NOOOO

(I wrote this entry yesterday and simply saved it as a draft. Anything in parentheses is my afterthought of 24-hours.)

My head still has a little ache to it. Fuck life. Fuck the universe. Fuck the big bang. (Actually, it's still here, gladly chiming in to my moods.)

That's the beginning to Fallon's purse that she asked me to knit. It's going well, Fallon (working on it now). The pattern is easy to follow and the yarn is cool to see as it works upward. I like the bluuuuue. I can't wait until this side is finished and then we can see the entire pattern. I like making the bobbles -- haha, they kill me. (I just finished looking at the bobbles again... Still killing me.)

Fallon and I bought her yarn. I bought a book of sweater patterns. Then we bought fabric for her renaissance dress and the lining of said purse.

BUT, she finished her first ever scarf today and it was awesome. I am so proud. So proud in fact that I am going to use this emote: ;_____________;
I always loved that one in my younger days.

(She finally sent me a picture.)

Man, I've paid off so much shit. Now I feel broke, although I'm not really.
- Paid up my car insurance for the next six months ($450)
- Paid my registration ($42)
So, I exaggerated the amount of things I had to pay, but so what?
(Still, so what?)

Todd scared the shit out of me today. I was putting shoes on an end-cap and I see movement. Right when I see it, I hear, "BOO!" And see his crouching figure in the corner of my eye.
My reaction?
"OH. MY. GOD. TODD!"
He walked away laughing.

Shit, I'm tired. I'm going to go finish Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and then sleep.
Sweet, sweet sleep.
(Yeah, I didn't finish it last night - just now actually. I went to bed, then a storm, then my dog, then my cat, then my bladder, then back to sleep, then work.)

Ohh, My Head

Last night, Scotty, Amanda, and I watched The Dark Knight Rises. It was really good. The first one is still better. Simply because I think that they showed more of The Joker's new mayhem, instead of having a montage of a speech. It's all understandable, but there wasn't much shown. They took easy write-ups for things they didn't, and reasonably, wanted to explain.

I love Bane. Not as much as The Joker, but Bane was amazing. He was so big and forbidden. His accent was perfection. Ha, leave it to a girl to romanticize anything.

I don't want to say much more in fear that I might give away some plot points for my other readers.

The movie did give me a hell of a headache -- one that has lasted for over 24-hours now, even with medication. It was just so fucking loud.

IN  OTHER NEWS...
Today I've noticed that people no longer smile with my off-moments.
I went to get my oil changed and we all know how they check your lights. I forgot to turn off mine and at the end of it, he said, "You can turn off your lights now."
I laughed and he look very unamused.

Then.
At Subway, I mistook turkey for chicken. I worked at a deli, so I just assumed they had sliced chicken. The guy asked, "Which chicken?"
I pointed at the turkey and he asked, "So, you mean the turkey?"
I laughed but he gave the same look as the auto-mechanic.

This was their face:  :|

I'm watching Pride & Prejudice now.
They're at the ball.
Ack, love it.
Mr Darcy steals my little heart that is three sizes too small.

That makes me wish it was snowing.
I miss throwing snowballs at my sister who says at the doorway, "Now, Heather, don't you dare hit me with a snowball!"
Every damn winter too.

I'm going to end this now while I am hopelessly and incandescently in love.

Jane Austen

If only she knew they had a festival in her name.

So, today was the big day and I really enjoyed myself. The tea party was fucking fantastic. I mean, it was amazing, awesome, spectacular, awe-inspiring, or simply wonderful.

Ack, it was so adorable! The tea menu nearly broke the charcoal that is my heart. We got a corner table to overlook the tea -- that was awesome. We went to a historic house and had information thrown at us. Then we went to see horses (which I hadn't been close to a horse since I was a toddler). Then we got to see the hottest guy working for them do the "Dressing Mr. Darcy" and star in "A Gentleman's Duel" (sadly, it's with guns, not swords).

I bought nothing which is strange for me, but there was nothing I really wanted. If I sewed, it would have been the shit there. The. Shit.

