that was amusing.

My sister has two friends over. They are all playing Battle Field 3. What's amusing is they've never played. Cory, one friend, was driving a jeep until something disabled it. He then starts running away and comes across this giant bulldozer and wonders if he can drive it.
Cory - I will be unstoppable!
Amanda - Until you hit a wall.
Haaaaaaaaaaa.

Last night I went to Todd's to work on our (Me and Jake's) gaming characters. Eventually Todd realized that he will be working on mine because I'm lazy and don't really want to understand all of it right now. That's right. NOT RIGHT NOW. Besides, Todd, if I didn't want to do it, don't you think I would tell you?
So, we played an awesome game - it's apparently similar to Balderdash. Fuck, I forgot the name, but it was fun. I kept my little stories with the words because it makes me laugh thinking about, "His espouse."
Hahaha, "Heather, it's a verb."

"The man felt something funny in his edifice. It was purloin, portend, and attenuate. He called his espouse. She agreed it was purloin, portend, and attenuate - the espouse did."

"The prisoner was afoot, not affable in his surroundings. He arrogated the gates and was happy about his enmity. He was not happy with being successfully abrogated - he was shocked."

"The bourgeois man, the alchemist, served an usurp position. The usurp position was the debility to efface his boss with his super genius. The alchemist won with this bourgeois."

Some of those I actually got right. Todd, after the third, brought in scattergories and some awesome game with naming different figures of history with clues. Forgot its name too. He said, "Time to play something less pretentious." I am only good with anything authors and even then I failed.
"An American author."
Wth?
Sometimes I feel like the giant sore. Haha. I know nothing useful. But, fuck, if you want to know about how to knit a sweater, I'm there.

Aw, my sister's other friend came to say hi, the third one. How sweet. I also asked her to press from Amanda where my sister would like to spend the night out on her 19th b-day. We'll see how my surprise works, haha.

Anyway. I have to write an essay. I miss the days of bullshitting; it's an art.

wait, where's the cat?

Well, I parked beside my friend, Fallon, yesterday. I decided, when I left, to leave a note. Since she's a huge fan of penguins I drew this for her. Haha, I put my notebook on the car, repeating, "I hope she doesn't have a car alarm." I am also surprised that no one had stolen it. You know how college kids are.

Wow, that was the only point of this entry. (I almost wrote essay -- see how much work I'm doing?).

why is ass play so popular?

It has been a boring couple of days. I cannot describe how uneventful life is or how extraordinarily awesome it is. I just wish I wasn't in school so I could read outside or some shit while it's pretty. I was sitting so long today, typing out a study guide, that my ass went numb. Let me repeat: My. Ass. Went. Numb. I took a shower and all that jazz just to feel it again. Alas, it's getting numb again because I have to awkwardly sit in my computer chair while my cat is all fucking cozy behind me, cleaning his paws.

I wanted to make a "paw" pun, but couldn't think of one. Sad.

Marina and I had lunch yesterday. I was talking about something personal, with my back against a couple. Well, in the middle of my sentence Marina stops looking at me and gives this angry look toward the side. She stops and says, "Continue."

I mouth, "Was that old bitch looking back?"

Marina nodded.

I continued, and Marina had to repeat that stare two or three more times.

That old woman would have had to turn all the way around to meet Marina's eyes. Seriously, what the fuck. However, why didn't I turn all the way around and join THEIR boring conversation about the wait staff. Haha, now that I think about it, I should have, it would've been fucking hilarious.

We tried on hats.

That one is personally my favorite.

Then Marina found this thing. It's hilarious. And it looks so natural on her too.

she's so heavvyyyy

Kyle - That slogan is so fucked up. I hate how the North Korean public had to grieve for a full 48 hours because of Kim Jong Il.
Me - Who's that?
Kyle - Who?
Me - Kim Jong Il
Kyle - 0/10 - You should try better next time.
Me - Damn.
Kyle - I know better than that. lol. If you were living under a Japanese rock. I told Garrett about it, he said "are you too busy being a weeaboo that you don't understand other real-world politics?" Hahaha...
Me - Hahaha, man I was going to ask you to go to his wiki page and get out the most important topics so I didn't have to read that much.
Kyle - You being serious about that? I already knew he had a Russian birth name.
Me - I would have. I would have drove it to the ground.
Kyle - Haha, your trolling failure is very disturbing.

this is your life... something time

It has been a funny couple of days. Todd is pretty awesome. I hope he reads this after he celebrates his birthday with his lovely wife. Her and her ranch popcorn. Bleck. They're going to Nashville and he's going to be singing, "Stroke it" by Clarence Carter. I hope you laugh at that, Todd.
I had e-mailed him some of my fellow classmate's work. The FUNNIEST thing in his bracket commentary is this: "Sometimes the girls would start in on Carla mumbling things like you don't belong here, go back to where you came from monkey, we don't eat dark meat nor do we drink chocolate milk![nor do we drink chocolate milk." One, all dem bitches drank chocolate milk. Two, what are they drinking from the black girl if chocolate milk does indeed imply a racist slang. . . a stupid slang. three, I think Monkeys are white meat, not dark meat. Going back to where she comes from would be down the block because the girl lives down the street. Are these bitches fucking cum drunk or what?]"
.....
"the girls lives down the street."
"cum drunk."
hahahahahahaha.
"Carla started to take a liking with a boy name Jason Flowers. [I know him. He fucked a goat on his thirteenth birthday. It was okay. They were dating.]"
My response to this was, at work, when Todd was laughing about it: *making humping motion* "Oh, you like those flowers. Take 'em, take those flowers."
Okay, maybe you have to take it in context. THIS IS A FUCKING ONLINE DIARY, BITCHES. Anyway, I don't want that woman googling herself and have this pop up, haaaaaa.

