don't even think about it, princess

My God, my cat is so fucking adorable.
I stayed up way past my bedtime. I went to bed at like four in the morning. THANKS TAYLOR.
But, I didn't have another thought to share, just something stupid I did while talking with Taylor. I've done a version of this sober, when I was around 13-years-old, so it's somewhat forgivable.
My remotes were on the other side of the desk. I was on my bed. I needed them, so, like I normally would sober, I leaned on my computer chair and extend one arm out to get them. Well, my chair swiveled and I fell straight to the floor, caught the chair and it fell right on me.
It was very embarrassing.
I guess I deserved it, haha.
When I was thirteen, I was sitting on the edge of my bed, with my back on the edge, and my legs folded on the bed. Well, Casey made me laugh (on the phone) and I tilted my head back. Well, my entire body followed. I did some type of flip off the bed and still managed to keep the phone firmly against my ear. My legs were over my head and I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe.
But, good times, right?

why... a hamster in the ass?

I wish I wrote this down as soon as it happened, but, I was working.

So, we have this new guy, Trevor. He's buff. Like, arms the size of my head, buff. He's 6'4'' and has Andre the Giant voice. It's amazing.
Me, Alura, Chase and Tabitha were in infants with him. Somehow, hunting was brought up and I said it was a disgusting sport.
Trevor - How do you get that?
Me - Well, we have guns. If we had the same resources they do, then it wouldn't be so bad.
Trevor - Well, they have camouflage.
Me - Hardly.
Trevor - So, you're saying we need to be stripped down while we hunt?
Me - Uh, yes. Wouldn't it be something to see you running around naked in the woods?
And, that was taken as the total opposite of what I meant. Seriously. Hahaha. My face was so red I couldn't even look at any one until I cooled down, quite literally.
Then I told them that we could do natural cameo, like rolling in the mud, or something.

I went out for drinks with Tabitha after work.
Can we please hold the disgusted expressions. I was very responsible. I drunk one glass of water with lemon, had a salad and one and a half drinks. It was nice. We talked and talked. She isn't half bad, I think I like her.
Hold the phone, not that way, as a friend.

I'm so bored. SO bored.
Tried Black Cherry Rum and Coke.
Magnificent.
Drinking it now.
I love getting drunk and talking to friends on the phone. Sitting in the dark, drinking, talking, listening to music on shuffle. So peaceful, helps me relax. Anyone else? I'm also watching Ron White on Comedy Central. Well, it came on last night, but I recorded it and went to bed.
Love it.
He's hilarious. One of the few comedians that can make me laugh.
Him, Aaron (some british comedian), Graham Norton, Jeff Dunham, Zach Galifianakis and those are all that came to mind.
Wow. I'm hard to please, or easy, however you want to look at it.
After this is over, the show, I'm going to call Alex.

So, see-ya!

ROAR.

NEW FUCKING HAIR.
And, for the record, I am exhausted trying to be that sweet college type. Side-swept bangs, nice clothes. I'll fucking dress like a dyke if I feel like it and leave my bangs however they are whenever I feel like it. I don't want to be someone I can't even feel comfortable in. I don't even like to look in the mirror because I'm not as pretty as other girls, or their weight. That fat gene runs in my family and I will always be fighting it. A chocolate bar can make me gain five pounds and it's extremely hard for me to even stop eating junk. I'm around it constantly, that's what my parents bring home and, sometimes, there's nothing at work or I'm so hungry after work I could eat off my own arm or Taco Bell. It fucking sucks. I'm so much better than I was, but it's hard getting there.
I'm running again and trying to fit into a realistic pant size (four down from where I am now). If I ever get there, I'll be cool with that. To get motivated to do anything other than sit on my ass is argh, can't even describe it. I'll have to take vitamins for that spurt of energy it gives me before my pee starts turning green.
And, I like my hair. It's different than most girls and that's what I love about it. My other hair wasn't me. I couldn't stand it. It just, it felt like I was wearing an uncomfortable wig.
It's not only that... The girls I like are just so elegant and pretty. I feel like an ogre, standing beside them. And, I feel like, if I don't look like them, how am I to ever get in a relationship? And, it's true. I don't want a bull-dyke who thinks working on cars is recreational. I want someone like... Hm. I don't know. I really like Drew Barrymore.
and, hahahaha, DON'T JUDGE ME ON THIS, but...
Kristin Stewart. She's hot, there, I said it.
and, no, i don't want those fucking gay ass Twilight movies
I'm going to get my ears pierced soon. I like earrings. I've had them done twice before but I stopped wearing them and my holes grew in. Plus I have this retard ear and, although hardly anyone notices, it's just the point.
(My ear doesn't have that groove, the entire thing is just smooth.)

Erica sent me a funny text on my way to work Saturday:

I felt like that when I worked at Donita's. Sad days those were.

Nashville, nice.

Okay, so, I'm going to bed soon, I'm just waiting on my porn to finish downloading.
But, as I am waiting, I was poking around in my external HD. It's amazing. I found the old recordings of me and Cricket.
A couple of good ones.

I found one where me and Cricket were listening to the Pimsleur. We did that for a good five minutes. Repeating and learning.
Eigo.
Sumimasen.
Then another one where her mother was going to drive us to Hardee's.
Cricket had to put on pants (pajama freak). I was putting on my shoes and I look up to see her just putting on her pants OVER her pajama bottoms.
Me - What're you doing? Are you going to stay warm like that? Or are you just doing that because you're on your period and don't want to change in front of me?
*moment of silence*
Cricket - I forgot I had them on, sorry.
*laughter from me*
She starts to take them off and I look away through the entire situation.
Cricket - Why did you look away?
Me - I figured you didn't want me to look.
Cricket - Why aren't you looking at my vagina? *moment of silence* So?
Me - Okay.

the scenes are so graphic, IIIII can't even read them.

Watching American Psycho. Makes me think of the novel.
Love them both.
(But the novel is my favorite.)

Working on a new layout, too.
DEFINITELY still in the works.

Okay, the entire reason of this entry is because my sister told me a funny conversation and I had to post how proud of it I am:
Amanda - So, me and Tori were talking about my story and I told her than Kenny was the reason for ANYTHING. Roy interrupted and was like, "So, what's his reason for the sun coming up?"
I said, "He decided it was time for the whore to get out of his bed."

I love that girl.

I have a good one, too, but I would have to say it in person because I have to do the stance and everything.
It's about that damn Disney movie Camp Rock and some awful woman at work.
If you know me, ask me, I will be HAPPY to regale this.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CRICKET
LOOOOOOVE.
Monday.

Now, I'm going to go to bed early. Resting my voice. Discovered I had laryngitis. It fucking sucks.
I miss singing, talking.
I never noticed how many conversations I had with myself a day until it hurt to talk. Tuesday, I had no voice. Interesting but lonely :(
DAMMIT, I WANT TO SING TO JOURNEY. AND/OR QUEEN.
Don't you dare judge me.

Why aren't we funding this?!

Totally eventful day.
Got my new driver's license. It's all snazzy and sideways. Which is depressing because it means that I'm old. No, wait. It SIGNIFIES that I'm old and will never have those days back of naive nature. Or am I overdramatizing?

Second, went to Cricket's. Woke her ass up and made her mother jealous because Cricket isn't bitchy toward me, haha. I'm awesome.
That's right.
80s slang tonight, baby.
As we were motoring to Hobby Lobby (me driving), this car suddenly hit their breaks. Although I tried doing the same, I still bumped her car.
No damage. She still took my information, though. And I hers.
My first semi-wreck. Is that even in the category 'wreck' or 'pansy bumps'?

Bought water colors for whenever we 'hang out' again.
Then we went to Target and I bought her some fuzzy halloween socks I saw and immediately thought of her. Ha.

We then ate Chinese. Cricket received the worst fortune ever ('Please come to this restaurant again.')
I received two.
A woman then told us that she brought her father to have some Chinese when he was 80 (for the first time ever in his life). When he received his fortune, he didn't have one. He then asked his daughter if he didn't have a future. She told us two months later he died.
Wow, right?

Went back to her house and sat around and watched television.
I came home, because my throat has been bothering me ever since our last visit together. So, I sucked on this awful, taste like shit, lozenge because my mother made me or told me to stop 'bitching.'
I then sat around with them, in my pajamas, and watched television.

OH, I forgot to mention, one month ago today (exactly) I went to buy my first legal bottle of alcohol. The woman didn't card me.
What was even the point?
(TO GET WASTED!)
w/e. stfu.

ps - watched the season finale of True Blood. A minute each scene. I wish it hadn't gone by so quickly and made the last episode like two hours long.
Fuck them, right, for being lazy?

it's okay to say oops?

I'm not wearing a bra and I feel like, maybe, that was a bad idea. I feel 80 and how nothing will stay in place and has a mind of its own.
Tmi?


I painted a pretty picture.
No one laugh.
I like painting/drawing... I just SUCK at it. I'm just going to stick to writing.

SO. Cricket and I hung out yesterday night. It was nice.
She stole my phone and again and took pictures (per usual).


Isn't she beautiful? The things I would do.
Maybe that's the booze talking.
Haha.
Naw.
Just block my face from your mind. Those clothes? Everything I had was dirty, stfu.

Experienced my first road block yesterday night.
They didn't even ask if I had been drinking. Why wasn't there a reason I wasn't? I wasn't, but it's the point.

A few weeks ago, a woman brought her "service monkey" in. She said it was a service animal and I wanted to ask, "What is that monkey possibly servicing?"

Marina snapped that.

I got really tipsy a week or so ago, and took pics with my mannequin... Or, "my torso" (Cricket calls it).


Hehe, that one is my favourite.

OH OH OH.
I have conversations from last night. Hold on, I have to write them down.
Me - Yeah, my mother asks me about once a week, "heather, are you a lesbian?"
Tina - Well, are you?
Me - *offended face*
Tina - It's okay. Just tell me, are you?
Me - *offended face over to Cricket; she shrugs*
Tina - Hey, at one point I had to ask Cricket because she wasn't dating any boys.
Me - *drops offended face* That's because boys are boring and have no personality.
Tina - It's okay, Ichi, I understand.

Then we started reading random things from the guide as her father flipped through channels.
"I wanna relieve my foot pain!"

