Third Time The Charm/Curse

Monday:
So, the first day of classes was not eventful and it was not exciting.
A stereotypical moment did happen to me while I was waiting on Japanese 101.
This geeky looking dude walked down the hallway, stopped, turned on his heel and faced me. By this time I am trying really hard to focus on my book so he won't talk to me.
He didn't care.
He asked me what I was waiting for and I said the class and he said he had it too. In my head, I was cursing.
He then started talking about what got him interested in Japanese, which was fucking anime like everyone else. Well, mine was Kingdom Hearts and the music from it... So, I always say music.
So, he leaves me alone for a bit and I return to reading. But before I know it, he has his laptop on and interrupts me saying something about this website releasing the english dub of some anime that resembled Powderpuff Girls.
Without asking, he slid his laptop around, sat beside me, and started playing the a very weird anime that did resemble the before-mentioned children's show. It is called Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt.
I had to sit through 15 minutes of it while trying not to seem rude texting some friends (Jaccob, Alan, and Marina).
He said it was two parts after it ended and I said, "Oh, I have to use the bathroom, that's happening."
I really did have to pee and my tampon was leaking, so yeah. He didn't talk to me for the rest of the two hours through. Or sit beside me in class. Thank goodness!

Tuesday:
Met a girl wearing a batman lanyard in my bio class - we're friends now.

Wednesday:
Now, it's fucking hot. I am not fond of the sun at all and what it causes me. I love winter. Not fall, not spring, but fucking plants all dead, air stinging your lungs kind of shit. It's my healthiest season. Now, summer is Hell on earth for me. I sweat just by looking at the sun.
Today, walking to my Japanese 101 class and boy did I sweat. Just my nature, like I've previously said.
So, I immediately head to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face. Well, come to find out, I sweated right through my button-up. Ha. So I immediately look around and spot those air-hand-dryers that never really work.
I strip off the button-up and push the air button. Nothing. Again. Nothing. I know it's broken but I try again. Nothing.
I curse.
So, then I start to flap my shirt, waving it like a fucking banner. So a girl walks in with me and my tanktop, my skin as pale #FFFFFF color. No, it seriously is, that's why you never see me in really short sleeves.
She does that polite smile and I'm trying not to look obvious. She does her business and this older woman comes and makes the connection with her eyes and does her thing.
They leave while giving once last glance.
I'm still flapping. Then I'm like, "Fuck this," and hide in a bathroom stall (one facing a wall and not the mirrors so people cannot look in).
So, for the next five minutes I'm giving out a flapping sound while people are coming in and out. I hope they were thinking what you guys are thinking.
It does dry, but I smell stale, well, at least to me.

Met a really awesome gay guy majoring in zoology. Oh yeah, he's going to be my friend. Well, don't know if he's gay but his voice sounds completely, you know, but he hasn't done anything that means, "I like boys a lot," yet.

Only three days in.
Not to mention the freak rain on Monday that got me soaked to my car and then had my hair afro out and then had my clothes lay on me in a really weird way.
I looked like fucking Hagar the Horrible. Yes, that makes sense.

End of Summer Vacation

As the summer's end is in sight (I can see it out my window), I have come to terms with my summer. It's been a busy summer and I have much to recollect on to let people realize what all I have accomplished:

KNITTING
Holy fuck, didn't I do a lot of knitting. (See, that was a statement, not a rhetorical question.) I have to say I put my mad skillz to the test and finished a truckload of shit. Not that I'm complaining. I did more knitting this summer than I probably have when I didn't have college or the hours at a job.

See, it all started with my sister's sweater which took me an entire year to finish knitting. From there it progressed to my sister wanting Kyle's hat from South Park (which I had to improv most of the time). She begged and pleaded on her knees. I agreed, and she threw graffiti which she seemed to have prepared.

During Kyle's Hat, Fallon's sister, Becky, wanted knitting lessons to which I agreed. While there, I finished Kyle's Hat, and started in on Scotty's Megaman hat. Before last semester ended, Scotty was jokingly asking me for Megaman's helmet. Well, joke's on you, Scotty, for I have whipped out the most awful rendition of that helmet for your use (I swear to I will re-knit).

