♪: stomach growling

Me - Are you ducks still here?
Cricket - We have three.
Me - Did one fly away?
Cricket - Dunno.
*silent moment*
Cricket - it's so cute though, in the morning, if the ducks are hungry, they'll come up to the porch because Tina puts the corn up here for the kids. The kids will actually throw the food at the ducks.
Me - Like chuck it?
Cricket - Yeah! Zakery is getting good!
Me - Zach and the stick and the duck. *laughs* best shit ever! I love that little guy - he's so funny.
Cricket - Oh, btw, Kaylee has made a new friend because she's learned that she can have imaginary friends. And, so she was sitting there playing in the kitchen and Crystal goes, "what's your friend's name?" And she didn't have one yet, so she was trying to make up one and she saw a can... So, she's like, "Cooooooke...." and the rest of it turned out ot be cane. So, she had an imaginary friend named cocaine!
...Crystal stopped it.

*moment of silence*
Cricket - *looks over* Dude, we have a statue of an Indian?
Me - *looks over* What, where? *finally notices it under a table, in a shadow - jumps* fuck dude! That's scary as shit!

Me - If old stoners think we're funny, I guess we're not buzzkills.
Cricket - *moment of silence* that was beautiful.

These aren't from last night (although I shared them with Cricket).
Me - *talking about the new guy at work with Heather* Have you seen his chest hair? It freaks me the fuck out! It makes me gag. Poofing out from his shirt.
Heather - *makes a face* Why would I look at his chest hair?
Me - I don't know. It's just there and now the only thing I can stare at.
*the next day*
Heather - One girl from produce is actually nice. We were at the trash compactor and she was just, ah, she was nice.
Me - You know that guy with the speech impedement? It only makes him cuter.
Heather - Josh?
Me - You know their names? He's the one always talking to that short blonde-hair girl.
Heather - Yeah and her name is (something I cannot remember).
Me - How do you know their names?
Heather - They have name tags.
Me - Yeah, but you actually look at them.
Heather - At least I don't look at their chest hair!

*My father recently bought my mom these coffee cups she had loved and they got them in. They were showing them to me*
Mom - I wish you'd stop buying me things, Jimmy!
Me - *turns to dad, and imitating mom's voice* Yeah, Jimmy, stop lavishing me with gifts!

ps - Remember MY skeleton Cricket stole for me?
Well, here's hers.

♪: dave matthews band - everyday

I think I did a pretty damn good job considering I haven't painted my own toe/finger nails since 8th grade.
Last time I tried my toenails... It got so pathetic Cricket had to finish. These started out pretty wacky, but took a dramatic turn for the better, I believe.

Cabin fever struck me four hours after I woke today. I immediately went to Crafty Hands and ended up blowing my money. Well, not blowing, but spending what money I basically had (all but 20 bucks).
My name is Heather and I'm a compulsive buyer.
I do it all the fucking time.
It annoysss meeeee.
I am actually TONS better than I was. Has anyone seen my full CD list?
I have over 112 CDs, not counting DVDS of concerts and extra shit. Not including, also, my foreign films (aka Asian Dramas). SO. I need to control. Self control.
And books, I have a bunch.

That's what I'm working on now! Two colors at one time, oh me oh my. I'm taking my skill level up a notch, biatch. I'm actually very happy with the colors. I wanted to move from purple, since I have a brown/purple scarf, but I wanted to try to knit a scarf with a border for another scarf I had in mind. SO. Besides, I wanted my own personal scarf.... Like the ones I knit for others.

Can't wait until it's finished, just like my second sock. AHHHHH.
So many projects.
Finish one, start three.
(That's a quote everyone on staff, +more, say at Crafty Hands, hahahahha.)

