♪: the belle stars - iko iko

URRGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Here's my ear flap hat from its good side:

It was completely finished. Ends sewn in and everything. And then I found this loop I accidentally pulled at. Thinking it was a string that the end was stuck, I cut it in half and weaved it in those ends.... Come to find out....


It was a fucking stitch. I cut in half a line of a stitch.
No way to fix it.
I literally have to buy more yarn and START FROM SCRATCH.
MNFJGDKMGNL'DFKNG;FKLDGN.

I was so angry.. Once that passed I want to cry, haha.

Good news:



So adorable.

ps - called in to work and turned down the offer to work tomorrow.
Fuck work.
I'm not doing them anymore favours.
They took all the bearable aspects of that demeaning job and shat in its face.
URGH.
I should be thankful.
Alas.
I'm a spoiled brat.

pss - I meant to post my nightmare, but I forgot until I was knitting on a new hat... Ha ha.
Well, I wasn't scared... Throughout the dream I was like, "Eh."
Didn't care.
Kind of like watching an old woman getting pulverized by three large men and not caring.

I had gone to a store to buy items, not just look around. I had change and a few dollars. I had to pay in mostly change, about twenty bucks worth and the cashier was pissed. She kept screaming at me how unfair this was, how I needed to leave. She snatched the dollar bills from my hand and told me she was not giving it back.
Frustrated, I screamed at her, telling her I needed that money and I would get her fired without it.
She didn't seemed phased, so I left.
The next thing that happened was weird.
I kind of blacked out in my own dream. There's this blank space and I kind of wake up in my dream to me smashing down on that cashier with a paddle and a pass to get in the store at night - kind of like a facility with bio hazards. The woman and her fellow cashier were hunched over asleep and I remember thinking, 'Why don't they just go home and go to bed.'
Yet, as I was beating the shit out of this woman, blood splattering everywhere, it crimson because it was dark, I couldn't stop. I felt the need to attempt, to demand my body to stop. Sadly, I continued to beat down on her until her organs were mush. I screamed and cried, killing her friend and some security guard who woke up and/or ran in on the scene.
Not caring about fingerprints, I walked calmly out, taking my forearm to my eyes and thinking, 'what have I done? Why did I black out?'
I tried to search for my car. I could not remember where I parked.
I cried, ripping off the pass and throwing it on the ground, thinking, more evidence.
I ran back, to the store, sorry for what I did.
When I walked in, it finally sunk in at what I had done.
Those bodies.
Lifeless, soulless.
Blood everywhere.
I started screaming for a manager.
my hands on my face, trembling wondering still how I couldn't stop myself.
The manager arrived with police, trying to lighten the mood about how he didn't have cancer, haha.
And all the while the police were taking pictures, asking me questions, I kept repeating, "I couldn't find my car, I can't remember where I parked."
But, yeah, I woke up shortly after that.
Everything was so real.
Throughout the dream, too, I was wearing a dress with a cardigan.
Nice.

OHHHHHHH BOYYYYYYYYYYY.
It's been quite bland.
I've done nothing but knit, open presents, buy a new iphone and sit here and say, "I only have ten minutes until work. I need to be drugged before I go in."
My Christmas presents, however, consisted of....
- A new knitting tote
- Noro yarn (if you don't know what that is, look it up)
- DPNs
- Knitting patterns and magazines
- And great scents from the local bath and body works

AND.
I have finished two pairs of socks.
My sister's scarf is still in the works.


Yeah!
Step yarn from Germany.
Honestly, I hope it feels awesome on her feet because that yarn is expensive.


I'm wearing them right now.
The picture was taken with the new iPhone 3Gs... Can't you tell a difference?

Last night, Amanda and I had an in depth conversation about if I, or she, were the last the person on Earth.
THEN.
If there was one person from every state left and would we be in war just like the civil war except for the whole slave thing.
But, no, because it would only be 24 against 25 because California has such an ego, they would claim it as a country.
But what about a person left from every country, province, state?
The downfalls, the upsides.
It was a nice conversation I wish I had recorded, haha.

ps - my new iphone is white.
Makes me happy.

♪: van morrison - brown eyed girl

Welp, it's been very uneventful.
Work sucks, still... I don't think that will ever change.
I slept eleven hours last night, had very boring dreams about coupons and I hated that I didn't get to save five bucks with my coupon.
I hope those dreams turn into nightmares. I love my nightmares.