But, oh helllllll noooooo, Alan saw what I had done and put a sword to my neck while growling, "I want a fucking Firefly Jayne Cobb hat."
I worked my little fingers to the bone putting that together.
However, that scratchy wool is still unlined and I hope to finish that before winter without him taking off my pinkies, or finding a horse head in my bed.

Fallon found an image of the most beautiful purse in all the land and bestowed it upon my eyes. She gave a love-sigh, deflating eloquently in a chair.
"What is this?" I asked with all the wonder in the world fluttering in my chest.
"A purse to match my very existence." She fluttered her eyelids.
"My dear, did you want me to knit this for you?"
She erected her girly pose on the chair, "Would you?" Her voice squealed in happiness.
"Of course, my dear friend."
So, I did and she loved it.

Then Jaccob got jealous. Green with envy, the boy cornered me in an alley and said, without question, "I want a fucking stocking cap, with the ugly fucking green of Link from Zelda."
I asked why should I do it.
He then started to mutate to this horrible, monstrous beast (if you can name that quote, you get something from me)! Eyes red, claws extended, I just nodded.
I gulped and agreed. What else could I do?
When I finished, he returned to his human form.

All my friends and creatures equalized, I focused the attention then on myself. I knitted a few quick patterns and here they are:

1.2.3.

1 - A pixie hat pattern Fallon found. Although I used the yarn and needle size it required, it was still a bit large. Next time, small needle size.

2. A tie I found in Knits for Nerds. I knitted a mirror one and am sewing it to the back. It looks odd, mostly because I improv'd that as well. It's a strand of DNA on the tie, in case one of you couldn't place it.

3. A scarf of some cheap yarn at Hobby Lobby. I loved the colors. It was sucha  quick knit since I used 1x1 ribbing with size 15 needles. Very awesome to knit with, too. It's way too long. The height of me plus half. Love that.

 WRITING
I finished a book. You know, the "skeleton" of it (as Fallon described in her notes). I've been thinking of side stories and back stories, and all the in between to give it human flesh, I suppose.

The story is officially called Seven Relics and is religiously based. But this is me we're talking about - I don't make religion boring.

Then I thought of another story idea that I can hopefully fuck around with in Intermediate Fiction Writing.

I know I'm being vague, but I might change, and I might have haters out there. That's right. Haters.

READING
This entire list.
I still have two more books to add to it and then I will date it and then all those creeps can come out and judge me on the romantic novels. They're like crack. It's horrible, but you just can't stop.

SOCIALIZING
Somehow, between last summer and this one, I somehow picked up some guys (Todd, Alan, Scotty, and Jaccob) and some chick (Fallon) who I've stuck with.

The guys and I had game night were we all push up our glasses, snort when we laugh, and talk in constant riddles to try and outdo each other's smarts. I won, by the way.
How many installments was it, Todd? Nine, ten of them?
The game was about this dude and he wanted what our characters had and he got it and none of us died. I wanted blood, but I settled down my animal instincts and made myself just drink tomato juice instead. Same thing, right -- you know, because they're the same color and all? Perhaps thickness too... I kind of want to test that out. With tests, not drinking both.

Fallon brought the girly side out of me with painting, and spray painting and puppies (oh my the puppy).
We did projects and we did nothing.
She and her sister received knitting lessons from me and we all became friends.
Went to a Jane Austen Festival with her.
Uh.
She introduced me to a good historical fiction (on my reading list, by the way).

THE SUMMER LIST
1. STUDY THE FUCK OUT OF FRENCH. (Never happened - changed my major.)
2. Read until my eyes pop out. I think that's pretty fair. I read 14 books last summer - I want to break that record with this one. (I had to put my eyes back in.)
3. Find an exercise that doesn't have my piriformis muscle rubbing against my sciatic nerve and causing me severe pains. It's real, google "Piriformis Syndrome." (Found stretches and can run again, hellz yeah!)
4. Clean the entire house from top to bottom. (Yup.)
5. Finish Fallon's socks. (Which reminds me I have scarf pics to put up!) (yup!)
6. Finish weaving in the ends of my sister's sweater. (Yes!!!)