♪: puddle of mudd - she hates me

Cricket and I went to go see Paranormal Activity. What a load of crap. Scary my arse. It was like as if the producers behind A Haunting made a fucking movie. Less believable than its hardly explained plot line are the characters and how they couldn't act whatsoever. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO ACT, JUST BE YOURSELF with this type of film and they just couldn't even do that. Not even close. I merely recommend to see this movie in a crowded theater with kids half your age, because their jumps and screams would make it all worth it.
Besides.
You might even get to hear some high school kids that believe it's real and the guy trying to tell them, yes, it's fictional. And the girls are in denial.
Shoo, now that that's over with....


DUMPSTER. I know, the light ruins the picture. BUT. Behind that dumpster which is behind that theater is a new place on the list of places we have smoked. That's right.
As soon as we walked out of the movie, to the parking lot, a security cop was there. No, not for us, but in general. Which is weird.
Then we went to Wal*Mart and have ANOTHER place to add to the list. In Wal*Mart parking lot.
And I think only one carload of people saw because they drove directly by and looked directly at us by slowing down.

I NOW HAVE NAIL POLISH. Cricket has NAIL POLISH and we're all happy.
Not that color, but the picture is proof that I rarely ever, hardly ever, ever wear nail polish.

Ay caramba!

(it hangs over my bed :)!)

And I painted her toenails with my fingernail polish ;)
Then, we sneaked around in the Halloween aisle and stole a couple of skeletons. She did it, I was too paranoid. I was so paranoid and felt bad about stealing that I bought these five lunch sacks with a witch on them to take to work. Hahahahaha. No, rly.
We then got something to eat and saw four cops (rough estimate).
We then went to the park to eat and saw another cop.
So, five?
It was insane.

Me - Could we make it in the theater? I'm not as high as I was, but I'm still kind of.... Ugh, I'm so scared to go in.
Cricket - Why?
Me - dsfdsg...
Cricket - Hey, you're not as high looking as you were with that picture with the unborn, remember? And we didn't even have eye drops. They didn't say shit.
Me - *laughs hard* Yeah man, I just don't want anyone else to know sitting around us.
Cricket - Oh, they're going to know.
Me - Ack, I just don't like people knowing that high that I didn't get high with. It freaks me the fuck out, really.
Cricket - Why? Maybe we can meet someone to invite back there to get high with us?
Me - *laughs, remembering the Unborn incident* hahahaaha, we were the geeky, red-eyed geeks walking up in Great Escape Theater. And you got behind a thing to make faces. *notices Crickets eyes flickering to the side.* What're you looking at? Oh, my reflection?
Cricket - *smiles and nods*
Me - It's the same thing you know. It's not going to do anything differently.
Cricket - That would be freaky as shit. I would demand you to take me to the hospital.
Me - Who would need the hospitalization - me or you?
Cricket - Hm, you have a point.
Me - OH HO HO HO HO! I do have a point.

*Walmart parking lot*
*waiting for car to pass*
Me - *goes to take a hit, but it drops and cannot find it* Where's the roach?
Cricket - *shrugs* I dunno.
Me - *harsh sigh* Fine. *looks on her lap, everything. Then I decide to get out of the car. As soon as I open the car door,* MONEY! *starts picking up some change*
Cricket - Found it!
Me - Yes! *gets the roach, puts it in my fist and a car is driving by really slowly and I look away to put the change into the little hole for change. As the car drives away I turn to Cricket*
Cricket - Hm, kind of odd.
Me - Did they look straight into the car?
Cricket - Hahahaha, yes they did.
I have made 22 cents, fyi.

The List (revisited!) - New locations added in italics.
Western Kentucky University
Keriaskes (I murdered that spelling) Park
Covington (gazebo, parking lot, swings, and gazebo on golf course)
The Square
Sears parking lot
The park by the free clinic (parking area and picnic area)
Abandoned train caboose
WHILE driving on the square
In front of the small library
Campbell Lane
The bridge on the bypass
Great Escape 12 (dumpster)
Wal*Mart (Veterans) parking lot

ps - Cricket loves her scarf ;)