Then we started talking about hamsters. Because Zak killed one, squeezed it too hard.
Someone I can't Hear - Go play with a hamster.
Me - No. Then I can get hamster rabies. Then I turn into Hamstergirl.
Cricket & Tina - *laugh*
Me - What would my powers be?
Cricket - You could stuff a lot of stuff into your cheeks.
Me - I can run really fast!
Cricket - you could claw through almost anything.
Tina - You could bite through things---
Cricket - Yeah, you could bite through almost anything. You'd have gigantic buckteeth.
Me - I would have the cute factor to level ten.
Cricket - You would have the whiskers. You would have the ability to know if your entire body would fit through something by, you know, the whiskers.
Me - But what could I shoot out through my wrists?
Tina - Nothing.
Me - Awwwwww.
Cricket - Poop!
Tina - Little pellet poop.
Me - Oooh, nasty. I wouldn't go there, ever.
Tina - You could bend over and be like, "Pow pow pow!"
Cricket - You'd be able to eat almost anything. You would have a fascination with wheels.
Me - I could have some fun with that.
Cricket - It would be really easy to entertain yourself.

I love her. Cricket I mean, not Tina, haha.
But, isn't she cute? She realllllly got into that.

LOOOOOOOVVVEEEEE.

who's the cutest, sweetest boy in the whole world....?

Today, it's just.
A lot of miniscule things are happening in my life. Not something that I want to record, but just in general.
But, today at work, I was hit with some awful news. A man, older gent, had two kids and a wife, probably mid-30s, killed himself.
I really liked this man, I really did. He was kind, taught me things and liked to joke around; he had a really nice sense of humor.
I'm just depressed and angry.
He should have talked to someone, thought of his kids.
I'm not new to suicide. Two Uncles and a Cousin committed it in my family.

I know this is depressing, but... I had to share. This really hit me. I was tearing up as my co-worker explained. I barely new the guy - just his name.

<3

good-bye, good-bye, goodbye... no, not that.

I'm just quoting a song. Yeah.

I'm nearly drunk.
I'm a beer away, I guess. I'm too drunk to close my eyes, extend my arms and touch my nose. Haha. I love doing it.
Okay, it has yet to be a month since I turned 21-years-old and this is a list (I compiled of all I consumed, by bottles):
3x Burnett's Cherry Vodka
3x Oliver Red Wine
12x Beers (Heineken and Michelob)
1x Green Apple Smirnoff
1x Red Wine I can't remember/pronounce
1 glass of red wine at Olive Garden

That's all in three weeks. I don't have a problem. My only problem is turning 21 and wanting to experience shit.
Am I rite or am I rite?
(When I misspell it's my gansta speech.)

Discovered Mickey Avalon.
Amazing.
Perverted but amazing.

I love Cricket but she doesn't love me and proves it by ignoring me.
Life sucks.
I want her to love me, but something I do just doesn't sit right with her. What is it? PLEASE, SOMEONE EXPLAIN.
I think about it every day and never understand--never come to a conclusion.

OSHIT. NOTORIOUS SHUFFLED ON.
Let's ride, get high, get high, get high, let's ride, let's ride.


Work remains the same.

Susan barely crammed her body into what looked like an oversized wheelbarrow before the thing chasing her sniffed the air for her scent. She held her breath, gagging, sweat pouring from every pore of her body. Her legs twitched and ached in their awkward position. Her head pounded from a migraine. Her body begged for release and all she could really think about was what was still five feet away from her, maybe, maybe less.
Footsteps, silence.
Crickets and wind.
Anonymous scream.
The girl released some of the air pressure - with it, vomit. Ziploc lips, the vomit pressed tightly upon them. Susan squeezed her eyes shut, reminding herself of the monsters. If she let it out, they, it would smell her. Discover her stuffed into some wheelbarrow with mice gnawing at her shoe and something crawling in her tangled hair.
Susan wanted to moan. Every atom of her being moaned and she wanted to release what she felt.
The anxiety.
The fright.
The thought of being twenty-years-old and dead.
She wanted to be at the party still. Drunk. Couldn’t even remember her own name. Now, her party clothes were torn, soiled and one of her brand-name shoes lost somewhere outside of her safe spot.
Susan wanted to cry, but it would give away her position.
For one brief moment she stared at the night sky and not at limitless space, vomit swishing her mouth-the taste of alcohol and rotten eggs. Susan appreciated it and wondered what constellation was which prior to noticing how still the night had gotten and the wind, there wasn’t one. The crickets, none of them played.
She wanted to ask what was there, but despite her quietness and the will to stop her body in all its endeavors to cope, Susan noticed a pair of gray hands gripping the side. When she opened her mouth to scream, the head popped over the side and smiled.
Susan, before the monster aimed for her throat, chocked to death on her vomit.

you were like AGHGHARTTGGG

So, my college shit is finally submitted. I'm just waiting on being accepted and then a meeting with my advisor.
Cannot wait.
Had another dream with living in Korea... Then I had to visit China. It was poor. When I got back to Korea the woman I was with had been put in jail. I visited her and spoke Korean&English.
Amazing.

Me and Marina were sitting in her car late the other night.
This huge ass Lotus or whatever jumped onto her steering wheel. I went, "OMG!"
Marina just freaked the fuck out and decided that the right way to react would be to scream bloody murder, jump onto my lap, grab my arms and keep pulling me BACK INTO THE CAR when I was trying so hard to exit.
When she finally realized it was okay, she regained her self composure and said, "Damn, I thought you saw a guy with a gun or something."
Wtf?
At least I wouldn't be shot because she's a human shield. Plus, all that guy's attention would be on her, trying to get her to shut up. By the time he realized there was a white girl, I would already be in Walmart, calling the cops.

what do you want me to say

OHHHHHHHHHHHH BOOOOOYYYYYYYYYYYYY.
Me and Marina hung out last night after work. We got food, ate it, listened to music. Boy oh boy, then, after listening to music we were hyped to dance. So, we went back to our work's parking lot (deserted) and danced.
She was impressed with me, shit yeah.
I was 'cool as alaska.'
I have videos of her doing 'The Walker.'
(See, I did some dance earlier in the car, Marina said it looked like an old lady and her walker. We then made that dance and even added 'The Hip Slip' to it.)
Ha.
Sorry, though, I'm not posting the videos for obvious reasons.

And, thanks to last night, I have a mosquito bite.
FUCK LIFE.

Did closing announcements last night.
Speech impediment decided to work it...
FUCK LIFE (again).

Yesterday I was sick. Had to call in and everything - don't know what was wrong with me.

The DAY BEFORE yesterday's day before (ha, wrap your head around that), though, me and Marina kicked it. Sweet. Again.
We got something to eat, ate it, drove to Western. We sat around the fountain.

Yeah.
And Marina ran through it. Ha.

WEIRD AND BORING DREAM ALERT!

The dream last night wasn't really interesting, but it wasn't boring either. I don't know how to explain it. I was at this castle, fake, for just looks, for a tour. I came with a group of people. During the middle of our tour the earth shook a bit and water started to fill the castle. Everyone moved to higher ground, trying to figure out what was wrong. As we looked out windows and doors we saw aliens. Like the monsters from Stephen King's 'The Mist.'
The women started to scream and the guys tried to calm them down, trying to talk things through. Everyone immediately wanted to leave in their cars. One guy made it to his car but was crshed by some giant bug. We all went to the roof, the astle starting to brim with water and saw these sticky tentacles reaching up and over, bringing some guy down, in half. There were more tentacles, all swarming buildings, covering roofs to make sure no one was on one.
A man pulled up in a car and I'm thinking how was that possible because no one could escape. We were trapped in one house until we died. He started to bring news of how we could escape. He was screaming it at us until a claw got him.
The water was everywhere. Over our heads, in the cars. I was freaking out because I thought we couldn't breathe and I would suffocate. But everyone started to swim and seem calm. And, by Marina, I discovered if you breathed through your nose then it was all right.
I swam until I noticed there wasn't a surface to the water. We were stuck - I woke up.

you're just trying to get me back now.

I've been digging through my oldie music files.
It's been very entertaining as of late. I feel so old. Remembering when these singles came out and when a band would form and break up a year later or so.
ARGH.
I'm turning 21 in less than a month and I'm so depressed.
I don't want to grow up?
B-o-o h-o-o.
I mean... I just head-banged to this song and got lightheaded.
WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME?
Soon I can't wake up in the morning without coffee and complain about needing a nap halfway through the day.
OR, omg, can't stay up past 2AM.
And talking about insurance and what happened at the job today would be EXCITING.
Songs, from my generation, will, one day, be on an oldies station.
Computers, gadgets and all other new-age technology would be like trying to work on a car for me. I won't understand it and have my kids help explain everything. Then I still won't understand it and I'll get angry because I'm confused.
Maybe, one day, google will cease to exist and I will remember when it launched.

Btw, decided what I wanted to do with my life - Want to live in Japan. That's about it, haha.

I love it when I play old hippie oldies from the late 70s to early 80s and my mom can just sing them like it was yesterday ha.
Yesterday it was The Steve Miller Band - The Joker.
(If I was singing to that song really loudly, that one night I was followed by a cop, I would understand why he followed.)


My hair dried like that and it was so boyish I had to pic it.

In the meantime, enjoy this video of Princess chasing his tail.

this watermelon is fantastic!

Okay, I'm tired of cops.
There, I said it.
My god, they just follow anyone.
No, I didn't get pulled over... But, I did get followed, again. Like they have nothing else better to do. With plenty of cars rolling past I'm the one he chooses ... like some light guiding God's children to the gates.
There I am, driving through SG (on my way home from work), singing 'Knockin' on Heaven's Door' by Guns'n'Roses and there's a cop obviously on the stake. Car is on and everything.
I am so not breaking the speed limit so I thought I was safe. Until I went a little down the road and noticed he was pulling the fuck out.
I go to the post office anyway because I have to drop off my bill. I drop it off and I can see him passing down the street in my rearview mirror. As I go to turn around, he's going up the post office street (instead of down like I came) and slowing down to a crawl. I back up, pull up to the stop sign to wait on him to pass. As I'm staring at him he immediately speeds up and looks away.
Wtf?
He followed me out of SG, btw.
WTFH was I doing?
Someone, please tell me.
I left no mundane detail out.
This is like the fourth time this has happened within the past three months. In the city, out the city, what have you. It's tiring.

ha, the carpet does match the drapes

Yesterday was nice.
Went to the movies with my sister to see 'Toy Story 3.'
If you liked 'Toy Story 1' then that movie would be the shit for you. However, since I'm a joyless person, I didn't really like TS3 and, therefore, will probably never watch it again.
This annoying, dirty family had to sit in front of us. Sucked. But the way they laughed and the little girl would make growling sounds sometimes was funny.