FINALE
What have I learned?
That I am talented.
That I am a nerd.
That school will suck.
That I cannot do a backbend.
That Neon Trees has some special instrument to have their songs glued to your brain.
That eighties are back with my new perm.
That I love sleeping.
That it's hot during the summer.
That spiders are smart.
That I can't draw.
That patience is learned.
That tumblr is my new playground.
That I need to learn to use my words.
That my cat knows his cuteness and manipulates me with it.
That I suck at catching balls. (I leave it vague for open-ended jokes.)
That my dog lives to gross me out.
That boys have cooties. And the cootie shot won't reverse their affects.
That converse is the best shoe.
That I can't draw, or paint.
That my cat has horrible breath. (He just yawned into my face.)
That I can run a mile if I actually give a shit.
That, uh, I've run out of things I've learned.

Psychokinesis

Me - Why not have something like Agatha Christie?
Todd - Is that your roommate?
Me - Ha, I said AGATHA CHRISTIE.
Todd - Oh! I thought you said "I have a friend name Christie."
Me - Ew, I would never have a friend named Christie."
Todd - *stops scanning and looks at me* That's the dumbest remark I've ever heard.
Me - What? Is she going to spell it with an 'ie'?
Todd - Really?
Me - That's the same reason I don't have any friends named Brittany.
Todd - Probably the same reasons they don't have friends named Heather.

It's been a rough few days.
I had to go to campus and find my classes. I was sweating like I had my own personal rain cloud above my head, trying to shower me off. Embarrassing. I just sweat, despite all the water I drink and the less salty foods I try. I think it's in my genetics since my father sweats easily too. I could be at a comfortable state and someone turns up the temperature by one degree and then I start sweating. It's awful -- just like my blushing.

Now my blushing is something that I sometimes can't control. I sometimes talk about sex and have that unflattering shade of red creep up my cheeks. I don't even know until someone points it out. This is on record: More than half the time I don't know I'm blushing.
Oh yeah.

Anyway, my calves became so sore that I couldn't run for the past two days and work was so painful to bend over and get those shoes. I was grimacing with each lunge.

You know what's sadder than the above statement about my calves?
I needed my phone to send my email pictures of Todd's b-day gift (below) and it was a stretch of an arm away on the coffee table. I was seriously regretting human evolution and it not having me to have psychokinesis.
If humans were to have psychokinesis then wouldn't we be like the "future-humans" off Wall-e?
I would stand in one spot to finish all of my work, to finish everything.
Huamns would eventually just be immobile and our conscious the only viable thing in existence.
One conscious would try to harvest the others for more power, the energy to have more power, and then we'd have a war and all die because no one can run away.

DUN DUN DUNNNN... TODD'S B-DAY GIFT TO MEEEEE.
(That was all meant to me in a sing-song voice.)

How thoughtful was that?
I told Jaccob that when Todd gave it to me that I was going to act like I hated it... You know, until he cried, and then just say, "I was fucking with you." And then put my camera away.
But I liked it too much.
The pigs were thoughtful and then the fucking Japanese dice. Oh yeah, I'm popping those bitches out in Japanese 101. Getting all the haters on me.

So I was lying beside my mother in bed yesterday and I went to text someone. I turn it on and my mother asked, "Wait, what was that?"
"What? The picture of Princess cleaning himself?"
I showed her and we both awed at the picture.
My father shook his head and then turned back to his computer.
This is the picture:

Uh, yeah. I couldn't think of something clever to say about my room.
BUT, last night I let Princess sleep with me despite his nagging in the middle of the night to have me awake.  He did really well until 5AM. That exact time too, because I checked.
He kept meowing and headbutting me.
Soon I put a pillow over my head to block out the noise and his big head nudging me.
Yet, in my half-awake state he brings his head into my air hole and smells me for some reason. I let it go and go back to sleep. Next thing I know, his paw is on my face, lightly padding me to get up.
SO FUCKING ADORABLE.

Todd is 37, I am 23.
Todd - *walks by and sees American Gods on my table* That was a good book when I read it fifteen years ago.
Me - You know, fifteen years ago, I was eight.

