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Monday, July 20, 2009

♪: chris de burgh - the lady in red

Thank the Lord my awesome hair moment did not go to waste as it normally does. I actually fixed my hair (down) kickin' it with Kyle. Cricket, you have the trophy of familiarity, so me trying to impress you has disappeared. I did not fix my hair straight, just some hippy style, shaggy, everywhere hair. It smells nice. It's not fabulously hippie as I would like, you know, name-brand and all that jazz, it's kind of the knock off. Uh, i.e., Coca Cola = name-brand, Sam's Cola = Off-brand.
My hair is the Sam's Cola.

Work wasn't that bad today. Actually, it was pretty hilarious.
Until Randy made a comment and ruined the whole jolly mood in less than five seconds. HE. IS. SO. ANNOYING.
JD is a guy who was brought up in the slums. His family is so redneck, they are the epiphany. They are the holy vision of what rednecks should be. Drink is their drug and mouthwash type of Redneck.
He turns to me one day and says, "You know the other day when I mentioned Robert Frost? I really meant Faulkner. I really like Faulkner.
"Really? FaulKNER. And Robert Frost?"
"Yeah, whatever you say his name, they're really good. I like reading them."
"I don't believe you for one second."
"What? Not even if I said E. Commings?"
After a slight pause, SHOCKED that he even knew that name, replied, "No. Not in the least."
So, later on, after he keeps raving about it and I still stand on my beliefs about what he OBVIOUSLY DOES NOT READ, he says, "Ask Kenny (the carpenter), he'll believe me. Plus, he's redneck. He owns a truck with a few shotguns in the back..."
I interject, "...Yeah and Faulkner, and Frost."
"And some playboys."
Inject two seconds of awkward silence.
I continue, "Geez, just ruin my joke with something nasty."
He's cool, I'm actually just smiling when I say it all, I'm not just saying it to start something.
And since then he has been relentlessly complimenting me on my smarts, wittiness, and how hilarious funny I am because I am honest ALL THE TIME.
Which, he's right on the money. I am very blunt and always give my opinion; if I don't believe you, I'll tell you, haha.
Like, CW CLAIMS, and Kyle supposedly saw, SHROOMS in some vile.
CW CLAIMS he got them from a research facility.
Yeah, fucking, right.

At Kyle's apartment, I got to play Call of Duty: World at War. Not the actual army part, but the game where they have NAZI FUCKING ZOMBIES.
I nearly wet my pants in excitement.
Just a game where you can shoot an endless parade of the undead, piling bodies. You can stand on the bodies, watch their head explode, their limbs littering the floor and have a LASER GUN. I spent an hour on that game. AN HOUR. Got to level 26 and Kyle did the cheat 'kill all' thinking it'd just do the zombies.
EVERYTHING died. Including me.
Haha.
(I made it to level 26 on cheats and cheats alone. I'm quite horrible at playing video games in general. Although I love them.)

Before I started killing more than the population of Germany, we were at Ichiban's. ANDDD hahaha, toward the end this obviously inebriated woman and her boyfriend sat beside me. To my immediate right. (We're at the bar.) I could smell her delightful perfume. I was about to tell her before they started to order their drinks. So, I then turn to Kyle and just told him the comment. She heard me and thought I was making a comment about her alcohol stench.
I said no, "You smell quite the awesome."
And so, that started an entire conversation of perfume.
And then she asked us what we had, I said the vegetable special.
Kyle replied the spicy chicken ball.
So then the couple told us they were celebrating their engagement and how much they loveddd spicy food.
Did you know she took a bite of this hot, hot, hot dipping salsa and didn't know just how hot it was. "So, I'm begging for water and no one is understanding me. So, I'm running and I'm running searching for this water. Nothing. I'm sprinting, I'm sprinting."
I then ended their interest in us by saying, "Well, got to go kill some zombies. Have a happy engagement :)"

Kyle and me also discussed what to do during a zombie apocalypse. He has put a TON of thought into it.
Like, uh, he would hold fort in the woods and gather supplies for a water purification system, hahahahahahahaha.
A
WATER
PURIFICATION
SYSTEM.
Who in the heck thinks about that?
Ah, I love that boy.
(Not more than I love you, Cricket. You're my top bunk, the dumpling in my soup.)
Kyle loves zombies almost more than I do. An unknown trait and we've known each other for about 8-years. WOOOOOOW, I know.

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