And we severely parched ourselves in the summer heat so we went to concessions WHICH cheat you. They had apples for 2/1. I grabbed one. The woman told me she couldn't give change. I said I had 50 cents. She then stupefied herself and Fallon ended up giving her a dollar. So, I had two fucking apples. Why in the hell? It made me angry that they forced shit on you. AND, I asked whether or not the apples were washed and every worker turned and gave me a look. THAT IS A FUCKING VALID QUESTION. Snotty kids and their snotty parents man-handled the fruit. So, I wasted some of my water on my TWO DAMN APPLES. I got full and not pleasantly so.

So, the three of us had a bonding moment:
Louisville is swamped with their mundane decision of paving every fucking ramp in the city leading southbound. Took the three of us TWO HOURS. TWO. HOURS. TWO. TWO. HOURS. to find a way out. We were all getting so stressed because Becky's GPS was being a little bitch. So, I had to use mine to find Watterson Express. By the way, going there from where we were led us through Louisville's Red Light District. So happy it was a Sunday and the sun was up.
Wasn't funny then, but it's getting to be funnier with time.

They also said I was very polite.
Best compliment ever - wasn't being sarcastic when I said it then too.

But, sisters, thank you for allowing me to come.

Saturday night was game night.
It was an okay game.
One more to go and then I can geek on the ending. That's right, spoilers for everyone who doesn't give a shit.
Scotty and I went to buy a large stick of cookie dough for the guys. We betted three penis jokes. Jake and Todd only rolled in two. Disappointed.
Uhhhh, funny shit went down but hell if I can recall it now. Oh, the microwave!
Me - Does the microwave give a loud ding?
Scotty - Wouldn't it be cool if the microwave dinged and then said, *he lowered his voice to a growl*, "I'm done."
All of us - *turn to Scotty with a 'wtf' face on*
Todd - *laughs* Or has some special feature that when it's 3AM, it says *growling out* "It's three AM."

I arrived home around 1:16AM saturday night. Had to wake up at 6AM for this trip. Didn't really get to sleep until close to three. So, I did all this on close to three hours of sleep (my mother woke me up at 5:50AM, worried I'd be late) and still kept my shit together. HA, FATE, FUCK YOU. Sadly, though, I am feeling the nausea of being tired.

Alan texted me today:
Alan - You ever seen the clown at Walmart that hides from gay people?
Me - No?
Alan - Exactly :p
Bam.

And, I wiggle my nose and *poof.*

The Spider Pendulum

 That's right, I finished Scotty's Megaman hat. I don't much like it. I don't like the base hate, the aviator hat from the pattern. That's just me. I feel like I should've knitted the damn thing on needles two sizes smaller than it called for. If anyone finds this before the pattern, heed my advice. But it does looked like the helmet and it cracks me up. I mean, look at it. I never even thought of Megaman again, not until he mentioned him. Anyway, it's finished and so am I. Bah.
(In the second picture I was honestly thinking, "I wonder what I'll listen to while making the blog entry?" It's RADWIMPS, btw.)

The storm that reeked havoc on my sleep happened last night. It literally looked like the horizon was on fire and I snapped a couple of pictures. I'm glad it stormed, but my dog is like a child and has to sleep in the same room. So, I did. Then my cat gets so excited he can sleep with me. He likes to meow and headbutt me like, "OMGS WE GETS TO SLEEPS TOGETHUR!" Then he gets in some awkward position that pushes me to the edge of my bed.

At work, I was walking down some small hallway and then all of the sudden this spider dropped from the ceiling right in front of my chest. I cried out, "OOH!" And then I tried to back away, but the bastard began (I do not jest) to SWING toward me. He was gaining momentum and I kept crying out while backing up, nearly tripping over my feet.

Yes, the thought of smashing this wee little spider occurred to me, but I couldn't bring myself to do it.

Then, it finally stopped and I carefully walked around it and Dean looked up at me with a curious look.

"Was that you crying out?" (His literal question.)

I started to laugh, realizing how fucking ridiculous I was. "Yes, yes it was."

"Well, did you kill it?"

I shook my head, laughing. "No, it just began swinging at me!"

He gave a chuckle or two and then walked down the hallway to kill it for me as I was saying, "It was literally trying to swing toward me!"

Makes me laugh just thinking about it.

Welp, that's all I have.
Fuck you guys lata.