Ichibutt's Vacation

(Uh, was anyone reminded of Christmas Vacation with the title? "Did you hear that, honey? The shitter is full." <-- best line in the movie.)

So, I go to the operator's station to get some equipment and I happen to look down. I just glanced is all and begin to sign out my shit and I stop and look down again. Yup, the tardis just drawn. I don't know who did it, but it's funny.

High five, fellow team member, high five.

Friday, Gail and I worked together. Took me forever to make it back to where we work in the office, but when I did, I found this little box with the little figurine inside:

(You can see how much of an amateur I am with photos - my shadow in there and all.)

 I went and hugged her. Found her and hugged her.

I cancelled with Alura and felt awful. (PMS)

Work Saturday went really well, until I had to clean up an entire bottle of chocolate milk that had spilled all over the place while SIMULTANEOUSLY doing back-ups and helping guests. It was awful. Got sticky, oh yeah. Anyway.

I cancelled with Alan and I felt awful. (PMS)

But last night I did receive my b-day gift from Alan and I fucking loved it. It was all very thoughtful and thank you again, Alan.

Firstly, ladies and germs, yes, a Batman bag. Keeping it.

Secondly, a fucking RIKU card and he drew it himself (and, not to mention, he used my blog name). I kind of fangirl over it, but that's me and I love it. I'm going to frame it.

Thirdly, look at that fucking mug! I loved that mug when he showed it to me at his apartment. He made it at a ceramics class at WKU. I told him how cool I thought it was and he gave it to me.

Fourthly, the movie. Oh hell yes. I love that movie and he bought it.

Wonderfully done, Alan, wonderfully done.

While at Alan's and we were all gaming with Scotty, I was knitting. A good two hours of knitting.

I wrapped what I had of the scarf around my neck to justify its length. Scotty looked over and asked, "Oh, is it done?"

Alan and me looked over with shocked expressions.

"Yeah, she's only been knitting on it since she's been here."

With a half-scared and half-laughing expression, my hands hovering over it, "Oh God, it just grew here, I don't know what to do with it!"

I am planning an end of summer post that's going to be huge and hold my sassy wit that everyone seems to not notice (I'm an attention whore!). Kidding, folks. But, there will be one and I will make it large and in charge.

The Struggles of Hormones

(I got this from Scotty and I don't know where he got it from.)

I do have a great bunch of friends (which will be embellished later on in the next post because I want this separate). The downwind of Aunt Flow's visit swept over my body and created such havoc that I want to personally, and publicly, thank all the people who managed it this month. Although they are fantastic and they try to act like they understand, it's just no man can understand until they have all the hormones fall at once, almost flatline, without warning. Men get a steady stream of all their hormones, making them appear more even tempered. They have this nice line that just cradles their emotions and has their life seem more important than the overemotional female.

-insert eye roll.-

As a female, the promise of an even-tempered period is rare, almost obscene, and is usually caused by lack of triggers in their surrounding environment. But for the woman who can't walk across a room without being affected by the way sunlight hits their floor are the ones who seek help. Most of the time it's birth control.

Of course, BC isn't covered by insurance companies because of men telling women how to live their lives. (The lives they're helping are the ones they destroy -- men purge their dick everywhere they can without repercussions, the women have to incubate theirs.) OR, if they can afford BC, their bodies don't like it and it's better to remain off it and have these emotional bell curves in their lives.

That's me.

I usually handle it by cuddling with Princess, watching cheesy romance flicks, or eating my weight in chocolate (because of the serotonin in it, it tricks our body for having that moment of happy hormone). Just for the record, when the cravings hit, I will kill you for a piece (see what low serotonin can cause?).

For fun, I thought I would list the triggers that trigger me into knowing PMS (remember, that PRE MENSTRUAL SYNDROME, my period has yet to come) has hit.

1. When someone scrapes the fucking coffee mug while stirring. Just scrapping that fucking paint off with their teaspoon because they think the liquid fucking adheres to the ceramics.

2. When I'm watching a movie for background noise and a part with an uplifting part that would normally make me laugh brings tears to my eyes. "She's so supportive!" I'll say and wipe my eyes. I then stop and curse at myself.