♪: good charlotte - My Bloody Valentine

Oh boy, do I have some stories for you today.
Let's start off with the night before last.
When I came home from shopping for the parents (Emily night), my sister revealed to me that she had went to a field trip and then stopped in BG for somewhere to eat... They stopped at a little strip, with different stores and restaurants. Welllllll.
The kids had stolen over 150 bucks of merchandise from THE DOLLAR STORE. I'm guessing the majority of the 150 dollah were those air horns. Nearly every kid of the junior class had one. When they were in the bus, they would blow them at cars and caused nearly one man to have a wreck. They were on the interstate, so imagine his wreck, pretty damn serious.
A pet store had to close its doors and close, not allowing anyone back in because some kid tried to strangle a cat.
Customers, from other stores, complained that the kids were throwing things at them, the kids were silly stringed each other and continued to steal things. Those stores made an announcement for all WEHS to leave.
It's going to be funnier, later on in life... Well, except for the cat strangler kid.

YESTERDAY, some kid got her head stuck in one of those M&M life-size doll things. There are smaller holes on the sides and a big one in the back. It was hilarious.
I so wanted to take a picture, but I couldn't.

Kicked it with Sean after work.
Me - *brought in donuts that I stole from work*
Sean - Ooh, I want this one.
Me - I want this one.
Sean - This one tastes like raspberry type deal.
Me - Really?
Sean - Yeah, take a bite.
Me - *eyes open* Ew no!
Sean - Oh yeah, I forgot you didn't eat after people.
Me - Hahahahaha, I'm sorry for my reaction.
Sean - it's okay.
Me - I do drink after people, sometimes.
Sean - Well, at least that's something.
Me - Look at you, acting like it's a disability or something that I can't eat after people.
Sean - *laughs, hard* I'm sorry, I didn't mean...
Me - Haha, 'Well, at least she drinks a person's spit....'

*As we were walking to my car, Sean pointed out muddy tire tracks a little ways from the parking lot... He explained...*
Sean - Yeah, my dad, instead of pushing the brake, hit the gas and we totally sped straight into the mud. You can see where we spun and where we tried to push... Then, we both tried, but failed. So, we called a tow man. My dad lied, to seem like he wasn't stupid, 'Yeah, I tried to miss this cat.' and the tow man replied, 'What! You should've just ran over the damn thing - it was a stray!' And I am like, 'What? How do you know what kind it was!'

Sean and Quinton. Wow. Of course I've never been in a gay couple's apartment - it's just not something I frequent very often. But their apartment - wow. EVERYTHING MATCHES... They even have accent colors, couch covers, etc... They have a little cupboard they're hanging in their bathroom, etc... EVEN THEIR BED SHEETS ARE LIME GREEN WITH A BLACK HEADBOARD!
I love it. Their apartment is dahling.
Oh, and even their dishes match everything.

I was just idle in a Wal*Mart parking lot when this car, three spaces away from me parked. Haha. They were blasting old, classic rock. They were lip singing to Guns-n-Roses 'Welcome to the Jungle' while just waiting on their friend.

TODAY.
At Barnes and Noble I snuck behind a sign, because I was looking at a book, and just barely peeked my head over to the side, waiting for the cashier. After about 30 seconds or so, he glimpsed over and went, "Oh my!" He held a hand to his chest. "I'm so sorry. Hahahaha."
"No, it's fine, haha, I thought you were doing something, so I'd wait."
"No, no, nothing important. It's just... your camouflage overwhelmed me."
Hahahahahahahaahha.
OH, I bought American Psycho. FINALLY.
I'm SUPPOSED to be reading, 'Tale of the Body Thief' by Anne Rice, but, so far, I dislike it.

ps - my dreams last night were fucking insane. I cannot begin to describe what I felt to relive my funky dream world. Honestly. Lately my dreams have been SHIT.
Last night's dreams were about robots/alines/humans all co-existing. Robots were huge, over twenty-stories high. Usually the aliens would go undercover as a robot to infiltrate. Humans would go as Aliens. And both robot and alien would pretend to be human so they could use every weakness against us and kill us all. My problem was that I was human and I fell in love with a 200-year-old robot undercover as a very pretty human.
And, although love united us together, we ran away and was always sought out after and hunted.
Ah, love.
We faked her death so we could be together. At a council meeting of the robots. She was to speak about what she found out. I snuck in, inside a robot.
That doesn't make sense, haha.

pss - http://www.cracked.com/blog/using-windows-7-may-lead-to-murder/
TO DATE THE FUNNIEST CRACKED ARTICLE EVER.
So clever.
I'm jealous of how clever that article was.