Kyle's Hat from South Park

So, this is the Kyle hat, ushanka, that I knitted my sister from South Park. Took me several days to finish this, believe it or not. I am proud, but I also feel bad because it wasn't exactly like Kyle's off South Park to begin with. Hey, what can you do without a pattern? I actually went to my local yarn shop and asked what they would do and we looked through hat patterns and found one that had the body shape. I changed it around a bit and then folded over the band, waiting to rip it out, but my sister loved it there, so that's why the band stays.

The earflaps were fucking hell to knit. I actually ripped them out like four times to measure and fix. Sadly, they look off. I don't know why. They measure the same and are the same width. Maybe it's our faces, or the big dark green piece in the middle. Funny how it all equals together, right? I know it's the perfect green, and the darker green is almost perfect, I know. I enjoyed knitting most of it, aside from the detailing... Which is everything I just described. I hope it does please the actual fandom, and my sister. She loves it. keeps thanking me for it (it's her Christmas present).

The guys and I played Left 4 Dead 2 last night. What I mean by guys is Scotty, Alan, me, and some friend of Scotty's that he referred to as "Boo." Scotty has so many buddies on the xbox and they keep joining his parties. When I'm getting fucking murdered by a zombie I'll hear strange voices and Scotty just rambling on to them. It was funny. Made a girl friend. Well, she plays L4D2 also.

They kept backtracking to help save me, which their patience was astounding. Man. We were nearing to a safe point and all of us were tackled by a "special infected." Everyone aside from Scotty. He was hobbling. He tried to save me, but he realized where he was and I said, "Leave me!"

He ran to the safe house, just closing the door on the tank infected. It was special to watch.

Another part was when "Boo," Alan, and Scotty were all at the safe house (I was long dead). Alan and Scotty were at the doorway, trying to usher their severely injured friend along. There was a special or something coming and as their friend was hobbling, he asked, "Should I just be dead for this?"

Without answering, Scotty slid into the doorway and shot him down.

EDIT:

Just remembered this last night.

"Boo' revived me and all I could see was black, no matter which direction I faced. I was freaking out, thinking I couldn't stand up, a glitch or something. I was saying, "Guys, I can't see anything."

Then I move my stick up and realized I was just looking down.

Hahaha.

Perhaps it's boring without all of you being there. ONLINE DIARY ARGUMENT HERE.

Sunday went to teach them knitting. Becky wants to get ahead of herself, but, ha, won't let her. I actually have her first square and am very excited to share:

Isn't it awesome? She learned CO, K, P, KxP, K2xP2 with this. 

I bought a pass to the Jane Austen Festival this Sunday. Going with all of them. Excited. I told Marina and asked her, "How much whiter can we get, right?"

She just said you couldn't.

YAWWWWN

So, we were all having dinner and Amanda turned to me and asked, "So, Heather, have you seen those pictures of the underwater fish?"
I give my smile, "You mean fish live underwater?"
She then goes on a rant about how some fish are mammals. I stopped listening.

Just finished playing the campaign mode in Left 4 Dead 2. That game is clever. Can't say much because I'm not an avid video game player, really, would rather do other things with my time, but I liked it.
My sister and I played split screen. A lot of fun.
Especially when I took the tongue monster out with one shot, over a fucking distance. It grabbed my sister's waist. I aimed in its general direction and shot.
I rule.
I'm happy about something that all of you have probably already done.
-HIGH FUCKING FIVE-

I did finish my book over the summer. Well, sort of. I wrote 67,299 words which equaled out to 174 pages. Now, the beginning 3 to 4 chapters sucked. No mercy there with the two girls who read it (my sister and Fallon), but they did. I'm rewriting them and hoping to add at least 20,000 more words. A whole lot of action has to happen. I don't want to give out too much information about the book, but it basically details how awesome I am.
Word count of some long stories of mine:
A Macabre Story - 85,251 (I loved this story simply because I made so many different characters and they all collaborated with each other.)
DEG VS LTFAW - 87,132 (My masterpiece in fanfiction. Too bad no one will ever read it.)
Phase 7 - 45,303 (I miss Kurushimu. I loved that character.)
Seven Relics - 67,299 (The story I was just talking about it IN CASE you couldn't make simple connections.)