3. When my dog trips over her own feet and I start to cry.

4. When my sister washes dishes. She washes them one at a fucking time without a sink full of water. In which case, it gets water every-fucking-where.

5. I can't stand to be around guys. Not men, boys and guys. Half the time they talk about other women, and the other half they're being guys and that somehow gets on my nerves surprisingly.

6. The people I grin and bear it with and the ones I hide from.

7. Smells. Different smells each time, but some make me want to vomit.

Yeeeaaahhh, I'll end it there because I'm pissing my own self off here.

My Big Birthday Post

I know, for a girl who doesn't even believe in celebrating birthdays I sure am talking a lot about mine. That's easy to explain. You see, I like attention. Honestly, though, I like the camaraderie of my fellow man to wish me a happy day, which is strange, because I never used to tell people it was my birthday before. Anywho. I have a small, but vibrant post this evening:

Marina - You excited about your b-day?
Me - No. Twenty-three is a big number -- kids can't count that high.

Got a couple of unique birthday wishes:

And then a shout out to all who wished it:
Marina, Alan, Fallon, Becky, Todd, Jake, Kassandra, Marc, Kathy, Jim, Michael, Brandy, Brianne, (The previous four names were told, not out of their hearts) Janet, Gail, Randy, Mom, Dad, Amanda, Cheryl, Chris, Kyle (little boy, haha), Princess, Molly, Lisa, O'Charleys, Amazon, and I think that's it.

Walked into work. Todd said hi, nothing else. Saw him again and he said my name weirdly and I asked if he had anything to say to me. He said, "I said your name."
I stared blankly at him.
He then gave a long nod, "Ohhhh, Happy Birthday."
So, later, I was sitting on my break with Jake, my hand resting on the half-wall at the food court and all of the sudden I get this card slipped between my fingers. I saw a glimpse of Todd before he walked away.
I opened it, well, after asking, "Why did you go ahead and seal it?":

Thanks, Todd! I really liked it. Deserved a handshake, but I don't know where your hands have been.

Mom - Look, ribbons on hangers. *hiccup*
Me - Is that on pinterest?
Mom - I don't know what pin-interest is. *hiccup*
Me - Pinterest, mom.
Mom - Pin-interest. *hiccup.*
Me - P-interest. It's not pin then interest, it's just interest with a p attached to the front of it.
Mom - So, it's not pin then interest? *hiccup*
Me - No.
Mom - *looks at me then hiccups.*
Me - *Screams in her face.*
Amanda - OMG HEATHER!
Me - Did that work?
Mom - *hiccups.*

My sister and dad were playing Fable together. Well, my sister was tired of yelling the questions so she made him put on headphones and speak like that. Well, she kept laughing and looking over whenever she was talking with him. I asked why she even put the headphones on. I then tried them on. My dad honestly sounds like those 18-year-old douchebags in the gaming world. His voice isn't even deep, it's still at asshole pitch; it's awesome. No wonder no one believes he's 40-something in his games.

Remember in my previous post with the pic of my no-lace converse? Well, this was me taking it:

I didn't know Fallon wanted me apart of her photoshoot. AND, still no dandruff.

Uh, those are also my, "We're spray painting tonight!" pants.

Uh.

I'm hunnnn-graaaay. So, uh....

Peace.

ps - Jogged an entire mile without stopping. I could've went longer, actually, but my I would've started getting stitches in my side. I know my comfort levels: I'm jogging and comfy doing so; I'm jogging and my semi-comfy doing so; I'm jogging and my body is screaming, "OMG STOP TRYING TO BE A HERO!" I was closing in on the last one there.

Huffing Something (Spray paint!)

Well, well, well, we meet again. And on fine circumstances I must say. I have returned from my busy weekend and now have a long-ass post to post because I want to post and use the word post for this post. Post.

Look at my cool purple converse, not at the cool lace. No, look at my laceless converse for the girl on the go. Okay, now look at the cabinet door. That's the finished pattern. Isn't it awesome as shit?! Fallon received the idea from pinterest. I helped some. I did take two cabinet doors off (the others' screws were too stripped to remove... Strangely, not from me). We even sprayed her drawers and I wish I had a picture but I didn't want to post her house without permission.