♪: cherry filter - 내게로 와

Isn't that a face you can love?

Yesterday was productive, depending on which perspective. Bought two tank tops, kicked it with Emily for a bit and headed over to her friend's, Shannon's, to pick something up. Haha. They were having a party and everyone, except Shannon's boyfriend, were very, very drunk/high. Well, maybe Shannon's boyfriend can hold it in better?
After which, we went to SG and smoked in the train. I love that train.
And just to let everyone know, I'm the type of person to wait until everyone is sober enough to drive - it's just wrong. I hate people driving if they're not 90% sober.
RIGHT AFTER THE TRAIN, right after we just smoked, we didn't even hang for a bit (Right after I had laid my head on the bar and said, 'I am sooo high, omg.'). They just left and I was left to DRIVE into town and go to Wal*Mart (I HATE IT THEREEEE) and Kroger.
I got a blizzard from DQ though, and it was godly.
At Wal*Mart though, I smarted off to an employee because she had to get my ID because of some movie (Observe and Report - SETH ROGEN ♥). Didn't mean to, didn't realize it until her old eyes popped and explained, "It asks, I have to."
Hahahahahaha.
Like people care, really.
I usually never smart off to employees because it's useless, IT IS their JOB, you know.
Then went to Kroger and spotted that northern girl doing what I usually do - her job because everyone makes me do their shit, haha. It made me happy.
AND HOME.
Funnnnnnnn.
Just so everyone knows, I HATE getting high with Emily's bf. He's so gross and annoying - I can't stand it. Seriously. He gets on my fucking nerves.
Ahhhh, now I want a boyfriend.

Emily - Jonny, go in and buy some papers.
Me - *getting money* What're you getting? Tops....
Jonny - Okay and I don't know.
Me - *hands two dollars over* and if they're over two bucks, fuck 'em.
Jonny - *smiles* yeah.
Me - Okay then.
Jonny - *spreads the money apart and starts to fold it*
Me - What the - Are you counting the money?
Jonny - Why would I count it? It's fucking two dollars! *gets out of the car*
Me - *turns to Emily* that's why I was surprised.

ps - I had a dream last night that I was pregnant. I'm not disclosing who the father was, but it's disgusting. Even in the dream, I could see me getting bigger and bigger. I was hella cute pregnant.
Different, right?

♪: dir en grey - 蛍火

Three weeks ago I had bought American Psycho off half.com. THREE WEEKS LATER I had received it and as I flipped through it a HORRIBLE realization rushed through me: It's in fucking Spanish.
I was pissed.
I have waited a year (since the first time I had watched the movie) to read that damn book and it seems destiny has other plans, literally. So, I texted good o' Pedro and he's going to take the monster off my hands, but really.
IN SPANISH.
As soon as I realized, I was practically yelling, "GODDAMMIT! THREE FUCKING WEEKS FOR IT TO BE IN FUCKING SPANISH? WHO IN THE HELL WOULD READ IT? FUCKIN' BITCH, WHY ME. WHY SPANISH OF ALL THE FUCKING LANGUAGES?! I AM SO GODDAMNED PISSED, FUCK."
I was outside, gathering all my mess from my car to go inside.
I am still aggravated.
Just so you know, just so everyone knows, it wasn't in the description. It was in a little space to the side, when you're looking at all the other books and comparing prices. NOT ONLY THAT, but the description of the quality of the book was in English. Everyone just ASSUMES, you know? If you're selling something in Spanish, write the goddamn description in Spanish.
BAH.
Haha.
Assume makes and ASS out of U and ME.