Afterward Amanda introduced me to a smoothie. IT WAS FANTASTIC. I drunk the shit out of it. Literally. Slurping it enough where I wouldn't get a freeze brain.
Wait, is that how it's said?
Anyway. I wanted to go up and down on the escalators so I led my sister to Macy's. In there, some old lady who worked there eyed me and my beloved smoothie. I was like, 'Bitch, whatever.'
So, I alone went up the escalator and up there was this table full of small trash cans and their boxes underneath. They were having a sale apparently. By the time I reached the top I was finished with my smoothie. Seeing a regular, o', found in every store and corner of the mall, trash can I stick it in there.
Not realizing, mind you, that it was only a demo for people who wanted to purchase the trash cans.
So, I just threw away my smoothie in some fake trash can.
Hilarity!

Went to get my sister an icee.
Went to Crafty Hands.
Went home.
Productive.

so eminem said that his music sucks now because he's off drugs?

WOW.
Shot off fireworks for the first time yesterday. My cousin actually went to Tennessee and bought a few boxes of firweorks just so I could shoot some off.
Awesome.
Burned my hand with that fucking red devil - I think I heard it cackle too.
Then, towards the end of the show, my father came up and wanted to experiment with putting one firework in a different tube.
Welllllll.
The first three tubes went off great. I was looking up at their show when all of the sudden my dad and cousin said "WHAO!" Then, I guess when my dad realized I was still there and said, "HEATHER, step back!"
I looked down to see these red sparks flying at me. It felt as if I just went to hyper drive or something spacey.
It was awesome.
I started running back, laughing.
The tube exploded.
Awesome shit.
Tons of fun.
My sister has a short video of this. If it's anything, I'll share.

Aside from that, nothing.

ha jewsville

Me and Cricket kicked it yesterday night/early this morning. Awesome time.
We watched Sailor Moon and wondered why we even liked it as children. But it was the best to watch. The pixie boy, the piper boy, the annoying voices, the colors, the 'that's what she said,' the copying Japanese, the skipping each chapter and saying, 'Now this is what's happening.'
Good times.
Loved it.
It was a lot of fun.

Cricket - it's only half a bowl, I'll have to go get more.
Me - Okay.
Cricket - *gets up, leaves the little picture container.*
Me - *continues watching Sailor Moon* I have to be functional.
Cricket - You want more?
Me - YES! This is awesome.
*a long moment passes*
Cricket - *looks very aggravated and nearly stomping through her room* He was afraid I would drop it... *snatches the picture container and leaves*
Me - hahaha!

Oh yeah, I wanted to eat the little monsters - I thought they would taste like blueberries.

OH YEAH, we have a game now.
Take hits whenever you see something PHYSICALLY impossible while watching Bible Black.

PRESSURE - UNDER PRESSURE THAT'S OKAY

From the crack of the door he took a picture of some beautiful girl standing there. "What're you doing?" She asked, glancing between him and the device.

Eyes on the phone, he clicked.

He shrugged, pursing his lips, "Nothing." He cleared his throat, dropping the phone his pocket. "What is it that you said you wanted again?" He extended the door to his arm's length, leaning against it, trying to seem cool.

The girl was affronted, there was no question. "I live in the apartment directly under you and they had your mail mixed in with mine." She had been going through her large purse until she pulled out a magazine and an envelope.

The magazine was ASS PLAY and the envelope had been his internet bill. His name was clearly typed on the magazine, with his apartment number--there was no way to make an excuse for that. He tried at a half-smile, "It's, it's for my mother, you know. She wants surgery on her ass and this is just reference."

The girl closed her purse after the boy awkwardly reached for the magazine and bill. She sucked in her lips and raised her eyebrows. "Whatever helps you sleep at night." She turned to leave, her flats padding against the hallway floor.

"Wait!" He stepped out the door and the first thing he noticed was the temperature change and the second hand been another girl waiting. They both looked on the verge of saying something. Both there, both pairs of eyes on him, both beautiful hair, both nice clothes, both nice eyeliner and bit his lip and shook his head. "Nothing, I have nothing."

It took everything he had to not stare at that woman's ass.

The stranger laughed and the other one pointed a thumb over her shoulder. The stranger laughed again.

i almost yawned myself in a coma

The Karate Kid.
Holy shit, what a piece of something another.
Total crap.
That movie was only made to draw tourists to China and place random songs that have NOTHING to do with the movie. Let me lay out the (most random songs from the) soundtrack for you.
Lady GaGa - Poker Face
AC/DC - Back in Black
Flo Rida - Low
John Mayer - Say
Random, right? Those songs were placed to make money, too. Especially AC/DC... They have been so desperate recently. Anyone else notice?
Not only was the movie a waste of my time, it barely had any action scenes. Only the last twenty minutes had any interesting action. That movie is TWO HOURS and twenty minutes, fyi.
The only way I could recommend that movie is for a person who likes to see Chinese boys wrestle and get all sweaty... OH, don't forget to make angry faces at each other.

SAY WHAT.
Last night/REALLY early this morning I kicked it with Marina after work.
We had something to eat, we went to Walmart and hung out downtown sharing and shit.
While we were eating in the Southern Lanes parking lot, again, that same guy who was yelling "WOW THAT'S A LOW PRICE!" with me and Cricket, started yelling obscenities to people. haha. He had already been through the parking lot once since we had been there. They would make a circle around the block before coming back. They noticed us and yelled something. I wanted to ignore them because, well, they were a problem waiting to cause something.
Once they yelled something at us, Marina immediately stuck her head out the window and screamed, "COME AND GET IT" or something to that affect.
I was stunned.
They yelled, "FUCK YOU!"
And she yelled back, "GO TO HELL!"
I'm sitting there making :O! face.
I go to start my car after they leave and are not in my site. She asked what I was doing. I explained they were going to come back and I'm in my car. I would have to leave now so they won't follow me.
She seems surprised I'm having this reaction and keeps exclaiming to stay because they're not coming back.
Fuck that.
We left.
I was not going to talk to, and be stuck in the middle with, some guys who were obviously not sober.

At downtown there was this obviously drunk guy walking around being followed by someone who looked old enough to be his mother.
She kept wanting to give him a ride.
Ha.

So, it was fun.

Oh, remember those hookah lounge pics I mentioned? MARINA FINALLY POSTED THEM :)


I looked trashed. I was completely sober.

Oh, earlier, I tried to take a pic of my new afghan I'm knitting, but Molly walked in....

AWWWWWWWWWW. Makes me laugh.

ps - this HUGE ASS fly is in my room. It keeps flying into my cat's face. Cat = getting pretty pissed.

i am not going to take you outside

You know what I'm going to bitch about first?
Having to go to work tonight. But tomorrow I have off. Doesn't even seem fair.

Yesterday was productive.
Bought my mom's b-day gift, finally got sheets to my new comforter, picked up my comforter from the dry cleaners, got my sister a present, even tried on jeans from my favourite place to buy jeans... Sadly, they have moved to a younger generation and no longer will carry adult jeans.

My new bed set.
FUNNY STORY. Well, maybe it was funny if you were there, buttttttt.
See, when my sister got her new laptop a few months back, she didn't have a lap thing. Dad wouldn't let her just set it on her lap or bed, etc... So, she had to set it on the box it came with. I hated that fucking box.
So, when I bought her the laptop lap thing, a real one, I came home and immediately went for that damn box. I took it to the kitchen where my dad and sister were sitting. I threw it on the ground, exclaiming, "I hate this box!" and immediately took to stepping on it, squishing it in.
My sister and dad both started SCREAMING, "WHAT! HEATHER! WHAT THE HELL!"
Before they could jump me, I ran into my car and grabbed her present, bringing it in. My dad immediately calmed down, explaining my sister was in her bedroom, nearly in tears.
I knocked on her door, finally got her out and shoved that thing into her face. Her expression changed and she said, "I just looked like a jerk."
It was worth it.

OOOOH.
Saw a monk at work the other day. I did sneak a pic.

HAHAH.
When I went to electronics to get a hook, I asked Aaron, "Did you see the monk?"
"Yeah, I asked, 'Can I help you find something?' He totally did not understand me."

you can still hear me

Marina, Cricket and I all went to the Hookah Lounge.
Amazing.
We all had a good time and the only white guy who works there liked my purse.
I'll have more pics of us later on when I get them from Marina. In one of them, when I was positioning myself, I nearly knocked over the hookah. Marina, you screamed like a little bitch. That white guy looked over so quickly, haha.

OH MY OH MY.
Legion is one HORRIBLE movie. The only good part had to be the father and son duo. ('But Pa, I'm only retarded a little.')
That movie is possibly the worst of 2009 or whenever it fucking came out. Who in the hell thought they would make money off it? Honestly?

Cricket - I met ichi's friend today.
Me - Marina.
Cricket - Oh, I was wanting to call her Marena or something like that so I didn't.
Me - You should. Even after she corrects you just keep doing it.
(*this is just a reminder... I still want you to do that.)

Then I was getting aggravated because everyone had their own lighter and I'm not used to it so I kept trying to hand it over. Haha. Then I was raving about a system I had and how I loved that I didn't have to move my elbow on my knee. Just afterward I started drumming on my thighs. For a good two minutes, doing little tunes.

*Cricket turns to her computer to turn on Tom Petty*
Me - Press T. Just press T.
Cricket - *still going through her music*
Me - Press T. Just PRESS T.
Cricket - *presses a button that I can't see and Tom Petty starts to play*
Me - *shuts up* Did you press T?
Cricket - Nope.
Me - Why didn't you press T?

Learned that I had sung 'still doll' to them in the car one day. Don't remember that shit, but wow.
If you don't know what that is, here's a youtube link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWUxZ7LIUss

WE COLORED.
Cricket's

(click on me to be bigger!)

ichi's

(click on me to be bigger!)

ps -
http://tinypic.com/m/aooodh/2
hehehehehehe

i had my music on to begin with.

Everyone have a good father's day?
I had to work. Came home, ate dinner with the family. Napped. Hung out with Cricket.
No influence of drugs and it was still really fun.
The watermelon, the making ramen in the mini-pot.
The whole bringing up memories I had forgotten about.
Good times.
Some of them stupid as shit.

FUCK.
YESTERDAY WAS MY 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY FOR THIS BLOG.
How could I forget?
I'm not going to do a recap of the year because I'm lazy, but shit.
Hm.

LIFE IS DE BUBBLES, UNDER DA SEA.

The other night, not last, there was this kitten in the road. I didn't realize it until I drove over it... NO, I didn't run over it and murder the poor thing, but I made sure it was safely under my car as I passed it.
It looked fucking freaked.
Hilarious and sad at the same time.

that shit is gayer than i am.