I looked damn good with a screw gun though, oh yeah.

During trying to take all the cabinets down, Fallon was cooking. She asked me to cook the chicken. It wasn't all the way thawed, but it needed to happen. So, with the light-grease in the pan hot, I stood over it and asked myself, "Is food worth third degree burns?"

Then I decided it wasn't, so I asked the powers of the universe to absorb into my body so I could be lightning quick. I dropped one chicken breast into the pan and ran for it. Seemed like grease shot three feet in the air. I made a mess and felt horrible about it. But, eventually, both breasts were in the pan safely and I wasn't burned! The power thing worked.

We started this activity at around 10PM... It ended somewhere in 11PMish... Fallon asked me within that span at least three times if I was still okay, if I was getting tired. Ha. "I'm on granny time." Wish we have cabinet we could do this to. It's so pretty. I would do pink just because Fallon HATES the color. That's right, drama with the all caps. (Btw, Fallon, did you notice I gave you the pink glass at Becky's?)

Later that night, when we were all settling for the dream world, Sean reminded us that there was a meteor shower. You guys know I was there. Saw a few actually. Halfway in, Fallon decided to get a quilt, cover, and pillow. We laid on the ground and watched the sky. Never did that with other people. Of course, I did it when I was alone and drunk. Well, I stood in the middle of my yard, mumbling angry words at my neighbor's security light, look to the sky, and turn back, ha. Anyway, it was a fucking beautiful night.

The next day went to Becky's and helped celebrate her birthday.

Of course, it was not problem to help celebrate with her husband on the grill and with the birthday cake.

Fallon revealed her b-day gift to me:

I fucking love the ducks. They're on my shelf now, chilling with the other three, getting to know each other, exchanging numbers and their twitters (ha, get it? Wait, quakers? Naw, I need to make an oatmeal joke to make that one work).

The card says some special things that I won't post, but it did have 20 bucks. Ca-ching! Kidding. Fallon, love it, I truly do. It meant a lot to me, you have no idea.

Next, Becky revealed unto me the gift for, uh, me: 

There's a tie in there to knit, along with a chess board, and some sweater vest that I will be on like white on fucking rice. I fucking love it. This book will come to great and wonderful things. Oh, the cyborgs from Doctor Who, soooo going to knit that once I get a chance.

Fallon and I then played Battleship. Never did play it before and I enjoyed it. Lost miserable. It was as if I was sending all the wrong vibes for Fallon to guess my locations.

Man I have a big day tomorrow too. Turning a year older and all.

Oh God, 23-years-old tomorrow. I never thought I'd see this old.

Which reminds me.

I want a globe. This has been an official note to self from Heather.

This post is subject to change.

Revelation of The Nerd

<< That's me. See, no dandruff.
I have recently been called a "nerd" on multiple occasions in the past week or so. Shut up, this information is new to me. I have never been called this term before and it is slightly shocking. I honestly just thought everything I did was awesome and cool. Haha. Now I think people don't take me as seriously because I sometimes snort when I laugh. I brought this up to my sister (the nerd thing, not the snorting) and she just blankly looked at me and said, "Yeah, so what? I'm a geek." I always knew that. Man, she loves computers, loves South Park, and wears fucking cosplay shit. Not ashamed, just naming out facts here. I thought my universe fascination, earth fascination, reading, writing, knitting, making cool flash cards, collecting bath ducks, mugs, comics from the Sunday paper, and pigs were cool. Not saying it isn't, but damn. Oh, and button-ups are cool (ha, just loosely quoted Doctor Who).

Anyway, with my little picture up there (^), Scotty and I have been trying to think of funny captions.
He sent, "The writer of The Last Unicorn died today." (Little does he know, I hated that fucking movie.)
I sent, "I told her that her cheesecake wasn't coming today." (Yeah, I got my birthday cheesecake and loved it!)
Sadly, even with my mad skillz, I couldn't think of anything else. I am sad and pathetic today. See my optimism?
EDIT 8/11/13: "I just told Heather that she's a nerd."
(Seems completely obvious now.)

