Psychokinesis

Me - Why not have something like Agatha Christie?
Todd - Is that your roommate?
Me - Ha, I said AGATHA CHRISTIE.
Todd - Oh! I thought you said "I have a friend name Christie."
Me - Ew, I would never have a friend named Christie."
Todd - *stops scanning and looks at me* That's the dumbest remark I've ever heard.
Me - What? Is she going to spell it with an 'ie'?
Todd - Really?
Me - That's the same reason I don't have any friends named Brittany.
Todd - Probably the same reasons they don't have friends named Heather.

It's been a rough few days.
I had to go to campus and find my classes. I was sweating like I had my own personal rain cloud above my head, trying to shower me off. Embarrassing. I just sweat, despite all the water I drink and the less salty foods I try. I think it's in my genetics since my father sweats easily too. I could be at a comfortable state and someone turns up the temperature by one degree and then I start sweating. It's awful -- just like my blushing.

Now my blushing is something that I sometimes can't control. I sometimes talk about sex and have that unflattering shade of red creep up my cheeks. I don't even know until someone points it out. This is on record: More than half the time I don't know I'm blushing.
Oh yeah.

Anyway, my calves became so sore that I couldn't run for the past two days and work was so painful to bend over and get those shoes. I was grimacing with each lunge.

You know what's sadder than the above statement about my calves?
I needed my phone to send my email pictures of Todd's b-day gift (below) and it was a stretch of an arm away on the coffee table. I was seriously regretting human evolution and it not having me to have psychokinesis.
If humans were to have psychokinesis then wouldn't we be like the "future-humans" off Wall-e?
I would stand in one spot to finish all of my work, to finish everything.
Huamns would eventually just be immobile and our conscious the only viable thing in existence.
One conscious would try to harvest the others for more power, the energy to have more power, and then we'd have a war and all die because no one can run away.

DUN DUN DUNNNN... TODD'S B-DAY GIFT TO MEEEEE.
(That was all meant to me in a sing-song voice.)

How thoughtful was that?
I told Jaccob that when Todd gave it to me that I was going to act like I hated it... You know, until he cried, and then just say, "I was fucking with you." And then put my camera away.
But I liked it too much.
The pigs were thoughtful and then the fucking Japanese dice. Oh yeah, I'm popping those bitches out in Japanese 101. Getting all the haters on me.

So I was lying beside my mother in bed yesterday and I went to text someone. I turn it on and my mother asked, "Wait, what was that?"
"What? The picture of Princess cleaning himself?"
I showed her and we both awed at the picture.
My father shook his head and then turned back to his computer.
This is the picture:

Uh, yeah. I couldn't think of something clever to say about my room.
BUT, last night I let Princess sleep with me despite his nagging in the middle of the night to have me awake.  He did really well until 5AM. That exact time too, because I checked.
He kept meowing and headbutting me.
Soon I put a pillow over my head to block out the noise and his big head nudging me.
Yet, in my half-awake state he brings his head into my air hole and smells me for some reason. I let it go and go back to sleep. Next thing I know, his paw is on my face, lightly padding me to get up.
SO FUCKING ADORABLE.

Todd is 37, I am 23.
Todd - *walks by and sees American Gods on my table* That was a good book when I read it fifteen years ago.
Me - You know, fifteen years ago, I was eight.