Anyway.
Hung out with Emily last night, well, last afternoon.
Went over to John's, again, and his girlfriend was there - she's from California.
She doesn't like me... It's so obvious, but she's cool about it.
She supposedly knits and she had stuff to say about mine, haha. Not that I cared - I was too far gone to care. I haven't been that high in ages.
Seriously.
I smoked way too much.
BUT.
The girls, Emily and John's girlfriend went to the minit mart to buy cigarettes (I think I'm the only one who doesn't smoke) and I was left with their men.
Hahahahahahaha.
They were talking about 2012 and John thought our technology IS FROM ALIENS.
wtf, right?
Then he continued, "And when they show up at our front door, they'll all be like, 'Take me to your leader.'" He used some stereotypical voice imitation.
Jonny laughed and told him, "No, man, they wouldn't sound like that."
I laughed.
John said, "You're right, they would be more suave." And he imitated a James Bond voice, 'That's right, lovely, take me to your leader.'
Still makes me laugh.
There are other things you had to be there for, ugh.
It was more fun than I thought it would be.
As I was driving to Book Gallery, I was freaking out. I just had a buzzkill moment with my mother - which now doesn't seem all that bad, but still. I was driving and I was doing 49 in a 55. It seemed I was driving at lightening speed. There was this car behind me and I was freaking out it was a cop following me (I've had that happen, ugh)... So, I signal for the other lane.
The car passed me and sure enough, it was a cop.
SO, freaking out about not being able to drive straight, or sober-like, was useless.
I passed the ultimate test, haha.
I was fine from there on.
BUT, as the alien conversation was happening, I was texting MOZE.
Below is an indication of how high I was:
MOZE - What day did you send your package off?
Me - Haa what package?
MOZE - What ever you sent me. When did you send me whatever it is you sent?
Me - I don't remembering sending the package of any kind.
MOZE - Okay. I got confused last week then. Either that or i superimposed a different conversation onto you... Which means i have to find out who sent me something....
Me - Haha. I think that's what happened.
MOZE - Fuuuuck. Ima have fun now.

♪: snl - threw it on the ground

GO TO THIS LINK
My friend drew me that for Christmas. It's her character Kurushimu. The one she created, but I gave personality to in Phase 7. Haha. It's a Christmas present.

♪: 브라운 아이드 걸스 - abracadabra

Anyone watch the video to this song? Sexy.
I love Korean women. So jealous :(

A telemarketer called our house today. My annoyed sister answered the phone.
"Bonjour?"
Then she asked his name in french.
Then she said 'No.'
Then she hung up.
Come to find out after she had asked his name in French the marketer asked, unsure of himself, 'Parle...?'
Haha.

Yesterday I kicked it with Emily, Jonny and Jonny's friend John.
John is very awkward and nasty.
He looks down my shirt and blatantly adjusts and scratches himself right in front of me.
Makes me, ew.
But, since me and Emily are girls and they're guys, me and her usually have our own conversations. Um. Hair.
Nails.
New clothes.
How the sales are going.
We'll be in deep conversation about my hair-how it would look if I messed it up, how it feels, how I wash it and just the guys start imitating us. Pretty funny.
We ended up looking at pictures of me and I would explain each of them :) How egotistical of me.
THEN, we watched 'Threw it on the Ground' by snl and 'OBSCURE' by Dir en grey. Their videos high are simply awesome.
OH.
I actually got them to watch five minutes of 'This is a pen' by ensoku.
jasbnfisdgfdklg.
hahahahahahaahahha.
If you have a chance - youtube that shit.
Emily didn't like my hair. 'Didn't go with my face.'

Sarah's last day was today :(
She realllllly wants to take me out for my 21st in August. We text and all that, but, ugh, I'm gonna miss her.
We all made her a penis cake.
She turned three shades of red, haha <3

♪: roach - ひまわり

Today = bad. Grotesquely bad.
So bad I can't even, no.


Finished my father's hat. Just the same as Pedro's, I know... But I still can't believe it's finished. Another one. Makes me happy.


NEW HAIR, once again.
I came in, said '70s Shag' and she did that.
I know it's not a great photo, but the good part is that I can wake up and go. No fixing. I love the messy dirty look but not really look, haha.
It looked better when the hairdresser did it.
Every single fucking time.

I WANT THE ELEVENTH EPISODE OF DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES TO FINALLY BE HERE. I AM ON EDGE, OMG.
Haha.
The younger version of what a middle-aged housewife is thinking.

and I've been so worn out. Hence nearly a week without a word.
48 hour weeks.
Sometimes I work 12-hour days.
Not a happy girl.