Yesterday/early this morning was somewhat productive.
Met up with Cricket. I don't know how to describe it. It was weird. Like nothing has changed in the past several months we didn't speak. I don't know if that's a good thing or not? I still feel as if nothing will be the same as it used to be back in the day when I was jobless. Not saying I was thinking it would be, but there was that small chance of hope.
There isn't that trust or that strong 'i want to be around her' feeling. For me, I don't think for her?
Cricket, I know you're reading this, haha.
Plus I spilled my guts out and all I can do now is act awkward, because awkward is my middle name.
(That's taken from a story of mine.... "You know the one, she's practically orgasming under my magic flageelees and, all of the sudden, weird's her middle name. I ask the number one ...." Yeah, that one.)

ANYWAY.
I had been sitting in a southern lanes parking lot, eating, watching people, ya know. I was waiting for Cricket to be off work so we could hang out wherever. She manages to get off early. I end up waiting an hour in the parking lot, by myself, ha. I was watching these group of friends yell obscenities to people until she came.

We sat in the car and chatter, right after she gave me a belated Valentine's Day present:

It's lovely and I do love it. Seriously. It's the best. I can't wait to give you my surprise.

As we were sitting in the parking lot, someone started honking which set off a chain reaction of honks. Some guys started yelling about the honking. They kept it going for a good minute/minute and a half.
And, what I believe to be the same guy, had his friend circle the parking lot so he could yell out, "WOW, THAT'S A LOW PRICE!" at the top of his lungs.
Very amusing.

On my way home around 2AM I had to stop at the Minit Mart. I was so nervous because you know the only good people are there that early in the morning.
NO ONE was there. Surprised me. I didn't even see a cashier.
So, I drove off and noticed, on the darkest part of my road, that I had left my gas tank open. Had to pull off and everything.

None of that is interesting, I know, but I'm trying to distract myself from the nausea.

what does that have to do with anything?

NEW LAYOUT.
Long needed? Longed for?
I don't know where I'm going with this, honestly.
I like it, the layout I mean. I'm wondering, right now, if it's me or if it'll grow on me and more and more.
I also made my blog public, again. I don't know how long it's going to stay, but I feel like I finally found the key to my shackles? Am I over-dramatizing?
Ja.

This morning I had done something utterly stupid. I shouldn't have done it.
it's just going to make me look pathetic and weird, stalkerish.
It's not like I wish I could take it back, it's just... I would have rather gave it in a better time - not one where the world is ending and all the girls lose their virginity.
No, still a virgin.
Well, if you knew, you would understand the whole world ending joke.

I'm a mess.
Haha.

Finally had some semi-interesting dreams last night.
First time since winter broke.
See?
I was right.
When it's cold, when I'm freezing, I have the best dreams.
Now, think, what do you think I'm doing now, before I go to bed?
Yes, that's right.
Laying in an ice filled bath tub.
Nah, I'm kidding.
Or am I?

ps - I may switch back to the previous layout, if this one doesn't prove worthy.

that was it?

Do I have high standards? I don't think I do. I just like clean people?
Anyway.

I was cleaning out the files on my computer (deleted like twenty gigs. Hooray!) and as I was tagging my classical folder, I listened to this one song by Sergei Vasilievich Rachmaninoff.
Piano Concerto No. 2 (Op. 18) - Moderato
I FUCKING LOVE IT.
Listened to it 6 times so far.
Not that I counted, iTunes did that for me.
It's so beautiful. Makes me want to light candles and drink wine while reading Mary Shelley - something to that extent.
Or make-out.
Whatever, I'm just throwing shit into a fire here.

Still have yet to finish Volume One of Lord of the Rings. It's really good, BUT SO FUCKING BORING. Help me to finish this monster.

Shampooed my carpet. Nice smelling now.

Man my life has become a mass of uninteresting facts. I feel so useless nowadays. Ever since I cut communication with all my 'friends' it's just been bland. So bland. WHY AM I SO BORING? I guess many people can say that. I need a new group of friends who are interesting.
Any suggestions?
I miss one, though. Can you all guess who that is?
I feel awful, but, you know, it isn't ALL my fault... Just 60% of it.

OH, something interesting:
Nearly killed some amish people. Shit, it was 11:30PM. There are no streetlights on my country road. That fucking buggy, going 9MPH.... I nearly bulldozed them. Straight up kill them. Going around that curve, only two small red reflectors working. Wtf, right?
Well, they had McDonalds.
....
Right?

you got something to say, just say it.

Honestly, NOTHING has happened that anyone needs to be aware of.
No updates, no anything.
I'm still single, still working, still no college.
Oh, oh, oh I know.
I hate facebook? Want to gut it. Everything out of it and wear its skin to mock it. isn't that romantic?

Let Amanda watch Clerks. She really liked it. We're gonna watch Clerks 2 tomorrow.


THERE IT IS. OH YEAH.

All I've really been doing is writing and editing.
And editing.
And editing some more.
Printed out some fucking 103 pages to edit a story... AND IT'S STILL NOT ALL PRINTED. wth.
Here's my little rant that I had on fb:
"My hp ink has only lasted me 103 pages. Wth? On the fucking box it advertises 65% more than bargain inks... Sooooo, where does that leave me? They're going to say bargain inks only shit out, roughly around, 39 pages? Fuck HP. No wonder e-books are sweeping the nation."
I wanted that rant longer in the midst of my anger, but no room. If I had the inspiration now I would EDIT it and make it the best. Then send it to HP. Let them deal (although they don't have one caring bone in their body).

IPHONE 4 THIS MONTH. SHIT YEAH. SO FUCKING EXCITED. I want to scream to the world at how excited I am... Oh, that reminds me.

Mom - How's that Java chiller?
Me - *stops drinking it* really nice.
Mom - *smiles* Good, it had an extra espresso shot in there. Are you feeling it?
Amanda - Yeah, how do you feel?
Me - Honestly? I want to scream running through the yard. It's amazing. I feel alive!

oooh, that looks spacious.

Me - *watching mom set up her headphone to her ipod* What? You're going to listen to that while Shaun of the Dead is on?
Mom - Yeah. I don't really like it.
Me - WHAT. You don't like this movie?
Mom - Eh. It's okay. It's more for the younger generation.
Me - Is not. Anybody could love this movie. An eighty-year-old man could love this movie.
Mom - Yeah, if he's happy and fun-loving... Which I'm not.
Dad - *walks into the living room via his bedroom* What're we talking about?
Me - Shaun of the Dead.
Dad - Oh! I need to go get my headphones.

Last night/EARLY this morning me and Marina, after work, went out to eat.
Ate in my car.
Fun, seriously. We sat there for an hour, watching people, talking.
She's a good influence.
We talked about how our faces are in our pictures.
I never noticed I always do do the same expression... WHY DOESN'T ANYONE TELL ME THESE THINGS?
According to Marina, I'm this expression:
:|

Saw David Jack Bell at Target.
He also thinks I'm violent... I think he had been following my blog before I made it private.

ps - walked into the fitting room. saw some chick in a bikini.
I had a hard-on then felt guilty because she looked under 18, haha.

okay, bye.

Yesterday/Early this morning was oh-so-eventful.
Hung out with Marina yesterday. Oh, I have pictures alright.
That's later.
Met a Chinese bitch.
Marina hit me in the face, haha. OUCH. Right on the o' nose.
We went to that hookah lounge. It was so cute:


Strawberry Mango was our flavor. We were in there for like two hours.
I tried on her hair:


My eyebrows are so blonde compared to that wig.
It was really fun, seriously. A lot of things were said/answered/realized.
Woe is me! My car.
The battery FINALLY died after a couple of weeks of fucking up.
Don't worry, this story has a happy ending.
The battery light stayed on for awhile yesterday. I knew it was going to die - I just thought I had enough time to get home (24 miles from where Marina lived). So, as I leave, my headlights really dim and my engine light going strong, I hook up my ipod, knowing it was bad. As I was driving to a stop sign, allll the lights INSIDE my car turned off, together.
My headlights were so dim, you couldn't tell they were on.
I kept muttering, "Make it home, make it home."
I was driving down the road, my car struggling when my car warning lights all flickered and half of them stayed on. I was freaking the fuck out. All of the sudden, my spedometer started to wig out. When I touched the gas pedal it would hit zero. At this point I was looking for a place to park, out of the way.
Then, my car started to slow down.
I pull into a well lit area of some parking lot. I sit there for a minute, worried as fuck, trying to think who I could call.
I chose Casey because Marina had to work early in the morning.
It's midnight so I know half of my friends are drunk.
Casey answers AFTER THE SECOND TIME.
"You in Bowling Green?"
"Yeah."
"Are you drunk?"
"Almoosttttt."
haha.
Called my parents like nine times - no answer.
Called Marina.
Geez.
I felt so bad. I cried. I didn't want her to drive so far when she had to work so early in the morning.
I gave her fifteen dollars, drove her to the interstate from the "Bashful Blue" truck.
My car is fixed now, I'm safe and Marina is too haha.
227 dollars to fix.
I am now starting a savings account, where they AUTOMATICALLY draw from my bank account to add.
And my college app next week, depending on my budget. (I just needed a kick in my ass to get things a rollin'.)
Life is hard.

have a funny conversation to lighten the mood:
Me - I checked on the strawberries --
Mom - The bunnies were eating them yesterday.
Me - Haha.
Mom - I tried to get Molly to come outside and bark to scare them away but your father said, 'Vern, leave those bunnies alone! They're not going to do any harm!' *rolled her eyes* I answered, 'Are you sure?' He said, 'Yeah, they're just rabbits.'
Me - You know, I was telling Amanda that yesterday - that it would be cute to see bunnies eating strawberries. It's such a cute thought.
Mom - *she chuckled* You know Bugs Bunny. He ate carrots from Elmer's garden.
Me - *smiling* Yeah, you don't see him chewing on twinkies, do ya?

what's on your nose, cat?

Is it sad that I get happy over cleaning my bathroom - it's all shiny and everything.
Makes me so proud to shit in there.
Ooh.

So.
Thanks to facebook I am now reunited with an old friend. She had moved to Cincinnati. I miss her - she's hilarious.
Thanks to FUTURAMA, I am reunited with 'Lola' by the Kinks.
:D!
Got to watch the Amazon episode last night. Still makes me laugh. I remember when that episode came out forever ago. As a kid I never really was interested in Futurama. As an adult it took me forever to get back into it.
I watched it high once.
Better than watching Family Guy high.
That's saying something.