THEN, Kevin did/said something utterly hilarious. I had to write it down specially for his place.
Kevin looks over at another table where Connie is talking to another worker. Kevin quickly looks over to us, "Hey, do you guys have something I could throw at Connie?"
Todd replies, "Why do you want to throw something at her?"
"I want to see what she'll do."
Todd makes jokes about flipping over Kevin's coffee and my beef stew. (If he would have shit would got serious fast.)
"Never mind, I found some pennies."
He takes a second to soak in the moment before throwing one at her.
Connie smiles and says, "A penny!"
He throws one again and it lands right in Connie's outstretched palm, which was awesome, I had to document that.
Something was said and Kevin replied, "Hey, some people make it rain on hoes, but I like to make it hail." He then makes harsh throwing action at the floor. "Throw some pennies and dimes. Here bitches, dance!" he then leans back on his chair, smiling, "Ballah on a budget."

Other than that, quite uneventful.
Doing homework -- just two more assignments left for the week and I'm free over the weekend. Scotty and I are supposed to be doing something Saturday night. However, I'm debating whether I stay in and drink myself to a stupor (vodka is literally and figuratively chilling in my car) or hang at his place.

Right now I'm going to have another beer.

Fuck you bitches lata.

i have headphones on, not listening

Christmas has long sinced passed, I know this. Easter is the next religious holiday. I have been asked by my sister if Easter bothered me. I replied, "No, it doesn't. It's more for kids anyway."
"What about Christmas?"
"Christmas bothers me because One, it messes with my social schedule. Two, work fucking sucks."
If you know me at all, you know that I am an athiest and don't have a problem admitting it if someone asks. I am not the type of athiest to not say the pledge, or celebrate any holiday. I am the nicer athiest who believes in religious freedom (the technical meaning of it) and wants people to understand their beliefs and not prosecute them for it. Tough luck, I know. Anyway, Jesus does not bother me. I love the feeling of Christmas (as long as I'm not at work).

I wouldn't celebrate any holiday, not even birthdays, if it wasn't for family. That's how far into science I am. I don't understand the need to have holidays in the first place. Sure, for recognition, but the human race has long since used and abused this privilege for personal gain and a reason to binge drink. The earth wasn't built around bunny, a man and some ghouls coming up from their graves to walk to the earth. No, it was built to hosts species and to eventually expire with the sun. Which is cool, I get it. Any holiday is manmade, including birthdays. I could give a shit less about a birthday. I don't believe in celebrating them. I do because it's socially acceptable, not because I want to. I do see the beauty in religions, but I don't give a shit about them.

I am not saying I don't believe in God because there's bad in the world and he didn't answer my selfish prayers. No, I believe in the Big Bang Theory and the how the fucking universe is a miracle. There's literally no limit of thought to it.

Of course, we have to thank the evolving human brain. If we didn't evolve, we wouldn't have used stone tools, cooked food, religion or bury our dead. I guess humans have to have organization to live. Neanderthals.

THIS IS A FUCKING DRIVE BY

Yeah, that was the sky when I left Barnes and Noble yesterday. Pretty rad, right? I hung out with Fallon, a girl I met at a book club last semester. She's pretty rad. We're going to read Hunger Games for our book club, haha. She chose. She saw the commercial at "The Woman in Black" yesterday and she needed to read it -- which I understood. But, I am skeptical of its fame: It seems to be a offspring of "The Lottery" and "Battle Royale." Which, CREDIT NEEDS TO BE GIVEN TO THOSE ARTISTS. It won't be. If it does, then it'll become huge, again. Anyway, "The Woman in Black" sucked. It was like every other fucking scary movie. Actually, it's so similar that I can't compare it to one. Don't waste money. Fallon is reading the book and she disliked the movie, which I don't blame.

Me - *making punching motion in the air* Are you ready, Amanda?
Amanda - For what?
Me - Aerobics! *continuing motion*
Amanda - I don't think that's aerobics.
Me - Aerobics means moving.
Amanda - No, that's locomotion.
Me - *walks into the kitchen, mouthing "vacuum." Then holds up both middle fingers*
Amanda - What? Heather, what're you mouthing there?
Me - Vacuum, you need to vacuum.
Amanda - Are you sure?
Me - Yeah. I'm pretty sure you're a little vacuum.
Amanda - Wow, I'm pretty sure this conversation is disturbing -- and it's disturbing me in a bad way. *she turns away and continues to ignore me punching in the air again.*

If any of you don't understand the mouthing of vacuum then stop reading my blog.

I can't believe I have to wear these mittens now

Me - How do you make a .rar file?
Kyle - Do you have WinRAR?
Me - What's that?
Kyle - The app you use to compress the files into one, like a container. http://www.win-rar.com/index.php?id=postdownload&dl=/rar/wrar410.exe I know you're trolling by the way.
(But he still gave me a link.)
Me - What're you talking about? I don't know. .rars are hard.
Kyle - Well, I provided the link. lol. When you install it, just try to make it as invisible as you can. When it's installed, you should be able to select the album folders in your music list, right click and then go to "add to rar"
Me - Do you have a video or something?
Kyle - Well, yeah, check this out. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=ZN8VDeqq5Y8#t=26s
Me - It was too small. It didn't even fit the little box. Is their a way to make it full screen?
Then he had to leave. Damn. I was becoming a good fucking idiot.