I'm going to go read.
I'm reading another Dohner book. God have mercy on my soul.

What A Fun Night

May - Daddy, you're not buckled! You're not buckled!
Me - *turning to the kid* Well, see, May, your dad is an anarchist.

There are more conversations that I cannot remember ... Story of my life.

This is Zoey, Todd and Alura's cat. She's in my purse, just cuddled in there. I thought it was adorable, but no one is really allowed to show affection on her.

Game was good last night. I got some speaking parts - which I think I talked too much for my character, but whatever. I'm thinking of a master plan to thwart all the other characters. I'm purposely a bitch and I love it. Of course, I still cooperate, Todd, I do. You know I do. The game is taking on a sci-fi turn and I'm loving it. There's some time vortex shit happening and I'm in love. I really want this a book - it'll be good.

FYI, Todd-ster, I have no idea where I'm going with Hex. Ha. I am winging it all the way.

TODAY, I went to Becky's house again where I proceeded to oversee them knitting. Becky is my star pupil (haha, Fallon). She's really took it on and just basically learns the technique and then masters it. Fallon IS DOING WELL TOO. Slow and steady wins the race, girl.

This is Fallon's first square in knitting. It was very good! I am so proud ;( Makes me happy I'm teaching. The yearning for friend knitters has been strong with this one. Ha. Ha. Ha. Wish Becky's kids didn't unravel hers so I could have two to show. I am so proud it hurts.

Sharoll, their Mother-in-law, taught me how to make a straight line on the sewing machine. Very excited. Makes me very, very happy. I want to line the insides of my purses and I want to sew quilts. Quilting excites me, believe it or not.

I accomplished that and am happy with my lines. I was once afraid, but now I see. I do hope she doesn't mind me tagging along in this sewing endeavor. I just really want to learn how to quilt. OH IF I WAS 70-YEARS-OLD.

Wow, I need to start carrying around a pad and paper for blog entry.
Journalist in training.

In other news....

Flash Mob

I am jealous of anyone who can play an instrument - yes, even their voice.

I want to learn the piano so badly.

Don't Ask Me

All the time I get a good, really fantastic, embarrassing moment from my friends and they immediately say, "I better not see this on your blog!"
So many good ones.
Some are dumb, but I am true to my word.
But I get to thinking about it and I'm just like, "If I don't have embarrassment, then what am I good for?"
So, Marina called me today. She hardly calls me. I thought she was dying, haha.
Anyway, she told me she bought her cousins pizza today and they had to go walk to have it. They did. So, later on, she told me to hold on. I figured they had pizza, or brought it to her. Whatev. Then I hear, "Hey, did you get it?"
I'm still cleaning the kitchen.
"Hey, are you back?"
She was speaking directly to the phone, I said, "Yeah."
"Did you get the pizza?"
I said nothing, realizing she was still talking to them.
"Tavia, do you have the pizza?"
I was still cleaning.
"Tavia, hey, Tavia. Tavia. Tavia." She was starting to sound really aggravated.
"Marina, are they supposed to be on the phone?"
She starts laughing, "I was like, 'Why isn't this girl answering me?'"
I was just laughing.
"Oh God, hahaha, man. Hold on, I'm going to call them."
I laugh in response.
"And, this better not be in your blog."
Sorry, friend, but I really wanted to remember this.

List of productive activities I accomplished today:
1. Cleaned the kitchen
2. Gave dog bath
3. Brushed said dog
4. Took a nap
5. Read some
6. Knitted some
7. Cleaned kitchen again
8. Cooked supper
9. Cleared off kitchen table
Now, #9 may seem stupid as shit, and it is, but my mother coupons. Since last year, my parents have been in the horrendous habit of cluttering our nice kitchen table with detergents, paper towels, dish soap, newspapers, coupons, briefcase, coupon bags, and lunch boxes. My sister and I hate it. Now, the difference between Amanda and me is the fact I am proactive. I cleaned off that fucking table today, meaning, I removed about 25 bottles of dish soap and made room for them on our giant shelves. I moved the trash bags she bought, the macaroni, the newspapers, the lunch boxes, and the ramen to odd points in the house. The table is now clear.