However, Scotty is starting up this collaborating of different artists for a magazine. I love the idea and am part of it, so maybe my opinion is biased. He likes the writing style of this little blog here and yeah. No need to self-gloat. I'm going to write articles. I'm thinking of opinion pieces. The magazine is my oyster.

Met a few good people. Rachel is one of the girls attending and she makes clay figurines. I asked how much for the ninja octopus and now I have a necklace!

That's right, be jealous.

Scotty had another girl who was attending, Rhieanna, on skype. She wasn't paying attention so he just started drawing faces on the board while looking back. He ended up with the middle finger last. ANOTHER BE THERE MOMENT SO FUCK YOU.

EDITTTT: (8/11/12)

Todd said this part seemed rushed (well, along with my entire blog post), so I wanted to elaborate... I will in the exact way I elaborated for Todd:

Rhieanna's attention wasn't entirely focused on the meeting or whatever. She kept muting herself and once got up from her webcam. So, Scotty, while trying to project the group's work on the dry erase, looked back and she put herself on mute and was yelling or something to her mother. So, he then started making sad faces on the board. First, Rhieanna. Second, himself. Third, Tiffany. Finally, when Rhieanna still wasn't noticing, he started drawing the middle finger while looking back at her. That's him finished and looking at the webcam for recognition, which finally came.

This weekend will be busy again:

Saturday - Work, Fallon's where we'll be painting her cabients, sleeping over, and baking.

Sunday - Going to Becky's to celebrate her b-day and I think mine. I don't want to include myself to seem like a selfish bitch.

Monday - I'm doing shit but reading. Fuck the world for one day.

Me - *watches Todd walk up while talking to Janet* Man, Brittany (name changed for the sake of privacy) was all up your ass today.
Todd - *smiles and says something I forgot*
Janet - I would hate to be in your position, Todd.
Me - Yeah, especially since Brittany was in his ass.
Todd then elbowed me.

EDIT 8/11/2050: - Future Heather is still rockin'.

Coupon Hell

This is my mother's infamous stockpile that actually hinders me from inviting people over. Usually, if I do, people just stop and gawk and love to assume everything. So, I just invite people I'm really close to over and just leave it at that. That's not many, folks.

My mother began couponing over a year ago, in April.

She loved it.

I think that is short, sweet, and to the point.

I wish I had the counts on all our items but it would take way too long for me to care. I mean, she's not an extreme couponer or anything, she just does it every Sunday to get what she wants, despite us being oversupplied. It's the thrill of the deal.

So, today, I got my teeth cleaned. My dentist wished me an early birthday (it's next Monday... the 13th. I demanded my birthday cheesecake early, ha). Then I went to Fallon's work place and hung out a bit. She told me something funny:

Her and Arwen (her dog) were walking up and down her driveway when a bunny hopped out from her neighbor's house. Arwen, of course, went for it, and Fallon said she was going, "ESCAPE, BUNNY, ESCAPEEE!"

....

Maybe it's funnier if you were there to hear her voice sharpen and her hands doing their jazzy dance.

Then I went to my work place to wait on Jake to get there for his orientation so I could give him his hat.

We stood there talking for a bit and he made some poop joke.

I said that I was in the bathroom with two women shitting simultaneously. 

He asked, "Really? Did they give each other a high-five over the stalls?"

I laughed louder than was necessary on that one, but the mental image, guys, was hilarious.

Played Coldstream on L4D2 last night with Alan, Scotty, Jake, and some dude.

The one dude was the tank in versus. Next thing I know, he's saying, "BOULDERRR," and starts rolling this huge fucking boulder toward the survivors. He kept repeating the noun as he was rolling it.

I wish I hadn't of had a shitty day to enjoy playing longer.

Uh.

I was playing and I said, "Fuck!" sharply as my mother walked in the room.

"Heather!" she exclaimed.

"Well, mom, don't walk into the room if you don't want to hear it."

Ha. I have Eye of the Tiger playing and as my sister came in earshot, she started doing this upper-body jig as she walked into her room. I don't even think she noticed.

Welp, I'm out of ideas and no more quarters left.

Field Day

It's a fun field entry this evening, ladies and germs.

