
I tried answering, but I caught her eyes first.
I came back to the evil wind saying, "I couldn't find the restroom. Then as I'm coming back I realized I had water with me."
I cleaned up my mess and we headed to Japanese class, forever logging the taste, smell, and pattern of the Taiyaki.

I Ain't Worried About It

For the past almost-week nothing has happened.
And I mean nothing.
I've had sex, worked, and just pretended to study.
I really have nothing exciting in my life, not even by the social definition.
So, by popular demand, I'm going to make an entry with some funny stuff recently, if I can even remember it.

Jaccob and I tried to have sex in my driveway, in his car, with my family watching TV in my house. So, I'm on bottom and we're going at it. One can hear the trunk door clapping (I like to think) and the car "a rocking" (as the kids call it).
Then he sees headlights. I ask what because he stops and is smiling while looking outside the back window. He says, "There's a car stopped in the middle of the street." It's not a street, guys. I live on a highway between two small cities. The speed limit is 55, but 65 to a native.
"What?"
"Yeah, it's just stopped there."
After a couple of seconds, the car then pulls into a driveway. We try again, but I can still see the headlights and I crane my head upward to look and the headlights are shining directly into the car. I sigh, look up at him and say, "Nope, this isn't going to happen for me."
He agrees that it wasn't for him either. "But," he says, "We can keep going for exercise, if you want."
I consider this until the car was slowly pulling out then I just shake my head.
We decided to stop, but this is a shout out to that car. To be direct: FUCK YOU, STOPPED CAR.
And, yes, don't worry ladies because we both did the Titanic joke with the hand on a fogged window.

I came home from Todd's and I'm just sitting here doing an assignment (pre-blogging, don'cha know). Then my mom comes up on my doorway, making small talk. This woman is stalling, I know this. She asks me how my day went.
I say, "It wen...."
I stop because this happened:

And then immediately did this: HHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

My sister is behind that. She paid 40 bucks for that and I say MONEY WELL SPENT. That's fucking hilarious. If I had extra cash, it would be going toward the Cartman rendition.

In lab today, Haley and I were getting bored of the lecture. So she decided to make a Haiku about her life. This is it, guys:

"That's me everyday," Haley said.

Before she made the announcement about the Haiku, I thought she said IQ. I asked what the highest score could be, then I mimicked a person in my group saying, "Well, I don't Heather, why don't you take it so we can know."

Then Andy stepped in and said, "For the lowest."

I pointed to my heart and said, "Ouch."

In math class today there was only me and this guy in there. I spark up conversation with him because I'm fucking bored. I ask what he's majoring in and he replied, "Geology."
Now, he seems pretty stoic talking to me, so I say, "So, do you ever go to Lost River Cave to get a hard-on for all the rocks?"
He doesn't even falter when he replies, "No, I'm not big into caves. I like making things in labs, and sites."
I pause after he finishes and say, "You didn't even flinch when I said that. No smile or anything. Just straight-lined it."
Then he smiled and let out a small, but genuine chuckle.

I was in the kitchen studying the other day while my sister played Skyrim in the next room. We're talking about how we like our friends, but sometimes we want a break. And she says, "I have video game friends, Heather. They're virtual. If I don't want them to talk, I'll turn off my game. And when I turn it back on, they'll be waiting for me."
She's serious.

But that's all I got. I've been trying to think of other things.
Whatever, I play.
I genuinely don't give a shit.
Hope you all have a blessed day.

The Arena of Losers

So, I'm in the kitchen and I began to play You Took The Words Right Out of My Mouth by Meatloaf. My sister was all, "Shut it off! You have headphones! That song sounds completely gay!"
(I used all those exclamation points to make her seem gay.)
So, I finally go get my headphones because she won't shut up about it.
A little while later, as she's leaving, I hear her lowly sing, "You took the words right out of my mouth...."
I stopped, turned around and said, "OOOOOOOOOOOH!"
Then me and my mother began singing it.

Yesterday I had some advice for guys that I inadvertently said to Fallon:
Fallon - So I was thinking of Christmas presents the other day.
Me - And?
Fallon - I miss when my husband used to write poems for me.
Me - I just wish he'd more corny. I hate admitting that. Because if he fucks you then he should put out emotionally.
Fallon - Lol.
Me - I know I'm right. And although some girls put up a rough front, they love a little emotion. I'll admit that's why I love yaoi.
Guys, heed my advice. I'm always right. Jaccob will agree, won't you, HONEY BEAR?

I should be studying for biology but I can't figure out how. Sad.

I am now listening to some old school Big Bang.