Me - Would you like a great opportunity to read a valuable novel in American literature?
Pedro - I'm not following.
Haaaaaaaaaaaaa.

♪: ac/dc - hell's bells

THE DEVIL SCARF IS FINISHED. And, for cataloguing, this scarf's name, and forever, will be DEVIL SCARF. I believe it's six-feet in length, but it hasn't been proven... Only by sizing it up to me do I believe it. It's long enough to wrap once around my neck and be tied off right at the start of my cleavage. I love this scarf. Once I finished it, I had this swelling of happiness in my chest, of pride and conquer. I am DEATHLY proud of it.
Too bad it's not for me. Once I save up the money I owe Cricket, still buy her my Christmas present I wanted to buy her last year but didn't have the money to, I'll be caught up.
So, I have to give her this scarf, 100 bucks and that present.
(Did you think I forgot about you, Cricket?)
Isn't life swell?
HOWEVER, I think, once I'm rested from this aggravation that Devil Scarf has made for me, I'm making me one. Cannot wait. But I DO NOT have the energy to knit another right now.



I went to see Zombieland on Saturday with Amanda. It was killer. Muahaa!
It wasn't AS FUNNY as I thought it to be, but it was mildly entertaining and DEFINITELY meant for stoners. It mentioned weed like three times and showed them smoking it out of those three, so, yeah. It's catering to the stoners.
VIVA STONARCHY.
Right?


Snapping random pictures.
Yes, I was sober.

ps - Anyone watching Bored to Death yet?

♪: plastic tree - うつせみ

BITCHES, IT'S FINISHED.
An it. Just one.


I was so happy at Crafty Hands. It felt like a weight had been lifted. The sock was supposed to reach the start of the calf, but I don't like those kinds of socks so I stayed clear. I'm proud of my ankle. We had to tweak the pattern, but I loved it. I was in Crafty Hands for five hours, finishing it, drinking Peach Mango Tea and my black coffee. Ah. Then I had to realllllly pee.

Kicked it with Emily, took her out to lunch. Then went to Shannon's. Oh, that was fun. I didn't do much talking, but it was fun. Shannon is easily excitable, so I don't do much over there. Got to watch That 70s Show which is amazing high.
Still doesn't beat The Office though.
Had a pleasant, safe, on track drive home.
Has anyone watched Bored to Death? It's worth it. It's so funny. I reallllly adore it. I am actually getting the creator's (Jonathan Ames) book Wake Up, Sir!. It would seem mildly entertaining, like Christopher Moore's books.

♪: owl city - fireflies

This song makes me happy.
Like, puts a smile on my face.

Lately, nothing has happened. Quite literally. Work really sucks. The work itself isn't bad, just the snobby coworker who believes I'm stupid because I live in the south and am 5 years younger than her. Flowers float out from her ass. She's from Portland, Oregon and that alone makes her married to God.
BLEH.

At Crafty Hands, not only do they know my name and greet me like an old friend, but they're just so, AH. It's like my home away from home? Barnes and Noble is just awkward. I was ordering a BLUEBERRY (omg, delicious) scone and a mocha frapp and this girl could hardly hear me and, instead of asking me to repeat myself, turns to her coworker like she holds the secret to life. Wtf? I'm right there, I'm not some doll you pressed to talk and am distorted.
Why are people so aggravating?
Of course I'm being contradicting.
I do enjoy meeting new people, but I hate being around people all the time. Like, Sean invited me to a party Friday, but I was in such a crabby mood and wet from work, I didn't go. It was a game board party too. I love playing games with new people. Last time I did that was two years ago, on a Halloween.
Fuck!
Halloween is coming up.
I miss handing out candy to the children (and the occasional overweight redneck who has a boyfriend who is obviously drugged/drunk. Sad thing is, they think they're the only ones who do it and it's just the funniest thing in the universe).
Maybe I should stop - I'm being spiteful.

