That's Funny

(As I read over this I realized just how many typos/grammar mistakes I had. Try to spot them all yourself!)

I really should write down jokes as I hear them. I have the worst memory. Just today I put the cookies in the oven went to sit down and a couple minutes later I ask my mom if the stove was preheated. She said yes, so I went to go put the cookies in the over and they were already in there. I am fucking awesome.

I went to Todd's yesterday to hang out before the other two boys arrived. We watched Battle Royale. He fucking loved it, quote on quote.
There was this part where all the army went trotted to their trucks at once and I said, "Shotgun!" He didn't laugh and I felt unfunny. Dammit, I won't stand for it.

Anyway. Once the boys arrived, Todd introduced us to his neighbors apartment which had been cleared out. I was the last down the stairs and I turned off the light on the stair which I thought was the last one. I was wrong. I nearly broke my nose when I almost fell on my face. A big "OOOMMMPH" exited from me. Haaaaaa.

Anyway, Todd opened up to me about his marriage and I am very glad he did -- not that there's trouble in paradise, just how he can open up to me. I like to be approachable sometimes. Anyway, my lack of knowledge to the relationship pool is awful. I finally realized how unrequited with love I am. I need to get in the game, don't I?

Marina stopped on her way home from church to say hi. I was initially going to wait outside for her to wave as she passed, but she one-upped me. Ha, this reminds me when she and I were eating on campus the other day and I didn't "Not look at these girls she pointed at the right way." I told her, "Marina, you're best friends with a dorky white girl, gtfo it."
Ha.
She saw me in my "doing a 3,000 word research paper and I'm slouchy look." I'm surprised she didn't go blind.

Wrote another poem for class. We had to use "When the Clouds Break." I feel it's cliched for "when the clouds break" but it ended being that way. OH THE FUCK WELL, BITCHES.

When the Clouds Break

When the clouds break, they have me in smiles

It’s the funny way

They have shapes:

Dinosaurs,

Food,

Faces,

Blobs

When the clouds break, sometimes the mean ones

Dark and menacing,

Have the most to offer.

The more I smile

The grayer they become

When the clouds break, I am finally able

To see the sky

The sun hidden,

Its rays like arms

Trying to push

The funny cloud away

When the clouds break, there are shadows

Sliding under my feet

Slipping away behind me

Even with all the shapes

I find myself looking down

When the clouds break, there is clarity

Now and then the shapes

Glide above me

As if the clouds mimic earth

Finding it just as funny

Hallmark Moment

Yeah, you know that's fucking adorable.

So, I bought my parents a new faucet. Be jealous. It's part of their presents until 2013, so I'm not THAT generous.

School has been school. Received a sunburn from walking around campus yesterday with Marina. I can't scratch my face/chest.

Scotty texted me yesterday (he works at a cleaners):
Scotty - Good God work is boring as shit today. I just wanna hang myself.
Me - Can't you play dress up with the clothes?
Scotty - Work is like an irremovable benign cancer on your right testicle. You feel it, you know it's there and there isn't a single thing you can do about it.
Me - Ha. What a simile. Love it.

Today has been so fucking productive that I actually want to do nothing, which already happened. Finished the last four episodes of scrubs. They should've never made a ninth season.

Oh, and my creative writing teacher has been weird to me lately. I just thought he didn't like the person I had been (because I wrote about a high night I once had -- I asked permission) and since then he has been very, very weird towards me. So, yesterday, I stayed after class to ask him a question and he told me he wanted to speak to me first. Basically, he said that he was very, very honored to have me in his class and that he's glad I'm there for the other students to realize how to better their writing. He said I was an inspiration to them (ha!). Oh, and that my eye for detail is amazing. I was stunned that this man had wrote on a girl's paper in class, "This is good if you want to write for hallmark."
HAAAA.
Oh, I never posted my finished sonnet. Well, I'll go ahead and post all the poetry I've done thus far because I'm quite boring otherwise.

The Scent of You

The smell has you in it – a soft, but firm

Aroma soaking in the clothes, the fabrics,

The thoughts of you. Somehow the odor squirms

Under my skin, infecting the rhythmic 

Beat of my heart. I feel like it murders,

Slowly constricting pumps to make venom.

Veins alter color: Green, red, black deeper

Than I can clarify. In waves, symptoms

Appear in my flesh, mimicking the lull

Of breathing, only… The smell is all I

Have; it’s rare, nearly sudden flashbacks mull

The scent of your lips, skin, ears, hair, and eyes.

My breathing is shallow, a perfect mold

Of what lingers in the air, and in me.

Blindly Beautiful

From the plains of Africa

With stripes and tusks

To plant-less cities

With blinking cellphones

And headlights as stars

From the stacked stones

With miles of solitude

To coral reefs

With colorful life

And water like a glass prison

From the land of the rising sun

With tongue-tied language

To romance

With cathedrals like a castle to God

And the smell of coffee feeding passersby

From the barefooted temples

With a mantra of aligned hands

To the sunset low on the horizon

With natural sleep

And misshapen shadows

Life Above Us

A moon?