I was over at Todd's and said something about not going to class tomorrow because of how tired and behind I am in certain places. He said he could write me a note. I said, "Oh, please, daddy?!"
Below is what ensued:

Sadly, I had to leave shortly thereafter and I received an e-mail from Todd saying:

Let me start by saying Jake is fast asleep.  Below is his note.

Dearest Supervisor or "Boss,"

My dear son cannot report to duty on November 8th in the Year of our Lord, 2012.  Many factors play into his inability or preform menial labor for subservient wages.

First, he's as close to having a venereal disease as possible without actually having one.  his new girl has been riding him hard of late, bruising and chaffing him to vicious degrees.

Secondly, there is a certain dildosity to the team which he cannot always tolerate.

Thirdly, he has been grief stricken by the current state of political unrest aka the election.

Surely you can understand that this vile combination of raw dogs, dildos, and failed political dreams could ravage anyone's drive to work.

God bless!
Daddy

High-five, Todd, high-five.

Waiting for 日本語のクラス we were all discussing Minecraft. Then I said I could build houses for hours on SIMS. Someone said something about Woohoo on SIMS.
This dude spoke up with he never played SIMS enough to know about that.
Me - You've never had sex on SIMS?
Dude - No. I think I played SIMS 1 and burned my waffles. Then I got pissed. I just went to my neighbors, pissed them off and then excommunicated myself from the community because I burned my waffles. If I hadn't of burned my waffles then I would probably be playing it right now.

Today the wonderful Fallon helped me with my math. I LOVE YOU FOR IT. And all the while she was using her phone as a calculator. Suddenly this random song lowly played in the background. She then stops speaking in the middle of her sentence and checking all her pockets. She starts to panic and then checks her jacket pockets. She then says, "Okay, give me a minute, I need to find my phone."
I give her a confused look and then slowly scoot up her phone clearly on the table to her. "You mean this, right here?"
She stops and does "headdesk."

SCIENCE DID THIS ON A LEAF.

AWESOME ANONYMOUS DID THIS AT WORK.

DUN DUN DUNNNNNN.

I Am Exhausted

I would like to start from today so I can put all I remember in order... Well, backwards order.
Jaccob invited me over, despite the football game being on. Dolphins versus... Wow, some team in blue - I can't even remember their name. I studied a bit for my Japanese vocabulary test. Then the game went off. Finally thinking we had alone time, another game came on Steelers VS NY Giants.
I was internally cursing.
I wanted alone time with him.
So, I just started distracting him with kissing his neck, touching places, and pressing my body against his. Of course, he eventually caved. But we agreed if we were going to have sex, that he could turn his head and watch it whenever he wanted.
Guys, he did.
While having sex, he was watching and yelled, "TOUCH DOWN."

Then we went to Haven with Scotty, Alan, and their friends. One girl brought Cards Against Humanity. Hilarious fucking game. I want to own that game.
Christmas ideas.
Jaccob won of course. He told me I was going to hear about it all the way home.
So I did my mocking voice, "Oh, honey, do you remember when I won that game?"
A guy liked my comment because I'M FUCKING HILARIOUS.

The other night I came over and Jaccob and I were making out.
Then he started to strip me. I said, "Hold on, who said I was ready?"
He scoffed, "Whatever, I cough and you're ready."
. . .
I can't help it, Jaccob.

On Halloween night Jaccob and I got airborne (thanks to Todd for this word).
We were standing outside his window after climbing out of it for the hell of it. He said something about his room being the Love Room. Then I thought of how one might say that in Japanese.
"Ai no... What's room? Geez, would it be lovely room?"
So, when we eventually went back inside I got on google translate. It said, "愛の部屋."
I stared blankly then said, "Ai no... whatever that is."

On Halloween there was also confusion about someone not having on a condom and the other person not knowing until they stopped to put it on in the first place.
Bam.

Jaccob tried to match our noises to a song from The Lion King.
No, not Hakuna Matata, but The Lion Sleeps Tonight.

I like interrupting makeout sessions with, "Jaccob, what do you like most about me?"
He would laugh.
And I would stop again with, "I'm serious."
Every girl is now nodding and smiling.

IN OTHER NEWS....
I'm tired of Bananas being the more fragile fruit. I put it in my backpack; it gets slightly bumped and the whole fucking banana is bruised. Never met something with such an iron deficiency.
If I want that shit in my locker at work the peel is a soggy brown four hours later on lunch. Fucking metal. Fucking banana.

Saw Wreck-it Ralph! Was awesome.

I am now officially pooped out.
Ha, pooped.