The weekend's end is nearly upon us and some shit happened:

Friday - Nothing.

Saturday - Work sucking, then Todd's

Sunday - Gave Fallon her purse at my knitting lessons, finished Jaccob's hat, and got a little closer with the sisters.

Now to write this entry completely backwards:

(See the awesome bobbles???)

Oh me, oh my. It only took me a good three days - and that's finishing one piece of the three piece ensemble over one day. Now, sewing it together took hours because I forgot how AND I suck at sewing. No harm in having no pride in it. She loved it. And I actually can't wait until she goes about wearing it.

I'm fantasizing about someone else's fantasy. 

I realllllly need a life.

BUT, I am jealous of it, haha.

Jaccob's hat! Before you guys ask, no, he didn't want a pom pom. Please shut the jaws because I tried and he really didn't want one. So, instead of the tip being really, really pointy, I made it more round to make up for the lack of said pom pom. I'm sure there's a penis joke in there somewhere.

I really love stocking caps. They take forever to knit though. My upper back was fucking killing me. I knitted the majority of nine hours at Todd's. I really, really, really, wanted to finish it Saturday night... Sadly, I suck. I joked about it, but I was in serious pain. I could've taken aspirin, but then I wouldn't seem badass through this entry.

Then for making him a Megaman Helmet, Scotty drew me this flower with a random circle at the end of the line. I'm still trying to use my imagination, Scotty. I'm thinking wrecking ball. I almost thought of those balls in the pinball machine, but that doesn't make sense in the longer scheme of things. The lines are intricate and I do like it, Scotty. Thank you.

THE GAME IS FINALLY FINISHED. 

Todd, write it the fuck up. 

Ended with Hex dying and then regenerating and taking the baby that was wrapped in Kyle's bloody jacket. 

Dun dun dun.

I want to say rebirth or something, but I'm not entirely sure how that works.

Oh, ran a 13:40 minute mile, finally. I'm getting there again. I remember the days when I got to a mile and a half without stopping.

I watched 50/50... That movie fucking sucked. It was another cancer movie -- the director creature added NOTHING new. It was just a long cliche. 

Yesterday I was getting off my exit from the interstate. As I'm at the stop sign waiting to turn right, I see the almost passing car slow down and try to merge onto the exit ramp through my open window space. Now, instead of honking or yelling to stop, I merely shake my head no, with my eyes wide. I know they saw me because the person in the passenger seat started laughing and the driver looked at me then the GIANT "WRONG WAY" signs and backed up a little to the main road. Ha. They then chose to drive 40mph which is the exact speed to piss me off in a 55 zone.

Next entry will feature pics of my mom's stock pile. That's right. Stock pile. Fuck with that.

Mr. Blue Sky

JAYNE COBB HAT, BITCHES. Yeah, Alan wanted me to knit him something since I knitted Scotty the Megaman Hat. I love the shape of this hat, aside from the rotten candy corn appeal. I'm thinking of lining it later on because it's a scratchy type yarn. I never watched Firefly but from Alan and NePaul mentioning it (which is a small idealistic world, don't'cha think?), I guess it's popular.
I knitted this hat in, like, five hours tops. Probably less. I was just watching Doctor Who... I think two and a half episodes passed before I worked on the earflaps... Oh well.

Played L4D2 Tuesday with Scotty, Alan (Biscuit is his name on xbox), and Hot Topic. I'm getting better! It's the small things, right?
Anyway.
Scores rolled upward on L4D2 as our campaign ended and Hot Topic and I were ranked the first two with the tank. Biscuit was last. Hot Topic said, "Looks like you got your biscuits burnt."

Fallon - Just make sure you don't buy a 20$ yarn ball.
Me - Yeah, they have 'em at 50.
Becky - Goodness, what're they made out of?
Me - I don't know. Probably the hair from God.
*They give small chuckles.*
Me - Or, the lambs that were sacrificed in His name.

Mom - If you don't get your butt in the shower, I swear to God I'm going to kick it.
Me - Mom, if you don't watch your mouth I'll stick my face in your butt!
*Pause... Mom starts laughing.*
Me - Wow, dyslexia moment.
Mom - Yeah, vice-versa.