Fixing to finish another chapter of A Macabre Story. My sister could stop bitching at me to update.
Oh the drama.

Almost died today by some Mustang GT - that would have been depressing.
Got lost on the way home because I wanted to try a 'different route.'
Saw a fucking huge as snake, dead, in my lane.
Cleaned the bathroom.
Watched Roseanne.
Finished a chapter.
Did dishes.
Took out the trash.
Ignored a call from work to go in.
Took a shower.
All in a day's work?
Hell, it's not even 2PM.
Goody.

that movie was sad, you're heartless

Went to a game night at Pedro's recently. Just six people. It was FUN. I was surprised. His brother, something another - can't remember the name, showed up and I think he ended up liking me because I'm such a smart ass who doesn't take shit. That's why Pedro likes me - I'm not afraid to say nearly anything.
NEARLY.
Him and his brother continued to cheat at Apples to Apples - although hilarious, annoying, because they would pick each other's cards. I kept calling them out on cheating, blah.
So, as I would turn around, generally not paying attention to my deck, they would switch out my cards or add more.
I turned around and I looked at my pile. It had at least five more cards that weren't there before. I made a face and turned to Pedro, "When did you-- These aren't mine."
As if on cue, his brother yelled out, with a pointing finger, "CHEATER - YOU'RE A CHEATER!"
I had to get a new deck, arrrrg.
Everyone else saw/knew they were doing this.
Assholes, didn't even help me, haha.
Catch Phrase is a horrible game.
Cranium is fun.
Pedro kept making me read out his team's cards. I continuously told him I wasn't his card bitch.
His brother liked that one.
I had the dumbest guy as my partner - it sucked.
And I normally don't like to make fun of intelligence unless it's actually called for.
He didn't know what sensual meant.
And the three words to describe sensual... He didn't understand any of those either.

I'm getting a ten dollar gift from work since I am the star team member.
Wow, right?
The pressure to pick something.
I still haven't decided.

wow, what muscle definition.

I HAVE FINALLY FOUND THIS MOTHERFUCKER.
I have been looking for this well over two years.
I'm so happy, I could vomit.
Date it was taken: April 22, 2007.
Senior year.
Ah.

Anddddd,

I did that.
Ha.

haha, what you doin'?

The most, pathetically sad, exciting thing I have done in awhile.
(Did that make sense?)
I stole a cart. It was in Marina's apartment's parking lot.
(A whole lot of possession there.)
It makes me so excited.



All my yarn ♥
IT WAS A FUCKING BITCH TO GET IN MY CAR. I drove home, paranoid, still.
Parked in the driveway, squeezed that thing BACK OUT OF MY CAR ALONEEEE. I then CARRIED IT TO THE FUCKING RONT DOOR, UP SOME STEPS. LUGGED IT ACROSS MY LIVING ROOM, TRYING NOT TO MAKE A NOISE. Thennnnn, GOT IT IN MY ROOM, knocked on my sis's door and showed her. Amazing.
She laughed.

Today started off okay, went to aggravating, back to okay, back to 'heyleavemethefuckalone' to great!
Went to Marina's after work to smoke FLAVORED TOBACCO (cherry) from her hookah.
No weed involved with the hookah.
Amazing experience... Will do again....
OH WAIT, TOMORROW AT 7.
But then I busted out my last joint and smoked half on Marina's balcony. Got hella paranoid (Marina didn't smoke) and we sat there. Two guys were rolling by in a car and smiled, pointing up at us. I had already put my joint down, letting it burn out.
Even when they were going into their apartment across the way, they were still pointing and smiling, lips moving.

We then went to her room and had the below conversations...
Me - *looking at Marina's movies* Hush? What's that about?
Marina - Oh, it's about a girl who...
Me - *throws hand dramatically at Marina* Hush! I don't want to hear it!

OH.
We talked about her roommated getting a vibrator in the mail. Marina thought it was her package and opened it.
Awkward, I thought, until Marina spilt that her roommate had masturbated in the same room, with her beside her.
You know dorms, how crowded.
Ugh.
Makes me red.

mollly ... MOLLY.... MOLLLLYYYYYY! come here, that's right.

That was my first ever party. say what you will... it was awkwardly satisfying.
Yeah, yeah.
20-years-old, stoner, never been to a party where the goal is to be drunk. It was nice. I didn't drink, because I don't believe in drinking and driving... PLUS, I can't hold my liquor.

Pedro hosted the bash. Half of them were wasted when I got there.
Don't think I'm super cool and jumped right into the social value of a party. Nope, stayed silent, in the background. Went to the garage, smoked one with some older broad named Candi... I think. (Candy. Candie. Maybe it was Crystal?) And then watched them play beer pong. The best half hour of my life.
I had never seen the game, only heard.
Pedro had laughed at me being so interested in it.
This guy... a ping pong had bent on both ends (if balls have ends... haaaa balls). He laid to the side, pointing at it with both hands and announced, "WE HAVE AN INJURED PLAYER ON THE COURT!"
That guy was awesome.

I was the only one not drinking.
Awkward, right?
Anyway.
They started to play flip cup. A girl, I used to dislike in HS, offered to take my drinks and I would just flip the cup. She did it until she wavered a bit, then came up with the idea of me taking coke shots.
I did.
Without Pedro's knowledge.
Ha, everyone thought I drunk beer.
Sounds so lame now.

I had never seen Pedro drunk. It was funny. He's a hilarious guy.
/endpartytalk

Argh.
I'm so tired of people not forgetting about me. No, really. They just can't get over me, and just can't leave me alone although I had made it very clear.

AND I STILL DON'T HAVE MY FUCKING LIGHTER, THAT GODDAMN UGLY STEP-SISTER OF CASEY'S... I'M PISSED. I HAVE USED THAT LIGHTER FOR SO MANY FUCKING THINGS.

ps - /startpartytalkagain
On my way to Pedro's, there had been a car behind me for several miles. I knew it was a cop, instinct, unrealized knowledge in headlights. I was still looking for Pedro's house - it's easy to miss and I had only been there once.
I passed it up. First, though, I thought my lane turned into a turning lane and swerved into the grassy median. Nice, right? So, I get back over, look for a left turn to do a U-Turn.
As I ease over into the left turn place, the cop makes like he wants to pass me and keep going straight then changes his mind. Once I realize it was a Sheriff for positive, I turn into some odd driveway. I act like I'm getting ready to get out. He passes me. So, in a hurry, I roll out of the driveway and make a right to slip into Pedro's (a few feet away) without being seen.
I accomplish my goal, seeing the Sheriff's headlights swinging back in my direction. As I'm driving and watching in my rearview for this fuzz, I narrowly miss Pedro's house AGAIN and make a hard right, slamming on my brakes.
Thankfully, the Sheriff had just arrived at the right turn and didn't see me pull in. He passed right by and I was safe once again.
Wow, that sounds just as lame as the previous story.

I'm a loser. Why do I even try?

THERE, FINE, WHATEVER, GOD.

The night before last me, Casey and her step-sister all got high on the golf course beside her apartments. Casey has only smoked maybe... Three times? Last time was just under a year ago. I had made plans to control her portions, you know? Welllll. Since her step-sister was there, I was distracted and forgot allll about it.
Casey had WAY too much.
To the point where she started freaking out, getting paranoid, her body felt weird and she started to jitter. Surprisingly, I didn't find it a buzzkill.
Now the walk to the spot we did it at was long and we had to jump over a small fence too. Casey was at her peak, freaking the fuck out. I was sitting directly ahead of her, smiling, really amused and her step-sister continued to want to get up and go home.
I put a stop to that because Casey would have freaked the fuck out and would have probably cried if it hadn't been for the THC, hhaahahaha. I'm still amused.
I kept saying, "This is my impression of Casey when she's had too much weed, 'BITCH, BITCH, MOAN, BITCH.'"
So, step-sister left (thank god, I don't much care for her). I was getting Casey distracted by talking and being funny until a police little siren went off and she pleaded to go home.
We did.
THEN, she just wanted to sit in my car. She went in, got the cheesecake, two forks and we sat in my car for about half an hour. It was fun. Told her stories.
Then we went upstairs and talked while watching Cheers.
She bitched the entire three hours it lasted for her. Yes, I apologized a lot because I should have paid attention and made her stop at three hits, not her 10th one, haha.
But it was fun for me, because Casey NEVER freaks out. I enjoyed myself.

Ah, last night. What can I say? I went for a drive, and yes, that is code for what you think it is.
The bitch of a step-sister (Casey's) stole my lighter. I loved that thing. It was only a bic, but still. So, I had to get the big one that lights grills and such. So, as I'm driving, I try to light it. I light the fucking middle, not the end. What a waste. I smoke some, throw it out the window, I wasn't going to begin to pull over and get it to burn out so I could pull it in half to salvage. Psh.
Anyway. Came home, paranoid as fuck. Went straight to my room, played around with photoshop, talked to Stacy Dawes who recently added me on FB.
I hate that place. I lost the bet, so I cannot delete.
Stacy had been friends with Cricket since birth.
Oh god. Within the first three minutes of our fucking conversation, she mentioned how I was high and how she hangs out with Cricket at least once a week. How she slid into that was, 'when's the last time you saw cricket lol'
I deleted her, and Alex.
But, shouldn't I take it as a compliment? Those people... They just can't get over me, or forget about my existent so easily as I can theirs. Sad. I'm so cool.
Afterwards, I texted Casey around 2AM:
And Stacy Dawes added me and now she's talking about seeing cricket once a week. Wtf? I'm thinking of deleting her right away.
Sorry you fell asleep. I'm stimulating and you're too snobby to feel it. Sad. I'm up for another hour because I'm young and able.
Fuck you because you fell asleep - I'm bored. Oh well. Hope you have/had nightmares!
I'm so rad.

OH!
That pic I photoshopped. Discovered the dodge tool.
http://i44.tinypic.com/2cxc5lc.jpg
Fuck yes. I look so noble.

hahaha, he's so gay.

1246amChad
ah yes thats right

(**NOTICE THE TIME GAP!! OR HOW MANY MINUTES PASS THROUGH THE END OF OUR CONVERSATION**)

1:13amMe
sorry.

1:13amChad
its ok

1:13amMe
i went for a drive.
it said you were offline.

1:14amChad
lol why if i may ask

1:14amMe
it's really pretty tonight.

1:16amMe
and I just killed a little bit of the beautifulby driving.
+spce
....
SPACE

1:16amChad
lol

1:17amMe
http://www.facebook.com/#!/photo.php?pid=30748585&id=1196340056
can you see that?