♪: lily allen - smile

So, I walked into my house yesterday to hear my sister yelling to my mom that her name meant lovable, and that was the answer. Although my sister and mom are in the living room, my father is in the bedroom, door open, helping to answer the crossword they were all trying to finish. Haha. My dad was cheating, he googled some of the answers.
What is an extinct elephant-like mammal?
No, not mammoth.
Mastodon.

I had a nightmare that night.
Oh boy, another one.
This one was ridiculous, but it was scary in the moment.
Me, my friend and her mother had decided to go to this zoo. Now, there's this giant ring full of dangerous animals and reptiles. An invisible force field kept them at bay. So, as we driving we learned that you couldn't back up and there was only one exit and you had to drive the entire course.
The entire way this gigantic gorilla circled with us. Suddenly, someone had cut the field off and all the dangerous animals went crazy. Me, my friend and her mother were all trapped.
The mother got out of the car and tried to ward off a T-rex that had jumped in front of the car.
She did for awhile until a terradactyl swung down and pecked her face. She wailed and held her face in her hands and the reptilian bird carried her off.
Me and my friend ran off, trying to dodge this and that... We tried the enter door and ran, dodging animals, crying, ran to the exit and it was shut off. I kept thinking we were stuck here until we die.
The gorilla spotted us and started to us. I screamed and finally jarred the door open. Me and my friend squeezed in right before the gorilla got us and I woke up to a full bladder.

I'm knitting my father a hat - exactly the same as Pedro's. As he was walking by, as I was knitting on the hat, I asked, "If I knit this for you, will you wear it? Because I don't want to waste this much time if you're not going to wear it."
"I will, trust me."
"Seriously?"
I heard my mother, "Put a ball on it."
My dad agreed, "Yeah, but one of those balls on it."
I chuckled, "Seriously? 'Cause I'll do it."
My dad, before shutting the bedroom door answered, "No, I'll cut it off," then shut the door, haha.


My sister's scarf.
Knitting three colors at once isn't as difficult as it looks, but it's aggravating.
It's twice that size now because I procrastinate on entries, but really.

The other day, talking to Moze on the phone, I drew on post-its.

(click on my to be bigger!)
Yup.
Loved it.
I had a lot of fun, surprisingly.

New guy at work.... Adore him.
We're nearly exactly alike. It's weird and cool.

♪: cruel black dove - love song

Dear Diary,

I had another nightmare last night. Why my mind decides to add anxiety and fright even in my sleep is beyond me. I think it's rather cruel.
My dream started out bad, so at least I didn't see it go badly and couldn't do a damn thing about it.
I was in this house, I had just woken up from a long sleep. There was this guy, a kid and some other girl. I woke up and looked at everyone and asked, "What's going on?"
The guy answered, "The alien, if we stop moving, he kills us." He flashed his eyes to the window.
I got up, and looked at the desolate city and wondered how many he had killed or was everyone hiding. "If we stop moving?"
The girl answered me, "If we go out there and we don't continuously move, he'll kill us."
"How did I sleep?"
The explained he couldn't see through windows or houses. If we were inside, we were safe.
The next thing I remember is having to escape the house because the guy ran to find that kid. And, I keep hiding behind cars, trying to keep one body part of mine to keep moving because I couldn't stand that the next breath I could take would be my last. I duck behind cars, run into houses to rest.
Suddenly, I find the guy and he pushes me into a car and we drive off just in time to see a man come out into the middle of the street with people running and start shooting a machine gun while spinning in a circle.
I scream, "FASTER."
Next thing I remember is the car and the guy are gone. I'm behind a car and see three people talking around a table. I duck behind a small thing, whatever, and listen to how they're going to kill everyone.
I'm thinking the pressure is getting to them, must be so.
They see me and some stranger spying on them. They're running after me and I keep skidding to a halt, going through houses, wondering why there are so many people out when I wake up, not wanting to feel like that anymore, haha.

Yesterday night, after working 11 hours, AGAIN, I went to Sean's.
'Game Night.'
They were playing Apples to Apples when I got there.
I'm actually playing the game correctly, putting down something funny and giving points why my card would be the best.
I lost, because everyone actually went with the definition.
What losers.
Not playing that game again with those people, haha.
Btw, I was the only one doing what I did.
Sad, really.
Then I went home, went to sleep and had that nightmare :(

♪: the little mermaid - part of your world

It's been productive.
I have finished one and a half projects.
One is Pedro's hat!!