Fuck, I want a drink.
Why does my family never carry any hard liquor?
Wait.
Why does my family never smoke an occasional joint?

ps -
My second sock :)

pss - this made me laugh out loud, in the middle of some guys' conversation.

♪: dir en grey - ain't afraid to die

This song is just a coincidence for the story below.

I ALMOST DIED, AGAIN.
This time, I had company - Amanda.

I'm the red, the SEMI is the black. We were in the right turning lane because we had to turn on 68/80. As we were fixing to turn right, that big black block started to realize he needed that lane and began to swerve in there, right where I was. I noticed he swerved, but since it was raining and windy, I figured he'd straighten himself back up. He didn't.
I yelled, "OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!" As I was looking for a safe spot to swerve into the green before he would wrangle my little red car to a pretzel. My heart lurched, I literally had nowhere because a lamp post and all that, but I was on my way to the grass before he finally saw me and my mouth opening and closing to yell OMG.
Amanda was laughing so hard, she was doubled over, pointing at me. "Your face!"
We were finally on 68/80 when she stopped laughing long enough to answer my question, "Yes I'm fine, hahahaha. That was great, your face. Your reaction. I had faith you'd get over, but your face."
Then she proceeded to mock me.
Hahahahaha.
I was so scared. Mostly because Amanda was in the car with me, but my heart beat so hard after that. AHHHHHHH. He was an arm's length from killing us.
It would have been ironic because the only reason he was there and we were taking the long way because there was a wreck on the interstate.
Hm.

♪: the pixies - where is my mind?

MY SOCKS, MY SOCKS ARE HERE.
Yep.
I'm almost done with one (as you can obviously see) and I have started on my second one :D I am so excited. Next week, we get to do the heel and fully finish the sock itself and, bah, excited. I'll get to wear them and make an excuse to go shoeless so I can show these puppies off.
Every fucking chance I'll have.
To work.
Book stores.
Crafty Hands (they would understand).
Home.
Car.
Friends' house.
The possibilities.
Other than that, nothing has happened.

There's this guy, Sammy, at work who is fucking hilarious.
I don't like him like I USED to like Ben who turned out to be like every OTHER guy out there - assholes. So, I was in the break room and I offered some of my Salt & Vinegar chips to him. He turned them down and asked if I had ever had pickle chips.
I make a face, "Ew no."
"They're awesome when you have the munchies - you know, if you're into that kind of stuff."
I laugh.
"It's so awesome, you can't stop," he then proceeded to scoop handfuls of air and act like he was eating said handfuls.
I laughed.
"You know, I only do that kind of stuff once to three times a year."
"Lies, I know you do it everyday."
One to three times a year from the same guy who randomly said a couple weeks back, 'My name is Sammy; I kick ass and smoke the grass.'
He laughed and pointed at me, smiled, and went back to work.
This guy is in his thirties.
No one knows I smoke at work, so, it's so funny to point out the stoners I could never get high with :( kind of. People ASS-U-ME that I'm boring because, on weekend nights, I stay home to knit and read.
Oh well.
Secrets, secrets, secrets.

♪: i love lucy

I obviously snapped this while Emily was off-guard. She was aggravated and didn't understand why I thought her face was funny.
I'm the complete opposite, muahaha.
Emily, "I look bewildered."
Me, "Because you were wondering what I was doing."

Muahahahaha.
Also disregarded that rule.

Anyway.
Yesterday was OKAY, not the best. BAHHHHHHHHHHHHH. That's right, BAH is the only way I can describe all the feeling I have. Take it as you will. On the other hand, I have fantastic news!
I have finished ONE BALL of green on the devil scarf.

Sorry, it's too long to put in one picture unless someone was holding it out for me and that wasn't going to happen. TWO MORE BALLS OF GREEN and one more ball of the brown/gray color and it's OVER. IT'S DONE.
Hallelujah.

♪: red hot chili peppers - dani california

When I left class today, after three hours of knitting, I had completed my toe and am now knitting the length of my foot. On the 16th, when I return for the last class, we're finishing the heel. I CANNOT WAIT until they're finished. The yarn has its own pattern, so, it's extra adorable? I'll update when I have started to really knit at it and start my second sock alll on my own.