1:17amChad

no

1:18amMe
http://i43.tinypic.com/15y94wl.jpg
i almost pissed myself when i saw that.

1:19amChad
haha
nice

1:20amMe
that's a real, true gay man.
i know him.
i graduated with him.

1:20amChad
nice whats his name

1:21amMe
cody moore
"Cody Ray Moore"

1:21amChad
i think im going to try and sleep have a good one

1:21amMe
peace


I've known that guy since 1st grade. KNOWN OF HIM, I moved way back when and ya know.
Anyway.
Yeah.
We briefly dated.
It's awkward because he talks about it like it was yesterday.
I shiver.

ps - http://i41.tinypic.com/24bn4ex.png

oops, that one was turkey.

One real quick post them I'm off to bed because I'm already ready to pass out.

This morning, picked up Sushi for me and Casey. The same rushing-you-as-you-eat waitor, aka Joshua, stopped and made small chat with me again. Haha. Still thankful, I noticed.

Afterwards, I helped her move again. Had her laundry in my arms and tried to go through her door. Got stuck. Proceeded to laugh with the HEAVY FUCKING LOAD in my arms and repeated, "Shit, don't laugh, it's only harder."
I was so tired.
But I was determined to help her move her bed and everything today. We did, with the help of guys - which I was surprisingly thankful for.
See, she has this chair and a half in her room. Beautiful, adore it, and I wanted to move it, prove to myself I'm strong.
"Why don't we move this?"
Casey looked at me and shook her head, "Have you felt that thing?"
I lifted one end, "No, I think we can do it." Mind you she lives two stories up, her truck isn't right off the stairs and we would have to heave that thing onto the tailgate and scoot.
"No, I think we should wait for Michael."
"Whatever. Here, I'll just take this stool since that's the only thing I can handle as a woman."
"Alright, you got me, let's move it."
When we did.
Holy shit.
Could have used men.
Shit.
I begged for one to just show up and help, haha.
Took us a good ten minutes from her room to the truck.

Then, I went home, ate supper, left again for April's.
Me and April were sitting at the kitchen table and her little girl, Autumn, three-years-old, was in my lap.
I would laugh and talk to April as usual but Autumn's head was directly in front of my mouth. I noticed and noticed she would always do the cringe thing when I would sigh, take a deep breath, my hot air blowing on her head. I asked her, "Do you not like me blowing on your head?"
She shook it, remarking, "I don't want you to blow on my head because you're ugly."
Oh, it was hilarious.

oh, i really have to poop.

So, I took three valium and decided to watch Disney porn.
Apparently Pocahontas has light purple nipples.

[20:18] レイプマン！: omg, i'm watching disney porn, right?
[20:18] レイプマン！: and they have this ariel one.
[20:18] レイプマン！: i was like, "how in the hell would they have sex?
[20:18] レイプマン！: "
[20:18] レイプマン！: turns out, her fins are like a skirt and she can just pull them down like a vagina.
[20:18] レイプマン！: lol
[20:18] レイプマン！: "pull down to a vagina"
[20:18] レイプマン！: haha
[20:18] テイラー: LOL
[20:18] テイラー: WTF
[20:18] テイラー: A DISNEY PORN?
[20:18] テイラー: THEY HAVE THAT>
[20:18] レイプマン！: love it.
[20:19] レイプマン！: pocahontas has light purple nipples.
[20:19] テイラー: ...........
[20:19] テイラー: Ew
[20:19] テイラー: That's... Wtf..
[20:20] レイプマン！: ew goofy.
[20:20] レイプマン！: and ariel.
[20:20] テイラー: EW WHAT?
[20:20] テイラー: DDDD:
[20:20] レイプマン！: this is hilarious.
[20:20] テイラー: I can just picture him doing that gay ass laugh while having sex
[20:20] テイラー: HURR HURR
[20:20] テイラー: DURR
[20:21] テイラー: AHH DURR
[20:21] テイラー: xD
[20:21] レイプマン！: GAWSH THAT'S GREAT.
[20:21] テイラー: LOL

[20:21] テイラー: Did he say that? omfg
[20:21] レイプマン！: no
[20:21] レイプマン！: haha
[20:21] レイプマン！: i just made that up.
[20:21] テイラー: xDDD
[20:21] テイラー: He should say that
[20:21] レイプマン！: lol
[20:21] テイラー: Right now
[20:22] レイプマン！: OMG THE SEAGULL AND ARIEL.
[20:23] テイラー: LOL WHAT?
[20:23] レイプマン！: yeah!
[20:23] レイプマン！: it's over.
[20:23] レイプマン！: i want to download all these paradoies.
[20:24] テイラー: How many are there? lol
[20:24] レイプマン！: i guess one for each movie.
[20:24] レイプマン！: this is just a bunch of randomness in one video.
[20:24] テイラー: Does she just like fuck everyone in the whole movie?
[20:25] レイプマン！: no
[20:25] レイプマン！: it was beauty and the beast too.
[20:25] レイプマン！: has
[20:25] テイラー: Oh? lol...
[20:25] レイプマン！: it's, weird.
[20:25] レイプマン！: especially since that's my favourite movie ever.
[20:25] レイプマン！: ooooh, cinderalla.
[20:25] レイプマン！: except without cinderella.
[20:25] レイプマン！: haha
[20:26] レイプマン！: it's ariel.
[20:26] レイプマン！: wtf
[20:26] テイラー: ...what?
[20:26] レイプマン！: yeah
[20:26] レイプマン！: that old guy from cinderella.
[20:26] レイプマン！: and prince eric.
[20:26] レイプマン！: and then ariel.
[20:26] レイプマン！: in the ball room cinderalla was at
[20:28] レイプマン！: oh man.
[20:28] レイプマン！: it's over.
[20:28] レイプマン！: ahhhhh
[20:29] テイラー: xDD.. That's... wtf
[20:29] テイラー: Where do you find this shit
[20:29] レイプマン！: megaporn.com
[20:30] テイラー: Omg..
[20:30] レイプマン！: what?
[20:31] テイラー: Nothing lol.
[20:31] レイプマン！: haha
[20:35] レイプマン！: i uh
[20:35] レイプマン！: i am uh
[20:35] レイプマン！: i am bored uh

*some of this conversation has been censored ;) because SHE'S paranoid.
Not me.

Helped Casey move in for like forty-five minutes today. Well, just unloaded the truckload she had. And, I picked up this fucking long tub full of odd books. When I was trying to go through the narrow stairway with a plastic tub that was nearly longer than my arms, she said,
Casey - I almost reconsidered bringing those.
Me - Why, because this would be difficult?
Casey - Nooo, because those are my yearbooks.
Me - What?! I'm carrying our youth up these steps?
Casey - yeah, and I'm carrying my stuff in a corona light box.
Me - Hahahahah, that was your youth!

While we were getting more things, she had these ducks walk onto her lawn. I looked her them, confused.
Me - You have a pond? *shifts the boxes in my hands*
Casey - Yeah, right over there. I fed them bread, now they won't leave me alone. They continue to follow me. I think they want to go inside.
Me - You think they will?
Casey - *shrugs*
Me - *goes inside, puts boxes down and as I'm walking out, I hear this guy's voice*
Guy - Sorry, I just want to see if they'll go in my place.
Me - *hears laughing and a dog bark - Casey walking into the doorway, laughing and pointing outside*
Casey - They tried and then the dog chased them out.

those eggs did suck

Okay. Yesterday, at work, wasn't that bad. Not at all.
Thanks to FB, Pedro remembered I existed and we had lunch together. He also invited me to a party next week. On a thursday of all days, haha.
I'm begging Casey to go with me... It'll be awkward because I know no one. You know that feeling?
BTW, only reason I got ANOTHER facebook (I had one way back when you were only invited to one by college students, ha!) was because Casey and me had a bet. She won. Fuck.

AND.
Some funny convos for your pleasure.

1:18amMe
I don't know. You always seem to like the bitches.

1:20amCasey
Bitches don't really raft
lol
or climb, or hang with grandmothers and dogs.

1:20amMe
lol
you sounded black
"bitches don't"

1:21amCasey
bitches don't act BLACK

1:21amMe
lol

1:21amCasey
bitches don't mess with me
lemme ax youa questin

1:21amMe
'sup?

Or maybe it was funnier in the moment?
Okay, one more.

Casey
http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000122322826
of course :):) and I'm damn good at it.

1:44amMe
OMG I KNOW
hahaha!
A** CHICK
i love how she censored herself.
i wanted to add her.
then i'm like, "naw."

1:44amCasey
LOL
she says FUK

1:46amMe
I LOVE HOW SHE TYPES IN ALL CAPS.

1:46amCasey
BLACK PEOPLE DO THAT.
THEY HAVE TO GET THEIR POINT ACROSS.

1:46amMe
WHY? FOR POWER ISSUES?
HAHA.

1:47amCasey
I GUESS SO.

1:47amMe
EVEN IN MY HEAD, I'M YELLING THIS.

1:47amCasey
THAT'S WHY THEIR MUSIC IS LOUD, AND SO ARE THEIR CLOTHES.
THEY THINK CAUSE THEIR DARK WE CAN'T SEE THEM.

munch munch munch

Me - you know, africa never gets a break.
marina (black) - what?
Me - they don't get a break from ... hardships.
marina - *laughs so hard she bends over* yeah, i'm so glad you guys brought us over. i couldn't imagine myself dusty and naked.

ahhhhh.

So, there's this one really nice, cute guy who works where I work. I knew he took drugs, several, because one day, while waiting for the manager to open the doors for us, he got jittery, bit his nails, started tensing up and smacking his thigh, repeatedly, VERY impatient. Kind of like pre-cocaine jitters.
Yesterday night, me and Marina were sitting there and he groaned. Marins turned and asked him how his head was.
He replied, "It's busting." He bent over and put his palms to them. "It's these lights."
Marina joked, "You high?"
Me, "Yeah, are you on something?"
Marina looked at me and smiled, "I was kidding."
I looked at her, "I wasn't."
He mentioned how he was smoking a lot more from his bong... And, I was like, uh, that wouldn't be it... And I know he's on something stronger, he's just not going to admit it.

No one believes I smoke.
Fuck it.
I do look 12-years-old, but it shouldn't matter.

molly can get her kisses from you.