(i failed so hard. it's okay to laugh, i am)

MUAHAHAHA.
He adored it.
but he didn't want to seem too excited I had it finished:
(texts)
Me - What're you doing tomorrow around 9pm?
Pedro - No idea, y?
Me - your hat is finished. i'm weaving in the ends right now.
Pedro - Awesome.
Me - That's it? That's all you have to say?
Pedro - You're the coolest person ever.
Me - If you don't wear this ten-dollar hat, I will Indian give!
Pedro - I will wear it everyday for the rest of my lifee.
Me - Haaaaaaaa. Smartass.
Pedro - Even in death.
Me - You're awful.

I waited ten minutes in the cold for him so he could get it. He pulled up and it was him and a girl in the car. Hahaha. I wanted to make sex jokes, but I figured it would make me sound like I'm a stalker friend.
hahaha.

In other news....

HE'S SO SWEET, HE MAKES MY TEETH ACHE.

♪: dir en grey - 激しさと、この胸の中で絡み付いた灼熱の闇

I broke my sock, the purple and pink one, haha. Now I have to reknit another one :(
OWELL.

Today has been a full day.
As I was driving down the road, I had a feeling to look over and there's this lady motioning me to roll down my window. I smile, turn down my music and roll down my window. She then yells, "I'm lost, do you know where i65 is?"
Keep in mind, we're driving down the road, talking to each other through windows.
"i65, north or south?"
"South. I'm from Chicago."
I laugh, "You're far from i65."
"Do you know i65 south?"
"Yes, just follow me."
So, we drove a little ways and I turned around at the Wal*Mart and allowed this woman to follow me to go allll the way to the interstate. We weren't even there when we were stopped at a stoplight. I was on my phone, relaying the funny story to my mother when I notice this woman is at my window. My mouth involuntarily opened and my eyes flickered to the rearview mirror where her car door is open. I'm in shock.
The woman smiles at me and says, "Does this lead me to the interstate?"
"No, I'm going to take you allll the way there because there's two lanes."
"Oh, what do you owe you?"
"Nothing, really."
"Oh my, thank you, god bless and Merry Christmas."
So, she follows me some more to the interstate. I pull aside to this roadside liquor store to watch her as she merges on, just to make sure. However, she follows me and parks beside me.
This is the cutest part:
I see she has a five dollar bill and I shake my head, smiling, getting out my car.
"No, really, I don't want anything. It's fine." I put my hand up. Then I notice something.
"No, please, I really appreciate it." She was crying. I felt really bad.
"No, seriously, I don't want it; I was happy to do it."
"Please, just please. You don't know how hard it's been for me."
I took it because her voice is shaky and I think she was about to burst into serious tears and cry on my shoulder. Instead, after I take it, she hugged me. She hugged me tightly and when she loosened she said, "Your mother, oh," she kissed my cheek. "Your parents raised you really well, I can tell."
We then discussed her life. She knits. She gave me her email. She blessed me. She's moving to Florida. She wants me in school. She thinks it's just right that I want to study Japanese and French. She speaks Spanish, Greek and German. She was a chemical engineer before she married and she warned me about men. And she wouldn't take the money back no matter how many times I tried.
We both agreed that men are stupid and just because you knit they think there's nothing there.
That woman was something and I adored her Northern accent.
I am going to e-mail her, haha.

♪: nirvana - polly

Last night I had a nightmare.
There were snakes in the house. We had this funky boa constrictor who I caught and released without a problem. The releasing part is tricky. You hold them by their heads, trying desperately trying not to get bit and you have to throw them out the backdoor.
After finally ridding of the boa, I caught another one. This time the one I had caught was poisonous. It had red, black and red little squares all over it's body. Despite its head being trapped in my pincher fingers, it would wedge itself loose and circle its head around, attempting to bite me.
I felt the anxiety of it trying to bite me. I continued to think I would die, I would die.
Getting very scared and just wanting it out my house so I could rest, I threw it out my backdoor and as I did, its head hit my finger and it bit me.
I screamed, "The fucker bit me, oh god, it bit me."
I ran to my parents who, my mother asked to see and my dad rolled his eyes, from the bed, saying, "I told you to swing it out with the tail."
My mother yelled something, I couldn't hear her over my sobbing. I started to feel light-headed. I felt nauseous and I really needed to go to the hospital.
I squinted my eyes at him, heart racing and my face red and wet. "I can't believe the fucker bit me."
I looked down at my finger, "Yeah, right here, he bit me right here."
There were fang bites and I remember thinking, 'I need to go to the hospital.'
My mom yelled at me, "Heather, I'm not going to tell you again, get the first aid kit!"
She pointed to the door.
I woke up to Princess meowing and staring at me. And a full bladder.