I don't know what it is about a clean kitchen table. I honestly don't. It's just like a blank piece of paper to me - anything can happen on it and it's always there in case something needs to happen, I guess. I just want it clean because I like to do my shit activities on it. Plus, when I cook myself breakfast in the morning, then I can just sit and eat and not have to scoot tons of shit out of the way.

So, Todd commented on my Summer Reading 2012 post and then, at work, we were having a debate on whether or not Ayn Rand was pretentious. Yes, Todd, she can be pretentious, if a person was to use to her as such. She's meant to take a leisure and have you think about what it means to have an "ego" in the literal meaning, the Freud meaning, and other things, but I don't want to seem pretentious. However, bunch of young know-it-alls like to ruin that, which is cool, I get like that too.
But, he went home and got some quotes, which I found quite funny:
(Just to make this clear, Todd wrote the response to the quote, not I. Ha.)

1. To say "I love you" one must first be able to say the "I."

You will also find you have to say "I" at the beginning of any sentence that uses the word "I" at the beginning of it.  Man, I was wrong.  This bitch is fucking great.  Woman is deep.  Of course to say a woman is deep one must first be able to say "woman."

Woah.  Wait.  No.  To say "I love you" one must first have a tongue and a fundamental understanding of English to say anything related to the concept of the "I" pronoun.  Guess she's not the smart after all.

Now, I watched this movie, Paper Man, yesterday and I loved it. I wouldn't watch it again, but I did it enjoy it to the point of writing this. Had some really good actors, recognizable faces I really should say. Very creative with the symbolism, the characters, and the movement of plot. A very smart movie with its use of relationships and connections throughout. It was put into a sort of comedy section of Netflix, well, movies related to Adventureland (which sucked, I couldn't make it all the way through without skipping scenes), and yeah. The imaginary friend was a great, great idea. Plus, Ryan Reynolds looks hilarious. Kind of wish I had the vivid imagination of this to picture a person with me. Don't we all... Well, except for John Nash, he lived to tell the tale.

FUCK IT ALL I AM GETTING PIMPLES AGAIN.

And what did I say when I start talking about my acne?

That's right...

Good-bye.

Prime Time

My sister was in the living room today, playing Skyrim. I was watching while I ate. Suddenly, Xbox popped up a message reading, "SmokamusPrime" sent you a message."
I asked, "So, Smoke-a-mus.... Prime?"
Amanda (roommate, Todd), shook her head, "I don't know who that is, honestly."
She opened the message while I was still reciting the username. The message read, "I'm comming all over your face baby."
The only thing I could say, after laughing, was that he used the wrong 'cumming.'
Mom was in the room, I was in the room. Poor naive sister trying hard to get me to stop laughing at her.

Okay, so, went to Fallon's sister's house, Becky.
Guess what I did.
That's right.
Taught them how to knit. Well, taught them the basics of knitting. All they learned today, really, was garter stitch. Becky actually got ahead to 2x2 ribbing. They were doing really well. I forgot to bring my first square ever knitted. So, yeah, Fallon, I will link it... here. So there is nothing to feel bad about. I've had to rip out dozens of projects before. I would get so angry that I would get light-headed, but it comes with the process. That's where I learned patience. I used to be some hot head, now look at me... Haha. I was going to make a joke here, but couldn't think of one good enough.

My cat just trampled into my room. I gave him a ball. Well, rolled it to him, but he ran away from it.

I can't wait until they get good enough and we can do a little knitting circle, like the one full of old bitches that come to Barnes and Noble. I'm working on an afghan started two years ago. I am just full of ... it.

Now to go write and read some more Charles Bukowski. Trying to stop with the erotica. I swear I don't know why I keep reading it. I wonder if they're interventions, support groups for this sort of thing. I mean, there has to be a moment in a meth head's life where they're like, "This is Hell, but I still want it." That's right, comparing my sober reading to people slowly killing themselves. These books aren't even good! Just like some of the buzzes you could get. Some of them are horrible and you're thinking in that paranoid state, "I'll never do this again! If I make it through this, I'll never do it again! Just let me make it through the night." And then it's there again, in your eyesight and it's hard to just ignore it. Maybe I'm thinking too much into it. Hell, I don't have to think while I'm reading it.
Oh God....
I'm turning books into television....