AHHHHHH.
Wonderful day.
Started out shitty, but it turned out like the smell of an Iris. Anyone ever smell those bitches?
Like heaven in your senses.
Okay.
Me and Casey kicked it at some Japanese restaurant because we wanted sushi. When I got there, waiting for her ass, everyone kept staring at me. Me being paranoid, I thought it was because I was alone. Blah blah... Then they finally told me, five minutes before, that the kitchen closes in FIVE MINUTES. I felt so bad. I hated working restaurants for that reason. I kept apologizing.
The waiter kept antagonizing us to hurry, blah blah. We ate in a hurried fashion, kind of sitting there. He even had the audacity to make small talk and then just bluntly ask, "Hey, is there anyway I could get you two to pay for this now so I can do my paperwork?"
He did, later on, apologize to us about rushing us. We accepted. I think it's because we left him a near-ten dollar tip.
But it was fun. Afterwards, since I had some time to kill, we sat in Casey's truck and made jokes, watched people, blah. She convinced me to get a facebook. Which I don't want, but I will TRY FOR A WEEK, like a demo.

Picked up my sister from school.
WE SAW KICK-ASS.
Okay. Okay.
Awesome fucking movie.
Awesome, awesome, awesome.
I give a 7.5/10.
I didn't like that fucking girlfriend.
I didn't like PARTS of the ending.
I didn't like the pace of the movie (too quick, bypassed a lot of bonding moments with other characters in the story).
And Christopher Mintz-Plasse's evil side could have been better.
But, shit, wow.
Fucking adored it.
Want to go again.

Oh, coming back from the movie, there was this late-thirties man sitting in his car, both windows down, just begging for it. Me, I asked my sister if he'd turn over if I blasted old 80s rock.
He barely glanced.
grrrr.

oh god i hate that

Oh jesus christ I had an odd dream.
With rabid people-eaters.
That's not perverted.

It had Kyle, me, Claire from A Macabre Story and some guy who looked like Kramer from Seinfeld. Anyway.
Me, Kyle and Claire had stepped outside and realized it was oddly quiet. As we were walking around we went into my old house so they could get something to drink and use the bathroom. When we broke in, I kept urging them to hurry before the cops would notice.
Blue flashing lights were in the window before we ran out of there, deciding to go to the mall next.
There it was full and all Kyle and Claire wanted was some more drink. As they did so I noticed something odd. People running and these weird, crazed people chasing them.
Next thing I remember was holding up in some stock room, wondering what to do, how to do anything. Kyle and Me were standing there and I asked where Claire was. He pointed to the other end of the stock room where all those people were.
I had to get her, to save her.
I ran from the stock room to the backdoors, pressing buttons. A zombie beside me had a crowbar, trying to pry open the door. When he saw me, he dropped it and started after me. I screamed, ducking into the open door just in time. I found Claire and some old man.
I told them what to do, how to protect themselves. Then Kramer showed up.
He had ran first. The monster had been waiting and when Kramer ran out to open the door for us, the thing had pressed a button, releasing this pale green slime. Kramer had been screaming and his skin started to smoke, melt away.
Although he had died, me, Claire and the old man made it back to the stock room, closing the door on several monsters.
They were skinny, the monsters, had red eyes and bloodied lips. They snarled for sound.
I walked up to the old man, making sure he was okay. The old man kept thanking me, taking my hand and smiling up at me. In the middle I heard him scream, the Claire. Kyle ran up and told me to run, they got inside.
I looked back to the old man, a monster was on his neck.
I looked around for Claire and the monsters had her at her neck and legs, chewing.
I woke up.

Aside from work being the most boring fucking thing on this planet, nothing has happened.
I've been too depressed lately to even breathe. It's awful.
I can't help but think no one likes me and all their stares and 'polite' smiles are cover-ups for the hatefulness towards me. Am I that awful?
Maybe it's just the depression, I don't know.
I seriously already hate Target and it hasn't even been a month. NOT EVEN A MONTH and I hate my job.

Right now I'm so fucking hungry.
I could eat a horse.
There's nothing in the house. Nothing. Everything would need something else that we don't have. I want mac and cheese, but that would require a lot more than I'm willing to give.
Fuck it. I'll just talk back to my stomach when it growls.

why does it do that?!

I had several dreams last night. Most of them careless and boring. Some of them so boring I didn't go back to sleep until I was for sure I wouldn't just dream it over again.

First
Me and a friend were walking downtown, at night, and decided to visit the old dam. AS we were trying to sneak in, this car pulled up with three girls, our age, in it. They threatened us and made us accompany them to the dam. Me and my friend just shrugged it off. We had went up and down stairs, ending up at dead ends.
And, finally, after what felt like an hour of searching, we found it. They roamed their flashlight across the ground and it was just mud. When you stuck your foot into it, it would just sink. We were at another dead end, and dead climax.
Then we heard this cat meow. Thinking it was a stray, we tried to go back to their car. No matter which way we tried, we always ended up back at the mud hole.
The cat meowed at us again, going down a set of stairs we hadn't seen before. We followed it until it stopped at a ledge, with only a wood leading to the other ledge, where we needed to be to get to the car.
We were beginning to crawl across it before I started to slip.

Second
Too sad to mention. Some guy called me fat and throughout the dream, I couldn't escape it.

Third
Too sick and perverted to lay the details out.

Fourth
There had been this giant snake. His name started with an 'S.' (I cannot remember the full name, although I had said it several times through the dream.) I had been the size of a doll, trying to tip-toe past the snake's lair. He had slithered out so quickly, I didn't even see him until his face was in mine. He wiggled his tongue and said, "I'm hunnnggrryyyyy."
"I'm very sorry."
"You're just the right size."
"I'm afraid I'm not."
In a blink he had coiled and his fangs wide open, fixing to swallow me, alive. Until these dolls, my friends, came and distracted him. He uncoiled me and I ran away, to the living room, where I returned to normal size. My father was standing there and I, weak, sat on the couch. "Dad, dad, there's a snake underneath the stove!"
I saw Molly start to sniff at the stove and got worried
"Dad, get Molly away-- The S snake is under the stove!"
"Hahahaha, Heather, really, S?"
I saw something jerk out then back into the stove and Molly made some awful noise. I stood. "Dad, it just bit Molly!"
I kept hearing Molly's shrieks and I started to cry, "We have to take her to the vet Now! She's going to die, S is very poisonous!"
I woke up.

See? Very boring.

you are cute

I FINALLY reinstalled my webcam. It's been, what, one, two months since I've gained my computer back. I really have no use for this sucker. It's pointless.
I do, however, like those little filters. Especially the horror movie one. As you can see.
Don't judge my apparel... I'm really fucking cold and the sweater adds one-hundred pounds. Doesn't it? I know I'm not exaggerating.
Oh, and don't say shit about my hair. I haven't fixed it tonight because why in the hell would I fix it and then just sleep on it?


Ha!

that is making me feel odd

I'm finishing up American Psycho. It's possibly one of the best books I have read in my lifetime so far and I'm not kidding.
The only thing is, when he starts describing the killing scenes... I actually wanted to vomit a couple of times. Literally, I would be dry heaving while reading more and more. That takes a bit for me, too. I love horror, I love reading people killing people, but Ellis, holy shit. This man. I question him.
I cannot wait until I finish so I can go read interviews about the book, rewatch the movie and then balance my checkbook.
My online bank account says I'm eighty-bucks ahead - it's been like for a week. I haven't spent money to see if it would go down, something would come up.
Nothing, nada.
And I checked everything, I can't find a problem.
I'll just keep it there, not recorded. Just incase, you know?

So, I have this story, and I don't want you all's views or opinions affect the way you JUDGE me, understand?
A couple of days ago, I was complaining about 'zoning' the girls/women/teen sections because all the clothes look alike and I never shop so it's hard for me to judge anything. As I say this, my sister looks up from her computer and asked, "Okay, Heather, let's be honest with ourselves," she chuckles, "are you a lesbian?"
My mother's eye flinch over, but she just waits.
"Yes, yes I am!"
Amanda laughs and that's it.
A night later, as I'm passing my mother in her chair, she stops me with, "Heather, were you serious yesterday?"
I stop and give her a look, "What? About what?"
"Being a lesbian, were you serious?" My mother has no trace of funny on her face.
"Uh, maybe," I laugh and start to walk away, again.
"Heather, I'm serious! Are you really?!"
"OMG, MOM, is this because I don't date?"
"No!"
"It is, you just thought about it..." I was thinking of me and Cricket... And it would make sense, if me and Cricket had ever gotten that close - which we NEVER did.
"No, I would just like to know."
"Yeah, I am," I laugh.
"Whatever, Heather." And she chuckles.

No, really, I am... But I think it would be the most awkward thing for my parents to know. I may say I like guys, but really, I think I just feel OBLIGATED to like them, since it's the 'hot thing' amongst my age range.
I like girls.
I like staring at girls.
I like liking girls.
Hahaha.
I think that story was the best coming out story, ever.
Me and Casey were talking about it, before that story had happened, and I just flatly said, "A penis maks me gag. Imagining a guy on me makes me want to take a shower. They make me feel wrong, awkward and dirty. They're just awful."

Don't worry, my mom prefers me to be gay. It's my father who has the problem and, personally, I don't care.

eye of the tiggeerrrrrr

A little girl, yesterday, thought I was a guy.
Ugh.

Uhhh, no

I had the oddest dreams last night. I had one nightmare and one that just happened for the sake of happening.

Nightmare
The first thing I remember was I had been summoned to do this "television thing."
So, I went to the mall, seeing as how that's where they wanted to meet up. They drove us to this little house, two stories. I had been grouped with several people. Only three I really remember - some short-haired girl, another girl who had longer hair and a guy. Ha.
The "society" who grouped us, put us through vigorous tests. One had been to shoot one of us and leave him dead, another had been to drug us and when the short-haired girl found a semi-exit, three men in black coats and black shades came bursting through the door.
They all had guns pointing at us.
The bland girl ran for it, crying.
The short-haired girl pointed her gun at them.
Me, I stared, chest hurting from an anxiety attack, ran too.

The next part switched to me being in my apartment, living life normally, like that shit never happened and, suddenly, that short-haired girl knocked on my door.
I was surprised she was still alive.
"They're coming," she said, "hide this."
She shoved the gun in my couch cushion and ran out through the door. I ran to the door to see what the fuck was happening.
Suddenly, those same three men came in and I started to back up. I stopped when I ran into my kitchen table.
"You ran," the leader said, gun pointed right at my face.
I nodded, "But I thought---"
"If you run, you automatically die." He had a deep voice, with a slight German accent.
I covered my eyes with my hands and said something muffled before I heard that gunshot. In that moment I wondered what death would feel like, how it would feel to be shot in the head. There had been a gust of wind on my face and I woke up, not feeling tired at all.
It took me a bit to fall back asleep.