That piece of rock

Hanging in the sky?

Not hanging, but

Flying around Earth

A symbol of freedom

Each crater a scar—

A reminder of how it fights;

Fights to be flying

The earth is glued to the sky

The stars like the Sun’s minions

Its guards to keep order:

Little dipper,

Big dipper,

The Great Hunter

Tiny white dots as ponds

Are all codes

With their Morse code lights

The Earth spins and spins

Trapped in its escape plan

Twist, turn, roll, spiral

Repeat

The universe is dizzy from watching

Planets sway,

Stars Explode,

Earth tries to pull in the moon

For a hostage

And I'm done with this song

Yeah, that's where Fallon (she's the piece of arm/elbow in the far left-hand corner) and I sat to wait for a Hunger Games showing the day it released, at 3:40 in the afternoon. Yeah, they still had to have people wait in lines. Weird, right? However, the 7PM showing had a line around the building. The movie, what can I say. It should've stayed a book or had more going on with the character's head. Because, as I heard a woman tell a manager of mine, "It would've been better if they had a narrator in it. I mean, when she's sitting in a tree, that's all she's doing." I've noticed the hype is lessoning. People probably thought a hardcore bloodbath. They were sadly mistaken. It was PG-13 with senseless romance and plot-lines that were never fully answered. They were like, "That fighting was so anti-climatic." It was.
They were in the forest for at least a week, right? Well, she kisses this boy who just had this muck and shit on him and I say, "Ewwww."
Fallon asks, "What?"
I reply, "Their breath probably smells like rotten fish."
She just blinks, "Is that what you're seriously thinking about?"
Yes, yes it always is.

So, Battle Royale was released Tuesday. I am so fucking excited to have it on DVD. It'll be here next week for me :( Once it is, I'm ignoring the world for a couple of hours, like I do when True Blood playing. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. I've followed it since episode one, don't ask me why. I also like Jersey Shore and Ghost Whisperer. I'm not going to say anything else, I'll just let you think about it.

I am also trying to write on a Sonnet that's do Monday. I suck at poetry. No shame.
Here's what I have so far:

The smell has you in it -- a soft, but firm
Aroma soaking in the clothes, fabrics,
the thoughts of you. Somehow the odor squirms
Under my skin, infecting the rhythmic
Beat of my heart. I feel as if it murders,
Slowly constricting pumps to make venom.
Veins alter color: Green, red, black deeper
Than I can clarify. 

I HAVE FUCKING WRITER'S BLOCK. FUCK IT. FUCK LIFE. Haha. I hate poetry. I respect it, but it doesn't meant that I have to like it. I know it's not in perfect iambic pentameter, but it's hardddddd.
I am trying to go that she is the smell, and he hates to love it, or she, doesn't matter - I try to make my writing as androgyny as possible.

MEOW, I'M A LITTLE BITCH, MEOW

It's been a slow week for all bloggers it seems. What I should be doing is taking a shower and reading essays for my English 300 class. But mind your own beeswax, buster.

So, I'm going through that old blog of mine again. Found one where Pedro had asked me to redo his myspace (never let me do that - I will write nonsense).

11 June 2007 @ 14:57
I wrote this in Pedro's about me section:
Hm, well, I'm male.
I live with my dad.
I like to play video games that I'm never good at AND think I am.
My hero is Dr. Phil and Spiderman. Wow, the perfect couple.
My favourite food is lasagna and it takes me about 20 minutes to eat a couple of small chicken pieces.
I straighten my hair.
I suck at text messaging.
I feed my ego so much bull, that it is, indeed, a bull.


And, this for his who i'd like to meet section:
A chico, plain and simple.


14 June 2007 @ 15:27
Mom: Heather, dust off the living room tables!
Me: Why? Who's coming over, no one. It's half past screw yourself, mom.
Sister: Haha, that was funny. *She looked at mom*, yeah, admit it, it was funny.
Me: *laughs*
Sister: It's funny because she's retarded.

18 June 2007 @ 08:19
so how have you been? how's the summer sun treating you? since it doesn't rain anymore. i suppose when the great flood comes I'll be safe because i've been in a boat and I shall use the great paddle to slap you away into the deep abyss! unless you are kind and do as i say and agree to enter yourself into slavery under my control


Pedro, uh, wtf.
Hahaha, that boy <3

22 June 2007 @ 20:16

I deleted my myspace, haha.
An old "friend" of mine messaged me with some shit like, "You never came to see me and now I'm moving. And, you never replied to anything. Great friend."

I'm like, "lolll, guess what I'm STILL not replying to."

(You know that's funny? She adds me on FB every time I make a new one.)

I went to the new Smiths Grove library today with my sister. It still smelled of paint and reminded me of the year I had to work with my parents. Ha. It was nice, but still had shit for books.

Oh, funny vomit story.

I did drink last night which was a mistake.

I ate salad before passing out.

Which splashed back up in my face later on that morning.

I am so fucking awesome.