Pocket Porn

So, Todd, Jaccob, and I were all talking about porn or something. He then brought up this porn star named Megan Foxx (see, extra x, for xxxxtra raunchy-ness). So, I challenged him to look her up for me on his little laptop. Which he did. And this, my little audience, is where this conversation ensues about porn sites where we all prefer our porn:
Jaccob - Don't you have porn sites you go to?
Me - Uh, yeah. Just not their direct websites. I go to xvideos, pornhub, youporn, etc... Oh, I used to love Megaporn before they put it on timed video.
Todd and Jake - *weird ass looks*
Me - Yeah, you only had thirty minutes intervals....
Jaccob - How's that a problem?
Me - Well, because....
Todd and Jaccob - *laughing hysterically*
And then I got it. Guys don't need long apparently. Moving yet informational. They don't like buildup apparently. Thank you, Jaccob, for making it all clear for me, and how it takes him.

I was at Todd's yesterday night, the other night, some night, there we go.
I asked Malachai how his school day went. He replied, "Talking in the hallway."
I went silent, mostly because I don't know how I was supposed to translate that.
Todd walked by and said, "Son, when someone asks you that, you don't have to reply what you got in trouble for..."

Then we were all playing the card game Poo. Its theme is monkeys tossing around their feces (How is that really so different than the other times they're hanging out with each other? It's not.), so, yeah. Anyway.
Todd asked who would want to go first. I voted for the oldest guy to go first out of me, Jaccob, and Malachai. The boy then directly said, "And then you're the second oldest!"
Jaccob yelled, "OOOOOOHHHHHH!"
What impresses me is that Malachai knew my age.

The same night Alura, Todd's wife, decided to buy a scooter. I am insanely jealous. He did let us ride it. Well, let me correct myself. He was going to let us take turns riding it, but I chickened the fuck out and decided to watch Jaccob. Then Todd peer pressured me to ride on the back as he drove it.
Please don't judge me when I say I chickened out.
I've backed up into both of my father's trucks - I don't have a clean record.
However, I loved it. The body is so exposed to the elements and the ignorant while riding/driving the scooter. Such a thrill (you decide if I was sarcastic or not).
On a side note, Todd sucked at curves.

Me: I don't do sleep overs. I suck at them. Every single one is a horrible experience.

Todd: You might want to rethink that second sentence. "I suck at them."

Me: You're funny.

Todd: I kill me.

Me: Not fast enough apparently.

Todd: I want to watch me suffer.

On another side note, it's the left side and the left side is outta here.