A Dream to be the sake of A Dream
I had been living with three girls in some apartment. Next door were two guys, one, Pedro, who you all know.
Bills were coming in and all my money was running out. Then, I learned, that Dir en grey were having a concert in upstate New York.
With all my depression, money issues, bills and the need to get out there and have some type of an adventure, my friend pushed me to go.
We had no car and she said we'd just walk to New York, that it wouldn't be a problem.
There were some issues on the way.
We moved a ladder for my friend so she could step down and when we moved it, there were lizards and we hid them from her, seeing as how she was scared.
We saw old friends from high school, which I thought was weird, because it was New York, why would old high school friends be there.
After awhile, I kept asking where the hell were we and how long... My friend replied, "We've been in NY for ten days."
"WHAT, AND WE HAVE YET TO GET A HOTEL?"
(hahahahah, that sounds like me)
Then I start to look around and note how it doesn't really look like the NY in movies.
And, then, hair a mess, stinking, clothes dirty, we end up at the stadium and buy tickets. The show's not until later that night, so I'm trying to persuade my friends to buy us a hotel room so I could get washed up.
They were blowing me off when I woke up.

there are five comments, whatttt

For the first time ever, I have been drinking.
Well, first time ever, drinking adn then posting.

It's kicking in, I dare say.
I had my first REAL day at Target.
Somewhat amusing, somewhat boring.
I had the jitters for a good portion of... Hate that.
Tomorrow, maybe not, but I know for a fact that Saturday I will be. Seven hours straight and I have NO IDEA what to do.
IS that sad?
Yeah, why not.

The guy who trained me seemed completely useless to society. He was very imcompetent. More so than most people I work with.

Oh dear lord.

Oh! I watchen 'Tarzan' today. I miss that movie.
Fucking decade shit Disney does.
Beauty and the Beast is coming out soon on DVD. I'm considering buying it and having movie night with Pedro with it.
Or just literally rub it in his face and laugh manically.
Is that the word? I can never remember.

Fuck, I still have to take out my contacts.

Did it, and I'm tired.
Ready for bed.
Hope you all have a pleasant and safe tomorrow.

ps - shit, still don't feel like posting pics.

i can't even sit up.

I have no inspirtation.
I have nothing to make funny anymore.
I have nothing.
You think that's depressing, psh.

I am no longer an item with Kroger.
Quit that shit faster than ... well, I don't have anything to finish that.
So, I guess I quit that faster than my humor.
I work at Target now, which seems to impress everyone I talk to. I don't see why. Is it a secret club? A magical portal to the most awesome shit to ever happen to humanity? Target is a classier walmart and Kroger was a walmart wannabe. Where's the middle ground?

I discovered a new addiction of mine: Valium.
Works for some, jizzs on the other's faces. Excuse me, the eye. Jizz in the eye.
I have two couring through me as I type. I took a shower at my peak.
The single most awesome experience of my life - better than being so high I couldn't walk. Now, now all I want to do is lay on my bed, pretend it's a cloud and float away.
Float the fuck away.
No anger, no stress. Just me and serenity.
It's remarkable.
Can you tell I haven't smoked weed in two months? Over two fucking months.
A new record.
Hallelujah?

I have NEW knitted items.
Pictures later.
I don't think I have the energy.
Or maybe I do?










No, I lied, I don't.

i miss miyavi

HandstanD: It does look a lot like it.
privateI: was that meant for me?
HandstanD: No. That was meant for my cousin.
HandstanD: She too sent me a picture. It was of a sculpture she made. Look like a penis.
privateI: ha

Seriously, though, I am seriously considering to stopping this blog.
I don't know why.
I'm boring again!

Has anyone watched Arrested Development?
Absolutely amazing.

oh, it's the height!

I had ANOTHER nightmare last night and, frankly, I love them.
This one started to FINALLY make sense and get interesting toward the end. I hardly remember it, but I do remember the feeling.
I was freezing last night, so I am seriously considering that as a possible ingredient to the whole nightmare thing.

There was this girl, Sharon, who had short hair, fair skin, clear skin. She was a cult leader per se. People followed her because she was frightening, beautiful, a murderer (I believe). I hated her. I wanted her gone. Every time I looked up at her she was smiling with an air of accomplishment.
So, I took a cloth with chloroform, stuck it took her mouth. In the dream I was suffocating her. Over and over. I could feel her heart on my arm. I held on to her mouth and her body until she was flaccid on the floor.
Unemotional, I ran into an apartment, scaring a couple. I asked for a gun, I needed to kill something.
The woman lied and said she didn't have one.
I continued to think, "I need to get out fo this, I just killed someone, I can't go to jail."
Police sirens were in the background and getting louder by the second. They screamed in my head... I wanted to cry, but nothing came out.
Through their closet, I found one. I traced its wrinkles with my thumb and kept thinking, "I just want to die, I couldn't go through jail, the trial, the faces of the people. I just can't make it."
And as I'm pointing it in my mouth, I wake up.
Haha.
I made that seem more corny than it was. Just thinking about it makes me feel depressed.

My cat has been declawed. I fucking hate it. My parents were all for it because we are getting new furniture. I feel so sorry for Princess, he's miserable. I should post funny stories related to the Vet but it's my bedtime. They called me in for tomorrow.

OH.
I
NOW
WEAR
CONTACTS.
Praise the Lord!

I have a dentist appointment for Tuesday.
A follow-up exam on Thursday for my eyes.
blah blah

and I'm thinking of discontinuing this blog.
More about this tomorrow.

Goodnight.

..little fat man boy OMG i haven't heard this song in forever!!

Looks like Princess has a heart murmur.
The only two men in the house now have heart conditions.
Makes me so sad.
They were going to get his claws removed, but since he has a heart murmur, they can't do vaccines and put him to sleep one day (apparently).
Makes me really sad.
Depressed :(
He's pissed, though.
He hasn't gotten up from my bed allll morning or purred since yesterday.
Not only that... He slept with me all night long and didn't get up for anything.
I love him and it hurts me he's pissed at me, lol.

Called in to work today.
Been too depressed to function.
I'm being a baby, really, I know I am.
OH WELL.
And I don't even know if I'm coming in tomorrow.... uncertainty!


NEW HAIR.
Bangs, across my forehead.
I adore it.
Love 'em.

hahahahahaha!

privateI: he looks so good in a suit.
privateI: i love men in uniforms and suits.
privateI: omgomgpomgogmpog
privateI: skinny ties.
privateI: italian shoes.
privateI: fkpgndgfd.
HandstanD: You need to stop before you have a joygasm.
HandstanD: Have you seen the new Star Trek
HandstanD: ??
HandstanD: ?
HandstanD: ?
privateI: nope.
HandstanD: AHHHsdj ;jht;ijh;dfij WHY NOT?!?!?
privateI: i forgot it existed.
HandstanD: You are such a whore! How could you do that? It's so pretty. Lots of touchable boys. I seriously want to collect them!
privateI: ha wow.
privateI: wow moze wow.
HandstanD: What? like you don't do that with you gay asian singers. Don't give me shit. At least mine speak english.

Hung out with Pedro yesterday.
Him and his brother bought a brand-new fucking house.
126,000 bucks, I think. Somewhere in that vacinity. I'm jealous.
It's nice.
I wanted to hug him, couldn't, felt awkward, haha.

yeah, i do.

KNITTING ALERT!
I finished my first headband with an i-cord.
(No affliation with Steve Jobs.)




The pattern was in some knitting magazine I received on Christmas. First time I ever followed a chart instead of a pattern, step by step, itself.
SUCCESS.

Nothing new.
This guy at work, Kyle something another.
Sweet heart.
Loves Buddhism.
Probably thinks I'm an idiot because all I can do is smile and nod as he speaks.
I suck when I'm nervous.
I am not well educated in flirting or finding out if he's single or not without asking.

he wants on my lap then he wants off. fuck him.

Muahahaha.

it's okay to be gay by tomboy!

The last thing I have said will go as my title, no matter what.
Muahaha.
I have such great ideas.

Okay, I finally resized and uploaded all my pictures from the past month.
Well, nearly a month.
I'm rounding.



My First Cable Scarf!
("That was Supposed to be Hard?")


My first Baby Blanket!
("Triangle Hell")
A woman at work (whose daughter I went to school with) stopped me and asked me to knit her a blanket for her daughter's upcoming child.
Haha.

Me and Casey had gone to Denny's and they have these sheets with 'fill in the blanks.'
Mine.
Casey's.


Amanda's Christmas Scarf (That I finished in January).
("Neopolitan Scarf")

Before me and Emily stopped speaking, we hung out and I brought playdoh and paint.

MY FLOWER :)

Emily's Shroom.

Emily's weird looking Mermaid.

My lonely umbrella. I messed up. Should have never put rain on the umbrella. Not to mention that the umbrella should have remained a plain black. Nothing else.
If you can't read the title, it's 'I Feel Under the Weather.'
Then we went to John's and he pulled out the yearbook. Omg.

MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Hahahahahahahaha. That's me ... Freshman year? Yeah. Hahahahahahahaha. I didn't even bother to smile or take off my coat!

IT'S KYLE! his senior year.

lol Cricket her Freshman year.
The next day we kicked it again and made Pancakes together. Me and Emily bugged john about how he made pancakes and he said, 'FINE! You do it, Heather!'
I did and I messed up once flipping... He automatically stopped and sighed, 'Awww, too bad.'
Hahaha.

Another period of time:

Noro Socks!
("Not Enough Orange")


A hat made with spare yarn. It has tiny cables in it.
("Too Long Hat")


Matches a scarf of mine ;)

Me and Casey kicked it a week or so ago, again, and we went to Spencers.
I discovered a couple of hats. I made her do one and I do another.

Me.

Casey.

A week ago I went to Nashville with the parental units.
They bought me a purse and some sunglasses.

;)

The next day I finished a hat. The day after that, another.

'The Latiss Hat' Pattern was randomly found on the internet... I like to call it, "I fucking hate lace patterns" hat.
It's cool as shit though:

Then I made one for my sister.

(Differences: Color and size.)

PHEW.
I have cute animal pictures, too, but I also have videos.
Until the videos are uploaded on youtube, I have nother more to this post.

ps - I was so angry the other day (no idea why... Not even PMS) that I nearly killed me and my sister while driving. I was angry already but when I got stuck behind a REALLY slow old fucking man, I went to pass him but this other car in the left hand lane was coming and I chose to risk it.
I nearly hit him head-on and the left-car flipped me off, haha.
I scared the shit out of my sister - when she left the car she was then pissed.