I caught up on this week's episode of the office and am on season two of the office UK style. AHHHHHHHHHHHH. Love the UK. Why it isn't more popular in America, I don't know. ALTHOUGH, adult swim is kick it on soon. Now? I hardly ever watch the actual telly. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

♪: flumpool - 花になれ

Okay, everything bad that had happened today at work today is thrown out the window. Right out there, on my animal soiled lawn and the many bugs. No, today had its own 'equilibrium' and worked out just dandy.
Yes, it WORKED out just dandy.
haha ahaha ha ha.
Name that tune!

Emily, Jonny and me decided today was the we set off for Emily's parents' lake house half an hour away from SG. Welp, we did, and 30 minutes later we were at her grandmother's house, rolling it on the kitchen table, ha ha! She continuously reminded us to not make much light or noise because she didn't want to wake up the creepy man next door. Me and Jonny are cracking jokes to tease her. Like, with the joint in my mouth I would click my lighter, acting as though I was going to light it in her grandmother's house.
Hilarious times.
We were out there, on the porch, talking, staring at the fucking beautiful, gorgeous, breath-capturing lake. Then, after all the talking, and getting too fucking paranoid to breathe, we leave. I'm fucking driving and here is where a special, on my list, moment happened.
For starters, it's like a fucking labyrinth to get to her lake house and I'm high; I have an iPhone which I plug to the car to make music to cover the awkward silence and all of us have an attention span of a gold fish with moments of zoning out.
Emily directs me up to the last turn where she's fiddling with my iPhone, uncertain how to work the contraption. I'm just driving along until I'm like, "Why is it 35?" Because 68/80 is only 55MPH.
I feel Emily's eyes widen, "Oh fuck, you missed your turn."
I chuckle, "What?"
Jonny asked, "What the hell is it?"
I laugh, seeing a bridge, seeing a dam, "Are we at fucking spillway?"
Spillway takes a fucking 30 minutes drive from where I live. I was at least 20-30 minutes from the road I NEEDED to be on, 68/80. And from the road I needed to be on, it would take 30 minutes to get to SG, so I can drop them off and go home. WELL.
"Yes, Heather, we are. You missed your turn and we're now here. Just pull off and turn around the next chance you get off the bridge. Damn, I was fiddling with your phone and, damn."
"What, seriously?" I laugh, staring at the bridge, and the sides full of water and the dam. "Haha, what the hell? I'm sorry. Holy shit we're at Spillway."
I'm not freaked, just astonished.
We're driving, I'm laughing, Emily is ATTEMPTING to keep her cool and Jonny is biting his bottom lip.
Emily perks up, "Yup, this is barren river."
Soon enough, as we're coming off the bridge, I read aloud, "You're now in Barren County."
I laugh very loud and the rest of my party groan.
A couple of feet up there's a little turn, drive sort thing and so I turn in there and have to suddenly stop.
NO COPS.
BUT DEER. A heard of fucking female deer. They scatter, me and Emily are squealing in delight and Jonny is groaning/screaming, "OMG, WHAT IS IT?" He's freaking the fuck out, quite literally. He's so scared.
[Seriously, when do you ever get to see DEER? While in that state, while driving and one isn't leaping AT your car? It was so awesome. They were so close, I could have bumped them with my car.]
Me and Emily are trying to get to our phones and Jonny is attempting at a calm voice when he keeps uttering to, "leave, they're leaving [deer]."
We leave, I nearly veer off the road, I nearly do it again on the bridge (here Jonny was cussing and literally fixing to kick me out of my own driver's seat.) and we're back driving along.
I continuously apologized because, "If I were you, I'd be so aggravated with me."
It was funnnnnn.
Then, as we're parked at her car, we talk about my road races.
EAT MY ASS.
I have raced two times.
One was a tie and the other one I won.
FUCK YEESSS.